Miko of My Desire
By: Aurora Collins
Disclaimers: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters associated with it. I'm only borrowing the characters to amuse myself and hopefully others. ^_^
Ch. 10 Pain of the Heart
The cabin reeked of old blood that stained the floor, ceiling and bed. The coverlets were strewn everywhere. The body occupying the bed had a horrified look plastered across her once beautiful, pale face. Her chest was torn open and upon closer inspection you could see that her chest cavity was missing a vital organ; a heart. The door to the cabin creaked open as a figure walked in, followed by a thick mist of miasma. The man had on a baboon cloak that covered his whole body and the only feature of his face that was visible was a malicious smile that graced his lips; a soft laughter, "tut-tut-tut," quickly followed. He glided towards the bed and gazed at the victim who'd been slaughtered by her former master.
"It's time to wake up," he cooed as he pulled a precious shard from his cloak. The shard was tainted a dark purple color that glowed as he pushed it into the flesh where her heart should have been. Her body jolted and she gasped as if breathing for the first time in her life. "Lady Itsuko," he said as he stared down at her. Itsuko grabbed at her chest as her body magically, if painfully regenerated itself, and she was once again a creature of beauty. She sat up in her bed and stared at the man who'd saved her eternal soul from the flames of hell. She could still feel the searing heat on her skin and she shivered from the memories. She recalled vividly how Sesshomaru had slain her for her deceit, and she still felt a deep consuming need for revenge.
Itsuko looked at the man before her and asked weakly, "Who are you?" With the same eerie smile he replied, "Naraku." "You saved me?" Itsuko asked, he nodded as he took the hood from his face and he revealed his elegant beauty to her. Itsuko blushed and wanted to know more, but she felt this domineering power radiate from this beast. "You want revenge and I have provided you with a new life. You serve me now…"
The normally quiet time in the study was short lived due to a commotion that found itself outside of its doors. Kagome put down the book she had actually been enjoying, to see what was going on, but before she had a chance to get up Sesshomaru was well on his way. He opened the door and saw Jaken squawking to Rin. "I don't know how you could be so stupid as to get taken like that," Jaken yelled at the end of the hallway. Rin responded her voice filled with hurt, "Rin did not know she would be kidnapped." "Well because of you the whole castle was in an uproar and lord Sesshomaru was extremely angry you inconsiderate human," Jaken continued ranting at her. Rin stomped her little foot, "This Rin knows that and this Rin was sorry for making her lord run after her like that." Jaken huffed as he pushed her down and raised his staff, "That is still not an excuse human brat. Lord Sesshomaru would be better off without a little girl like you around."
Before he could even attempt to swing Sesshomaru shot down the hall, a resonating growl reverberated from his lips. It was so loud that it could be heard throughout the wing they were residing in. Jaken, who was about to say something else to Rin stopped short. For how green he was he turned awfully pale when he heard that monstrous growl that was meant for him. Jaken gulped down and slowly turned his head to meet the lord's gaze from down the hallway. Jaken didn't even have time to protest before his lord had lifted him up, clawed hands wrapped around Jaken's thin throat. Jaken looked at his master feeling the anger seeping from Sesshomaru. Jaken had been given looks by Sesshomaru before, but not one as harsh as the one he was given now.
Kagome who had witnessed the whole thing from the door let out a little whimper, fear emanating from her petite form. Flash backs of what had happened before with Clay played in her head. Sesshomaru, having seen the look on her face before taking off, knew almost instantly what she was thinking about as she caressed her once bruised cheek and grew even angrier. He knew now, truly, why he would never hit her or any woman again, even in punishment. He needed to end Jaken's abuse immediately before it got even worse.
Sesshomaru then looked at Rin and asked, "What do you think I should do to him Rin?" Rin thought about it for a moment and said, "This Rin knows that the worst punishment you could give him is to keep watching over this Rin." "That would be a punishment for him, but my ward will be taken care of appropriately," Sesshomaru explained. Rin looked at Jaken and saw that there was real fear in the toad. Rin didn't want Jaken punished, but she also didn't want him screaming at her anymore. "This Rin thinks that maybe Jaken should not be punished," Rin said this in a questioning tone. "After everything he said to you Rin? You must truly have a heart of gold," Sesshomaru scoffed. Kagome spoke up, "Maybe you can have him do the labor I did for awhile. A little hard work never hurt anyone, and when you're working it gives you a lot of time to think."
