The sun rose, bringing with it the morning bustle that filled the Candy Kingdom. Mothers and fathers headed for work after a hearty breakfast. Children walked into the morning sun to play and laugh. Princess Bubblegum gently drifted out of sleep as the chirping of songbirds by her window pulled her from her dreams. Alex was rudely awakened by Dancing for Rain. Sarah rolled out of bed with a shriek.

"Good morning Sir, Ma'am." Peppermint Butler entered the room, having finished delivering the Princess' breakfast, "I have brought your morning meal."

He lifted the lid and set it down in front of them. The pancakes were fresh, drizzled with syrup and topped with a serving of butter and fruits. Sarah was out of bed in an instant, hungrily eying the pancakes.

"JAD." Alex said to himself, "Just another day."

He walked out of bed and started eating his serving of pancakes, pausing only once to change the song on his phone. The tower shook as an explosion echoed down its halls.

"The Princess!" Peppermint rushed out of the room.

Alex and Sarah threw a look at each other and ran towards the Princess' room. Alex paused to put on his lucky jacket.

"You'll never get her, Ice King!" Finn yelled from inside the room.

The two of them entered in time to see Finn deflecting a flurry of ice bolts with an old sword. Jake was circling the old wizard, aiming to knock the crown off.

"Not so fast, Jake!" The Ice King whirled around and froze the dog.

"Jake!" Finn cried, charging his opponent.

The boy's feet lost their grip on ice. The wizard was cackling madly, his beard flapping around.

"Finn! Jake!" Princess Bubblegum yelled from his shoulder, "Help!"

Finn regained picked himself up from the floor as Jake broke out of the ice.

"Damnit!" Finn said, "He got away!"

"Don't worry, Finn. We'll get him."

Jake stretched out of the window and enlarged himself.

"You guys coming?" Jake asked the two of them.

"Yeah, sure."

Princess Bubblegum was dumped unceremoniously into the cell. She did have a cellmate though. She was sleeping fitfully despite the fact that she had been captured by a crazy madman. Maybe it was a usual thing for her. Bubblegum took a closer look at the girl. She didn't have a tiara. The Ice King kidnapped princesses, not regular people. She brushed away the hair covering her face. She was human.

Princess Bubblegum gasped. Just how many humans did she transport to Ooo? What if they got into the hands of someone far more dangerous than the Ice King. A lump formed in her stomach. The Ice King returned, calling out loudly in his nasally voice.

"Hello Princess! I have brought you some snacks!"

The Ice King took one look at the girl sleeping on the floor and did a double take.

"How did you get in there?" He cried, startling the girl.

The girl screamed.

"At first I was in a cell made of Ice! Then there was this princess! And then there was this old guy with a beard!"

The girl looked around, still not completely awake.

"I'm not dreaming?"

"Get out! Get out!" The Ice King opened the cell and shooed her out, "You're not a Princess! This cell is for Princesses only!"

"Jerkface!"

"What did you call me?"

"I called you a jerkface! A big fat old ugly jerkface!"

The Ice King's shoulders slumped.

"Aww. Fine, get in."

The Ice King opened the cell and let her get in. Princess Bubblegum looked strangely at the girl. She opened her mouth to ask a question but an explosion beat her to the punch. The ice wall collapsed as Finn and Jake burst through the wall, swords and fists at the ready. The Ice King launched a salvo of ice bolts while Jake stretched towards the ceiling.

Finn deflected the ice bolts and charged towards the Ice King. He jumped when the wizard tried to freeze the floor under his feet. Finn was thrown back by a ray of ice.

"Finn!" Princess Bubblegum yelled.

Jake dropped down from the ceiling. He too was thrown back by the Ice King.

"How did you get so good?" Finn growled, getting up from the floor.

"Oh me? I took some tips from the Ice Queen."

"The Ice Queen? I thought she was just fanfiction."

"That's where you're wrong, boy!"

"It doesn't matter! We'll beat you anyway!"

Finn and Jake attacked simultaneously. It was futile. The Ice King laughed as Finn and Jake were thrown back yet again.

"She's mine now!" The wizard cackled.

"Never!" Finn got up.

He charged at the wizard, dodging ice bolts and ice rays. His sword lashed out, slicing off the tip of the Ice King's beard. The wizard flew back to gain distance and was about to unleash another ice ray when he suddenly covered his eyes.

"Ow! My eyes! What kind of magic is this?"

Alex stepped in from the hole, holding a tiny wand in his hand. She looked closer and realized that it was a laser pointer.

"Now Jake!"

Jake stretched his arm and knocked off the Ice King's crown. Finn punched the Ice King across the face, knocking him down. He reached towards his crown. Jake kicked it towards Finn, who caught it and threw it back. They played 'monkey in the middle' with the Ice King as the unwilling monkey until Jake got bored. He unlocked the cell door and let the two of them out.

"Alex!" The girl said.

"Nika!" Alex laughed.

Finn threw the crown into a corner and climbed onto Jake as he grew.

"C'mon guys, let's get outta here before he gets his powers back!"

Finn helped Princess Bubblegum up and Jake allowed the three humans to climb on.

Nika opened her mouth but Sarah shushed her.

"We'll explain later."

"I want to go home!" Nika bawled, "This place is weird!"

"Is she always like that?" Marceline asked from her ceiling.

"Only when someone interrupts her sleep."

The awkward silence was broken by Princess Bubblegum.

"My hero!" She kissed Finn on the forehead.

A cloaked figure sat hunched over a scrying bowl, peering into the images under the surface.

"Excellent." The figure growled, quite pleased with itself, "The Candy Princess has succeeded."

Green fire erupted, briefly illuminating a skeletal face.

Nika sat on a chair, sadly pondering a cup of punch. Everyone around her was celebrating the rescue of some lame candy princess and the role of a lame kid and his lame stretchy dog in her rescue. Alex and Sarah were playing on a stage with that lame vampire girl. Everything sucks.

"Now this next song is for those who are feeling down in the dumps. It's called Survive! It's by a wonderful band from the past named Rise Against!"

Nika's head perked up. That was her favorite song.

"Somewhere between happy and a total freaking wreck!" She sang along so loud that she almost couldn't hear the tiny voice at her feet.

"Excuse me miss? Excuse me?"

It was a cute little snail.