Why Lily Fell
-By Yo-yo
A/N: Emily, Echantedwords17, and Go. Marauders. And. Lily, thanks again. Your reviews have been so helpful and make me so so happy.
Also, my newest story, Jagged Red Pill is out. Here's the description:
Lily Evans has been quietly training to be an Auror for three years. Now that she's been accepted, Voldemort and his minions will learn that this recruit is one tough pill to swallow. Suspense/Adventure/Romance/Humor Rating: M
Chapter 8- What You Can't Control:
When they'd first snuck down to the Shrieking Shack at twilight it hadn't seemed any different than any other night. Under the safety of the Invisibility Cloak, The Marauders went from the castle, down the opening at the Whomping Willow, through the long passageway, to the door that opened to the Shrieking Shack.
Like normal, they'd begun their journey an hour after Remus transformed, giving him ample time to become reacquainted with the room of his transformation, and making sure that Madame Pomfrey was thoroughly settled in her office in the Infirmary. It was only as they made their approach when things began to get scary.
That was when they noticed the stillness in the passageway as they changed, making their way toward the door. For long moments, only hooves, paws and feet could be heard until the stillness was pierced by Remus's excruciating cries. With that, they rushed to the door, their hearts racing as they imagined every possible situation that could cause such a reaction, their hearts heavy with fear. The trashing, growling, scratching and bumping made the situation feel that much graver. Then suddenly…
Everything was quiet again.
There were no more screams. No more sounds of scratching. No more heaving, except the ones escaping their lips. No more of anything. Instead, they realized that they feared the silence more than the commotion.
As if inspired by an imaginary crackle of lightening, all three Marauders burst into action, reclaiming human form and began trying to break down the door.
In procurement of the property, Dumbledore placed security features on all of the exits. This particular door was outfitted with two locks. One lock could only be unlatched from the passageway, for Madame Pomfrey to secure when she came and went. The other lock could only be undone from the room, designed only for hands smaller than a child's, making so that no wizard, nor werewolf, could escape the building designed for solitude. Which is why after many moments that resulted only in bruised shoulders, Peter thought quickly, transforming into a rat, wriggling under the door and unlocked the door from the inside, a feat he'd done every night of the full moon.
When finally the door swung open, both James and Sirius stumbled in almost comically, but regained themselves quickly, and transformed back, in precaution of Remus's silence. Even in his current state, the menacing character of a werewolf when humans were present was never to be overlooked.
The castle was still, frozen cold as if omitting them entrance through the deserted halls. The cold air pressed down on her chest, restricting her breathing so her breaths came out short and labored.
The only sound came from their muffled footsteps and a weary wind echoing from remote parts of the castle.
"Potter!" Lily hissed, chasing the silhouette of his head as it floated swiftly down the stairs and through passages she'd never known existed (pretty sure that very few knew they existed). He ducked beneath tapestries, jumped onto invisible staircases and through hidden doors. She tried to remember each turn, each secret passageway, each animated object, and each curve, but soon found her brain overwhelmed with information that in seconds became inconsequential.
"Keep up, Evans!" James groaned, taking a hold of her hand and pulling her through the large tapestry.
"Where are you taking me?"
And suddenly, they were outside the castle.
"How'd you do that?" she gasped, turning in the direction of the Grand Entrance, the only entryway she'd known.
"Magic," he managed, dashing for the Whomping Willow, gripping her hand slightly tighter.
"What happened?" she asked as they scurried beneath the frozen limbs of the beautiful tree and entered the long, dark earthen passageway that eventually led into the Shrieking Shack where the boys usually spent the nights of the full moon.
"I dunno, he just freaked out." He explained, plunging deeper in the impenetrable darkness.
"What do you mean, 'freaked out'?" she said, his hand and the direction of his voice guiding her in the complete darkness.
"I don't know what exactly happened. We got to the door. He was bad, but quiet. Next thing, he's banging into the walls as though he's being thrown by some spirit. It was sickening, the thuds we'd heard, the noises he was making.
