Chapter 6 The Trouble Caused
"Jeez, what took you so long?" Yumi hollered. She dried her hands on a towel and stomped over to her boyfriend with a glare plastered onto her face. Nekki flinched at her gaze and nearly leapt out of his skin when his girlfriend tackled him into an embrace.
"W-whoa Yumi! Um, why the hug?" the Asian American asked, obviously obfuscated.
"You are amazing for being able to take care of all of these cats and I love you for that!" the strawberry blond cried and smashed her lips into his. Nekki's face flushed into a deep shade of red in a matter of seconds. The Akatsuki observed this scene from the bathroom doorway, Hidan snickering as Itachi, Deidara, and Tobi had looks of disbelief on their furry faces.
"Well, all of this romantic business is the best situation for your gift!" Nekki exclaimed after the kiss. He gave her the bag that held the gift. Suddenly, a plastic covered spring gag sprung out of the bag when Yumi opened it, the strawberry blond giving a steely glare. Nekki burst into an uncontrollable laughter, which ended abruptly because Yumi promptly slapped his left cheek with a satisfying smack.
"I figured you would pull a prank like this," Yumi said. Nekki rubbed gingerly at his red cheek, his left eye tearing up.
"Man, you've got at good swing! Just makin' sure you're awake. Open your present," the young man said happily despite being hit. His girlfriend opened the bag warily and pulled out a beautifully wrapped box. She opened the box and revealed a glistening new cell phone.
"I figured your boss called so much that you other phone might explode, so I bought you a new phone. Infinite texting and calls for $10 a month!" the Asian American chirped. Yumi turned to face him and raised an eyebrow.
"Are you the one to be paying this?" the strawberry blond inquired.
"Well, I was thinking I can pay $5 and you can pay $5 per month," Nekki suggested. Yumi shrugged and nodded her head.
"If you ask me, she's f***ing using the b******!" Hidan mewed.
"I think it's sweet of him," Konan retorted.
"Of course you'd think that way. You're a chick," Hidan mumbled.
"I am a different kind of female, you know," Konan hissed, her spine prickling. Pein gave her gaze and her fur flattened.
"Think what you want to think, he's still losing money," Kakuzu mewed unhappily.
"Why are you so upset, un?" Deidara inquired.
"That means he'll spend less money on us!" Kakuzu replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Well, I'm going back to work. I'm going to have to memorize this new number so I can send it to my friends," Yumi said.
"Good idea! Make sure not to give it to the Boss man, otherwise this shiny new phone will explode!" Nekki added cheerfully. He stood mesmerized at the glistening phone.
"I'm leaving now," the strawberry blond murmured, waving her hand in front of her boyfriend's face. He shook his head and blinked a couple times before stuttering a 'good-bye'. Yumi smirked, then walked out of the house. Waiting for the sound of heels clicking pavement, Nekki raced to the freezer and took out an ice pack. He sighed with relief as the pain eased in his left cheek.
"Wimp," Sasori mewed. He began to groom himself by licking his front paws then wiping them behind his ears.
"Tobi's a good boy! Tobi thinks that the slap might have hurt!" Tobi exclaimed loudly.
"Stop talking in third person, un. It's really annoying," Deidara grumbled.
"You stop saying 'un' all the time, brat," Sasori murmured under his breath. The blond kitten whirled to face the red tabby and launched himself into the air with a yowl, knocking the striped kitten onto his back. In self-defense, Sasori pushed Deidara with his hind legs. The two felines clawed and bit each other until Pein gave a sigh.
"Will someone please separate those two?" he mewed. As if he knew what the orange kitten said, Nekki gently pulled the wrestling balls of fur apart.
"Why don't you cats ever stop attacking each other? This is a house of peace," the Asian American said raising his hands and waved his wrists in the air. He places one cat on his right shoulder and the other on the left. Nekki carefully picks up Tobi and plops him onto his head.
"I have to go to work tomorrow, 'kay guys? Yeah, I know. You didn't think I had a job, but I do. Do you guys want to come with me? It'll be an after Christmas day sale and I bet you guys could attract business; of course, that means you'll be wearing adorable costumes!" Nekki explained as the kittens stared at him with horrified expressions. Dumbfounded, Tobi squealed as he fell down the back of the young man's head. In a desperate attempt stay on his owner's head, the black and orange kitten dug his claws into Nekki's head.
