Why Lily Fell
By Yo-yo
A/N: I decided to release this as a gift: Merry Christmas, Happy Festivus, Chanukah, and Kwanzaa, happy belated Eid al-Adha and happy Holiday (for those Pastafarians). I know that does not cover all the bases, but I hope you can appreciate the sentiment and apply it to all.
Corridor Collisions:
"Mr. Snape, is there a reason why you've chosen to grace your very first N.E.W.T. Potions class in such a state?"
Slughorn's question quelled the din of the newly assembled class. Everyone turned to look at the door, and snickering reanimated them.
"Excuse me?" Snape ripped his eyes from the scrap of parchment he'd been perusing.
Louder snickering followed his confused look in the direction of the professor.
"Well, I never thought you the pink, blue, and purple type of wizard," Slughorn explained.
Lily had been engrossed in her copy of the Daily Prophet, but upon catching the end of Slughorn's remark, she swiveled around in her stool, only to catch her breath and cover her lips to muffle a few escaped giggles.
Severus Snape's once black, greasy hair, waxy, pallid skin, and colorless lips had been bewitched to resemble some sort of harried go-go dancer. His hair was now an obscene shade of pink, fluffed in a bouffant and curled outward at the ends, his eyes seemed as though they'd been attacked by an eye shadow brush, the blue color stippled imprecisely in the eye region of his face, and his lips were unevenly circled with purple lipstick, resembling a clown's smile.
Grabbing the outstretched compact from a fellow Slytherin, Crist Berry, anger flushed the skin beneath the color, and his eyes moved first to James, Sirius, Peter and Remus, sitting in the back of the class, then quickly to Lily, who looked away, refusing to meet his gaze.
"Who did this?" the words slowly escaped his clinched teeth, his eyes back to The Marauders.
Lily, along with the entire class, followed his gaze to the four boys settled easily in their seats.
Comically, they all were tilted backwards, an air of nonchalance marking them guilty as they seemed to be lost in their own innocuous pursuits, oblivious to the situation.
"Potter," Professor Slughorn implored, quietly. "Did you have anything to do with this?"
Starting at his name, James offered huge, wide hazel eyes to the Professor.
"Excuse me, Professor? I didn't catch that. I am engrossed in the introduction to the Redigo Draught," he began, emphasizing his puppy-dog expression. "Did you know that Epstein Katan first successfully bottled the solution? Everyone before him kept using the wrong containers, and as the solution seeped out or dissolved them, they would accidentally come in contact with the solution, shrinking before they could find the suitable container. Fascinating!"
"Of course I do," Slughorn straightened as if offended by the insinuation. "But I would like to know if you had anything to do with Mr. Snape's sudden predilection toward rouge."
James finally turned to look at Snape, faking an expression of shock as he rocked precariously in his tilted seat.
"Blimey! Snape, what an improvement to your face!"
"Mr. Potter," Slughorn began, testily, as Snape made a move in their direction. "Mr. Snape, please."
"Well," James smirked, eyeing the impotent Snape before quickly glancing at Lily and running his fingers through his hair. "Would you like the truth or would you like the TRUTH?" he asked, emphasizing the latter to demonstrate its distinction.
"The latter would suffice," Slughorn answered evenly.
"Although Snape's cross-dressing appears an impr-"
James's admission was unable to be heard over the roar of students' hysterics. Apparently, James's choice of wording, specifically the words "cross-dressing," prompted an inactive charm that began to inflate two round mounds under Snape's robes.
"A significant improvement," Sirius agreed slapping James a five at Snape's inflating breasts.
James in response breathed on his fingernails, buffing them on his robes, smugly admitting his work.
Turning away from the scene, a mixture of disappointment, annoyance and anger pressed Lily further into her seat.
James was never going to change.
Over indulgence in his upbringing had left him overly confident. Ever the show off, his arrogance was never more apparent until he was practicing his favorite pastime, condescending someone.
James was skilled at exploiting people's flaws. He'd done it a million times.
