Why Lily Fell
-By Yo-yo
A/N: Hi everyone. I hope you like this next chapter. It's introducing you to the group dynamic, but also lending some experience to the nature of Lily & James's relationship. It'll heat up the next chapter when Lily's fiery attitude begins to match her hair. Have a wonderful holiday season, maybe I can upload the next chapter for Christmas? (The Christmas chapter will be posted much later in the year)
Group Dynamics:
On a frigid, grey January morning in her fifth year at Hogwarts, Lily woke, later than usual, to an empty dormitory. It wasn't an unusual experience, the empty dormitory bit. With everyone freaking out over the impending O.W.L. examinations, even she used every available moment to study, sometimes finding a seat in the Great Hall hours before the first students ebbed in for breakfast.
But today was her birthday, and like birthdays previous, she had expected her friends to be grinning from their four-posters, ready for her to open gifts.
However, when she threw open the heavy, winter curtains, the day welcomed her with bitter stillness. Sighing and groaning in the same breath, she collected her toiletries, like normal, sure that tonight would bring the festivities.
It was Friday, after all. They could all use a night off.
Having finally washed, dressed, and brushed her hair into defiant submission, she set down the staircase and off to Ancient Runes.
When she reached class, she moved to sit beside Edgar Bones, a fellow Gryffindor, and flatmate of The Marauders. Upon reaching her seat, she found a dark green sack on her chair with her name pinned to it. Unpinning the scrap of parchment, she read the message on the back: To carry your treasures, Edgar.
"Oh, Edgar, thank you!" Lily beamed, leaning over to give him a hug.
"No problem, happy birthday." He hugged her back.
Later, as she settled beside her Muggle friend, Ieva (pronounced Yev-ah), in Muggle Studies, David Bowie's record, Young Americans, lay across her desk with a scrap of parchment temporarily stuck, which read: To dance to, Ieva.
"Ieva, I wasn't expecting this, thank you." A sincere smile and firm hug indicated it was surely appreciated.
"Don't be, I'm itching to hear it. My brother says it's live!"
"Definitely, we'll borrow the classroom," she grinned, an idea they'd acted on a few times, permission granted of course, because it had the only functioning record player in the school. Not that Lily needed a record player, anyway. She had long ago invented a charm to magically play Muggle records. She was just unsure how to bring Ieva into the common room without revealing its whereabouts, and getting flack from Gryffindors.
"I'll ask Professor Minkus after our lesson."
In Arithmancy, Mildred had given her a book of practical spells, and Alice had knit her a soft, grey jumper.
The gifts were unexpected, and their presentations heartfelt, but having not encountered any of her closest friends yet, she was growing despondent at the thought of them ever acknowledging her birthday. It was only when she found her friends furtively eyeing a package at lunch, when they seemed to even notice that this day was different.
"Wotcher!" James pointed a used butter knife at her as she sat at her place on the bench. "You've got a package."
"I can see that, thank you," she looked at it quietly. It was quite small, and her name scripted on the top wasn't in any handwriting she knew. Undoing the brown paper wrapping, in a small jewelry box was a Muggle-made turquoise and pewter hair clasp. Wishing you an enlightening sixteenth. Happy birthday, Sev.
"So, who's it from?" Sunny grinned, "It's gorgeous!"
"Severus."
"Why'd he go and do that?" James put on a look of confusion. His façade slightly faltered at the sight of Snape's gift.
Lily didn't respond. She wasn't interested in indulging James's denial as she fingered the hair clasp. A smile touched her lips as she fingered the clasp. Without noticing James's crestfallen expression, she passed the note for her friends to read and stood up to scan the Great Hall. Severus caught her gaze and nodded. She smiled and turned back to her friends.
"Wotcher, it's your birthday?" James asked as she pulled a plate.
"That's what the note says," she groaned, frustrated with her friends' reactions.
"Happy birthday," Sunny and Fly said at the same time, while James continued,
"Why didn't you say anything? Gosh, we've plum forgotten in all of this exam business!"
