Chapter 8

"Lost in Translation"

A/N: A note on my methodology and writing style.

I chiefly release on a weekly basis, but for every chapter I do, I'm working two chapters ahead. This acts as a buffer in case I miss finishing a chapter on the weekend or am busy. It also allows me to edit my work (No beta -,-. ) and check for grammatical errors.

My writing tends to remain fairly static, though I'm not above introducing tropes or ideas I like from other fanfictions, or anything I come up with. I'm a bit of a comma-phile, and have difficulty keeping my writing from being to ornate. I'm trying to find an answer to this. Course I could just not write at all but you'd kill me.

Story time.

There was nothing wrong with Butler's reaction. That was what Artemis told himself while he was being jostled around in the cabin of the shuttle. It was perfectly acceptable to be thrown bodily into an aircraft when under fire. But this still didn't ease the pain every time his back slammed into a wall, or when Dylan's unconscious form struck him.

The plasma rocket had barely missed the fairy shuttle. It had exploded nearly on top of Dylan but, miraculously, Dylan had only been knocked out. Butler had reacted as any self-respecting Butler did when their charge was endangered. He got him out of harm's way. This meant being tossed into an aircraft, but it was an acceptable compromise to death. Then Butler did what any self-respecting Butler would have disowned him for. He went to save Dylan. The boy was only unconscious, if you could believe it. So Butler threw him into the shuttle and, coincidentally, onto to Artemis.

Juliet had already strapped in when Artemis landed on the floor in front of her. She smirked as Dylan landed on Artemis. "I've been meaning to talk to this one Arty. If we have the time…"

"Holly, we have to launch immediately. Whoever is firing those rockets isn't going to miss again." Butler climbed into the cabin, and Holly, not waiting for a word of it, opened the throttle wide. The usual slow ascent was replaced with a four G climb. Artemis had be trying to stand up and crumbled to the floor, his body suddenly weighing five hundred pounds. Juliet gripped the straps of her seat and waited for the acceleration to wear off. Butler pressed his hand into the roof of the cabin, trying to steady himself lest he roll around like an oversized bowling ball. Dylan snored on, oblivious to the peril.

Holly saw the cluster of rockets before the sensors registered them. Twisting the controls in her hands the shuttle pitched left, then up. Artemis and Dylan came off the floor. This was enough to wake the soldier up.

"What's going on mate?" Dylan muttered stupidly before realizing where he was. Holly twisted the control sticks again and a missile that was trying to ram itself up the shuttlecrafts exhaust pipe missed by inches, shooting passed a window. It detonated ahead of them a moment later, forcing Holly to roll or risk plunging though a cloud of shrapnel. Artemis and Dylan were glued to a seat by the G forces. Artemis took the chance to wrap his arms over Dylan and through the seat straps that lay beneath him. For a second, Artemis mused that if he was protecting Holly and not Dylan, then the gesture and position might have been more... enjoyable. Thoughts of Holly though, turned to thoughts of the Atlantis complex. The situation was perfectly acceptable for him to go raving mad, so where was Orion?

"Do you want me to be there?" Orion's sarcasm drew Artemis's thoughts inward. He sounded exhausted.

"The proximately of the Rip is messing with our bodies and minds. It's trying to reset us to an earlier period in our physical history. A period in which I do not exist, unfortunately." Artemis was intrigued that the time tunnel could produce such effects, but was worried that he would lose important memories if he let them go.

"Scared that your lose me? I never knew you cared so much." Orion clapped ironically and shed an allegorical tear. Artemis decided that there were something's he could live without.

Holly rolled again, Artemis pressing hard into Dylan. The boy's eye widened, though Artemis assumed that lack of oxygen was to blame.

Ignorance!

Artemis looked out the window left of him long enough to discern a blue glowing shape appearing from nowhere and racing in the hypothetical direction of the entrance to the time tunnel. "Holly, our pursuers are attacking the portal." Holly brought every drop of experience she had and twisted the ship towards the portal. The missile moving for the portal barely faltered as Holly danced the shuttle around the two dozen plasma rockets homing in on her. Artemis lost his grip and he and Dylan slapped across the cabin.

Holly drew level with the missile and twisted a camera to face it. The ship steadied enough for Artemis to stand and look out a porthole below him. It just so happened that the hole faced the missile.

Opal Koboi, pixyish and beautiful, looked into the shuttle and spoke. Artemis couldn't hear her, but he could read lips, which brought the meaning of the words to clarity.

"Artemis fowl prepare to die!"