"I didn't know who to call. Madame Pomfrey would come, but I wouldn't know how to explain all this. Neither Pomfrey nor Dumbledore knows about us. And we're not supposed to know about the lycanthropy either. And I know that you've studied this stuff, because you plan on being a Healer and all…"
She stopped abruptly, letting her hand fall from his and absorbed the information. In a moment, she was yelling:
"No way! No no no no no, no no no! There is no bloody way in hell I can do this! I wouldn't know where to start! I warned you guys the night you transformed. I said, I wouldn't be able to help if you got yourself in trouble. Remember, I was so against this in the first place, this is so dangerous-"
"This is why you've followed Marlene McKinnon's work with werewolves since the day you learned about his fuzzy little problem. You know what to do. Stop doing that thing where you force people to undermine you so you can overwhelm them with your greatness. You're already spectacular, Lily. Please go and help your friend."
"Yesterday, I hated you."
"Lily, if you didn't know, the feeling was never reciprocated. Besides, I will always set aside my arrogance where the people I love are concerned," he felt for her hand and laced their fingers.
Thankful he couldn't see her expression, a smile touched her lips as she hurried past him through the entrance, pulling him behind her.
When she entered the room she found Sirius and Peter, in human form, sitting on the patched, overstuffed couch in the main room. Both boys had their eyes trained on a door off the room.
It was her first time in the Shack. Although she knew this was Remus's transformation headquarters, because she was unable to transform, she was never so much as allowed near the Whomping Willow.
The room was in complete disarray. The furniture was highly distressed, rips and holes pushing stuffing through every soft surface. Scratches marred all hard surfaces. In corners, up high out of the reach of the boys and their animal counterparts, there were breakables. Few doors led off to other rooms and perhaps a corridor leading to another exit to let them out near the Forbidden Forest, but with their eyes trained at one, she knew it might be the room of his transformation.
"What happened?" James asked, disrupting the stillness, causing both boys to start.
"Nothing," Pete whispered, his watery eyes skittering over the closed door that was ominously silent.
"It's scary, man," Sirius breathed, fear clouding his beautiful eyes. "He hasn't moved for like 15 minutes."
"What state was he in when you moved him?"
"He'd turned back to himself," Sirius breathed, "I don't know what that means."
"With the moon still out, that's bad," Lily shrugged, "although it makes it easier for me. He won't attack."
"C'mon," James said bravely, tightening his hold on her hand while moving to the door, building courage and breathing, "Alohomora."
The door clicked open.
Their eyes fell to the solitary figure, lying on the floor, only the slight movement of breath confirming life. Before anyone could say anything, Lily broke from James's steel grip and flung herself beside her dear friend.
"Remus, wake up!" she cried, tears tumbling down her cheeks as she leaned over him, gently stroking his beautiful face.
He was curled into a tight ball, like yarn, his limbs enfolded into one another, as if his body never ended flowing into the next extremity. His skin was almost a transparent white with angry scratches, bites and gashes glowing brilliant red all over his skin. His beautiful features were contorted into the most painful expression she'd ever seen, his lips molded into a frown so deep that it seemed etched in his countenance. He reminded her of a newborn, the way he curled in the fetal position, his body free from adornment and his-
"Can't you find him some clothes?" she barked, her cheeks burning.
There was scuttling behind her as she stripped off her jacket and wrapped it around his waist.
Grabbing her wand from her pocket, she conjured a small basin of warm water with a washcloth. Paying no mind to her observers, she began to gently clean his wounds.
"Do you need help?" James asked, watching her in awe.
She didn't hear him as her face leaned down to examine him. Her glowing skin was a clear contrast from her dark red hair, falling like a curtain over her face, hiding her expression. In a moment, she had tucked a side of her hair behind her ear, opening her countenance to James.
Tears held in her eyes as she glided the cloth over his skin, careful to clean the skin around his wounds, but not touch them. She cared for him with a reverence one would show only for someone deeply loved. How could he ever be jealous of her relationship with Remus; from the way she leaned over him, like a sister caring for her little brother, he knew she would never see Remus the way that James wanted her to see him.
James watched as she moved over his body, mentally noting each hiss and flinch, careful not to touch that spot again.
"Lily?" he whispered, finally.
She followed the direction of his voice, finally looking up at him. But for a moment she blinked, as if unseeing, forgetting for a moment where she was and who she was with.
"Lily, do you need any help?" James asked again.
She shook her head of the clouds, the situation registering itself again and a small smile touched her lips.
"Yea, sorry."
Turning away from Remus a bit, she conjured a piece of parchment and began to scribble a few words. Within moments, she handed a list to Peter and instructed,
"Wormy, can you filch these from Madame Pomfrey's office? And some fresh wrappings please?"