"Well thank you, everyone," she said curtly, while quietly consuming her meal and getting lost in her thoughts. The girls didn't offer a hug. Her Mum hadn't sent a card… no one cared.
"Where were you this morning?" Lily asked Dee, feigning nonchalance as they made their way toward Charms, after lunch.
"Studying. My last Defense Against the Dark Arts exam didn't go very well. Boggarts keep immobilizing me."
"No feeling behind Riddikulus?"
"I've got a feeling, I just can't verbalize the spell when the Boggart's in form."
"What is this?" she grinned, turning to Fly.
"I have no idea," Fly replied, quite convincingly, eyeing the envelope that sat on her desk, "but it's got your name on it. You should open it."
On her desk was a gift certificate to Honeydukes, with Hagrid's name listed as the sender.
"You'll certainly use that," Fly nodded, noncommittally, making no more statements once Professor Flitwick began class.
As she descended toward the dungeons, Lily's shoulder beginning to feel the weight of her new things, she couldn't help the tears that collected in her eyes. Beside her, Sunny ambled, none the wiser to her friend's internal strife.
When they finally entered Slughorn's classroom, she found a flannel blanket with tiny Bludgers, Quaffles Snitches and brooms whizzing around it was folded gingerly on her stool. A scrap of parchment was pinned to it, reading: To keep you warm, Fly.
And involuntarily, a watery hiccup escaped her and a wide smile burst forth while she hugged Sunny, who had nothing to do with the gift.
"What are you doing?" Sunny gave her a confused frown.
"The jig is up!" she smiled, pulling the blanket around her shoulders.
Sunny stared at her for a moment, keeping her face emotionless, but after two seconds of looking Lily in the eyes, her lips twitched, and she finally had to concede.
"Ok you idiot! Of course we remembered that this was your birthday! Well, Fly and I did. My gift is coming next."
"Did you set this up?" she indicated the presentation of gifts in every class.
"Ya, it was fun watching you look so forlorn all day. You're an odd person. Only you can manage to be sad when she's given gifts all day."
History of Magic met Lily with a chocolate flavored quill, and another note attached, To encourage a taste for note-taking, for me to copy, Sunny.
By the end of the day, Edgar's gift was full with birthday presents. On her way to the Great Hall after History of Magic, Ieva found her and pulled her away from the doors in the opposite direction.
"I've gotten permission to have dinner in the Muggle Studies classroom. We can eat something special and listen to music for your birthday?"
Not having the heart to tell Ieva that she wanted Fly and Sunny with her, she followed her friend up the stairs, toward the classroom.
Swinging the door open to let Lily through first, Lily was shocked to find all of her friends packed into the classroom, grinning at her confused expression.
"Surprise!" Everyone yelled, and realization finally struck her.
The desks had been moved to the ceiling, Muggle records were playing in the background and a banner with her name on it had been strung along a row of windows.
"Well, let the festivities begin!" she finally said, after a moment, recovering her senses.
And suddenly everyone was talking to her, wishing her happy birthday, shoving presents and cards in Edgar's bag and chewing the copious amounts of snacks on the table.
"You guys!" She grinned when she finally reached Sunny and Dee.
"No!" Sunny shook her head and grinned. "The gifts were us, this party was them." She pointed at the four Marauders standing against the fireplace, each one assuming that handsomely bored look they were all famous for.
"And you?" She turned to Ieva, the sneak.
"They enlisted me. I had only gotten the gift and Sunny told me how to present it to you. She told me you'd have a lackluster response. Rude, by the way!"
"I'm sorry, I just thought…"
"Don't apologize. I get it, in hindsight." She hugged her friend before pushing her in the direction of The Marauders.
"So, this is all you?" she approached them, her hands on hips.
"Good actors, aren't we?" Peter broke character.
"Ok," she shrugged, masking her smile behind the nonchalance.
"Oh please, you looked positively woebegone!" James grinned outright, moving to her elbow her in the ribs.
"Did not," she shoved back playfully, letting her hands linger a split second on his chest.