"OH SWEET MOTHER OF ZEUS! GET OFF!" the Asian American wailed. He frantically pried Tobi off of his cranium and in the process knocked Deidara and Sasori off of his shoulders. With a swift movement, he caught both cats. Ungracefully on his part, he came crashing down to the linoleum floor.
"Damn it Tobi, why did you have to fall?" Deidara hissed as he shook his spinning head.
"Great job, you annoying brat. Now he's unconscious!" Sasori mewed sarcastically. He prodded his owner's face with his small, fuzzy paw and received not response.
"Now how are we going to be fed, b******?" Hidan cussed. He swiped an unsheathed paw at the black and orange kitten's head. Tobi squeaked in surprise then ran to hide behind Zetsu.
"Enough with that. We need to find a way to wake him up," Pein ordered sternly.
"Who cares? We have control of the f***in' house now!" Hidan puffed.
"Yeah, but he makes money tomorrow so if he doesn't go to work, he won't be able to get food for us," Kakuzu pointed out.
"You and your f***in' money," Hidan growled. "Let's have some fun, then figure out how to wake him up."
"Uuh, how about those that want to have fun, have fun and the rest think of ways to wake up Nekki?" Kisame suggested nervously. He shuffled his front paws and cast anxious glances to the other kittens. The rest of the Akatsuki members stood shocked at blue kitten's recommendation.
"That sounds like a perfect plan," Pein agreed. They all nodded their heads in agreement.
"I'll be in the group that is having f***ing fun!" Hidan yowled. He bounced around and dashed over to the couch.
"Who else will join Hidan?" the orange kitten asked.
"No f***ing way," Kakuzu hissed.
"Guys, I want tot have fun! Hey Hidan, let's see if he has any explosives?" Deidara mewed. In excitement, both kittens dashed off out of the kitchen.
"Please don't burn the house down," Sasori murmured. "I'll go with them to make sure they play within reason."
"Alright. Hidan, Deidara, and Sasori are going to play. Who else is going and who is staying?" Pein asked.
"Tobi wants to go with Senpai!" Tobi mewed. He bounced, skipped, and ran to catch up to his 'friend'.
"I'll go with the fool, he'll probably get himself hurt," Zetsu murmured. The black, white, and green kitten started to pad over to the frivolous cats when Pein intersected him.
"No, I'll need you here to help find ways to wake the boy up," the orange kitten ordered. The tricolor feline glowered at his superior and stalked back to where he was sitting. Pein kept his gaze on Zetsu for a few seconds to assure his dominance.
"Pein-sama, may I go play? I couldn't think of any ideas to wake him up," Kisame mewed sheepishly.
"Sure, go have fun," Pein nodded. The blue kitten darted off in search of the other energetic cats.
"Okay, I am assuming that the rest of you want to formulate a plan to wake up our owner?" he asked the remaining kittens. They all nodded. "Any ideas?"
"Wait until he wakes up?" Kakuzu huffed. Itachi rolled his crimson eyes and snorted.
"You want to pick a fight?" the brown tabby hissed, his hackles raising.
"No, I just want you to think of a better idea," Uchiha mewed bluntly.
"Well, do share your opinion," Kakuzu said mockingly.
"How about we pour water onto his face?" Itachi offered.
"No, we cannot reach the faucet," Zetsu grumbled. The lime-eyed kitten sneered at the black, white, and red cat. The red-eyed cat was oblivious to the negative gaze and flicked his ear to prove his point.
"How about we jump on him?" Konan asked. Zetsu shook his head in disagreement.
"We are too light," he mewed under his breath.
"What should we do then if what we are suggesting is incorrect?" Pein inquired.
"We should try something that can be done easily for our size and ability," the plant cat mewed. "We should first try to use gentle matters, then move into more violent ones. Try mewing in his ears. The sound might wake him up." Konan turned her head, shrugged, and walked over to Nekki's fallen body.
"I cannot tell if he is breathing or not," the violet kitten mewed.
"Oh great. That is just great. Go check then," Zetsu growled. She walked next to the Asian American's face and bent down next his nose. His breathing was a bit faint, but steady as if he was asleep.
"He is still alive!" she yowled. Pein nodded and jerked his head towards the human as his eyelids fluttered.