"Sure," Peter breathed, happy to have something to do. Pocketing the list, he grabbed James's Invisibility Cloak and turned to leave.
"Padfoot, you should go with him," James called out to Sirius, jogging over and mumbling a few words in his ear before turning back to Lily.
"Let's go," Sirius turned to Peter and they both left together.
When them gone, James took a seat beside Lily and watched her for a few moments, letting her ministrations hypnotize him.
Suddenly, a chuckle escaped his lips, causing her to start.
"What?" she asked with a small smile, his jubilance infecting her.
"You sleep in boys' knickers?"
She ducked her head and blushed prettily.
"You only have a sister, so why do you sleep in boys' knickers?" a few moments of silence and another chuckle escaped his lips along with the word: Spiderman.
"Douggie," she shrugged simply, a ghost of a smile passing across her face.
"Who's Douggie?"
Her beautiful eyes lit up when the words left his lips. Before he knew it, she was rambling away most animatedly.
"… he's my best Muggle friend, other than Tuny. I've known him nearly my whole life. He moved to our block when we were small, and he's the only person that Tuny and I agree is the best. For the years that I was friends with Severus, and Tuny and I were fighting, he was the voice of reason, beside my parents. He's the only other Muggle who knows about my being a witch, and I miss him." She finished with a sigh.
"Do you have feelings for him?" he asked, his emotions guarded.
"I did for a little while," she sighed with a wistful smile tugging at her lips, "but I was misguided. I thought that because we were close it meant we were supposed to be closer. He's so smart though, he realized long before I did that just because we were attracted to one another didn't mean we should date. But he was my first a lot of things; it only made sense that I believed him to be my first love…"
"Firsts?"
"He was my first male friend, my first Wet Willy, my first crush, and the first guy I ever hit."
"You mean I wasn't the first?" he gasped, feigning shock.
She grinned, thinking back to her last birthday when she'd left him on the ground with a fat lip, "Sorry, Bub."
"Why'd you hit him?"
"One day, he and the neighborhood boys were playing hockey- a Muggle game, played on the ground with sticks and a ball between two teams- and he would let me play. So, I got upset and popped him one. He had a shiner for a whole week."
"Was he upset?"
"I think he got over it in like a day, I think he understood why I was upset with him. But my Da handled it worse than the both of us. He was so torn when he found out. He was upset that I couldn't control my temper and that I had hit a friend, but also happy that I stood up for myself and wouldn't let a boy deter me."
"So why is it that you wear boys' knickers to bed?" James raised a brow.
"Douggie's parents both drive sick Muggles to the hospital in a special vehicle called an ambulance. Their shifts are long and could be at any time of the day. When we were really young, Douggie used to sleep over at our house regularly. When he began, he tried really hard, sleeping in shorts while we wore our pajamas, but for months we'd wake up and he'd be down to his skivvies, an unconscious effort while he was sleeping. Eventually Tuny and I started doing it too. My Da didn't know what to do at first. Eventually, because we were all pretty young and androgynous, we won the battle. Don't ever tell my Da that you've seen what I've worn to bed!"
"Ok?"
"He's been paranoid that that one allowance has been his biggest mistake as a father. He's been trying to break us of the habit for years now. I still have to convince him that while I'm here I wear the sets my Nana makes us every Christmas."
"Why do you still wear them?"
"They're comfortable." She shrugged.
"So, you said he was your first everything, but you didn't say kiss. Who was your first kiss?" he grinned, bringing her back to what he really wanted to know.
Remus began to groan and Lily thanked the heavens.
"Hey," she smiled when Moony opened his eyes, leaning over him and brushing his hair from his forehead.
"Lil-" he coughed, his brown eyes peering into her kind face.
"You've been scaring the crap out of us," she smiled, tears obscuring her vision. "Don't you ever do that again."
"Did I bite someone?" he gasped, his gaze skittering over her exposed top.
"No," James spoke up, a grin to his face. "Although I'm pretty sure Lils is going to bite you in the morning for disrupting her beauty sleep."
"No I wo-" she scolded, before remembering herself, "Ok, so maybe I will, especially after that prefects meeting I had tonight. Tomorrow, I'm signing you up for the party planning committee. You know how much I hate being woken up."