Jaken glared at Kagome until Sesshomaru drew his attention back to his servant. "I think Kagome has the right idea. Jaken you'll be assigned cleaning duty for the next month for your indiscretions. Do I make myself clear?" Sesshomaru said, expecting finality on the conversation. Jaken nodded weakly in Sesshomaru's grasp. Sesshomaru dropped the toad and he scurried away to do his lord's bidding, and glad that he wasn't just killed. Once Jaken was out of sight Rin tugged on Sesshomaru's kimono sleeve, "You don't think that was too harsh lord Sesshomaru?" "No I don't. Don't feel bad Rin because when people act badly they need to be punished. Why do you think I never punished you Rin?" Sesshomaru asked his ward. "Well I guess it's because this Rin has never been bad?" she answered with another question.
Sesshomaru could not help but chuckle, "You have never been bad Rin." "What will happen to this Rin now?" Rin asked, now worried herself. Sesshomaru looked back at Kagome and gave her a knowing smirk, "I think Kagome would love the chance to take care of you on her time off. When she is working with me you will have a maid looking after you." Rin smiled broadly and ran to Kagome to give her a huge hug, "Yes! This Rin would love to spend time with Kagome!" Kagome hugged the little girl back and gave Sesshomaru a smile of her own. "Can she stay with us in the study for the day Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked, hoping he would comply with her wishes. Sesshomaru gave her a nod of his approval and for the rest of the working day they spent it together in the study.
Rin was tucked into bed after the evening meal and Kagome had the opportunity to tell her a bedtime story. It was something that Rin didn't experience too often and she was grateful to be so loved all the time. Once her eyes were closed and a soft snore came from her pearly lips Kagome was able to rise from her kneeling position. Sesshomaru was waiting for her at the door to escort her back to their room. As they were walking Sesshomaru commented, "I have never heard that story before. It was very tragic." Kagome sighed, "Well, love stories are usually tragic." They entered their room. "Yes, but the mermaid could have had her prince if she had the courage to take what she wanted," Sesshomaru explained. "She wasn't selfish like that. She was happy to spend what little time she could with the man she loved; even if it meant turning into sea foam, "Kagome declared as the door closed behind them.
Sesshomaru gave it some thought and in a way the story of The Little Mermaid had a sense of truth for the everyday love life. It was full of tragedies and that was probably why he never allowed himself to love. They finally got to their bedroom and closed the door. Kagome was starting to get used to undressing in front of Sesshomaru, but that didn't mean she would expose her front. She always kept her back to him because she felt that was the best she could do to keep her priorities straight. Kagome began to untie the sash at her waist when she felt two domineering hands at her abdomen. She was about to protest until he nuzzled his face into her neck. He breathed in deeply at her scent, which always made him want to get lost in her sweetness "Sesshomaru," she gasped out as he glided his lips to a single spot.
He kissed her on one of her more tender areas and it forced a moan from her mouth. Kagome could feel him smirk against her skin as he released her from his sensuality. Her sexual need became heightened and she knew that Sesshomaru was more then aware. He had this control over her body and she knew that if he wanted to he could take full advantage of her in just a few short minutes. Sesshomaru's hands glided up to her ribcage and every part of Kagome jolted to life at his caress. Never in her life had she been touched like that and it felt nice and inviting. He wasn't cruel with his touches, but kind and understanding. Kagome could feel herself melting with want, needing the caresses and kisses he bestowed upon her.
He finished untying her sash and when it became loose her kimono fell open. Sesshomaru had such expert hands that it wasn't long until she felt his palms on her bare torso. She expected them to be cold, but instead they were warm and soft. Kagome pushed herself against Sesshomaru and she could hear a chuckle from her master. She felt it on her back and that is when she was brought back to reality and it was punching her in the face. She twisted from his grasp and faced him. Her cheeks were heated with desire and she could feel that numb tingling between her legs. Kagome wanted him and that is what scared her the most.
