Episode 2: Snapshots 12w05a and 12w05b

The black screen began to dissipate, replaced with the shot of Calvin and Hobbes' news desk *cough-bed-cough*. Calvin grinned at the camera.

"Good day, fellow Minecraftians, and welcome to the next episode of Calvin and Hobbes' Minecraft News, where Minecraft stuff comes first and the rest comes never! Today we will be covering the first snapshot of February: snapshot 12w05a! We've got paranoid Creepers, smart villagers, and more!"

The image cut to a shot of a player running away from a Creeper. The voices began to alternate based on what the clips showed.

"It looks like players have an all-new reason to stay in their houses at night," said Calvin's voice. "What everyone has dreaded has finally come to pass: the Creeper has been given the same pathfinding improvements as both zombies and skeletons! In addition, when you walk out of range of a Creeper's line of sight, it stands still but continues to watch you! Creepers just got creepier!"

"Thanks, Calvin. Well, Creepers are going to be even more of a pest than they currently are. But don't worry: as a way of balancing out this overpowered AI system, Mojang has given Creepers a new weakness: they're scared of cats! That's right: Creepers now run away from tamed ocelots! It looks like Mojang has come up with another genius method of getting people to do stuff off to the side. And I must say, it makes sense: cats can be terrifying, even to Creepers!"

"Thank you, Hobbes. Creepers aren't the only changes in this snapshot. Other mobs have also received behavioral alterations. For example, villagers are now a lot smarter! In the daytime they roam around, but at night they avoid other mobs by going inside their houses! And since they can now open and close doors, they can keep those hostile mobs out of their homes!"

"And that's not all: other mob behaviors are different. The recent snapshot that removed mobs' tendency to jump up and down to get over fences failed to take into account a vital detail: Nether Brick fences! Well, that detail has now been taken care of. Ocelots can now be told to sit, and you can now tame them much more easily."

"Thanks for that, Hobbes. And now finally, here come the other, more minor updates. Lava now has sound effects, and experience orbs make a slightly higher bell sound. The rather amusing glitch wherein Abandoned Mine Shafts that were cut by ravines would just float there has been fixed so that Mine Shafts now bridge out across the ravines. Mojang has made various edits to the language files, and they claim the files now have '50% less profanity'. And lastly, Mojang seems to have changed its mind on the Bottle o' Enchanting concept, because enchantments in Creative Mode no longer require experience levels!"

The video cut back to the news desk. (I'm not going to even try to make the *cough-bed-cough* joke again.)

"Well," said Calvin, grinning at the camera, "that's all for this update and-"

Suddenly Calvin turned and looked at someone out of the camera's view. His eyes widened.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a breaking story," he said. "According to our field reporter, Mojang has released a second week 5 snapshot, 12w05b! The details are arriving at our studio now." And even has he spoke, a sheet of paper printed out from Minecraft Wiki landed on the desk.

Calvin examined the papers. "According to this story," he said, putting the papers down, "the second snapshot was due to an unforeseen glitch in 12w05a that caused the shift-click command to only produce one of a crafted item, even if excess was provided. Other changes are that cats can now be told to sit if right-clicked with an empty hand, and after you die the menu buttons do not become available for a few seconds to prevent accidentally exiting to the menu."

"However," said Hobbes, "we have news of a strange glitch: according to unconfirmed reports, Ghasts are frozen in place throughout the Nether! For reasons as yet unknown by this news station, Ghasts are frozen in place and entirely unable to move in 12w05b."

"Well, this has been quite a busy day for news," said Calvin, wiping sweat from his brow. "Well, we'll see all of you soon, most likely for 12w06a! See you then!"

Calvin and Hobbes began reading their papers, and the screen faded to black.

A/N: No, I don't know who the "field reporter" is supposed to be. He's probably an OC I'll introduce in a later story.