Their playful behavior, a mutual truce, lasted later into the night after the party moved to Gryffindor tower where the firewhiskey could be passed around, undetected by the adults.
Late into the night noted quietly that James hadn't gotten her a gift, not that this party wasn't enough.
She was dancing with Edgar, firewhiskey going to her head and her resolve sloughing off. Her friends watched silently as arms halted her crazy, energetic dancing.
"James?" she breathed, whirling around slightly disoriented, unconsciously moving too close in his arms.
"I haven't given you your present," he smiled, watching her press herself closer.
"So, what is it?" she asked awkwardly, watching him with her head tilted to the side.
"This," he whispered, and in a second, she was shocked into realization.
James Potter had pulled her body to his and pressed a kiss to her lips.
At the exact same moment, someone had taken a photo, the blinding flash leaving her slightly dazed.
It was then that she realized they were still attached at the lips, with an uncontrollable heat surging her whole body, and it was in realizing this unfamiliar feeling, licking at every inch in her body, that she lost control.
She didn't realize what she'd done until she felt her hand throbbing and saw him lying on the common room floor with a small trickle of blood seeping from his split lip. She could feel her anger building, taking over the feeling that had just melted her, as she went to retrieve her wand, which had broken his fall, and was snapped in two.
Maybe she was more affected by the alcohol than she thought, but fear was overwhelming the anger that had overtaken the… whatever it had been that had kept her lips from leaving his.
She was so scared.
She was afraid of what had just happened. She was frightened of how she felt and what it meant. She was terrified of how forward he had been, how instinctive it had felt… and most of all, she was afraid of the look in his eyes as he watched her standing over him.
It was that look in his eyes that forced her in the direction of her dormitory, unable to handle the inquisitive looks of her friends as unshed tears blinded her.
"Lily…"
She heard a small voice call her from the depths of slumber.
"Lily," the voice called again. "Hey Lily, get up!"
Reality woke her and she started. Opening her eyes, she found herself lying on one of the overstuffed couches of the common room with Sunny and Fly standing over her, already dressed.
"Lily, did you sleep here all night?" Sunny wrinkled her nose.
Lily looked down at the opened book on her chest. She distinctly remembered reading by the lamplight last night… and then she wasn't. The next thing she remembered was that cold January morning.
"I guess I did," she sighed, remembering her dream. It was not her sixteenth birthday.
"Well, get up, will ya'," Fly said, stepping back to let Lily up. "Today is our last day of freedom, so we wanted to do something fun."
"Like what?" Lily yawned, ruffling back her hair that had been freed from the braids last night.
"Well, a bunch of us were going to play that game you taught us, Dodge ball, up on our brooms on the Quidditch pitch. Sunny reckons she'll take a swim in the lake, and we don't know your plans-"
"I'll join Sunny," Lily said, turning toward the girls' dormitory.
"We'll wait for you here," Sunny said, grabbing the book Lily had fallen asleep reading and flopped down on the couch.
"You'll wait for her! I'm going to be late," Fly said, grabbing her broom from where she'd left it on a couch. "Oh, and come by and watch. Tell me if you see any talent. We're looking for two new Beaters, and as new Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, I refuse to lose to Slytherin."
"Whatever," Lily shut the door to the staircase.
When she returned, Sunny was deeply engrossed in the Muggle book that she'd taken from Lily.
"You ready?" she asked, shoving a towel in her green sack.
"Oh," Sunny started, ripping her eyes away from the novel. "This story is compelling. May I borrow it?"
"Sure," Lily replied, pushing back her curls. "I've read it twice, already."
Although Sunny had moved into a seated position, she returned to the pages as Lily pulled her hair into some semblance of a hairstyle. Over the summer, Susan and Tuny had taught her to manage her long, thick, often unruly curls, after deeming Lily's unabashed tomboyishness an embarrassment to the Evans name. They had taken her to a salon where the hairdresser taught her how to control her curls and abate frizz. He'd even taught her how to straighten it, a style she'd forgone today as she was going for a swim.