"Why did you do that?" Kagome asked, sounding like she was out of breath. Sesshomaru cocked what looked like a grin and said, "I just wanted to make sure that you wanted me miko." Kagome sputtered, "T-That's ridiculous." Sesshomaru stepped up to Kagome and asserted, "What's ridiculous is the plain fact that whenever I look at you and you realize it your heart skips a beat. When you think I don't notice you staring at me I can sense the blushes that streak your face. Or whenever I'm anywhere close to you or touch you your heart races to where it is almost deafening, and your arousal is so apparent that it could drive any demon into insanity. When you sleep you always speak in mutterings of me, and then your scent comes back to my nose tenfold, and that is when I can hardly detain my desires for you." Kagome stepped back as he came to a close. "Like I said before miko, if I wanted to do this to hurt my brother then I would have done the deed without your consent. I want you for you. You're lucky that I've waited this long."
"I-I say things in my sleep?" was all Kagome could think to say. Sesshomaru sighed, "You really want to know what you say? The truth that profligates from your very mouth?" Kagome seemed hesitant, not sure if she really did want to know. "Although it is merely mumbles, I understand what you say. You say how you can't understand why you like me so much, why you don't try to escape. You call out my name sometimes in your sleep. You cry, asking for my help and as much as I want to wake you up, I don't. No, I want to hear more. I want to know the truth and I know that you want me as much as I want you, maybe even more," Sesshomaru claimed as he towered over her. Kagome bit her lip and looked away, not wanting to hear anymore.
Sesshomaru grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. He wanted to see into her blue orbs so that he could determine what she was thinking. "Are you speechless yet?" Sesshomaru questioned. Kagome jerked her chin out of his grasp and said, "This isn't fair you know that? You have all these senses, yet I don't have an advantage at anything. You can see into my heart and know the turmoil that I feel. I don't know what I feel past lust. I can't…" Kagome choked out, holding back her emotions. "The truth hurts sometimes, but like The Little Mermaid, you have to have courage to keep going," Sesshomaru said. "But she died!" Kagome nearly screamed out. Sesshomaru held her by the shoulders and shook her, "Then fight for what you want and don't hold back like she did. You can be selfish once in a while. You only live life once Kagome."
Kagome stared at him and she sighed, "Sesshomaru please give me some time to think about this. I like you alright! I don't confess easily, but I don't love you and without love I can't do these things. Just give me some time and I'll let you know." Sesshomaru breathed out himself and said, "I expect an answer soon and I hope you give me the answer I seek. This Sesshomaru is not used to begging." Kagome nearly laughed, but instead a giggled formed out of her mouth. "You think this is funny?" Sesshomaru asked, now puzzled. Kagome shook her head, "No, but just the way you said it was kind of funny, you know?" "Humans and their sense of humor baffle me," Sesshomaru said as he released her. What Sesshomaru didn't know was that when he said the word begging, Kagome automatically associated it with a dog. Kagome would never confess the real reason why she giggled.
Kagome side stepped Sesshomaru and went to the boxes where she knew a new nightgown was waiting for her. "You know you didn't have to get me all of this stuff," Kagome mentioned. Sesshomaru just grunted. "I mean it. I don't need all of this. As nice as the concept was," Kagome finished. "So you don't like the gifts," Sesshomaru went on to say. Kagome looked over her shoulder and smiled, "On the contrary; I do like these gifts. But as said before, I think it was too much too soon." "Perhaps, but you needed a new wardrobe anyway," Sesshomaru stated as he began to get undressed himself. "I can agree with that," Kagome said as she finally found what she was looking for. Kagome finished dressing and crawled into the bed with her lord and master.
Ceremoniously Sesshomaru grabbed onto Kagome and she let out a little squeak. He smirked into her hair as he made himself comfortable with his 'pillow'. "Do you have to do this to me every night?" Kagome asked in a hushed tone in the dark room. Sesshomaru just nodded. Kagome knew now why she felt so safe at night. She huddled closer to him and allowed his arms to snake around her. She rather liked the feeling of being needed and wanted, especially by Sesshomaru. That is when she really wondered if she was in love with the great dog demon lord.
Kagome rolled over in the bed and found that once again she was alone. The sheets were meshed together in disarray and Kagome knew that she must have tossed and turned throughout the night, like she did sometimes. She must have run him off and that made her feel horrible. Just when she thought the worst of herself for keeping Sesshomaru up all night, she heard the door slide open that was connected to the bathroom. Sesshomaru had his torso wrapped in a towel as he strode practically naked into their bedroom. He went to his dresser and pulled out some clothes for the day. She noticed that his nostrils flared and that could only mean one thing. Kagome double checked herself and of course her subconscious betrayed her once more.
