A/N: This is not a "kid's chapter". It's a little bit dark, and a little bit mature.
Birthday's Suck
I wake up, just like any day, to the sound of chirping birds. (They're lucky. They can be themselves. I used to want to be a bird.) Today's my birthday, not that anyone in New Ozai will remember. Mother and Father don't seem interested, they never do, and it's not as if I have any friends. Azula and Ty Lee would have remembered and made a huge show of getting me ice cream, cake and some sort of gift. Until Ty Lee left and Azula demanded I leave, Zuko would have been hiding, finally coming and wishing me a happy birthday at the gates. My gift every year had been a hug until he left because of that damned Agni Kai.
Instead, it's the same boring world as always.
I'm turning 15; I'm a woman now. Normally there would be a big party, but I doubt it will happen. Mother has Tom-Tom now; Father, his responsibilities as governor.
Suddenly, something in me snaps.
I grab a knife from where my collection sits. I look at it, its sharp, steel edge glinting. I contemplate what I'm about to do, and then I do it.
I glide the knife down my arm, just deep enough to draw blood. It stings, but that feeling is gone quickly. I watch the bright red of my blood pooling against the pale white of my arm. I cry, just a bit.
I'm not trying to die, just to feel. I want to feel something, instead of this emptiness that threatens to swallow me.
Oddly enough, as the wound clots and the blood stops, I just feel more numb than I did before.
Please, don't make comments about Mai being 'emo'. The word 'emo' is thrown around and makes it harder on those who have actual issues. Cutting isn't about dying; it's about a release of emotional pain/stress.
If you are struggling with depression or emotional stress, please seek professional help. It does help (I can vouch that it has helped my OCD!)
Sending sunshine your way,
Far From the Home I Love