"Ready," Lily announced, adjusting the elastic to the large tuft atop her head.
"Ok," Sunny pulled herself up and placing Toni Morrison's Sula in her beach bag.
When they reached the lake, Lily pulled off her t-shirt and shorts and dived into a deep part of the lake, still warm from the long summer months.
No matter how insincere Lily believed his interest in her, James always knew when she was around.
When she and Sunny exited the school, it was as if he could feel her nearness, like she lay just under his skin, alerting him to her every move.
He watched as she moved across the lawn, stopping at her favorite spot along the lake's perimeter. He watched as she stripped down to her yellow, one piece bathing suit and waited patiently for Sunny. He watched as she slipped fluidly beneath the gleaming surface, submerging herself beneath the murky depths, leaving only a few bubbles of foam in her wake.
He was immersed in her movements as she gracefully made her way across the lake, extending perfect limb after perfect limb as she swam languidly. Wisps of curls clinging to her wet neck, water filling the space in her décolletage, her lips dark pink against her pale skin, just begging to be bit-
WHAM!
"James, where's your head at?" Fly's shriek ripped through the air.
With the pain of a bruised side and a ringing in his head from her shrill voice, a loud groan doubled him to a slump on his broom. He didn't know why she was taking this so seriously. Term hadn't even begun and she was already critiquing their flying techniques. They weren't even scheduled to begin Quidditch practice for a good three weeks and she was already scouting players.
If there was ever a word that he would use to describe Delia Flynn, it would be intense. Or maybe obsessive. From the first day that they'd met, he'd been blown away by her presence. Even now, she only stood at five foot three, shorter than all of her friends, and yet her volatility was well-known throughout Hogwarts. Her reproach was only rivaled by Lily, when upset.
"Man, what were you staring at?" Caleb, the Gryffindor Seeker, asked moving toward him. "You were like, in a daze."
If there was one word that James would use to describe Caleb Krugal, it would be inept. Caleb made his way through life baffling everyone in his incompetence. His only saving grace was his skill at spotting the elusive golden ball. Because on the Quidditch pitch, it didn't matter that Caleb was a dimwit. His only obvious skill kept the Gryffindor team competitive.
"Sorry," he sighed, rubbing his side and turning back to the game.
There were about thirty players on the field, all from different houses, flying in two large groups, opposing one another with about eight Quaffles between them. He knew most of the players, there were Fly, Sirius, Caleb and Blag Wren (Gryffindor's Keeper). Then there were Suze Hermit, Imogene Foster, Rafe Leppy and Horatio Smirth, who were all Ravenclaw's, but only Imogene and Rafe were on their house's team. There were also Bryan Corner, Mercutio and Benvolio Capulet (who were twins), Catalina Lo, Pierce Peters and Julius Carone, who were all in Hufflepuff and all were on their team. Then there were two Slytherin's he couldn't name and the rest were younger years.
"Whatever," Fly groaned, calling the game back into play. Soon there was a shower of Quaffles darting around the Quidditch field, trying to hit opposing players and knock them off their brooms.
By the end of many games, James was being knocked off his broom more than he was comfortable with. Everyone had become aware of his vulnerability and attacked him, sparing no mercy. For Lily Evans was lounging in the stands with Sunny- doing just as Fly asked and surveying the players- creating saccharine scripts to tell Fly that James should be, perhaps, excused from the team, using today's demonstration as evidence.
When Fly had finally blown her whistle James hurtled to the ground and sprinted into the locker room for a quick shower. He knew as soon as everyone had heard how horribly he'd performed at a simple Muggle game no one would let it go.
"Merlin, what the hell was wrong with you today?" Fly bombarded him as he climbed through the portrait hole.
"I got distracted," he answered, not even managing to pick up his head to respond.
"By what, a cloud? A bird? A blade of grass?" She practically yelled. "If you're going to get 'distracted' like this during a game I won't be liable for the pounding I give you."
