Alex sat on a rock, pondering his effectiveness in combat. He rarely exercised, and neglected his martial arts class for computer games. The only fights he recalled were being severely beaten up in grade school by his classmates. He winced: those weren't pleasant memories. He also recalled playing Sword Fight with his cousins once upon a time, but the 'swords' were just sticks of bamboo nailed together.

On the other hand, Sarah had taken fencing when she was growing up in England, and Nika knew how to shoot an arrow. They were going to have it easier than him. Maybe he would take those magic classes BUFO was offering. Jake had warned against it, stating that BUFO was a big nerd. Alex laughed, he was a nerd as well.

"Alex! Watch out!" Sarah called.

He dove away from the rock, barely missing a blunt longsword.

"Sorry!" Fionna apologized, "I got a little carried away there!"

The two of them were clad in white sparring gear, wielding blunted practice swords. Sarah was hunched over, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. Fionna didn't even look tired, despite the hot sun.

"Alright, water break!"

"Finally!" Sarah tore her helmet off and reached for a glass of water, which Peppermint Butler had placed there earlier.

She downed it in just two gulps. Alex offered to refill the glass and she graciously accepted, downing the second glass just as quickly. She took a third, and then a fourth.

"Thanks." She said, wiping her face with a soft towel.

She had just put her helmet back on when Fionna was upon her.

Their hands worked tirelessly, moving rock and sand and bone to build a throne for their Master. Their eyes were dull, soulless, illuminated from within by unholy magicks. A dozen of them rolled a drum of radioactive waste down a ramp, allowing it to collide with the rest at the bottom. Glowing waste leaked onto the floor, burning all those who touched it. It did not matter.

The Lich King's grin widened as his nexus of power began to take shape within the Concrete Tomb.

It was Alex's turn to spar. Fionna had shown him the basics of sword safety and handling, and showed him a few basic moves with the sword. His palms were sweating inside his gloves. They did that when he was nervous.

"Three...two...one. Go!"

Fionna blurred into motion. Alex was barely able to bring the sword up in time to block her strike. Steel clashed against steel, throwing sparks into the air. The sword nearly slipped from Alex's hands. He adjusted his grip and swung out in a wide arc. Fionna blocked it with leisurely ease. He noticed that her legs were open, so he swiped her feet out from under her.

"Oh, so you play dirty?" He could tell she was grinning underneath the helmet, "Two can play at that game!"

She grabbed a handful of dirt and tossed it at Alex's face. Suddenly, he was on the ground with the tip of a sword against his neck.

"Well, this was interesting." She remarked, offering a hand to Alex, "I bet you don't like sticking to the rules."

"Duh."

"So round two?"

"Sure."

Several hours and a dozen rounds of sparring passed, Fionna emerging the clear victor every time. His arms and legs burned, and he was nursing a big bruise on his thigh from one of Fionna's swings. She was stronger than she looked. He glanced at Nika, who was busy pulling all of her arrows out of the dirt. Out of three hundred, only a dozen hit the target, and only one had hit the bullseye.

"I forgot to tell you guys that I suck at archery," She said, pulling the last arrow out of a tree trunk.

"No shame in that, Nik. We all suck at something." Came one of Alex's sagely sayings.

Sarah nodded her head, and then winced. She was having one of those killer headaches she got when she was forced to memorize long passages. In this case, it was a 'create itch' spell.

"What did I just read?" Alex peered over Sarah's shoulder.

"It's a book of nonsense spells. Creatus itchius!"

Alex scratched his arm.

"It works! It works!" She broke into laughter, "It works! Ow! My head!"

Sarah's head thumped noisily on the table.

"You go read this, Alex. I'm dead."

Alex pulled the tome over to his place and started reading. He lost track of the time, and was surprised that the sun had gone up again when he looked up from the half-finished book.

"Huh. That was a good read."

Alex pointed at a sleeping Sarah and said, "Arousicus!"

The spell wasn't what he was expecting.

"I thought it was a 'wake up' spell!" Alex held his hands up defensively.

"Well it's not! I still feel weird!" She stalked into a room and slammed the door.

"Well crap."

Nika yawned and stretched her arms, working her mouth. She sat up with a smile on her face.

"Glad to see you're happy." Alex said, flipping a few pages over.

