Sara - Half of my Heart's got a grip on the situation

The thud of the door woke her from her groggy drink fuelled sleep. It echoed through her brain thumping through her skull like a bouncy ball in a confined space. She rubbed her head and screwed her eyes up, struggling for a moment to recall the night before until the lump of bedding beside her let out a low groan. She almost fell right out of the bed and had to physically restrain herself from screaming.

Suddenly it all came flooding back to her. The crime scene, the shoe, her argument with Grissom and her idiotic drunken self, tearing Robert from the bar and to her bedroom.

"Sara? Please answer the door Sara. I… I want to apologise"

She grabbed the obligatory digital alarm clock perched on the bedside cabinet. It blinked an unwelcome 5am. Grissom was at her door at 5am to apologise. That could only mean one thing; his conscience had been tormenting him all night. Carefully she slipped out of the bed, running a hand through her hair and trying to shake off the horrible headache threatening behind her eyes. An unwelcome reminder of the ample amount of cocktails she had consumed last night.

"Sara?"

"I'll… I'll be right there!" she tried her very best perky voice but it cracked and faded in her dry throat. She half walked and half stumbled to the door opening it wide and relishing the surprised expression on Grissom's face as he took in her current choice of nightwear. Panties and a vest may not have been the best choice of attire at the time but her thoughts had been focussed on not looking like a drunk and his reaction had been priceless. She closed the door halfway over, stepping behind it slightly as though it was some kind of a shield.

"Grissom, its 5am…"

"I know. I… I didn't like the way we left things last night. I behaved..." he was caught short, his eyes drawn to movement in the room. She didn't even have to turn around, she pressed her eyes closed and wondered just what she had done in her past life to deserve such terrible luck in this one. Technically he should have known he was there, as should she, but judging by the anger she saw flash in his eyes he had forgotten about their earlier argument as much as she had.

Robert had chosen the opportune moment to stroll around the room in nothing but his boxer shorts, Grissom spotted him immediately and didn't utter another word to her. She had blown it, probably forever and all because she was a stubborn, defiant and angry woman. All because she couldn't have him.

Grissom quickly turned on his heel and marched back along the corridor, she tried to call after him. Tried to explain but he was muttering to himself and shaking his head. Drunken Sara had tried to hurt him but she didn't count on hurting herself in the process. She may have just thrown away the one glimmer of a chance she may have had with him. For what? A drunken fumble with a relative stranger. She couldn't even remember what went on last night, her last tangible memory was chatting to the barman about his fancy wine glasses.

"Who was at the door at this time?" Robert asked from the bed, she really didn't want to have to turn around and see him. At one point she would admit to having been attracted to him now, now he symbolised yet another regret, another stupid decision.

"Uh… you should go Rob…. I don't want to get you in any trouble"

He was pulling his pants on she could hear the movement around the room. She stayed clutching onto the door for support not daring to make eye contact in case he saw her shame, saw how dirty she felt.

"Trouble? What's going on? Why would I get in trouble?"

Now fully dressed he moved toward her, she felt her entire body tense, her heart rate quickened, her breathing sped up and a hot flush washed over her. Still she clutched onto the door as though it was holding her up, that could be true of course. If she let go she might crumble into a heap on the floor, she just couldn't take that risk.

Rob cupped her face in his hands, his expression softened when he saw the unshed tears she had been gallantly fighting. His thumb gently drew over her soft cheek. She had used him, she knew it, he knew it even Grissom and Nick probably knew it. She felt disgusted and ashamed, how had her self-esteem ever gotten so low that she would do this?

He didn't say anything, with a single look he understood. Just one look and he knew where the urgency had come from; he knew why he was being ushered out of her room at 5am. It didn't need to be spoken. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, his face lingering beside her for a few long seconds. His breath whispering in her ear, making her heart race.

"We didn't do anything Sara. I hope he knows how lucky he is…"

And with that he was gone, off along the corridor with his jacket slung over his shoulder. She practically deflated when the elevator closed on him. He had handed her a lifeline as he walked away from her. She might actually be able to claw back some respect from Grissom. That however would have to wait. Right now the only thing she needed was pain killers and some sleep.

