Title: Permission Ch 8
Main characters: Logan, James, Katie, Kendall
Side characters: Hortence, Blonde Jennifer, Joanna, Tyler (Some are only mentioned)
Warning: Slash Jagan
Summary: (Nothing to be summarized. It's a pretty short chapter after all)
A/N: I've wanted to use this writing style for a while. Hope it's not confusing.
Replies for the Anonymous review in Ch 7:
Anon: God I never ever loved a story as much as this one. Poor Jamie. Yay! Kendall knows Logies alive! Wow my emotions are very bipolar reading this... And I'll try to be a lot more patient..he he bye now!
Fanmin: Aww, you make me blush, Dear! Right, I feel very bad keep hurting Jamie, but the faster I update the faster he heals so here's Ch 8 :) Thank you for reading and reviewing!
"How's your training, Hortence?"
"Great, Dad! I had so much fun helping all the doctors with diagnostic. I need to thank my professor big time. It's truly a worthy experience!"
"Daddy knows you're able to make it, you always make me proud!"
"I'm thinking of applying for a job there, Dad, after I graduate. You let me go?"
"Sure. It's because you find James there, isn't it? You're going to marry?"
"...no. James is here in Minnesota."
"Really? How do you know?"
"I met Katie, Kendall's little sister..."
"Hey, Buddy, how're you feeling?"
"Great..."
"You don't sound great, as always..."
"You know why, don't you Carlos."
"Look who I brought."
"It's not Logan, is it..."
"It's me, James...and Ronald..."
"Sorry, Jennifer."
"It's fine. So, uh, how are you?"
"Could be better."
"James, we came all the way from L.A., sure you at least should look at me while we talk?"
"Right..."
"Better. So do you need anything? Other than Logan, of course."
"...Katie. Is she here?"
"I'll call her. Maybe Kendall met her when he paid for your hospital fee."
"So that was Logan?"
"You heard him. I even saw him."
"How?"
"How what? How I met him? How he was alive? How he never died, it was just our assumption? We never saw him dead, remember? We never went to his burial! We never even knocked at his door and asked Mr. Mitchell where Logan was. I felt really bad assuming one dead just because he lied in comma one day and gone weeks later. Why didn't we think perhaps Logan was being moved to different hospital?"
"...what?"
"Yes! I met him in L.A. just a week ago, he told me everything. He was dying yes but he was cured. He was studying to be a doctor like he always dreamed, in his university, his father never let him see us, not until that accident. I had wanted to tell you immediately, but Logan said maybe it wasn't right to tell everyone the truth. It would need time. I need to know if bringing Logan 'back to life' will bring good things. Especially to James. What if he felt guilty for kissing me around while his Logan had been alive and faithful all this time? Things like than can happen and I dislike it."
"Still, we all want Logan back in our lives! Why didn't he think of Carlos and me?"
"You know James is the most important for him, although he treasures you two too."
"So what now? James got an accident and you made up your mind? You don't need to think of the consequences anymore? Why does an accident have to happen to change one's mind?"
"I decided that I've had it enough. It's time for James to know the truth. It's time to stop living like a zombie, time to stop―"
"Katie! There you are. James is looking for you. Kendall? Why are you here? Have you done paying for the fee?"
"―seeking me because he needs care and attention Logan could no longer give."
"Huh?"
"Nothing. Later, Carlos."
"What is it? Kendall?"
"We'll talk later, Buddy. And yes, I've paid it. Come on, let's go back to James and the others. I haven't greeted your wife properly."
"Greet her properly? You really think you need to? It's Jennifer!"
"Right, right. I just haven't got used to the nicer version of her. Haha, come on!"
"Whom did you talk to, Honey? A Friend?"
"Mom..."
"You're slightly pale. I'll get you a drink then you can talk to me, okay?"
"No. Let's just find Dad so I can tell you both. Katie just phoned me. It's about James..."
"James, let's stop it. Stop kissing me. Because I'm not the one you love."
"..."
"I fell for Tyler. I met him in L.A. and he has become gorgeous. He truly cares for me."
"What? I care for you."
"Used to. But now you seek Logan in me. I hate it."
"You're far different from him."
"Of course. But you kiss me like you would kiss him."
"..."
"Let me ask you one thing. If Logan suddenly came back to life, would you still kiss me? The answer is no."
"The answer is no. Because Logan would never come back to life in the first place so don't condition it and make me hope for the impossible."
"Imagine Logan was a ghost, an invisible ghost, who walked around us everyday. Don't you think he'll be sad to hear you just now?"
