Story: ROFL Kingdom Hearts!
Notes: No plot line. Random updates. Enjoy!
MKL: You know what?
Ararik: -boredly- What?
MKL: Let's kick it right into the main story!
Ararik: -arches eyebrow slowly- Uh...why exactly is that, again?
MKL: -snickers- Because I have an idea that will not only be funny, but get Sakuya out of our hair...
Ararik: -perks up and smirks- Huh...fill me in.
-
"Hey, Sakuya!" MKL shouted excitedly. There was a pause before a portal of sparkling pink energy (MKL: Ugh, pink...it's my kryptonite, y'know...-X.X-) opened up and Sakuya literally bounced out, glomping Ararik.
"Let go!" Ararik growled, shoving at her. She ignored him and grinned at MKL.
"Somethin' wrong, MKL-sama?" she questioned perkily. "Ya told me ta go on vacation, didn't you?"
"Yeah, but we need your help," MKL said seriously. Sakuya blinked and let go of Ararik, leaning forward slightly and clasping her hands behind her back as she tilted her head.
"What is it? Why can't Ararik-kun help?"
"I hope you mean Ararik-SAN," Ararik muttered. Sakuya ignored him. Again.
"Because YOU'RE the only one with the ability to pull it off," MKL said easily. Sakuya tilted her head to the other side and MKL continued. "We're gunna need someone down there to...stir things up a little. I want someone random, but since I'm stuck up here writing, and I need at least one muse..."
Sakuya squeeled happily and jumped over to grab MKL in a huge hug.
"Thankies, MKL-sama!" she shouted excitedly. MKL forced Sakuya to let go and sent her stumbling back so she was next to Ararik, the goddess raising her finger pointedly.
"Before you go, there is something you need to know," she said seriously. Sakuya became obidiently silent and MKL continued. "Since the little memory-erase thing, Demyx's been pretty aware of any comments we make that don't have to do with the...situation. So please, PLEASE be careful not to let him know it's you! Our whole operation will probably be ruined!!!"
Sakuya nodded seriously, then gave a huge grin. "When do I leave?!"
MKL and Ararik exchanged smirks.
"Right..." Ararik started.
MKL finished, throwing up her hands and knocking Sakuya in the jaw hard enough to knock her out. "...now!"
And Sakuya knew no more...for a while, at least.
"You do know she's going to blow our cover," Ararik said blandly. MKL smirked and nodded.
"Yeah...I know."
-
AT CASTLE OBLIVION, ON THE BALCONY OF DEMYX'S ROOM...
"Man, it's been so boring since that concert," Demyx groaned, making a face as he leaned against the railing. "And no one wants to do ANYTHING!!! Dude, at least before we had Marluxia to stir things up, but he's been avoiding us since the whole Xigbar thing. Somethin' about 'enough wounds to last a lifetime' and wanting to 'keep all of his limbs'. I don't get it, but..."
He groaned and dropped his head. "Not cool!" he groaned as ANOTHER bout of talking hit his mind. This one was something to the effect of, 'We're gunna need someone...stir things up...random, but I'm stuck here...'. The whole thing was happening more and more often, and Goddammit, Demyx was getting SICK of it!!!
"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!" something suddenly screeched, sending Demyx out of his reveree. He jumped and yelped, watching with wide eyes as a black a silver bullet-thing went flying down from the sky like a meteor, landing hard enough on the streets of the city below to create a huge crator in at least three different buildings.
Demyx jumped back in surprise, eyes wide. "Ahhh!"
"What the fuck?!?!" someone from the hallway screeched. Demyx quickly identified it as Larxene.
"What the hell was that?!?!" Axel demanded just as loudly.
"I'm not sure," Zexion said, even his voice a bit ruffled.
"Let's go check it out," Roxas volenteered. There was a group pounding as everyone rushed down the stairs, but Demyx simply created a portal.
Rules be damned, he was going to be the first one on the scene for once in his life!!!