Holly yanked hard on the controls. The shuttle bore off as Opal vanished into the blue abyss. The rockets weren't coming after them anymore. Holly was about to put them down when comm chatter alerted her to the approaching armada of fairycraft. The shuttle landed with practiced ease. Holly turned to Artemis and said-

"So that's whose ass we're kicking."

…

Dylan sat in his bed, glaring at the card. "A Huxley."

"Please describe it."

"A sort of jelly fish that flies."

"Ah. And this?"

"A message lizard."

"A lizard that delivers messages?"

"It speaks 'em."

Artemis placed the remaining Rorschach cards away disappointed. It seemed that the vocabulary of the two dimensions was simply too distant to be of much understanding without some sort of primer. Dylan Sharp had been unable to provide such prompt, so Artemis was going in blind. But he liked a challenge, and Dylan was an interesting boy.

"Okay," Artemis said, running the sums though his head "You seem to have Electra complex, Gender dysphoria and general psychosis."

"Okay" Dylan nodded in a manner and tone that seemed to suggest that he knew what Artemis was talking about. But his body language contradicted it. Artemis had to admire him for this, even though the idea that Dylan could lie convincingly was absurd. He could only assume Dylan came from a wealthy soldiering family. How else had a fifteen year old boy manage to enter the air force discretely?

Artemis smiled irrationally. One way or the other, Dylan was an interesting boy. He certainly wanted to be in the air-force. Of course, the Electra complex and psychosis pointed to the conclusion that he had joined up in memory of his father, whom Artemis gathered had died in combat. That didn't explain the gender dysphoria, but it probably came from the idea that being male (somehow) had been what killed his father. Stepping out of the room, Artemis slipped into the control cabin. Commander Kelp was sitting in his chair.

"Well what can we expect on the other side of that thing Fowl? Your reputation is on the line here."

Artemis rolled his eyes. "A thing, Commander, is that seriously all you can think of. And if my reputation is on the line, then certainly the whole of the fate of the People is as well." Artemis sat in the pilot's chair. "The portal seems to have a war on the other side. It certainly would be safe to enter now, but the situation may change rapidly. According to the scripts, we'll need a warlock on the other side to attempt passage safely."

Commander Kelp nodded in understanding, but secretly figured that Artemis had gone off the deep end. He seemed to worship the text's he had found. It was worst then when he had been trapped in police plaza, surrounded by hysterical civvies, goblins trying to beat down the door. Then he had known who to fight the enemy, but now… Trouble Kelp did not back down from a fight, but trying to reason with someone to whom reason was relevant to time of day was unsettling.

Artemis opened a screen on his laptop. A moment later, several screens filled with the eager faces of fairies. Foaly and Qwan took priority within the pack, and so got the largest screens. Foaly tapped at his impatiently. "We're ready mud boy. If you would kindly begin?"

Artemis didn't waste any time bringing the fairies council subcommittee up to speed. "The portal seems to rely on a system of psychological control. It will open with ease and allow passage to different dimensions if the necessary energy level, e.g. magic, is present. It's very similar to the time tunnel, though works on a principle to move matter and energy laterally in the fourth dimension instead of vertically. Any warlock with the necessary training will survive the entry."

Qwan pondered this for several seconds before posing the question; "Then how did a human arrive here?"

Artemis shrugged. "Amazing luck would seem the simplest answer. But I don't believe in luck so I'm assuming that Dylan Sharp, the human in question, wanted someone to help him rather badly. And because we can help him, he came here."

Commander Kelp slapped his forehead. "So he came here because of our charity. And I thought you were the biggest problem of the Families." Commander Kelp leaned forward, intent. "So can we ascertain that the humans won't try to cross over again? Or that they won't threaten us?"

Artemis shook his head. "The portal is positioned directly over the Russian front of humanities First World War. If either side found the passage then the balance of power would shift dramatically. It could end the First World War prematurely, saving millions of lives. Or…"

"Or…" groaned Foaly.

"Perpetuate it for eons. A war, that almost literally never ends." Artemis clapped his hands once. "This is where we come in. It is imperative we prevent them from learning of the Rips existence, and close their side immediately. If we send a powerful Warlock over, such as N`1, then they could set a delay and return from the other side before anyone notices. Neither faction is the wiser and we end up with an amusing cosmic anomaly to study."

Qwan stroked his chin, turning the plan over in his head. "Amusing is not a word I would use to describe a hole in the fabric of space. But can we see this human that came through. His world sounds fascinating."

"If he wants to meet you", replied Artemis. Dylan was still in his bed when Artemis came to get him.

