A/N: Everyone agrees with me that Flynn Rider is totally a porn star name, so thus this story was born. I don't know. I'm a weird person. It's a weird story. This is totally just a crack fic and is not meant to be taken seriously in any way.

One summer afternoon, Rapunzel and Eugene were working on moving all of Eugene's things into her house. They had known each other for a few months and it was getting pretty serious. They figured it was time they move in with each other. Also, Rapunzel thought it was the least she could do since Eugene lived in a tiny apartment, and Rapunzel now had a huge house due a large sum of money she had received when she was reunited with her very wealthy parents.

They carried in box after box, scattering them all around the spacious living room. This took a long time, and after they were done, Rapunzel stood looking at all. The first step was to figure out what was going where; what would go to the bedroom, what would be stored in the living room or any of the other rooms. Rapunzel ordered for Eugene to start opening the boxes to see what was inside, and then decide where the contents should be put. She helped him out with this, making decisions and helping carry the boxes to other rooms.

Rapunzel tore open yet another box, seeing that what it mainly held was a bunch of DVDs. She curiously pulled one out a tiny bit and looked it curiously. On the cover was a very promiscuously dressed woman. There weren't women like that in the movies she watched. "Hey Eugene? What's this?" she asked.

Eugene looked over at her, but she wasn't holding anything up, so he had to walk over to her. Once he realized what box she was looking at he quickly snatched it away from her, taking the whole thing into his arms. "Those are just my movies. Don't worry about it, okay?"

"Well then why can't I see?" Rapunzel asked, a smile creeping over her as she made to look in the box again. He was too quick for her, but she did manage to see inside for a second. She read a title off one of the DVDs, something like "Porn Stars Gone Wild." What was a "porn star" anyway? It couldn't have been literal, because she had read many books on astronomy and it certainly was not a real kind of star.

Eugene held the box farther away from him, folding down the cardboard edges. "Rapunzel. It's my stuff. You don't need to look at it." He was getting really defensive, which was kind of weird for him.

"If you don't let me see, then how will I know where to put it? With the rest of the movies? Or what about the other stuff in there, where does that go?" The "other stuff" was in actuality a variety of sex toys, condoms, and whatnot, but Rapunzel, having never seen such things, did not know that.

"No. I'll just put it all in my bedroom. That'll be fine," Eugene said. She and Eugene were having separate bedrooms, which Rapunzel had automatically decided just because she thought that's how everybody did it. Eugene had pointed out to her, when they were discussing sleeping arrangements, that it was common practice for all boyfriends and girlfriends living together to share a room, but Rapunzel shook her head and said that sharing a bedroom was only for married people. Besides, this house had a bunch of bedrooms and she figured they as well put a second one to use. "Um…my bedroom has a TV, right?"

Rapunzel nodded.

"Okay good," he said, thinking to himself. "I'll be right back." And he headed off to his new bedroom, taking the box with him. He returned a minute later and she went back to looking through the remaining boxes. Rapunzel was still rather confused, but she decided not to dwell on it.

The next day, Eugene happened to be out shopping, so Rapunzel took this opportunity to browse the internet. She wanted to look up that porn thing she had found out about yesterday. She always liked learning new things, especially if it was something Eugene was interested in. Apparently, he wouldn't tell her, so she'd have to do it herself…

She brought up a search engine and typed in the words "porn star." Immediately she was bombarded with links promising pictures and videos. She caught the words "adult film" as she skimmed the results. Was this a special kind of movie that she hadn't seen before? Ones that were only for adults? Well, she was eighteen now, legally an adult – maybe she should try watching them.

She clicked on one of sites, jumping a bit when it finally loaded, causing her rolling chair to slide backwards as she shielded her eyes. After a few moments she allowed herself to look again. On the screen were numerous pictures of naked ladies and some naked men. Swallowing thickly, Rapunzel looked more closely, her interest sparked, though she was thoroughly disturbed. She had never actually seen a naked man – sure, she'd seen a few pictures in health books and stuff, but nothing that looked so…vulgar.

