Title: Like Father, Like Son?
Chapter 2 – Mending a Broken Fence?
As soon as he had uttered the hurtful words, Ed's world had literally come to a complete stop for a few tormented seconds; the surprised and hurt expression on his friends face, on Greg's face needed no words. A few days earlier, his friend and superior had confessed to him just what he meant, how much he had helped him and got him to even tear up his resignation. And how was he repaid? With harsh words spoken in the heat of the moment. Leave now! Ed's mind commands as he wastes no time, cursing his stupid outburst as he turns and heads for the nearest exit.
I can't believe I said that…why the hell did I say that? I'm not mad at Greg…maybe jealous but not…damn it! Ed's mind continues to spiral downward, his heart racing at top speed. How do you come back from that? What apologetic confession could he offer to take back the words? Nothing. They were out there, to be pondered, digested, absorbed and rebutted? He had hurt his friend and confidant and for what? His wounded pride? His throbbing ego? His own shortsightedness?
Without wasting too much of a second Greg hurries after Ed and spies him trying to escape out the back exit doors. For a few seconds Greg's mind races with a few options. Forcing Ed to stay in his heated frame of mind and possibly putting him into the truck to let him cool down if they have a hot call could work but would still continue to foster strained feelings between them. Letting him leave without this festering issue between them being resolved would also spell certain professional disaster for both of them; not to mention would leave their friendship on the verge of utter collapse.
But how could he get Ed to come to terms with the fact that Clark simply wanted another choice – and it wasn't wrong? How could he make his stubborn team leader see that it wasn't necessarily his fault? Ed blames himself for Clark not wanting to be like him, Greg's mind inwardly ponders. How do you make him see he hasn't failed as a parent? You can't fast forward time and show him that no matter what choice he made it would be a good one because the values of hard work, loyalty and dedication that personifies Ed's personality was also in Clark? Greg knows he can't – Ed has to come to terms with that himself. But the fact that he now feels jealousy toward Greg for Dean's decision, Greg knows that won't be easy to fix at all. And guilting Clark into doing his father's wishes wasn't a path Greg was going to walk – at least not willingly.
Ed pushes through the doors, getting a few feet from the back and just standing and taking in a series of short but deep breaths. He hears the door open but doesn't turn around, guilt and now shame creeping up on him from his heated confession.
"Greg…I need a moment."
"Well…not this time."
"Boss…"
"You don't need to stand there and try to justify your feelings Ed," Greg's warm tone is heard as he nears him. "I get it…trust me I do."
"You do not."
"You sure? It's not like I can attribute my parenting skills to my son's career choice," Greg states in truth as Ed finally turns around to face his friend. "He's been in my life for what, a few solid months now?"
But when Ed says nothing Greg looks at him with an intense gaze and then sighs. "You gotta talk about this."
"No…no I don't. Clark wants…you know what, he's made his choice and so what."
"Have you talked to Clark about this?"
"I…yeah I tried."
"How hard?"
"Are we done here?"
"I'm not trying to pick a fight here Eddie but you can't keep this much hostility inside and function normally and you know it. You said I was part of the problem. Now we at least need to get that out of the way. Why do you say that?"
Ed looks at Greg and feels is inner self literally kicking him in the gut, his stomach tight in knots but his brain reminding him that he did owe him something in the way of an apology.
"What I said was unfair," Ed simply states.
"But you said it for a reason. You envy me today. You mean because of Dean's choice? Ed that…"
"I'm not setting a good example for Clark…Greg go ahead and say it."
"So your son doesn't want…"
"To be like me?" Ed hisses as he turns around sharply.
"No, he doesn't want to be a cop, he's already like you. He wasn't afraid to speak his mind, he told the truth; just as you would have. He's made a stand…"
"Yeah against me," Ed huffs as he walks past Greg and leans against the outer wall, his intense gaze daring Greg to give him his best comeback.
"Now you're just letting your emotions talk."
"Say it Greg…I work too much and sometimes put the job before my family. Clark has seen that example and who else is to blame but…me and…" Ed's voice rattles off until Greg puts his hand up and he instantly stops.
"Hold on…I get your disapointed but there is no point to stand here and pick apart the last seventeen years of your life."
"Why not? Everyone else is," Ed states and Greg looks at him in surprise. "They'll figure I messed up somewhere because my kid doesn't want to be a cop; he doesn't want to be like me."
"So all eyes are on you huh?"
"You even said it yourself."
"What? When did I…"
"The day you found out about Izzy. You told me now I could do things differently."
"Eddie it was a comment…"
"That you made because you…"
"Because it was a comment to make. But I also added that if I could do mine over I would; in a heartbeat."
"Dean proudly stated that he…"
"He wants to be a cop; cop's carry guns, wear the cool pants, it's cool…I'm not cool, the job is cool; we both know that. Have you talked to Clark about the real reason he doesn't want to be a cop?"
"He doesn't okay? I can't badger the truth outta him."
"Asking can be done in the right way," Greg gently reminds him.
"Okay fine. Are we done? We have a day to get back to."
"No. Ed I'm not letting you go back in there to lead my team in the field, into a possible life and death situation with you this heated or knowing that you have these feelings toward me."