"You goanna let me go, boy?" Dylan stood up, looking cross. Artemis assumed that Dylan had accepted that fairies existed during the chase towards the Rip. I made sense that he would only do so in an extreme environment. He was a soldier after all.

"We need to debrief you Dylan. We need- "

"So I just do this and I'm home free?" Dylan's eyes shined with apprehension. Artemis realized just how much Dylan wanted to get home.

"Just this" Artemis assured. Dylan popped up from his bed and was already out the door. Artemis rolled his eyes, even though no one could see.

…

N`1 calmly glanced over the astral charts. "The quasi-temporal flux force is all wrong. We'll end up overshooting by a century if the computers can't give us a clear reading on star location."

Qwan was holding a second chart, absentmindedly glancing at other star charts that hovered around him. "Try turning it upside down. Worked for me." N`1 took the map and flipped it over, chuckling when the fields matched up again. Being able to acknowledge ones successes and build confidence was a skill that most warlocks spent years trying to develop. N`1 had had the knack for learning new skills, but he could find joy in any situation, if only after he had been kidnapped by psychotic humans and nearly eviscerated by murderous demons. Forgiving one's enemies was also a skill that few warlocks mastered in their lifetimes, but N`1 could do it like a pro.

"Do you think that this dimension will be hard to enter, Qwan?"

A chuckling noise was as good an answer as N`1 needed. Qwan knew that entering a new dimension would be tricky business, but seemed to be rather laid back over the whole matter. This only made the whole situation even more hilarious.

"If dimensional travel was ever easy, then I'd moved to the nearest dimensions that's all beaches. You'll be performing a feat that has never been attempted before. You will probably get a talk show all to yourself after all this."

N`1 wanted to say that he would only probably get a talk show, because the dimension jump would only probably work, when the rest of Qwan's statement registered. "What do you mean; I will be preforming a feat? Where will you be?"

Qwan smiled sheepishly, and a little sadly as well. N`1 could feel the sense of pride and accomplishment, along with sorrow and a bit of fear, radiating off of his teacher. 'I've surpassed him' N`1 realized with stark fear. 'There's nothing for him to teach me anymore.' "You've always been a good student N`1. I'll be proud to see you off."

…

These parting words ran through N`1's head as he waited in the shuttle. The shuttle itself hummed with energy, ready for takeoff. Once the Dylan had arrived he would have to take them through the tunnel and set the delay spell to collapse the opening on the other end and return.

Easy.

But N`1 had never done something like this before. He could get them trapped in limbo again, or turned into quantum zombies, or left as irradiated corpses. There where billions of ways the whole gamble could go wrong, and if anything happened to the pilot or Dylan then it would be on his head. Assuming he had a head after this. Qwan had his faith in N`1, but he couldn't help but wonder if Qwan had misplaced it.

N`1 just hoped that he didn't mess up too much.

A rapping on the door frame brought N`1 out of his stupor. Dylan stood in the passage, smirking.

"So you're a demon. You don't look like much." Dylan tilted his head.

N`1 chuckled quietly. "I don't do I. You probably don't think that I can bring us into and out of the portal, do you?"

Dylan sat down. "No, you don't look like you could do that for a spider. But we have to hope for the barking best, don't we."

N`1 brought his palm up, a few sparks of magic flickering from it. "Hope; confidence, optimism, self-assurance. Yes, I guess that's all we can do" Looking from his palm to Dylan. The boy edged a little from the flying sparks.

"You don't like magic?" N`1 shouldn't have asked, but he was curious.

Dylan shook his head. "Not magic, just fire. I… um… well, I don't like it at all, let's just leave it there."

N`1 curled his hand into a fist squelching the sparks in it. "If you say so Dylan." Dylan twitched at the name.

"Please… just call me Mister Sharp, N`1. Military formalities and all that clart."

"Um yes, clart. Dylan if you can keep a secret…"

Sigh. "Anything demon."

N`1 looked at his feet. "Do you really think that we can do this? Get you back to your dimension, I mean."

Dylan smiled, a simple gesture that held a great deal of sincerity. "Of course. We wouldn't be here if you thought you couldn't pull use though."

The two sat silently for a moment. Then…

The com crackled. "Prepare for takeoff."

A/N: Short, compared to everything else. Don't worry about the next chapter. This is the part where things get cool. I'm also considering a profile pic. Can't choose between ponies or Deryn. Ponies. Deryn. Ponies. Deryn. Ponies! Deryn!

And with Christmas coming along, I have a treat for you, the reader. I'll release a drabble (maybe two) and a chapter.