"Again, it wouldn't happen. Logan was very kind of a person, too kind even, and he would go straight to heaven when he died."
"Gosh, what should I do to make you admit you love Logan and you don't have feelings for me and you badly want him back in your life?"
"...why would it matter?"
"Nothing. Just so you know you have a reason why you should stop kissing me."
"...alright. Even you push me away from your life."
"I didn't say that."
"You know you're practically one of the reasons why I haven't killed myself."
"Don't say that!"
"If I committed suicide... Carlos obviously doesn't need me. He will cry but he has a family to live for. Kendall will cry, but soon he will find a girl to love and forget me. I need someone who will cry over my death like I do over Logan's. I know I'm psychotic here, but it's practically why I kiss you in the first place."
"I... I really...I can't believe you. You kiss me to hurt me? To make me feel your pain?"
"But I care for you, Katie. I no longer want to die. And I no longer want you to feel my pain. Really."
"But seriously. Answer my questions. If Logan appeared in front of you now, you'd dump me right away and came back for him, right?"
"Why are you so happy about it? Aren't you supposed to be sad because I'm going to say yes?"
"No. Told you, I kind of fell for Tyler. So it's a deal, earlier was the last kiss we shared."
"But Logan's not coming back to live. Are you telling me that I should just go kill myself now because I don't have you anymore?"
"NO! Don't kill yourself! If you do, I will feel the pain just as much, really really!"
"I don't understand..."
"Don't need to now. But, hey, actually I'm happy. This is the longest conversation we've ever that since then."
"Right..."
"And you smile. Best day of my life!"
"Thanks, Katie, for putting up with me."
"You're welcome."
"One more last kiss, please? You've really become beautiful."
"Hh, okay. One last kiss, because this time, you do want to kiss me. Not Logan."
"Deal."
"So James is dying?"
"Not as horrible as I had ever been, but Katie said he might lose his will to live. Maybe...I need to be there after all."
"Hortence, we know you know what's best for you and for everyone. If you think that's for the best, just go, and show up. We want you to be happy. I'm really really sorry for what I've done..."
"Don't be, Dad. If it weren't for you, I might not even study and become a doctor at all."
"But I tore your happiness away..."
"Hey Dad I am happy. Can be happier, but I'm happy now. If James and I got married that day, I would be happy too, but I lost you and my childhood dream. Every choice had its consequences, okay? Now I'm going to show up... I'll just wait until Katie told me to."
"You've matured a lot... Seems like just yesterday I gave birth of you..."
"Haha, I'm twenty six now, Mom."
"I know. But forever, you're my baby boy, Logan."
"His name is Hortence, Joanna."
"Right, right, Hortence."
"Hahaha, stop it you two. I could care less about my name now!"
"You recorded it? Oh my God, Katie, you're really... something."
"You know it's difficult! I almost gave up halfway and I was so close to turn it off. James was really stubborn."
"So you kiss him again."
"One last kiss, Logan, I swear! You heard him clearly, he'd dump me right away if you appeared in front of him!"
"Kidding. I'm not mad at all. I'm grateful instead, very very grateful. And sorry. You had to lie that you fell for Tyler. You help me eventhough you yourself love James."
"The first part is half true. I'm not sure if I have fallen for him but I want to. Tyler's really great. I want to love him and I think it's a matter of time. But the second part is wrong. My feelings for him aren't the same with yours. What you felt is clearly love. But mine... James is always a big brother to me. All this time, I only feel needed. Because if I'm there for him, he can smile at the very least, though sometimes fake. Now I'm helping you, because I want James to completely smile again, sincerely from his heart. Because the only person he should kiss is you, never me."
"Thank you, Katie. Really, I thank you very much.
"You're welcome. So, we go to the hospital now?"
"Now?"
"When else? You want to wait until James kills himself?"
"Of course not! But shouldn't we explain few things to him first? It'll be very shocking to suddenly see me coming there. I mean, what if James thought I was a ghost and threw a knife at me?"
"Hey, James loves you! Why would he throw a knife to your ghost?"
"Surprised people can do anything."
"Maybe you should be a psychiatrist after all."
"Seriously, Katie. Explain to him first and see if he can handle that."
"Fine. But you still come there and wait outside the room. You can talk to Carlos and Jennifer while Kendall and I talk to James."
"Okay."
-End of Chapter 8-
A/N: It's supposed to have another scene, but apparently it's hard to write quotes only like this. I gave up and decided to cut it here and put the rest into Ch 9, my bad. And thank you for anyone who's been reading up till here! Reviews are always highly appreciated!