His particular rivalry with Snape seemed most cruel. James didn't care that Snape's means weren't as vast as his own. It didn't occur to James that working hard, as Snape did in his studies, was nobler than flaunting his gifts, as Potter did without shame. It didn't even seem to matter to James that perhaps Lily's old friendship with Snape was grounded in the fact that what she admired most about Snape were the things that put him in opposition to James.
James's haughty showmanship put a bad taste in Lily's mouth.
In his essence, he was no better than Snape. He had no problem hurting someone who stood in his way. He felt no empathy for the cruelty he inflicted. He found no issue with treating anyone as he saw fit. This apathy came so easily to him. He seemed to enjoy putting other people down and exposing their faults.
Sure they had ended their friendship last term, when she had finally become unable to overlook the darker influences that caused him to call her a racial epithet, but he was still a human being.
And she still felt sorry for him, no matter how cruel he'd been to her.
He'd always sat by himself, from that first day when they'd been sorted into different houses. He'd mask the loneliness by pouring over his studies, always lost in one book or another, but she saw. He had no real friends. Even his fellow Slytherins, Mulciber, Avery and Nott, weren't really friendly to him. They didn't associate with him after classes, in the corridors or during free periods. When he sat at the Slytherin table during meals, with three hundred students surrounding him, he still seemed so utterly alone. No one stuck up for him when The Marauders played their vicious pranks on him (anymore, she had before). No one seemed to acknowledge the he even existed. He fought alone for a place that no one seemed willing to offer.
And their peers reveled in their rivalry. They were too brainless to check their laughter and find out why they used James's and Snape's hostility as entertainment.
She'd found their complete dislike macabre for the whole of the time that she'd known both boys.
Everyone was still laughing at The Marauder's joke when an idea struck her. Pulling her back straight and letting a secret smile curl her lips, she allowed herself to look back at The Marauders again. Her eyes swiveled back to James, Remus, Peter and Sirius. They were all leaning back in their stools with anti-toppling charms keeping them upright. James was still buffing his nails on his robes, the picture of innocence. Remus's nose was buried in a book, suspiciously oblivious to the commotion in the room. Peter was looking around the room, whistling the chorus to Geist Heist's "Magic in my Attic." And Sirius had stretched his long legs before him on his desk with a look of boredom consuming his beautiful eyes, beneath the curtain of black hair.
Mumbling quietly under her breath, she pointed her wand at the precariously tilted quartet.
Suddenly,
CRASH!
The entire classroom erupted in a new wave of hysterical laughter.
James, Sirius, Peter and Remus had simultaneously crashed down, ruining their cool façade.
Lily stifled the laughter rising within her. She loved their looks of total confusion as they struggled from their fallen positions and straightened their seats.
"That was hilarious!" Mildred grinned, looking back at Lily.
"You'd think Potter would have thought to put an anti-topple charm on his chair." Lily frowned slightly, her smile too big to actually fake the emotion.
"Class, class," Professor Slughorn called, within the sea of laughter, "Calm down please. We need to start lessons. Potter, Black, Pettigrew and Lupin, detention after dinner, you know where."
Snape shot them a withering glare as Slughorn flicked his wand and the pink hair, caked on make-up, and still-sprouting breasts were returned to their initial greasy hair, paled skin, and scrawny frame.
The Marauder's nodded whilst reciprocating Snape's glare.
"Today was easy," Lily grinned, popping a chocolate frog leg into her mouth, "No homework."
"For the first day back, today was pretty uneventful," Sunny grinned, having heard about the Marauder's fall sometime during the day.
"Well, I'll tell you one thing," Fly declared, "if Potter and Black think they are going to lose it on a broom like they did in Slughorn's class, then they've got another thing coming. I'm not coaching a team of losers."
Lily and Sunny both rolled their eyes.
That had become Delia's mantra over the past few months.
Delia Flynn was the only girl on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and made sure that everyone knew it. When Ravi Khan- last year's captain- had passed over the title, she'd made it perfectly clear that just because she was a girl it didn't mean that she would be in any way sympathetic. She'd also made it perfectly clear that Delia Flynn's team was going to be the best Gryffindor team in Hogwart's history. She even began a rule that if existing team players didn't excel during tryouts, she'd exchange the players for "better" ones.