"Fine," Ed nods before he turns and quickly pulls the door open and disappears inside, leaving Greg to offer a heavy sigh, a small curse before he follows Ed back into the building. Greg watches Ed round the corner and stop before he reaches the team one meeting room and then veer to the right and head toward the locker room.
"Hey dad…everything okay with Ed?" Dean asks in a low tone as Greg walks up to him.
"Yeah…think it mighta been something he ate," Greg nods. "He'll be okay. So what's up?"
"Actually I gotta run to class. I'll um see you tonight okay?"
"Okay sure."
Greg watches Dean leave and then goes in search of Ed, stopping in the middle of the quiet locker room and looking around before realizing that Ed knew he'd be going into the field in a heated frame of mind and removed himself from the tense equation; the same thing he would have done for any other team member. But he wasn't about to let Ed go off, possibly alone, to let this boil until he did something rash. This has to be settled today, Greg's mind directs as he takes Spike aside.
"Spike…I need something."
"Sure boss what is it?"
XXXXXXXX
Ed brings his car to a stop and leans back in the seat, turns off the engine and then hits the dash in frustrated anger. He knew as soon as he confessed to Greg that he was part of his own internal grief that he'd have to pull himself for the day; he'd have ordered anyone else to do the same so it was up to him to lead by example.
"I did this," Ed groans as he pulls out the keys and fiddles with them in his fingers before tightening his thick fist around it, not caring about the jagged edges that dig into the soft palm flesh. Finally he loosens his grasp, gets out and slowly wanders toward a nearby bench, slumping down and facing the all too familiar building with a heavy frown.
'Have you talked to Clark?' 'I tried.' 'How hard?'
"Not hard enough boss…not hard enough," Ed groans as he looks back down at the set of keys in his fingers and shakes his head, muttering angry words at himself for voicing his own internal anger in Greg's direction. He hears the bell ring and then watches a few students file out; it being between classes. Ed watches Clark with a small smile, that smile automatically growing as Clark sees him, mentions something to the other boy he was with before heading toward him.
"Hey dad…what's up?" Clark asks with a small frown as he approaches his father on the small bench.
"You got study hall next right?"
"Yeah. Something happen to mom?" Clark inquires in haste as he sits down beside his father; neither of them seeing Spike and Greg pull up in a black SUV and then Greg get out and watch from a discreet distance while Spike heads back to the barn.
"No…everything's fine. I just wanted to talk to you."
"Okay sure," Clark shrugs. "Is this about my choice about…dad I'm sorry that…"
"No Clark, there is no need to apologize."
"I know you're mad…I could tell the night I told you."
"You could?"
"Yeah you're kinda easy to read. Now I see why Uncle Roy always beats you at poker."
"Funny," Ed replies with a small smirk. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"
"I don't know. I mean I always hear you and Uncle Roy talking about how you were taught to follow grandfather's footsteps and then…then I heard you tell him that it was up to me to carry on the family tradition since he has no kids."
"You heard that?" Ed asks weakly, his mind thinking back a few months to a discussion he and his brother were having one night in the backyard after a tough case for Roy.
"Yeah. But after that I um…"
"Didn't want to tell me," Ed shakes his head angrily at himself. "Clark, I am so sorry. I am not going to lie to you and say that's not what I want when it is. Sure I want you to follow in my footsteps and I think I have the greatest job; but I know I haven't been here as much as I should have and…Clark I just want what's best for you."
"Are you really mad?"
"To be honest I am disappointed but not at you…I know that whatever you do you'll be great at…I know that."
"I just want to try something else you know?" Clark looks at Ed who gives him a nod in return. "I want a different life."
"And you haven't always had the best example when it comes to a family man spending time with his family."
"I get your job dad."
"Maybe sometimes I'm too busy doing my job I forget to my real job…like being there for you. Buddy I'm sorry about that. I really am. I wish I had known earlier that it made you this distant."
"So it's okay if I want to do something else? You get that right?"
"I do and I just…I guess it's hard for me too…all this growing up stuff…" Ed sighs as he wraps his arm around Clark's shoulder and pulls him closer, kissing the top of his head. "Hard to accept that you're now making decisions on your own without telling me or needing my input."
"Dad I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Ed assures his son. "It's something every parent faces and I guess I just wasn't ready; for that or your choice. But none of this is your fault, okay?"
"I know Dean wants to be a cop and uh…well he said something about us going together and such but…but I just don't wanna be a cop."
"Whatever you do decide…engineer…chef…hockey player," Ed teases.
"Basketball dad," Clark groans.
"That too…whatever. Whatever you pick I will support you, I want you to know that."
"Fashion designer?" Clark smirks.
"No way…I draw the line somewhere," Ed fires back with a small chuckle. "Anything else and you got my full support."
"Well it makes things easier knowing you're not mad at me."
"Sorry if I gave that off. You know I don't like surprises."
"Yeah wonder where I get that from."
"Funny. Okay so I know there is the big career expo at the convention center this weekend…how about we head downtown together…check out a few more options and then dinner's on me."
