Warning: Eating Disorder. Nothing too graphic, but look away if your not good with those kind of things.
Authors Note: Hello! This is just an idea I've had in my mind for a while and have just gotten down to writing it. Though I don't believe there are many specific facts about eating disorders in here, I tried to do the best research I could into them. If I do get anything even slightly wrong, please feel free to correct me. Also, if you like it or have any idea how I can improve my writing, PLEASE say. And last but definetly not least, enjoy!
P.S I apologise if I've got this wrong, but I believe 4st 7lb is the weight that they can't medically help you recover from an eating disorder e.g. anorexia, bulumia. You can either get better naturally or die. Sad, I know.
I eat too much to die and not enough to stay alive. I'm sitting in the middle, waiting. ~ Manic Street Preachers - 4st 7lb
Beep.
I'm waiting for the noise to end. I'm waiting for the silence to start. Even though silence is louder in my opinion.
It never does end. It just goes on and on and on. Never stopping. A constant reminder of where I am and what I've done
Not that I need a reminder.
I just feel my stickly thin body, feel the knife sharp bones sticking out, look around at the worried faces that have never left my side since I came here, see their disappointed glances they aim at me when they think I'm not looking, their faces when I drop another pound.
And it all comes back.
Beep.
6st
I'm so proud of myself. I've finally reached my target weight!
It would be useful to lose a few more pounds though. In case I'll want to eat something with a few extra calories in it. Unlikely, but better safe than sorry.
Yeah. I think that's what I'll do.
Beep.
5st 12lb.
It's been a week.
I stand in front of the mirror and trace ever inch of bone I can see. My third rib appeared yesterday.
It's still not enough.
Beep.
5st 10lb.
My skin is now cling-film on my bones.
Clinging on to me for dear life.
Beep.
5st 8lb.
"People have ears you know."
I jump. Did I forget to lock the door?
I turn around to see Cho Chang standing there. With no recognition of what she has just seen me doing, she speaks.
"When you're in public, flush the toilet as you're doing it. When you're at home or in the dormitory, put the shower on. When you're alone, lock the door at least."
She says this all in a monatone. Like she's reading off an autocue.
I stand there. Shocked.
She gives me an emotionless nod. As if to say, "You're Welcome." And walks off.
Beep.
5st 5lb.
"What's wrong Hermione dear? You haven't eaten a scrape of your dinner. It is your favorite."
"Just don't feel hungry."
I would have liked to have said that I was on a diet.
Problem is, diet's not a big enough word.
Beep.
5st 3lb.
Christmas. The happiest time for most people.
Not for me.
The snow ruins it.
I can see my footprints.
It soils it's purity.
Beep.
5st 2lb.
It's not about weight anymore.
I think maybe it never was.
I'm finally in control of something of something worthwhile and important in my life. Not some stupid schoolwork that won't really matter in a few years.
I'm finally in control of my body.
Beep
5st 1lb.
My vision's getting blurred. I can see all my ribs. My hands are trembling stalks. I can feel my breasts sinking.
But I'm fine.
Mum tries to choke me with the left over turkey from Christmas.
My Dad says that it's the way I'm built.
Everyone else disagrees.
Beep.
5st.
They took me to hospital today.
Not that I knew that when I got in the car.
I would have ran if I had.
Not that I would have gotten very far.
Beep.
4st 10lb.
The faces are still staring at me.
The doctors and nurses. The fat scum that still pamper me so.
Mum and Dad. I hope they'll be happy after I'm gone.
The Weasleys. My second family.
Cho. I never did get round to thanking her.
Ron and Harry. I'll miss them the most.
Beep.
4st 9lb.
I've finally come to understand life.
Through staring blankly at my navel.
Beep.
4st 8lb.
They've told everyone I'm getting worse. That I can't be helped if I lose any more weight.
They don't get it though.
I'm not getting worse.
I'm getting better.
Beep.
4st 7lb.
I'm finally alive.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.