"You're too obsessed with Quidditch," Lily said, tearing off the frog's head.
"Just because you're not interested in flying doesn't mean the rest of the world can't be. I'm sorry I'm not so interested in lose-ball!"
"It's football, and it's a great sport!" Lily frowned, sucking the melted chocolate from her finger. "If you're going to mock me, then I'm not going to teach you that charm I created for playing Muggle records."
"I'll be nice!" Fly squeaked.
She loved Muggle music.
"You guys are late." Fly stated as James, Sirius and Peter settled into their seats at Gryffindor table.
"We're sorry, MOTHER!" Sirius frowned, simultaneously spooning mashed potatoes and leaning over her for the pitcher of pumpkin juice.
"Your hair is mussed and you've got lipstick on your neck," she observed, "and a newly blooming hickey."
"Blimey!" He groaned, settling down the pitcher to feel for the hickey with his hand. "I told her to stop. Merlin, she gets on my nerves."
"Then why do you waste your time with her?" Lily asked, not knowing who they were talking about.
"Because she's willing and I'm able." He replied, filching a piece of broccoli from her plate.
"Guys…" Lily sighed, "a life form I'll never understand."
"We're not at all difficult to get, Lily," Remus shot her a knowing look. "We'll do anything to get laid. It's you girls that are so bloody difficult."
"So that's why you guys are all late?" Sunny asked, taking a spoonful of Sirius's mashed potatoes.
"No," Peter piped in. "Sirius and James were snogging in the corridors. And I had to finish a letter to my Mum."
"Why couldn't you wait until after dinner?" Lily asked, seeming unfazed by James's escapades with an unknown girl.
"We've got detentions with Slughorn. He'll be less accommodating if we're late."
"I guess you guys are used to it," Sunny began, "but I'd freak if I got detention on my first day of lessons."
"Actually, it's our first time," James managed through a mouthful of bread.
"Ewww, James, close your mouth when you- Wow! She hoovered you!"
"What does that mean?" he asked, turning to Lily.
"On your neck! She sucked on you like a hoover." She said, turning him toward her and touching the angry hickey forming on his skin. "Man, I've never seen one that large. Even when Petunia came home late that one time, after curfew and my parents found a huge hickey on her shoulder- it wasn't that large! Merlin, you must taste really goo-"
Her eyes grew wide as she caught herself before she said what she was just about to say.
"I mean, she must have really liked you," she moved her fingers away and sat forward, facing Remus.
"What was that Tiger Lily?" Sirius asked, his cheeks full of food as his mouth stretched wide in a grin.
"N- nothing! I just, I just said that she must have l- liked him." She faltered, her eyes falling to her food.
"I'm sure Potty, here, wouldn't mind giving you a private tasting." He whispered in her ear, just loud enough for both parties to hear.
"Oh God!" she groaned, her cheeks aflame as she clenched her eyes shut, praying she was only trapped in a dream. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!" she whispered to herself, willing herself back in her four-poster, with all the probing eyes gone.
"Are you admitting that you dream about me?" Potter murmured from her other side, a small smirk curling his lips as he watched her body trembled softly in his close proximity.
"So, what's a hoover?" Sunny offered, trying to alleviate Lily's embarrassment.
"Well, I'm full," Lily said, pushing away her plate and standing from her seat.
"You barely ate," James smiled, loving the way she blushed.
"I'm sure she's just picture you and Sirius snogging in the corridors and it upset her stomach," Fly said, standing herself. "It's definitely turning mine," she frowned turning to Lily. "Shall we be off?"
"Indubitably, old chap!" Lily grinned, hooking arms with Fly and leaving the Great Hall.
"What was that in front of your house?" a familiar voice overtook her as she stood in the corridor, inspecting the etchings on one of the armor costumes.
"Excuse me, I am on official perfects business, and thus wouldn't like to be disturbed. If you have a complaint-"
"You've been avoiding me," Snape moved into her line of sight and continued, "That stunt he pulled in Potions the other day, doesn't offend you, but I get cast aside?"
