Hi hi~

New chapter yay! I've decided the parts for most of the characters (warning; I just rush into all of my stories without a plan)

Gumi's name, Megumi Nakajima, is the name of her voice provider, a voice actress for Ranka Lee in Macross Frontier. She has the same birthday as me, and her voice sounds remarkably like Gumi's.

Lily is also a Nakajima because she doesn't have a last name and she's from Internet Co as well. Giving someone the last name Megpoid is just weird. I hate doing it in AU fics…

DISCLAIMER: Vocaloid belongs to their respective companies, and Ouran High School Host Club belongs to Hatori Bisco, which is the best name ever. It sounds like Biscotti.

"Here we go," I sighed, walking up the lane to Vocaloid High, the most obnoxious looking school in all of Japan.

If you can recall the last chapter, I was to have physical exams today, but posing as a guy. And I wasn't too confident in the Host Club's abilities, surprisingly enough.

"Good morning, Luki-kun…"

"Hey Megurine!"

"H-Hello Luki-kun!"

And so on were the greetings from both female and male students. I would just smile and wave back.

Like some contestant in the Miss America pageant.

"Hey Luka!" the twins shouted from behind, provoking a shriek out of me.

"Hey, you two!" I hissed, "If you really want my cover as a guy to stay intact, I suggest calling me Luki."

"You ready for the physical exam today?" They asked, ignoring my comment.

"Well, I guess so…" I replied, "As long as there aren't any fancy rich people gimmicks."

"Nope," Rin said nonchalantly.

"Just a regular physical exam," said Len.

"Really?" I asked, shocked, but also relieved. "Good, then this shouldn't be…"

"Welcome~" a long, long line of handsome doctors and Nurse Joys said cheerily as we walked into the hall.

"Wha–?" I exclaimed. I turned to the twins. "YOU GUYS SAID THAT THIS WOULD BE A REGULAR PHYSICAL EXAM!"

"Well, did we lie?" Len asked rhetorically.

"It's just the same as usual, isn't it?" Rin asked while walking into the huge room.

"These damn rich people," I said to myself.

"Kagamine-kun, I'll be your attendant for today, so please follow me~" a Barbie-like nurse said, gesturing to a curtained area.

"Sure thing," Len responded.

"Kagamine-sama, will you follow me so we can begin the exam," a doctor said to Rin.

"Sure thing!" she replied.

"Megurine-kun?" a voice said as a hand was placed on my shoulder.

"Hm?"

"I'll be conducting the exam, so if you'll come with me…" a Nurse Joy said.

"Uh, sure…" I said awkwardly.

I mean, what would happen if I refused? When was the plan going to kick in?

I almost choked on my own saliva when I saw Piko and Kaito in lab coats.

"K-Kaito-senpai and Piko-senpai? Why the hell are they…"

"They're just here in case something goes wrong," Kiyoteru said from behind me.

Okay, what possible situation could require two obviously disguised seniors to help?

"Ooh, look, it's Piko-chan and Kaito-kun!"

"Why are they dressed as doctors~?"

Oh lord, even the fan girls were pointing them out.

"Why go through this process at all when we could just have a regular physical exam?" I wondered out loud.

"This is mainly just a formality," Kiyoteru explained, "Although this is a school, it's also a business, from which the chairman profits off of. He needs to make the students happy."

A bunch of fan girls squealed when they saw Len come out of the curtain without a shirt on.

"…And as you can see, it makes the female students positively ecstatic."

"What is wrong with the girls at this school…?"

"…Kagamine-sama, please step this way so we can do your chest measurements," I heard a Nurse Joy say cheerily.

Len sprinted across the hall and grabbed Rin's hands.

Yes, he was still shirtless.

"This is intolerable! Rin…" Len said softly, leaning in, "I won't let them touch you."

Rin smiled coyly, "What are you saying? We're always playing the doctor game back home… and you always played with my body to the fullest…"

"KYAAAA!" the fan girls screamed.

How much do you want to bet that they were all just thinking of themselves in Rin's place?

This was just a more public display of the Host Club activities, really…

"This way, Lulu-chan! Now!" Piko said as he and Kaito pushed me out of the crowd and into a dressing room.

"W-What!" I yelled as I fell back to the floor. Except I hit something soft.

"I've been waiting for you… my princess~"

Ugh.

"G-Gakupo-senpai?" Wait, why was I stuttering? Was I blushing?

"Yes, that surprised look on your face is cute, too!" Gakupo said approvingly. "Don't worry, I'm here to help you."