-
The scene of the 'accident'...wasn't really as bad as expected. Mostly it was a crator that was a good half-mile wide, and right in the middle was...
"Kitty!" Axel squeeled, smiling brightly. A few people stared and he cleared his throat, making a face. "Er, uh, I meant to say...what the hell?! There's a cat in that crator!"
Sure enough, there was--a beautiful cream-colored cat with black-tipped ears and tails (two, to be exact), with black also under the eyes and on its feet. A puffy 'mane' of fur just a touch darker than the rest surrounded its neck, and it was curled up as if asleep, its eyes closed as its small chest rose and fell steadily.
"Awww, it's so cute!" Naminé cooed, looking like she wanted to jump in. Which she almost did--until Zexion grabbed the back of her dress, at least, which resulted in one of the hugest pouts in the history of Naminé pouts. And that was saying something.
"Okay, so, should we go down there and get it?" Axel asked with a confused look, obviously recovered from his little 'kitty' episode...well...if it was long enough to be called an 'episode', that is.
Demyx shuddered as words that once more weren't his echoed through his head (MKL: Dammit, gotta stop doing that!!!).
"Someone should go down and get it," Larxene suggested. In case you were wondering, the rest of the occupants of the castle had hangovers and couldn't be there to join our little group. Um...yay?
"I vollenteer...Demyx," Zexion deadpanned. There was a collective grin as Demyx sweatdropped.
"M-me?!" he squeeked. "It could be radioactive!"
"And?"
"I could DIE!"
"...and?"
"AND I DON'T WANNA DIIIIIIIIEEE!!!!"
"Too bad!" Larxene chirped with WAY too much enthusiasm. She shoved Demyx's back and he let out a squawk/shout as he went slidding down the hole, ending up on his knees next to the two-tailed cat.
"Man, they are sending the wrong guy for this," he muttered, sitting up before gazing curiously at the cat. He hesitated before summoning his Sitar and gently poking the cat with the tip.
It twitched.
He squeeled.
The onlookers sweatdropped.
"Demyx, you big chicken," Roxas couldn't help but mutter.
"I'm not a chicken," was the automatic response before Demyx slowly inched forward again. He poked the cat once more and it gave a yawning-meow, showing off rather large fangs. Demyx swallowed before poking it once more.
"MROOOOOOOOOWWWW!!!" the cat screeched, jumping to its feet as its hackles raised and its fur stood on end. It lashed out with its paw in Demyx's direction and the Melodious Nocturne yelped and hopped back, shaking with slight fear.
Now when Sakuya was so rudely awoken by some idiot that decided poking her would be good for his health, she had immidiately shouted out 'Pervert!' and tried to slap him. When she landed on all fours like she usually did, she blinked slowly and looked around, confused beyond beleif. Then she groaned.
Dammit, she was in her kitty-kat form!!!
Okay, for this to make sense, you need a bit of background on Sakuya herself.
Sakuya is a neko goddess. A neko, a fire-cat with two tails, is a creature of Japanese legend. Neko have powers ranging from basic fire spells to being able to change form for breif periods of time, and they don't grow their second tail until they come of age, which normally takes five hundred to seven hundred years. Neko are the only demons that are so capable of bonding to a human that they have to re-produce twice a year to keep their numbers up. Neko also don't get much bigger than a kitten and can live for as long as the human/god/goddess they bond with, unless some restless human or demon gets a hold of them and decides they want their pelts. (Btw, said pelts sell highly on the Demon Black Market.)
A neko goddess, however, are special. They can live forever if they are careful and aren't caught up in a love with a human, and they can take a human-like form. Human-LIKE because they can't help but keep some of the demonic features of their relatives, such as their ears and tail(s). Their powers are amplified a hundred fold, but so are their few weaknesses, which include being soaked completely in water (even missing one hair would leave them with their full powers, so you must be careful while doing this; for gods/goddesses, however, they can have whole limbs dry and still end up powerless) and their love of food (a neko god/goddess can eat someone out of house and home within a week if in their god/goddess forms and can easily starve to near-death if they aren't kept well-fed).