"Sup Alex?"

"Well, I learned a few spells over here. I used the wrong one on Sarah, now she's pissed."

"Oh, that sucks!" Nika replied emphatically.

"Thanks, Nik."

The clouds outside turned gray, thickening and growing in number as lightning began flashing. A spell of rain pattered against the gingerbread roof, and then suddenly increased to heavy fall of hail. One particularly large stone smashed straight through the roof and shattered against the table. Nika jumped, clutching Alex's arm for security.

Outside, wicked cackling screeched into the air. It was feminine. Outside, candy guards were throwing their spears and firing arrows at the figure skating down from the sky on a ribbon of ice. It was wearing a blue dress and throwing lightning bolts from its hands.

"The Ice Queen!" Alex heard Fionna yell from outside, "Cake, let's get 'er!"

Alex watched as the two heroines attacked from either side, Cake distracting her while Fionna attacked from behind. They weren't expecting the Ice King, who joined the battle from above. He launched a hail of icicles at the two of them, allowing the Ice Queen to press the attack.

"Nika! Your bow!"

"I don't know how to shoot!"

"Don't worry! Just aim for something else!"

Alex cast 'true flight' on the arrows and tossed them to her. They were practice arrows, but they would force the two villains to find cover, he thought. Nika let fly her first arrow. The Ice Queen noticed the projectile heading towards them and turned towards it to project a shield of ice in front of it. Cake took the opportunity to knock her crown off. The Ice Queen fell off her ice track, but was caught by the Ice King. Nika launched a volley of arrows, forcing the King to block them with a wall of ice.

Alex racked his mind for a not-so-useless spell. He came upon 'sparks' and shrugged.

"Electricalus sparkius!" He yelled in pig Latin.

A measly stream of electricity connected the two of them for but the briefest moment. The Ice King yelped in pain. Fionna jumped from Cake's back and slapped the crown away. The two of them plummeted to the ground. The shapeshifting cat caught her partner and put her on the ground.

"You jerks!" The Ice King yelled, "I just wanted to borrow a cup of sugar!"

Nika shot another arrow, forcing the old wizard to duck.

"You butts!" Princess Bubblegum cried from her window.

"With my gratitude, and that of the Candy Kingdom, I hereby award these metals to Fionna the Human and Cake the Cat for their service in defending the Kingdom and the peace."

Princess Bubblegum placed the medals around their necks and stepped back to allow them to gleam in the sunlight.

"I have something to say." Fionna stepped forward, grasping her medal.

The crowd fell silent.

"We were merely doing our jobs," Fionna removed the medal, "it is our duty to defend and protect those who cannot do so themselves. Nay, the true heroes are Alex and Nika, who went above and beyond the call of duty. Without them, we would have fallen under the combined might of the two Ice Wizards. We owe our thanks to them.

Cake had removed her medal as well. The audience stood transfixed.

"Alex, Nika." Fionna said, "These are for you guys."

The audience burst into applause and cheers as the two Newcomers stepped forward, medals displayed proudly on their necks. Sarah sat at the far end, looking somewhat sad and a little bit jealous. She wanted to apologize to Alex but she couldn't find the time or the willpower to do it, not yet anyway. She stood up and walked away, It was a simple mistake and she had blown it out of proportion.

Maybe later in the backstage area. They were scheduled up for a gig later tonight. She could apologize there.

"Marceline." One of the councilors said, "Your lack of presence in the meetings causes us a lot of trouble. Without you, the Vampire kingdom is in a state of disarray."

"Can't you just elect a new leader, Alucard?"

"It does not work that way, my lady. We simply can't elect a new leader because the Succession Law doesn't allow it!"

"Can't you change it then? Or has the Council turned into a bunch of a spineless wimps while I was away?"

Alucard bristled at the insult, and then regained his usual composure.

"I'm afraid not. The instability of the Kingdom has made it hard for the council to do anything useful. Changing the Law would upturn the table and result in a civil war, and we all know how the last one went."

Marceline sighed, remembering how the previous King had been slain. "Fine. Let's get to business. Send word to the Candy Kingdom in Ooo that my stay has been extended."

"It shall be done, my Lady."

"Just Marceline. I'm not some power hungry freak."

"Of course, my La- I mean, Marceline."

A/N: How do you guys like this?