"Really?" Clark looks sideways at his father with a smile.
"Really," Ed confirms. "Who knows maybe I could pick up a few job prospects."
"They don't let hockey players carry guns dad," Clark teases his father in return.
"In some countries they do," Ed shoots back and both of them lightly laugh. "And for the record, I let Roy beat me at poker."
"Sure whatever," Clark smiles back.
"Okay I'll let you get back to class. See you tonight."
"Dad."
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad you're here…you know glad we worked this out."
"Me too buddy…me too," Ed stands up and pulls his son into his strong arms and holds him close for a few extra seconds before letting Clark go, watching him head back to class. But without turning around he hears footsteps behind and frowns before slumping back down on the bench. "Greg I'm sorry," Ed starts, using Greg's full name to ensure the apology was heartfelt, "but I had to make things right with him first."
"I know you did and I wasn't about to argue that. I'm glad you did," Greg acknowledges as he sits down beside Ed, both of them watching as Clark finally disappears back into the large high school. "You two okay?"
"We're gonna be. He's growing up…he's making decisions without me and…and I guess it took me by surprise. But he's a great kid and I know he'll do fine."
"Yeah he is. Had a good upbringing."
"Then thank Soph for that because I was nev…"
"I'm not gonna sit here and have you berate yourself," Greg stops him. "Clark's a good kid because his father's a good man. Didn't you hand me that line one time. You're a good man Ed Lane and trust me your son knows that," Greg nods; Ed looking over at him for a few seconds before turning away again. "None of us are perfect parents. Heck you wanna talk about parental misgivings then you might be afraid my friend…you wanna know how I really feel?"
"Greg…"
"But as much as I sometimes wanna sit here and try to guess what Dean really thinks…what things he must hear from his mother; I can't…because I start into that second guessing game and it's over for both of us – I'll drive him away and I know that."
"Like I have been doing the past few weeks with Clark."
"Clark's scared…he's making his own decisions for the first time in his life that'll shape his future, he just needs to know no matter what that you have his back."
"And I told him that today."
"And that you'll always be there for him."
"And I told him that too."
"Then my friend I think you should be fine."
"Greg what I said earlier about you…it wasn't personal."
"Yeah it was. Eddie its okay you don't have to lie to spare my feelings."
"Just always thought that when he graduated from the police academy and got his…yeah just always thought I'd be there telling all the other cops…that's my kid…he's gonna be just like his dad. That's what every father wants right?"
Greg looks at Ed and frowns before nodding.
"I hold nothing against you Greg, I need you to know that," Ed confesses, his eyes still fixed forward on Clark's school.
"I know that," Greg assures Ed, finally drawing Ed's gaze to meet his. "I know that. Words spoken in the heat of the moment…I've been there, we've all been there. But I know that you…much like you normally do, just hold it all inside, until you are backed into an emotional corner and when your hand is forced you end up saying things you mean but don't sometimes know how to verbalize properly. Part of that was my fault for backing you into that corner."
"Still shouldn't have said it. I'm happy for you both that Dean wants to follow your footsteps. But I am a bit envious."
"It's normal and I get that…but I hope you don't let it eat away inside you without telling me again how you really feel. Don't let it reach this point again."
"Me and talking…" Ed pauses with a heavy sigh.
"Yeah I know…not a good combo for you my friend," Greg gently teases Ed, coaxing a small smile from his lips. "But when you feel the need to talk or whatever…you do that okay? No more spontaneous blowups or field trips."
"Copy…that," Ed answers as he looks over at Greg with a small smile of appreciation. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. So we good?"
"Yeah…we're good."
The two of them sit in silence a few more minutes before the second bell is heard and it's time to head back. "Well…guess we should get back."
"What's the word for today?"
"Patrolling and guess who gets to work together?" Greg answers with a grin as they toward Ed's Ford Flex.
"Just as long as you don't go all Oprah on me."
"I like Dr. Phil better."
"Ah," Ed smirks as he turns the key and pulls out of the parking lot and heads back toward SRU headquarters to properly gear up and get into the field. Ed glances over at Greg for a few seconds and then back at the road, trying to hide his frown from his friend and boss. Ed tells himself that today two fences were semi-mended; the coming days, weeks and months would prove whether or not the fences would actually remain mended and endure or if the hinge holding them together would finally snap and the fence would be damaged beyond repair.
"Ready to keep the peace?" Greg's words break into his thoughts.
"Let's do it."
And while Ed can try to fool those around him that he's okay with everything that Clark decides he knows that hiding his hurt and disappointment in the long run of not being able to say like father like son would be a challenge, one he wasn't sure he could meet successfully.
THE END!
A/N: Okay so wasn't sure how much more to add to this so left it a bit open ended b/c I really wanna see what they'll do in season 5 with this as they hinted at the end of season 4 with the whole Dean/Clark convo; but then you can be sure Alice and I will be back with something more for you all to read on this topic (and if they don't then we still might be back on this topic lol). Thanks so much and hope you all liked this somewhat open ending to this little speculation ficlet. Please do review before you go and thanks so much in advance!
PS: Hope you are also liking Eye for an Eye (updated Tuesday)