(MKL: I made this up. However, if you have any questions, you can contact me and I'll put whatever you ask into this little eplination. Sorry for the lengthyness, but there's so much information I have! -groans- And the real parts are so CONFUSING when put in contex with my thoughts/theories that I had to read over this eight times before posting. Okay, now enough ranting. Let us continue...)
"Oooooooo, I'm going to KILL MKL-sama!" Sakuya growled, mentally cursing to herself. Of course, the Nobodys heard: "Hissssssssssssssssssssss!"
"Is it okay?" Naminé asked with obvious concern.
"Demyx, be ready to kill it if it attacks!" Roxas called in encouragement. Demyx didn't respond as he leaned forward, eyes wide. He ended up on his hands and knees next to the two-tail, shaking like a leaf.
"Did I just hear you talk?" he whispered under his breath, keeping too quiet for the others to hear. Sakuya blinked up at him, and spoke using her posture, not her kitty-voice. It was so much easier for her.
"Depends," she admitted. "Did you just hear me saying I was going to kill my cousin?"
Demyx yelped and jumped, landing heavily on his knee and wincing. Sakuya wondered for a breif moment what was going on until something felt wrong. MKL's serious face flashed through her head, looking oddly stern.
"Since the little memory-erase thing, Demyx's been pretty aware of any comments we make that don't have to do with the...situation. So please, PLEASE be careful not to let him know it's you! Our whole operation will probably be ruined!!!"
"I mean, you didn't hear me at all!" Sakuya yelped, giving a soft 'meow!' and jumping to her feet from her sitting position. Her eyes were wild with fear and she was ready to run if necissary. "You're imagining things! This whoooooooooole conversation's just a huge figment of your imagination!!! Uh...meow?"
Demyx couldn't help but sweatdrop. "That wasn't convincing," he muttered under his breath. Sakuya's ears pushed back against her head and she gave a soft 'mrow' of dismay, causing Demyx to force a happy 'mood' into his expression and stance. "But hey, I won't tell anyone! They'd probably think I was insane, anyway..."
"Demyx, what's wrong?" Roxas asked with concern. Demyx winced and glanced at the neko-goddess, who shrugged.
"You should probably pick me up," she said easily. When he didn't move to do so, she rolled her eyes (which were blood-red around the blue irises) and hopped up onto his shoulder in an easy bound. Again, Demyx yelped and stumbled back, even as she began to purr. Her voice was icy despite her apparent content. "Play dumb, idiot! If they find out, we're BOTH toast, and the whole universe might be, too!!!"
Demyx snapped out of it and sighed with frustration, standing up and running his hand--scared from playing the Sitar so often--through his mullhawk. "Why does this always happen to me?" he muttered, turning around and summoning a portal instead of climbing up the steep walls of the crator.
Sakuya rolled her eyes as they appeared before the group above them. "Tell me about it..."
-
"She blew it pretty quick, even for her," Ararik noted with a smirk. MKL nodded absently, gazing down on her little universe and scanning through it. Sora hadn't even gotten to Castle Oblivion yet, but he would be there soon enough. And that would just suck for her, wouldn't it?
"Yeah, but hey, she tried to correct it," the goddess stated pointedly before twirling a small white ball before her. Sora, Donald, and Goofy were immidiately trapped in a state of suspended animation as she gave a bright smile. "There we go! That should give us more time..."
Ararik glanced over her shoulder and arched an eyebrow. "You do know that won't last long, don't you?" he questioned. MKL made a face.
"It'll work for now."
"Ah. Delaying so you can have more fun with your Nobodys?"
"Of course," MKL said, glancing over her shoulder with an arched eyebrow. "Roxas just joined up two months ago, and the plans for rebellion HAVE to be starting to form in Marluxia's head by now. I've managed to keep Xemnas-chan from sending the Oblivion-crew for a little while, but it won't last forever. After all..."