Rapunzel scrolled through the page, quickly learning what an "adult movie" was. She didn't understand why people would enjoy watching other people perform such intimate acts. Maybe she was just being too conservative, though. It seemed popular enough.

Suddenly something jumped out at her – a word. Well, two words. Flynn Rider.

What?

She clicked on the link immediately. On display were a bunch of stills from the video, of a man and two women engaging in…improper activities. That was him, alright, that was definitely him. She couldn't believe it. Why hadn't Eugene told her about this? She felt stupid for not looking "Flynn Rider" up before. Jealously bubbled up inside of her. She knew Eugene had been with other girls, but she didn't know, well…not in this way. She had kind of assumed that he wasn't a virgin, but she never imagined this.

While her curiosity took a backstage to her anger, she couldn't help but be interested in the way Eugene looked with no clothes on. No, Rapunzel. No. This is no time to be attracted to him.

She wasn't sure what made her do it, but somehow she had already clicked the play button before she could stop herself.

As she watched the video, Rapunzel found herself thinking very unladylike thoughts about the women in the video. What kind of girls volunteered to have sex in front of a camera? "Whores," she muttered quietly, crossing her arms, still in a bad mood. Well it came down to it, what they were doing was no worse than Eugene. Maybe she would just hate everyone in this video equally.

The plotline of the movie was quite stupid. As far as Rapunzel could tell, its sole purpose was to lead in to the sex. Were these the kinds of movies adults liked? Wow. Adults must have been shallow…

When Flynn came in, Rapunzel almost wanted to cry. How could he have this whole secret life that she wasn't aware of? It drove her mad to see him kissing these girls – and this was only the beginning. Maybe she should just turn it off and save herself…

The girls began undressing slowly, showing off for the camera. The next time the camera cut to Flynn, he was only wearing jeans. Yep…only jeans, she confirmed, as he pulled them off to reveal a fully erect penis. Rapunzel's breath caught in her throat. She felt like she was violating his privacy, but then again, what did he care? He had posted it online for crying out loud! She gasped… Was she one of the last people in this world to see him naked?

Rapunzel tried to ignore the tingling feeling in her lower stomach, not allowing herself to be turned on. She was still mad at him. But there was something erotic about watching this, even if it was lame and badly written.

She was just getting to the part where one of the girls was getting on top of Flynn when…the preview stopped. Rapunzel rapidly clicked the play button, but nothing happened. She saw some text below the video box.

Purchase full video for $10.

What a rip-off! Before Rapunzel had time to think about this, she heard the front door open this. The internet browser was closed in a flash and Rapunzel ran down the stairs to greet Eugene.

"Hi!" she said excitedly. Perhaps too excitedly. She hoped her nerves weren't showing through…

"Hi." Eugene chuckled, shaking his head as he looked at Rapunzel before walking into the kitchen to put away the groceries. "Have you had a good afternoon?"

"Yup," Rapunzel said, watching him and biting her lip. She didn't know what to say to him. She felt so awkward around him, like she had lied to for months. "Eugene, I…I know about the videos." She said it all rather quickly and then looked down, blushing profusely.

"You…you do?" he asked. His grocery bag was left abandoned on the counter as he turned towards her, his face displaying shock and a touch of embarrassment. "You mean, those videos?"

Rapunzel nodded, not looking at him.

"Oh, Rapunzel…" Eugene said, sighing heavily as he took her hands in his. "I'm so sorry. I…I was afraid you would think poorly of me if you knew. I should have told you, I guess."

Rapunzel shrugged. She did think kind of poorly of him, but at least that was in his past. She was just angry that he had never mentioned anything like that. "I guess there are worse things you could have been doing as Flynn Rider."

"True," Eugene said, not mentioning that he had probably done whatever bad things she could think of. "Did you…did you watch any of the videos?"

Rapunzel nodded. "Yeah, but it ended right before you guys…did it."

Eugene shrugged and returned to stocking the pantry. "Well I've got all my stuff on DVD if you're interested."

Rapunzel titled her head in confusion. "All your stuff? How much is there? Do you really watch yourself? I think that's a little self-centered." Eugene was the poster boy for arrogance, though.