"Especially by this bloke," Moony's chuckle resonated from his throat like a rusty pipe.
"See, Moony, you understand my pain," she pressed a kiss to Remus's forehead.
James gave her a soft shove in the arm before Remus's face suddenly twisted in what looked like excruciating pain as his body spasmed.
"Let it out, vocalize your pain," Lily breathed, with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, "Padfoot and Wormy are out getting your medicines. They'll put you to sleep and you'll wake up good as new, but depressed because you have to plan the winter formal."
"Tell them to hurry!" Remus groaned, pressing his forehead into the floorboards and gritting his teeth.
"Did someone say hurry!" a voice announced from thin air, and with the whoosh of the cloak, Padfoot and Wormtail appeared carrying a parcel of potions and a mug of something steaming.
"Chocolate!" she gasped, grabbing the mug and bringing the ambrosia to her lips.
"Good going," Sirius mouthed to James before placing the parcel before her.
In moments she'd moved beside Remus with a mug in one hand and undoing the parcel with the other. After pulling out the various tinctures, she set down the now empty mug and began to work. Sanitizing her hands with a quick charm, Lily began rubbing dittany into his wounds, ignoring the hissing sounds and starts from the stinging. As though she was familiar with such actions, Lily worked silently and attentively with her patient.
After treating his wounds, she put her hand in the pocket of the jacket still draped over Moony, and pulled out an ugly bottle containing a phosphorescent colored liquid. On the side of the bottle, the word Bitten was etched in the glass.
Instantly, Remus recognized the bottle.
"Is that-?"
She nodded, kneeling beside him, pulling the cap off the atomizer, pulling his chin so he opened his mouth and spritzing the solution on his tongue three times.
"What is that?" Peter, James and Sirius wrinkled their noses.
Sending James a hateful look before she replied,
"It's a diluted dosage of a concoction of something called Wolf Flower. It's believed to keep people from being infected if bitten by a werewolf, but that rubbish has never been proven. In her latest ethnography, The Wolf Within, Marlene McKinnon notes the more realistic medicinal purposes of the plant. I contacted her about it a little over a year ago and we've been corresponding ever since."
"You brewed this?" James asked.
"Marlene thought it was really cool what I was doing and wrote me the instructions and sent me some supplies. I brewed it last spring, it was the most difficult potion I'd ever attempted, but it was great practice for my O.W.L.s. Slughorn was sweet enough to allow me free raid of his stores and the utmost discretion."
"And the bottle?" Sirius asked, looking just as amazed as James and Peter.
"The girls are less likely to touch an atrocious smelling Muggle perfume than what could be mistaken as an Inner Glow potion," she shrugged.
"Here here," Peter covered his nose as it was still twitching madly as the stench lingered in the air.
"I had to send it back to Marlene to test its effectiveness and make sure it was safe for werewolf consumption, and when she sent it back, I told Remus about my work. It's one of the topics we discussed in my tree."
"You're brilliant!" Sirius leaned forward, wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pressed a hard kiss to her cheek.
"I'm not saying I told you so," James grinned from his place behind her.
She sent him another of her patented withering glares.
"So what do we do now?" Peter nodded toward the now slumbering werewolf, trapped in human form.
"Well, the concoction will keep Moony from turning for the rest of the night, which will give his body some rest. Tomorrow night, hopefully, the medication will keep the violent reaction at bay."
"Is it safe to leave him here?" Sirius nodded toward Remus's shivering body.
"I don't know," Lily frowned, "I don't know the normal procedure. I think we need to keep monitoring him, but I can't get back during the day; I have so much work to do. Can you hear me, Moony?"
But he was already too far gone.
"Thank you Padfoot for asking that very important question after I'd sedated the patient," she groaned, conjuring a stopwatch moving her fingers to his pulse and counting in her head.
"Madame Pomfrey will be checking on him in the morning," Padfoot offered her the useful information. "The procedure goes, she'll transform into a field mouse, as is her registered Animagus form, to unlock the door. She'll bring food, treat his wounds and lock the door for the next night."
"Oh no!" she frowned, looking at all of her hard work. "I'll have to undo everything!"