"Megurine-sama," I heard a nurse call from outside, "We'll be doing your chest measurements now. Please come out when you've removed your clothes."

"Waaa! It's Luki-kun's turn now!"

"Our first time we get to see!"

The girls here are so messed up…

"…Wha—Gakupo-senpai, what the hell are you doing?" I asked as I saw him put on a short, pink wig.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you," he said with a Host Club smile.

"Megurine-sama, are you almost done?" the nurse called again.

"Yes," Gakupo said, opening the curtain.

"Luki Megurine here…" he said, doing his best impression of me.

An awkward silence followed.

"But that's Gakupo-sama, isn't it?" a fan girl asked.

"Where's Luki-kun?" another asked, peering into the dressing room as best she could.

A third girl gasped, "Were you two in the same dressing room together?"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" the twins were banging their fists on the countertop.

"I can't believe he actually did it!" Len yelled cackles.

"Of course they'd notice!" Rin managed to gasp out, clutching her sides.

"Oh, God my stomach hurts!" they both shouted.

"You two!" Gakupo said, grabbing Len by the shoulders and Rin by her camisole, "You two said they'd never find out this way!"

Rin and Len were still trying to hold in snickers, and were unable to respond while biting their lips.

"I-I'm sorry…" Gakupo peered into the dressing room again, "They found out."

I shot him a death glare (the one that tells you I'm reeeeeeaaaaally pissed) and he screamed and hid behind Kiyoteru.

I sighed. He really is the kind of person who could only survive in a relaxed world.

"Luki," Kiyoteru said, "I've arranged for your exam to be held in the Special Male Student Nurse's Office. The nurse there has been told to keep our secret, and nobody else will be there."

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"Yeah, turns out that all the doctors and nurses here work for the Hiyama family's hospital," Rin said, peeling an orange.

"If he'd only told us sooner, we could've avoided this whole fiasco," Len said while chewing a banana.

Kono semai nihon ni otoko toshite umareta nara Tenka wo toreru made tomanna Donna kabe mo koete yuke

"Megurine-san, right?" a woman said as I opened the door to the Special Male yadda yadda whatever. "I've been told about your situation. Please change behind that curtain over there."

"Shore," I said, doing as I was told.

Hajime mashou ka SHOW TIME Utsukushi kimi wo shou tai

Len POV (ya, ikr)

"I'm telling the truth!" a girl yelled.

I turned my head to the familiar-sounding scream and ran to find my sister. It seemed the rest of the Host Club had the same idea.

"Rin, what's going on?" I asked in a panic.

"Something happened to Neru-chan," Rin answered, consoling the girl.

Oh, yeah. Neru Akita. Second-year. Olympic level texter and rabid fan girl of yours truly. Plus the number one supporter of the twincest act we got going on…

"What was it?" Kiyoteru asked, leaning in towards Neru, making her blush. Oh kill me now.

"I-It was," she stuttered, "There was a creepy-looking doctor… and he GROPED ME! I've never been so terrified!" she wailed.

For the record, groping does suck. Like, really. Especially by creepy guys.

As much as I don't want to offend the crying (bitch of a) girl, she doesn't have much to grope.

"I thought as much," Kiyoteru said thoughtfully.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Rin and I yelled in unison.

…What, you thought we planned those things? No! Do you script your conversations?

"I saw a doctor in here earlier that didn't look familiar to me. He must've slipped in somehow."

"Okay, you totally could've told us that sooner," Rin and I remarked.

"Well, it's no big deal, I'm sure the security guard'll catch him," Kiyoteru responded almost… cheerily.

"Aki-chan, did you see where the pervert went?" Piko asked Neru.

"Yes," she nodded. "He headed off to the Special Male Student Nurse's Office!"

I choked on my third banana.

"Luka!" the Host Club members gasped in unison.

Konna kimochi wa hajimete

Luka POV

I heard the curtain open and close behind me as I took off my uniform. I looked back and saw a creepy-looking guy in a lab coat.

"Um, excuse me," I said politely.

The man gasped, as if he didn't think anyone else would be in here, and put a hand over my mouth, rambling, "No, no, it's not what you think! Please don't say anything! Don't scream!"

If this guy's trying to convince me he's not a rapist, he's doing one hell of a job what with seeing me with nothing but a camisole covering my top half and then assaulting me.

"GakkunKick!" a voice yelled as Gakupo flew into the room (with an open shirt) and kicked the poor pervert against the wall.

Then he did like eight back flips in the air before landing again like a boss.

That was the exact moment OHSHC became awesome. That and the homo line.