"Who do you have a problem with, me or Potter?" She kept her eyes trained on the suit of armor, her fingers running over the intricate details, "Because I can't control him. If you have a problem with me, I may be able to help you. But if this is really about someone else, please direct your inquires someplace else."
"You've been avoiding me."
"That's not a question."
"Why have you been avoiding me?"
"You've just insinuated that you know something about me, you should know the answer to that!"
"You're mistaken-"
"Should I keep you in my favor when you've insulted me, to my face, in public?"
"I didn't mean it-"
"But you said it, Severus…" She finally met his eyes.
"I was caught up in the moment-"
"And you couldn't think to censor yourself? If our friendship ever depended on censorship, it was never a friendship to begin with. If you felt the need, at any time, to censor that rubbish, then it probably meant that it was a sentiment you shared. And if it is true, that you feel that way, then your friendship with me could never have allowed an exception, thus, our friendship would have had to be annulled. I feel as though this isn't the first time we've spoken about this. And from what I can remember of the last time, I asked to be left alone. I was hoping you would at least give me that, after insulting my very existence." She maintained her even composure as Remus turned the corner and approached hearing range.
"Oh look, there's my friend Remus. He's just nipped to the loo. I was waiting for him. We are taking our rounds and I must advise you to head toward your dormitory. Curfew is approaching."
A look of confusion followed her last few words to Snape as Remus stood beside her.
"Lily, are you alright?" He asked as she kept her eyes trained on him, away from Snape.
"Yes, a Slytherin chose to keep me company as I waited for you. I was just explaining, although kind, the action was quite unnecessary."
Gathering her tone, Remus assumed her manner and spoke to Snape,
"Thank you, but I'm here now."
Snape's demeanor was not improved in the company of a Marauder, but the added presence did force him to retreat, but not before uttering,
"Your decisions will have dangerous consequences."
"What's he on about?" Remus asked, also in the process of watching Snape depart.
"I haven't the slightest…" Lily frowned, the confrontation affecting her more than she let on.
"Shit!" she gasped, jerking her hand from the Virulent Vine.
Its razor sharp leaves lunged out at her, catching her arm and leaving a large, angry gash in its wake.
"Miss Evans, are you alright?" Professor Bloom asked, his magnifying glasses making him look overwhelmed in the ocular department.
"I'm fine," she managed between clenched teeth, holding her arm out for him.
"Fortunately for you, these vines haven't reached maturity. They are nowhere near as potent as they will be in the spring. Mr. Potter, will you please escort Miss Evans to the Infirmary?"
"Sure," he jumped up from his lounging position, setting aside his YWM (Young Wizard's Magazine).
Following her from greenhouse number three, Potter placed his hand on her lower back and led her toward the Nurse's quarters.
"Now, Lily Evans, why would you be fooling around with a Virulent Vine anyway?" He asked as they made their way to the second floor.
"I wasn't fooling around with anything," she groaned, wiggling from his grasp. "I was trying to follow instructions and juice them. We need the essence for our Veritaserum for Potions next week."
"But the Vine was lashing out at you-"
"That's kind of their deal," she breathed.
"Why didn't you ask for help?"
"I didn't need anyone's help-"
"Merlin, that's your bloody problem, id'nit?" James whispered virulently.
Taken aback by his outburst, she couldn't help the visceral reaction that laced her voice with anger and surprise,
"What?"
"You never ask for help. Lily Evans is so hell bent on doing it all on her own, no matter how willingly others are to offer their services. That's why you didn't get an O in Herbology last year, you kept-"
"I don't ask for help, Potter, because I don't need help. Especially from the likes of you!" she countered, her eyes flickering green flames.
"And why not me?" He was gaining momentum, anger and something else turning his eyes that uncategorized dark color that they became when these moments erupted between them. "And to think of the way you spent your summer, all because-"
"What?" Her eyes narrowed at his implication. "What do you know about my summer?"
"Fly told me."
"Told you what?" She stopped in the middle of the corridor to face him.
"She told me you spent the summer working for your Mum, not because of your O.W.L., but because you had to pay your parents back for the wand they purchased from Ollivander last winter…"
"What business of that is yours?"