MKL's eyes became misty as she gazed with a distant look at the uncontious silver-haired figure floating limply in the air before her. She continued in a haunted voice; "...the universe must keep spinning...and the people must keep moving...as love and hate continue to spin their eternal web...and Light and Darkness continue to dance...for control of the universe..."
Ararik wisely didn't respond.
-
MKL: ...wow. Managed to sneak in there some pretty deep stuff.
Ararik: -growls- Keep going! No need for a plot, you idiot. You've got five fictional months to get this over with.
MKL: -rolls eyes- ...and in normal time, that could take forever...
Ararik: ...
MKL: Exactly. Moving on!
-
"What the freakin' heck is that?!" Axel demanded to know, staring at the two-tailed, red-eyed cat before him. The cat's fur bristled, but then it sniffed the air and grinned.
"I smell fire," she told Demyx greedily before hopping off of him and landing on Axel's spikey head. He yelped in surprise and tried to duck his head forward to get her out of his hair, but she simply grabbed a lock of said hair. The minute Axel's head straightened, her ears popped up from the mass of messy red hair (followed by the rest of her) and she mewed as cutely as she could.
"I don't know," Demyx said with a grin as the rest of the group snickered/smirked. He mockingly tapped his forhead. "Got it memorized?"
Axel scowled and folded his arms over his chest, but didn't say anything more.
"I beleive it's a neko-demon from the planet of the Bone-Eater's Well," Zexion said pointedly, eyeing the creature with obvious distaste. Sakuya mewed cutely (again). "A fire-cat."
Axel brightened conciderably as Sakuya obidiently summoned a small flame above her head and began batting at it playfully.
"Okay, I DEFINATELY like this little...whazzit called? A 'neko'?" Axel questioned. He shrugged before getting over it and reaching up, grabbing Sakuya.
"Hey, hey--keep your hands OFF the ass!" she said with a loud hiss, swatting at the offending appendage. Axel yelped and dropped her, but she simply flipped and landed on her feet, tilting her head cutely as she gave the softest, most innocent 'purr' ever. "Only Ararik-kun's allowed to touch there."
Naminé and Zexion glanced curiously at Demyx as he struggled (and failed) to contain some trace of his laughter. They were more concerned about the deep, glowing (yes, GLOWING) scratch on Axel's hand, which he clutched in pain as he glared at Sakuya.
"I changed my mind--the cat's gotta go," the fire-user growled.
"Let me see," Naminé offered, holding out her hand. Axel obidiently gave it over and Sakuya blinked, tilting her head to the other side. Axel's was much larger and more calloused while Naminé's was smooth and daintily-small, but they were obviously closer than they first appeared, if the relaxed stance Axel had taken was any indication. Judging by Zexion's face, he felt the same way, but neither said anything.
"It's glowing," Larxene said with a blink, popping up behind Axel and leaning around his arm to get a better look. He glowered at her as Naminé gently touched the wound, causing it to glow more brightly and Axel to let out a hiss of breath.
"I kept the infection to a minimum," Sakuya assured Demyx, giving an impish grin. "The effects won't kick in for a good hour, and he's not going to die from a tiny scratch. Wrap it in a towel soaked in water heated as hot as you can get it and wrap it around his hand--it should help with the pain."
Demyx casted a glance in Axel's direction as he turned around and muttered something about 'going to see Vexen', but nodded.
"Okay, so we're going to keep the cat?" Demyx asked casually. A few glances of curiosity, but no one objected.
"I wanna name it!" Larxene shouted excitedly, jumping up and down. No one had seen her so giddy since she had figured out she could fry anyone who ticked her off.
"Demyx found it," Zexion deadpanned. (Ignored) STARE. "He should name it."
"He's got a point," Naminé added with a bright smile. Roxas had left to follow Axel.
"Okay..." he said slowly, giving a blink. He glanced down at Sakuya and silently asked her her name with his eyes.
"I'm Sakuya," she greeted before flashing her long fangs in a sort of smirk. "Sakuya, the Neko-Goddess!"