"Fly, it was a bloody game," he seethed, matching his anger with her disappointment. "It was a bloody Muggle game, stop trying to turn everything into a Quidditch match! So I messed up, it was a GAME!"
"Well, to you it may have been only a game-"
"Fly, it was a game to everyone else. If you want to blame someone for ruining something, blame yourself for making it uncomfortable. Everyone was having fun until you started taking things too seriously." He groaned, moving to his dormitory.
Entering the room he shared with his friends, it was empty, save for Peter Pettigrew and Edgar Bones.
Peter was none other than the fourth Marauder, and had arrived this morning via Portkey to Hogsmeade.
It seemed, his new baby sister had taken ill, so he wasn't able to catch the train and had sent an excuse for his late return.
"Hey Prongs," Peter smiled while folding a shirt.
"Nice to have you back Wormtail," he replied, falling backwards onto his four poster; his eyes shifting to the ceiling.
"Do you know where the others are?"
"Padfoot's taking a shower from our game, and last I saw Moony, was at breakfast."
Peter's membership as part of the exclusive group was misconstrued to most. Most felt he was inessential. If one deconstructed The Marauders to their base components, four male friends, it is easy to agree with most of the school. While Sirius, James and Remus stood at respectable heights, had thin builds, were various ranges of athletic, and demonstrated superior skill in their own rights, Peter did not fit. Peter was short, only a few inches taller than Fly, slightly overweight, overly nervous, and with no specific talent. His blond hair was cut close to his head, in the shape of a bowl, his eyes watery blue, and everything about him seeming round and imprecise. Many of their peers wondered why The Marauders even bothered with this mediocre mate.
But the boys ignored their peer's ill-informed observations. Peter's reputation with strangers held no grounding in reality. James, Sirius and Lupin would trust Peter with their lives, his loyalty never wavering, even when commonsense forced him to run. He may not have fit the group in appearance, but in a group such as The Marauders, fidelity and discretion reigned.
"What's wrong with you?" Edgar asked aloud.
If anyone was looking for a more fitting substitution for Peter, they would finger Edgar Bones. Edgar had shared the same room with the boys from first year. Born to a well respected wizarding family, like James and Sirius, he demonstrated spectacular skill in Charm work. He was smart and reclusive, hanging out with a select group of friends and preferring not to stray from his comfort zone.
Many people believed that Edgar would have better fit the role as the fourth Marauder. He was tall, lanky with shoulder length shaggy blond hair and thickly cut sideburns. His eyes were blue and framed by oversized glasses.
Perhaps it was his good breeding that kept the Marauders from ever considering him in their antics. Considering how long they had been flatmates, Edgar still remained oblivious to their exploits. He slept like a rock and didn't insert himself in other's business, indicating that he had no interest in what they were up to.
And it was that incessant curiosity that made a Marauder.
"It's nothing, just Delia," James groaned, flipping over to his stomach. "She's being a major bitch again, and today it's getting on my nerves."
"Good morning, Tiger," Sirius grinned, grabbing the muffin from her hand and taking a bite.
"Die," she groaned, grabbing another muffin and shooting him her patented Lily glare, daring him to try again.
As soon as Sirius entered the Great Hall, about one-third of the female population took notice (the male population wasn't counted, this being 1976), hoping to catch his eye. Her platonic friendship with The Marauders had long been established, but didn't serve to quell the glances of derision whenever she was in their presence. Especially in the years since the boys had hit puberty and had become more skilled at their handsomely debonair veneers, there was an unrelenting tension between most of the female population and Lily, Sunny and Fly.
"Tiger Lily, why so glum?" he grinned, knowing full well that Lillian Evans was not a morning person. In fact, one morning, after he'd thoroughly annoyed her, she'd made that point crystal clear by bewitching away his mouth.
"Padfoot," she smiled, sweetness dripping thickly from her tightly pulled lips, "if you don't shut up, I will shut you up."
"Fair enough, lovely," he grinned, taking another bite of her first muffin.