"I've had my fair share of fame," Eugene said, smirking slightly. "And don't say that! I look pretty damn good in those movies, you have to admit."

"I don't have to admit anything," Rapunzel said, her cheeks flushing.

"Because seriously, if wanna borrow my collection, I can go get them."

"I don't want to borrow your collection!" Rapunzel shouted. She stood there breathing heavily, her head muddled with confusion. She couldn't tell whether or not she was still angry with him. She thought back to how she felt watching the video. She was pretty curious about it. "I mean…I guess it wouldn't hurt to maybe watch one, but…"

Eugene laughed as he walked back into the living room and started down a hallway with Rapunzel following him. "Well how else are you gonna learn about sex if you refuse to have any with me?" he asked.

"Who says I need to learn about it? And I never said I wouldn't have any with you. It's just not an immediate concern of mine." Although since today it's been on my mind a lot more…

"Well," Eugene said, stopping outside of his bedroom. He leaned against the door, crossing his arms as he looked at her. "If you're ever curious, the box is under my bed. I'll even watch it with you if you want."

"Eugene. What you do not understand is that I don't like seeing you with other women," Rapunzel said desperately.

Eugene frowned a bit. "Of course not. Well, my offer still stands. And you know, if you ever want me to do those things with you, just let me know, and…"

Rapunzel covered her ears and begin singing in gibberish so she couldn't hear him. She wasn't interested in listening to him beg for sex. She started walking off to her own bedroom.

That night, while Eugene was in the shower, she snuck into his room and stole one of the DVDs, making sure that his name was included in the cast list, and rushed back to her room. She would watch one. Just one. She had to learn about her boyfriend's past career, after all.

Rapunzel didn't much enjoy watching the movie. It was rather raunchy and degrading to women. Rapunzel still felt uneasy watching her boyfriend with another girl, even if he had no emotional attachment to her at all. There weren't even very many shots of Flynn. Rapunzel turned off her TV after it was over, switching off the light and crawling back into bed. She tried to fall asleep, but her head was swimming.

She couldn't stop thinking about it. About Eugene. About what he was doing to those girls and what it might feel like if he was doing it to her. Somehow her hand ended up creeping below the waistline of her pajama pants. She closed her eyes and let her imagination run wild. There was no way she was telling Eugene about this.

The next day, she showed up at Eugene's bedroom door, fully dressed, with the DVD in her hand.

Eugene smirked when he opened the door. "How was it?" he asked.

"Disgusting," Rapunzel declared, pulling the box from under the bed and putting the movie back in its place. She stared at the contents of the box for a moment before pulling herself away. "It was educational, though, I suppose…" she said, leaning against his bed.

"You think?" Eugene asked. She wished he would stop smirking. "You know, I could always…give you a firsthand demonstration…"

Rapunzel rolled her eyes. "Eugene, I want our first time to be romantic, not…like a porn movie."

"Fair enough," Eugene muttered, sighing. "But maybe after our first time?

"Yes, maybe then," Rapunzel agreed, her cheeks flushing as she imagined what he had in mind.

"Good," he said, smiling. "And until then, you can just come to me with any questions you have."

"Yeah, about that," Rapunzel said, speaking quietly at first. "I thought – I thought maybe I don't wanna wait so long." She hadn't intended on saying that, but it just felt so right. She realized how much she wanted to be with Eugene in that way. Why should they wait?

"No?" Eugene asked.

"No," Rapunzel said. "Just…just don't be all gross and kinky and I think it will be fun."

"Okay. I can do that. I can be the most romantic person ever if I want to be." He moved towards her, pushing her against the bed as he kissed her slowly. Rapunzel felt butterflies in her stomach. "Rapunzel," he said, "I hope you're prepared for a lifetime of outstanding sex."

Rapunzel giggled at his absurdity. "Yes. I'm very ready," she replied in a sarcastic voice.

Eugene smirked as he leaned into to kiss her again, pushing the box with his porn stash under the bed. They didn't need that right now.