"It's my fault…"
"How is it your fault that the wizarding economy doesn't favor Muggles? How is it your fault that it's expensive to have a wizard in the family?"
"It's my fault because I broke your wand."
"I broke your lip, it was a fair exchange," she laughed, "And it wasn't like you grabbed my wand to break your fall…"
"But I could have paid for it. You didn't have to spend your summer like that-"
"What's wrong with how I spent my summer?" She frowned. "I know that it's unfamiliar to you to have to work for anything, but it's what I do. It's where I'm from. That's how my family-"
"That's not the point, the point is, you'd do anything, including spend a whole summer working to pay back an expense you should never have incurred in the first place, instead of ask me for help," the irritation returning to his voice.
"James-" she began, frustration rising from his insinuation.
"No, Lily, I've been wondering this for a long time now. I'm the top of the class and a fellow Gryffindor. Merlin, all of your friends are my friends. I am just under your nose. I've always been right here. Why won't you… what do you really think of me? Are you afraid of me?" By the end, his voice had taken on an eerie silence; his yes looked down at her with a dangerous stillness.
"It's not that…" she whispered.
"Then what in the hell keeps you from actually acknowledging me as a human being?" He came back shouting.
She visually started from this flare of emotion, but in a moment, she had found her footing,
"Because in all of the time I've known you, you've never shown any predilection toward the human condition. You literally see others as non-essential. You actually believe rules don't apply to you. You proudly carry your pompous, ignorant and vile opinions toward others as though it's a badge. Where do you get off treating people that way? Who taught you to act as though you reigned in the halls?"
"I don't-"
"But you do… and you think no one can see." She was shouting, too. "…those bloody pranks! I don't know how anyone can put up with that egoTESTical affliction of yours! That stunt you pulled in Potions last week, it wasn't funny. It was mean. It was degrading and humiliating and I'm so sad that you think it's ok to hurt people like that. I find it so- God, infuriating that you would actually do something like that as a form of entertainment. Thank God I knocked you off your high pedestal. You'd probably still be grinning like a fucking berk for humiliating Snape like that!"
"What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice low and cool now.
Lifting her chin and meeting his eyes, she stood taller before she said,
"I knocked you out of your seats."
"You WHAT?"
"You heard me, 'I KNOCKED YOU OUT OF YOUR SEATS!'"
"Why?" he growled, his eyes burrowing into hers.
"Because I-"
Before she could finish her response, her eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted.
"Shit!" Potter caught her before she fell. "Double Shit!" he groaned, lifting her in his arms and speeding toward the Nurse's quarter.
"Hey Lil," Sunny said, beside her hospital bed. "I heard you got hurt."
"It's no big deal," Lily faked a smile, while pushing herself into a seated position. "Just a simple cut."
"What happened? James freaked out and won't tell anyone anything. Right now he's sitting in the common room staring at the fire. Did he do something?" Fly asked from Lily's other side, her brown eyes wide behind her glasses.
"We had an argument, nothing major." Lily pushed her curls from her warm face. "I guess me getting so revved up, coupled with the fact that I'd gotten injured by a poisonous plant just overloaded my system. I fainted."
"She said she'll only keep you for the night. You'll be up tomorrow," Sunny nodded.
"James is really freaked," Fly said, looking down at her friend, not believing for a second that she was fine. But she knew the subject of James was a sensitive one and didn't want to press her.
"Tell him I'll be fine. He didn't do anything to cause this. We can continue the stupid argument tomorrow." She groaned, not wanting to talk about Potter.
"Ladies, your ten minutes are up," Madame Pomphrey called, coming in to shoo the girls away. "Talk to her tomorrow."
After they said their goodbyes and left the room, Lily sighed and faced the wall. She had been wrong, she knew that. She didn't know where her anger flared from, or his.
Thinking back, she tried to recall a time when he'd made her mad enough to feel this way. But the only thing she could recall was something… something about snogging in the corridors.
TBC…
A/N: Hope you like it… Getting heated between these two… and going to get pretty hot soon.
With love,
Yo-yo