"Lulu-chan! We're here to rescue you~" Piko said cheerily, opening the curtain the rest of the way.

"P-Please don't hurt me! Spare me my life!" the man wailed, his back up against the dent he made in the wall.

I looked at the rest of the Host Club members, who had followed in after Piko. They didn't seem to object, so the man kept on talking.

"I-I'm a doctor," he started, "I have a small emergency medical clinic that I run in the next town over. My name is—"

"Wait," Rin and Len interrupted.

"You're a filler character, you can't have a name," Len said.

"Yeah, and there aren't any Vocaloids or UTAUs that Pudding can think of who are middle-aged perverts," Rin added.

"I think it's a bit early to be breaking the fourth wall, you two," Kiyoteru said, pushing up his glasses.

"Anyway," the unnamed filler character said irritably, "I came here looking for my daughter. My wife left me last week and took her with her."

"Um," I said, raising my hand. "Not to pry, but why exactly did they leave you?"

"They were tired of constantly living in debt," he sighed.

"Oh," I responded awkwardly.

Have you ever noticed how awkward the word "awkward" is? Especially to write or type. You always think you've got it wrong.

"I know I'm terrible at managing our money, and I can't say no to anybody. So I can't blame them for leaving…" he said woefully, bowing his head.

Gakupo was in tears by now.

"But I wanted to see my daughter one more time so I wandered around until I found your school. But then I was mistaken for a doctor…!"

"Well, yeah, you're wearing a lab coat," Len muttered.

"Anyone would make that assumption," Rin added.

"And then it happened… I was just walking around the halls, and I touched a girl on the shoulder. 'Do you know my daughter?' I asked. But then she started screaming rape!"

"Stop right there," Kiyoteru said. "Your daughter wouldn't happen to go to Boukaloid Public High School, would she?"

The man looked up, "Uh, yeah, that's it…"

"Well, then you have the wrong school," Kiyoteru stated simply.

"What?" the doctor squawked.

"This is Vocaloid Academy, a private school for the wealthy."

"Wow, Kiyoteru-senpai," Rin whistled.

"How'd you figure that out?" Len asked.

"Simple. There's no way a daughter of such a small-time doctor would ever be able to get into Vocaloid Academy."

"Hm," I gave Kiyoteru a glare.

"Kiyoteru," Gakupo said softly, "Can you get a map of all the public schools in the district? I'd like to help this man find his daughter."

I looked at Gakupo in shock. I mean seriously, where did that come from after that whole "Gakkun Kick" thing?

Kyou mo mata utsukushii onna ga boku no moto otozureru Hohoemi wo ukaberu anata wa atarashii tsuma to naru

"You sure about this?" Len asked as the man walked away.

"After all," Rin continued, "Even if he does manage to find his daughter, there's no guarantee she'll accept him."

"Well then," Gakupo sighed, "That's something he'll have to find out for himself."

I smiled to myself. I think… maybe Gakupo isn't as conceited and idiotic as I had first thought.

That doesn't rule out all conceitedness and idiocy, though, so don't think I'm in love with him or anything.

"Could you guys please leave now, please?" I asked.

The more… expressive members of the club looked taken aback.

"L-Luka? Are you still angry with me? You're not thinking of quitting the Host Club, are you?" Gakupo cried.

I giggled. Yup, he's still an idiot. "Don't be stupid, Senpai, I just have to finish my physical exam. As Luki Megurine, of course. Ah, but let me explain," I continued when I saw the twins open their mouths, "I'm not doing this (just) because you're bribing me with ootoro. I'm (also) doing it to pay off my debt!"

Gakupo blushed briefly and then glomped me, spinning me around and yelling, "Luka! You're so cute! I can see right through you! I know you're just after that ootoro~"

"C-Cut it out, Senpai!" I yelled, blushing. "Hey, don't touch me there!" I screamed, punching Gakupo in the face.

"Red card!" Rin and Len yelled.

"Looks like Gakupo-senpai…" Len started.

"Is a Class A pervert~" Rin finished.

"I don't care, will you guys just leave me to change in peace!" I yelled, kicking them out.

Wahoo. It's two in the morning. So I'm gonna go to bed now.

TAKE THE POLL ON MY PAGE, PLEASE! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! I NEED TO KNOW WHO'S GONNA BE NEKOZAWA AND KIRIMI!

QOTC: What do y'all think of Stella Hoshine being Kotoko (Luka's mom)? She's got the pink hair down part-way at least...

Leave a review if you laaaaaaaaaaav me!

Dude. That button down there is telling you to leave a review. I would do it man, don't wanna make it angry.

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