Sirius patted her back,
"Look, we'll undo the obvious things, like the dressings. You said the potion will give him some rest and calm the violent reactions, right? So we'll just remove the obvious applications of the dittany salve and bandages. He'll probably remain asleep until Pomfrey shows up and she can make him more comfortable. Uncomfortable and asleep is much better than uncomfortable and awake. He'll be alright. I'm sure he's had similar scrapes before we all were able to help. He'll be alright, thanks to your help."
Lily nodded, worrying her lip with her teeth.
If it was known that she or the guys were in the Shrieking Shack she was sure they'd all be kicked out of Hogwarts.
When they had erased all signs of them being there, including having to take back his clothes, the dressings and all medical supplies, they locked both sides of the door and made their way back through the earthy passage from the Shrieking Shack to the Whomping Willow.
When they finally reached the common room, Sirius and Peter went straight for their dorm, but not before nodding,
"Night guys."
Instead of heading to her bed, Lily collapsed onto one of the many overstuffed couches.
James watched as she eventually made her way to the edge of the couch and dug her elbows into her knees as she placed her head in her hands, burying her fingers in her hair.
"He's alright," he whispered, sitting beside her, placing an arm around her shoulders.
"I-" she sniffled. "I don't understand how you can do this once a month. Seeing him like that, he looked so vulnerable, so scared, so… pathetic. I couldn't take it. It was so…"
"Intense?" he offered.
"Yea," she sniffled again. "I'm so sad for him. It must be hell doing that once a month. I'm so-"
"He's alright. It scares us too, but he doesn't go through that every month. It was the first time since we've been with him. He's better when we're around. But I'm sure he's had episodes like that before we became Animagus."
"Don't you get upset? Don't you hate it that he has to go through that every month? All his life he's never going to be normal, that he's never going to get all that he wants? He'll never be completely happy?"
Brushing a few stray curls from her eyes, he gazed into them for a few moments before replying.
"It's not for me to get upset over. Sure, I wish for things to be different, but they aren't, and I can't get angry. He has to deal with it. In the end, I'm not always going to be around, but he will be, and he's the only that's going to have to carry that burden."
"That didn't help," she bawled on his shoulder, just as a new wave of sorrow engulfed her.
"Shh," he pressed a kiss to her forehead, their gazes locking as he leaned forward again.
His breath quivered as he exhaled slowly, heating her skin pleasantly before,
"James…" she breathed.
With that, they touched, his lips meeting that special spot on her neck, right below her ear, that spot that made her soft and pliant, making her body mold to his. In the moment that his lips brushed against her skin, her eyes fluttered close.
As if something had overtaken her, her fingers tugged at the bottom of his shirt, while her other hand climbed up his back, pressing him closer to her. Craving his heat, her body moved over his, settling herself on his lap, pressing her heat to his while her teeth tugged at his earlobe, her tongue leaving cool slicks against his skin.
Heavy breathing emitted from them as their bodies strained for closeness, his fingers unzipping her jacket, with his other hand beneath her, better positioning her warmth over his.
By the time their bodies moved horizontally over the couch, their mutual desires pressed them further in the cushions, losing themselves in feelings invoked by the other, skin lit on fire and unfamiliar feelings building in both of them.
She was so sensitive to his touch, his skin on her skin, she had somehow relieved him of both his tops, was building an unbelievable sensation in her center, causing her to arch her back, press her teeth into his warm skin and splay her fingers between his shoulder blades as she sought further friction.
She was consumed in pleasure, moaning, gasping, grasping, clenching and unclenching beneath him. The glorious friction being generated at their centers caused her to further arch into him, reaching for something she couldn't name with frustration coming out of her as moans.
It wasn't until the combined sensation of his fingers grazing the inside of her shirt, right over her nipple and the sensation of his lips finally finding hers that both realization and a shockwave of heat crashed through her system, caught her completely by surprise and she sat up, effectively throwing him off of her.
"What the-?" he cried from his place on the floor, confusion and frustration on his face and his hand in his hair.
"We can't do this," she jumped from her seat, her back to him as she tried to regain her breath, her body still smoldering with aftershocks.
"Lily, I-"
"I don't want to hear it, Potter," she interrupted. "I'm going to bed and forgetting his ever happened."
With that, she dashed through the door to the girls' dormitory.
TBC…
P.A/N: Please check out my newest story: Jagged Red Pill (Chapter 1 – Dog Days Are Over will be uploaded later this week).
R&R, please, reviews keep me going.
With love,
Yo-yo