A tumultuous sleep followed by a scalding hot shower and she still didn't feel clean. She stared at herself in the mirror. Her pale complexion and pasty skin only serving to accentuate the dark rings under her eyes. She ruffled her hair in an attempt to illicit some soft curls, sighing when her hair fell limp and lifeless by her face instead. It didn't matter anyway, he still wouldn't see her. She tied her hair back in a ponytail and slung a jacket over her shoulders. As long as she looked semi alive she was happy.

She sauntered into the police station trying to hold her head high despite every fibre in her body begging her to stare directly into her coffee and avoid all eye contact. Haslow grinned at her from his desk; he clearly had inside information as he winked at her and almost tipped his chair over. Everything about him repulsed her. She smiled and tilted her coffee cup in his direction as she moved towards the briefing room. The sooner this case was over the better.

Grissom and Nick were there waiting for her already. She stepped into the room, trying to remain invisible but Nick spotted her immediately.

"Hey! You feeling ok? Thought you'd be sleeping it off"

"I'm fine; can we just get on with it please?"

Grissom didn't even look up from his file. The photographs of the victims were spread all over the table painting a disturbing picture of the family involved. She moved to Grissom's side, her eyes scanning the images and forming the story in her brain. He visibly stiffened and found some ridiculous reason to move away from her. This could be a lot worse than she thought.

Haslow appeared in the doorway, donut in hand and sweat on his brow.

"Sara, was Robert with you this morning? He's not clocked in"

She cursed his timing; tact was apparently not Officer Haslow's strong suit. She was struggling to put her finger on exactly what he did bring to his profession but that was irrelevant right now.

"He … uh he left me around 5" she confessed, flushing a dark shade of crimson from head to toe as Nick grinned at her from his position across the table. Grissom remained fixed on his file. He hadn't uttered a word or looked at either of them since she stepped into the room.

"Nick, you and Sara go back to the house and rework the scene. I'll stay here and put in some calls to Greg. See if we can get our trace and DNA back quicker" Grissom spoke quietly and specifically avoided talking to her.

The silent treatment.

Well two could play at that game. She turned on her heel and marched out of the police station leaving Nick in her wake wondering exactly what was going on between his friends.

They scoured every inch of that house, every nook and cranny was sprayed with Luminal and examined with their expert eyes but they didn't uncover anything new. They had been thorough the first time; they were really just wasting time until their evidence came through. Nick and Sara eventually walked through the doors of the police station as dusk was beginning to fall. Robert looked up from his desk and sent a sentimental smile her way.

On paper he was a good guy, he and Sara had a lot in common, their conversations flowed easily and Rob was a romantic person. The only problem was, he wasn't Grissom. Her heart belonged to him and until he actively gave her it back, until such a time as she could definitively put a line under whatever their relationship was or wasn't she couldn't give her heart to anyone else.

She sat down on the tiny uncomfortable plastic chairs in the briefing room and watched Grissom as he spoke on the phone to Greg. He was still avoiding her eye, still giving her the silent treatment and as retaliation she intended to stare at him until he HAD to look at her.

He caved a lot quicker than she thought. His eyes taking on a worried and confused expression as he looked up from his notepad and met her eye.

"Are you sure Greg? We really can't go there unless you've double and triple checked this"

This sounded serious. Obviously their evidence had thrown out a new angle. A new suspect or theory to follow. She sat up and trained her ears on him, straightening in her chair as she tried to catch a glimpse of his notebook.

"Hey, I'm heading out. I'll maybe catch you later Sara, goodnight Mr Grissom" Robert smiled. It warmed her heart that he was still willing to spend time with her even although he knew he was getting no further than he'd already been. Had she made a friend? That was a new skill of hers, to create friends in such a short time. He disappeared out of the building and Sara waved her goodbyes to her two colleagues, quickly following him out.

Grissom would tell her eventually, she was sure of it.