-
Demyx had somehow managed to convince Axel to take his advise on treatment before going to Vexen for help (which probably had something to do with the fact that fire and ice do NOT go well together--and that Axel hates needles). And an hour later, Sakuya had led Naminé, Larxene, and Zexion into a curious scene.
"Rar! I'ma LION!!!" Axel shouted triumphantly, grinning as he hopped around in circles. Demyx and Roxas were staring with shock at the redhead, who had grabbed a pot and was banging it as he started a mini-parade around the room.
"The hell?!" Zexion asked with a slightly shocked look. No one bothered to question his choice of words, everyone instead noting that Axel was acting...well, drunk.
"What did you infect him WITH?" Demyx demanded in a soft whisper as Sakuya hopped up onto his shoulder. She gave a impish grin.
"Caffine," she snickered. Demyx sweatdropped before everyone else seemed to make the connection.
"Okay, who gave him caffine?" Larxene demanded, eyes narrowed as she stared at Axel. Sakuya mewed innocently and purred in the same way one might whistle to show their 'innocence' and everyone stared at her.
"The CAT?!" Roxas asked in shock.
"The scratch," Naminé mused.
"Nekos are cappible of messing with the minds of humans," Zexion mused, staring at Sakuya (who had summoned another burst of flame and was innocently batting away at it). "However, this is simply too big for a simple neko to accomplish with a scratch..."
"Mew!" Sakuya mewed with a scowl. She jumped up and marched proudly out of the room with her head held high, Axel blinking before jumping after her like a frog.
"Rar, it'sa lion!" he exclaimed with a laugh, hopping on all fours after her. The rest of the group trailed behind all the way to the library, where Sakuya marched over to the nearest bookshelf and seemed to scan the titles.
"Is that thing READING?" Larxene choaked out, eyes wide in disbeleif.
"Extrodinary," Zexion couldn't help but mutter, staring with calculating eyes at the neko. Sakuya found what she was looking for and gently took it in her teeth, pulling out the book. She carried said book (which was at least eight times as big as she was) over to Larxene and dropped it at her feet.
The lightening-weilder stared in bewilderment and Sakuya gave a soft growl of annoyance before oppening the cover and flipping through the pages with her paw. She stopped about halfway through and pointed with her extended claw at the page with a mew.
"I think she wants us to read it," Demyx stated dumbly. Larxene hesitated before slowly picking up the book, scanning the page. She gasped and quickly shoved it over to Zexion, who blinked and fumbled with it before he got a good grip. He began to read out loud.
"'A neko's powers are complex,'" he began slowly. "'They are not fully known, but amoung those listed are the most-often proved power of fire, limited power over the rest of the elements, strong powers of illusion, powers of space, powers of matter, and limited powers of manipulation. They are mischeivious and known to bond well with humans they like, but one must be weary of a scratch or bite from the demons. Depending on the personality of the neko, a variety of ailments could result, including the changing of one's form, uncontrollable anger, unlimited power, and insanity. Sometimes the effects are temporary, but more often than not, they are permident.'"
SILENCE.
"I likes pie!" Axel shouted randomly before producing a candy-cane from nowhere and sticking it behind his ear like a pencil for later. He smiled like a five-year-old and began quacking like a duck.
And Roxas finally said, "Now the question is: Is it permident?"
-
MKL sighed in annoyance. "Stupid building chapter," she muttered with a glare at the computer screen. "If it weren't for the fact that I trust my readers not to abandon me between this chapter and the next," (cough, cough) "I wouldn't leave it like this."
Ararik stayed silent nearby. "And the lack of funniness!" MKL continued to rant, pulling at her hair with a loud groan. "Zohmehpie, it's almost enough to kill a girl!
"Just hurry and put out the next chapter to keep whatever readers we have left," Ararik deadpanned.
"Fine, fine," MKL grumbled. She turned back to the computer and began typing again, muttering under her breath. "But the next one'd better be good..."