Chapter 4: At least he doesnt touch old dirty balls for a living

"Look, I already told you. You came in with a mild concussion, some bruised ribs. No big deal. Her on the other hand, im surprised you didnt crack your skull open!" The doctor tested his patients reflexes as he spoke to the group. Sophie stepped towards him.

"What was wrong with me?" He turned towards them.

"Both you and him came in here covered in blood, yours. your lip was cut and you alreadly had mild bruises on your body. Somehow you got that gash on the top of your head, we found gravel from the wound so you may have hit the street...Although none of you could articulate how it happened." He continued to check the old man on the table.

"Do you remember how many of us were here?" Phil asked. The doctor thought about it a second.

"Ah...I don't know. I think it was just you guys. Definitely no baby. And one other guy." Stu got excited.

"That's our guy. Was he okay?" Alan stared at the old man in his underwear.

"Yeah. He was fine. Just whacked out of his mind. You all were." The doctor put on a set of latex gloves.

"All right, come forward. And turn. All right." The group all turned their backs to the room as the doctor puleld down the old man's underwear and grabbed his penis.

"There you go. And cough." He gave a labored cough. Sophie turned to look at alan who was staring at the old mans balls. she turned to stu who saw it also and gave a "WTF" face.

"Cough. Cough. Give me one more. All right. Thattaboy. Okay, Felix, you can put your robe on. And the nurse will be in here in a minute. I'll see you after the weekend." The doctor said in a louder tone. The old man thanked him. turning to meet the doctors face he turned and shook his head as if too say he wasn't gonna see he after the weekend.

"Guys, I really gotta go. I'm sorry. I have a surgery up on the fourth floor." He washed his hands as alan continued to stare at the old man. Sophie slapped him out of his trance.

"No, I know. But we just need a couple more minutes of your time." Phil held up a hundred dollar bill. The doctor looked at it a second and nodded.

"Yeah. Tuck it right in there. I don't want to re-sterilize. Walk with me." Phil tucked it in his jacket and they walked with him to get a file.

Okay, here we go. Patients names were, Phil and Sophie Wenneck, 2:45 a.m. arrival. Phil Wennek had minor concussion, like I said. Some bruising. Pretty standard. Sophie Wennek had blunt force trauma to the forehead 12 stitches couple scrapes a cut lip and some bruising." Stu moved to grab the folder.

"Do you mind if I look? I'm actually a doctor." The doctor looked at him.

"Yeah, you said that several times last night. But really, you're just a dentist." Sophie narrowed her eyes at him.

"Hey at least he doesnt touch old dirty balls for a living dick." Stu looked at her in shock.

"Sophie!" He said quietly. She shrugged. the doctor laughed.

"Yeah you got quite the mouth. I wouldnt be surprised if one of these three hit you on purpose last night. Okay, this is interesting. Your blood work came in this morning." He totally bi-passed Sophie's reaction to his comment as stu and phil laughed.

"Wow. They found a large amount of Ruphylin in both your systems." Phil gave a confused look as Sophie buried her head.

"Ruphylin. Roofies. Commonly known as the date-rape drug." Phil gave a nervous laugh.

"What, so, what are you saying, I was raped last night?" The doctor checked the charts

"Actually...I don't think so, at least not you. Sophie Wennek had some mild abrasions on the inside of her legs...could have been anything." Sophie looked at phil as she spoke to the doctor.

"Yeah doc, that wasnt rape..." The doctor nodded.

"But someone did slip you the drug. I'm not surprised you don't remember anything." Alan started to laugh.

"Doc, none of us can remember anything from last night. Remember?" he looked towards the others. they rolled their eyes and looked back at the doctor. Phil gave him a confused look.

"Yeah. How could someone have drugged all of us?" The doctor packed up the file

"Look, I wouldn't worry about it guys. By know the stuff's out of your system. You're gonna be fine." Stu tried to stop him.

"Wait, wait, wait. Please, doctor. Is there anything else? Like, something we may have been talking about...or some place we were going?" the doctor stopped and thought a second.

"Actually, there was something. You guys kept talking about some wedding last night." Sophie was the only one who thought about that one. She looked down at the huge ring. Stu shook his head.

"Yeah. No shit. Our buddy Doug's getting married tomorrow." Phil reached for the doctor's pocket.

"You know what? I want the 100 back." the doctor pulled away.

"No, no. Easy. You kept talking about some wedding you just came from. At the, uh, Best Little Chapel. You kept saying how sick the wedding was and getting all crazy about it." Sophie looked up at him.

"Was it us talking about our marriage?" She motioned to her and Phil. Phil's head shot up as he looked at the doctor.

"Yeah you two and someone else got married last night." Alan smiled.

"Was it me and sophie!" Sophie and phil looked at him in disgust.

"Yeah..., I hope this helps. I really have to leave." Phil pulled out a pen and paper.

"Best Little Chapel, do you know where that is?" The doctor turned back to them.

"I do. It's at the corner of Get A Map and Fuck Off." Phil stopped writing and looked at him. Stu was taken aback as Sophie shook her head trying to comprehend what was just said.

"fucking prick..." she said under her breath as she stared at him bewildered.

"I'm a doctor, not a tour guide. Figure it out yourself, okay? You're big boys." With that the doctor left. Stu turned to Sophie as they left the building.

"Why did you back me up with the dirty balls line?" Phil laughed

"Ha! yeah that was a good one Soph. or should i say "Mrs. Wennek" He grabbed a hold of her. She pushed him away laughing.

"Because we are the only ones to make fun of you dr. faggot." He stopped smiling.

"Yeah i like it better when your name of choice for me is dickie." She hugged him

"Still love you. and yes, your job is better than his. teeth are way better than dirty balls in your hand." Alan spoke up

"I think he has a nice job!" They stopped walking and stared at him.

"Really Alan?" Sophie shook her head.

A/n Sorry if this one seemed a bit short. I really wanted to title it dirty balls cuz i thought it was funny. next chappie is the chapel scene yay! oh! And we find out about the mysterious ring! Please review! love you guys!