Just then, Fly, Sunny, Remus, Peter and James entered the room, making a beeline for her and Sirius. While Lily's glance at their approach held for less than a millisecond, James's hand had already gotten lost in his hair.
"Hey guys," Peter said while spooning eggs onto his plate.
Sirius snatched a piece of bacon from Lily's plate and munched.
"Sirius, if you ever want to keep your hands, I'll advise you to stop taking from my plate," she groaned. "Steal from Sunny, she's not liable to eat half of it anyway."
"Hey," Sunny called, affronted by Lily's implication. "I might… eventually," conceding to reality.
"Here are your schedules," Gia Briggs, half of Gryffindor's newly appointed perfects said, handing them blank schedules. "You should line up now, if you want to make it to class on time." She indicated the small queues of sixth years consulting with their head's of houses over class schedules, O.W.L. results, and concentrations.
No one said anything as Gia moved away, and no one moved in the direction of Professor McGonagall. Without words the group acknowledged that they all were disinterested in starting the academic part of the year.
When the hall began to clear, and the line had significantly reduced, they finally relented, forming a queue behind Mildred Quiglesby.
"Ugh," Lily groaned, as they stood in a circle, some time later, comparing schedules. "Double Arithmancy this morning, followed by double Potions after lunch and Herbology. I don't even get Charms to start off my week!"
"Hey, that's my schedule too!" James beamed, grabbing the schedule from her hands. "In fact, that's my exact schedule. We've got all our lessons together!"
"Yay," Lily deadpanned, snatching the parchment from him and looking at her friends hopefully.
"Well I've got Care of Magical Creatures and Muggle Studies this morning," Fly offered, "but I'll see you for Potions."
Lily pushed out her lower lip, pouting at Fly.
"Don't worry, Lils, Remus and I share your schedule, as well," Sirius grinned, loving her changing reactions, going from annoyed to stricken.
"Does anyone have classes on Friday?" Sunny asked aloud, after comparing a few schedules.
They all shook their heads after consulting their schedules.
"Does that mean all sixth years get a day off?"
They all shrugged. Sunny ran to a nearby group of Hufflepuff's and looked at their schedules.
"We all have Fridays off!"
"Whoo, hoo!" Peter yelled at the top of his lungs, causing a few raised eyebrows to be tossed their way.
"By the way," Lily asked, before they dispersed per their schedules. "Who got an 'Outstanding' in Herbology?"
Sirius, Peter, Sunny, James and Remus all raised their hands.
"Well," she faltered, surprised by all the raised hands. "Well- well good. I'm going to need someone to tutor me. I got an E in Herbology and my Mum went ballistic. My O.W.L.s arrived the same morning I blew up the alarm clock. She said if I didn't receive a perfect N.E.W.T. in Herbology, she was going to erase me from existence."
"Well, why worry now? Sixth year is the bridge year to the N.E.W.T.s." James responded.
"I know," she sighed. "But she's a botanist. She can't understand for the life of her how I didn't get top grades in Herbology. She was so mad, making me work double in the flower shop this summer with reduced pay!"
"But Muggle Herbology isn't the same," Sunny began.
"I told her I'm not dealing with poppies and geraniums. I kept telling her about Devil's Snare, Mandrakes, and Gillyweed, but she kept yelling and saying no matter what, I should have passed. And she said something more about growing being in my blood and shaming the family by failing at its foundation."
"But you didn't fail!" Sunny tried again.
"But I didn't get perfect either, in the only subject she'd count," she reopened her schedule to check the Arithmancy class time.
Peter took her cue to check his watch,
"Guys, we gotta' get going, we don't want to be late for our first lesson."
"That's what you think," Fly groaned, grabbing Peter's arm and leading him toward Care of Magical Creatures.
"Don't worry, Lily," Lupin wrapped his arm around her shoulder, leading her toward Arithmancy. "I'll try to keep the peace."
She groaned aloud at his empty promise, having too much familiarity with Lupin's attempts at controlling his friends.
TBC…
A/N: Everyone's together now… How do you like it?