"Wait, keep yelling like that! He appears to be coming to!" Pein ordered. Konan nodded and began to caterwaul and cry right next to Nekki's head. He groaned, mumbled something, but did not wake.
"You sounded very whiny. Does she do this sort of thing with you, Pein-sama?" Itachi commented. The orange and cream kitten juts gave him a stern look to show that he has said enough.
"Well, that didn't work. Try swatting his face, claws sheathed please," Zetsu sighed.
"Thank you for your help. If you want, you can go keep an eye on the others now. We understand what we can do here," Pein mewed. The plant cat stared surprised at his leader, but decided not to argue and walked toward the sound of thumps and crashes. The orange and cream cat watched him go, and then he turned his head back to the remaining kittens. Just as Zetsu was leaving, Deidara trotted into the room.
"Hey everybody. Do you know how to reach the drawers and open them?" the spotted kitten asked.
"You pull at them. Why?" Zetsu replied.
"No reason," the blue-eyed kitten shrugged. The black, white, and green cat gave a suspicious glance at the other feline before heading into the hallway. Deidara in the meantime was clambering onto the shelf doors trying to reach a high drawer. He managed to pull it open by hooking his claws into the wood and pushing back with his hind legs. With a meow of triumph, he climbed into the cupboard. The spotted kitten's head reappeared a few seconds later with a rubber band in his mouth. Deidara was pulling a box out of the shelf with the band and got a footing on the edge of the drawer door. Unfortunately, he lost his footing and fell onto the linoleum with the box. The blond and spotted kitten then proceeded to pull his prize down the hall. Pein, Konan, Itachi, and Kakuzu watched him go with strange expressions, and then turned their heads back to each other.
"We have a good idea of what we are doing now. First we give him a couple swats. If that doesn't work, should we use harsher methods?" Pein suggested as if Deidara never came into the room and made such a ruckus.
"I don't think we'll have much of a choice with our size and ability," Itachi replied. "We'll have to scratch and bite sometime. It's not like we have choice."
"HEY! WAKE UP AND SPEND MONEY ON US!" Kakuzu hissed. In his rage, he charged Nekki's face and smacked his nose. The tan tabby then scratched their owner's eye.
"KEEEEYAAAAAH!" Nekki screamed as his eyes flew open.
"Well, that worked," Konan mewed.
"Hey, you guys. How long was I out?" the Asian American groaned. He raised his hand to his face and saw blood on his fingers. Everything suddenly appeared scarlet and smelled of cold steel.
"Did you scratch me to wake me up? Brilliant plan if I do say so myself!" Nekki chirped. "But, where are the others?" As if to respond to the question a loud crash was heard and a few meows of alarm.
"What are those idiots doing?' Itachi sighed. A cloud of smoke began billowing from down the hallway. Everyone's eyes widened in alarm as flames began to lick at the walls and carpet. In sheer terror, five somewhat scorched kittens streaked out of the heart of the fire and hid behind Nekki.
"You guys are crazy! How did you manage to set my house on fire?" their owner shrieked. He quickly scooped up the disheveled felines and dashed out of the house.
"Stay here and don't follow me!" he commanded. After setting the kittens down, he ran back into the burning house and was immediately swallowed into the inferno.
"What is you problem? What the heck were you f***ing doing in there?" Kakuzu spat.
"Just lighting some candles and stuff, un," Deidara replied.
"Until a certain annoying ball of s*** decided to f***ing bother us," Hidan hissed jerking his head towards Tobi who seemed to have an interest in the grass.
"Tobi said he was sorry," the black and orange kitten mewled. He forlornly looked at his paws.
"It doesn't matter now. We just need to think of something that could help Nekki," Pein ordered.
"But what can we do? He did say not to follow him," Sasori replied.
"We could get help," Kisame offered.
"You are just full of good ideas today," Konan remarked. The shark-like cat blushed.
"I think we should make as much noise as possible to get people's attention," he added.
"Okay, we need to split up to cover more ground and tell more people. Go in your usual team of two," Pein mewed sharply. The Akatsuki nodded their heads and slipped through the fence with ease, and then took off in different directions each yowling as loud as they could. People on the sidewalks took notice to the strange cats and allowed themselves to be led to the crackling house. The onlookers whipped out their cell-phones and called 911, and asked for them to send a fire truck and an ambulance. The Akatsuki rejoined each other and waited anxiously for the authorities to arrive as the fire hungrily devoured their home.