She didn't try on purpose to become aroused, it just happened. Surely Sesshomaru would know this and take it into consideration. Kagome gulped down and she averted her eyes from Sesshomaru. It wasn't polite to stare, especially at a demon who wanted to bond with her in such intimate ways. Kagome knew about sexual intercourse from her mother and school, but to experience it was something she never had the pleasure to do. She thought about it once in a while. What teenager wouldn't?
Sesshomaru slanted his eyes at her and grunted at his own frustrations as he finally chose the kimono he wanted to wear. Kagome peeked to the side and saw the towel drop around his ankles. She stifled a squeak as she looked away once more, hoping that he didn't catch her. Kagome knew better then to think like that because Sesshomaru always knew what she did. "Are you done yet?" Sesshomaru growled out. Kagome came back to the situation at hand and remained silent. "I think that is the best answer you could have given me," Sesshomaru commented as he put on his trousers. That is when Kagome faced him and gave him an angry look. "What do you expect me to do; just pretend you weren't butt ass naked just now? If you don't want to smell me then you should have dressed in the bathing room," Kagome retorted back to him.
"Humans always get turned on so easily," Sesshomaru explained. Kagome huffed out, "And you don't? I know for a fact that you do because you said so. You're no better if you really look at it. You pretend to have this strong demeanor but in reality you feel wants and needs too." "Suddenly you're an observer?" Sesshomaru asked. "I'm not blind, nor am I deaf. Do you really think I'm that stupid?" Kagome questioned him. Sesshomaru shook his head, "I never implied that miko." Kagome slumped her shoulders, "I'm sorry Sesshomaru. I didn't mean to snap at you like that." "I egged you on. I shouldn't expect less from you," Sesshomaru admitted as he finished dressing. "Something is bothering you Kagome."
Kagome looked to the side and whispered, "Sorry." Sesshomaru cocked an eyebrow. Kagome gazed back at him and saw that look on his face. "I'm serious. I didn't mean to keep you up last night." Sesshomaru allowed a small chuckle to reform out of his mouth. "What's so funny?" Kagome asked while getting out of the bed with a purpose. Sesshomaru walked up to the miko and pressed his finger to her lips and said, "It's nothing you need to worry about." He dropped his hand from her face and Kagome bit her lip, wondering what he meant. "But, what did I do this time?" Kagome testified, wanting to know. Sesshomaru stared at her for a long time before he said, "It is more along the lines of what you said, but like I said before; don't worry about it."
Kagome felt a heat rise on her cheeks because she knew it had to be something bad. She had to really stop this habit about talking in her sleep. It could get her into some real trouble, if it hadn't already. "Now get dressed." Kagome did as she was ordered to, but she really didn't want to put on the heavy kimono again. She wanted to dress in something from her world, but she didn't have a choice in the matter. "Did you need help again?" Sesshomaru offered. Kagome shook her head in dismay, "N-No, I don't need your help." "I could call for a maid if you really needed the help," he offered once more. Kagome hesitated for a moment and finally said, "It's fine. I need to learn to do this on my own." "Have it your own way," Sesshomaru stated.
Kagome nodded her approval at her own independence. She wanted to do this on her own but as she saw all the boxes she gave out a heavy sigh. She really needed to put these clothes away in a dresser or wardrobe. "I'll have the servants take care of it," she heard Sesshomaru. She disliked it how he read her mind so often. "Hurry up so that I can get on with my day," Sesshomaru rushed.
"Can't I just take my time for once? Get a bath or something?" Kagome glared at him as she put her hands on her hips. Sesshomaru looked her over and said, "Perhaps a bath won't be such a bad idea." Kagome's mouth dropped open at his vicious remark. "Are you saying I'm dirty?" Kagome uttered. Sesshomaru shrugged his shoulders and said, "Think what you want." "You're so difficult sometimes you know that," she said in exasperation. "This is a two sided coin Kagome. Haven't you been difficult as well? I don't even know why I put up with you half the time. You can't just do what you're told can you?" Sesshomaru explained to her as he towered over her. Kagome gulped down, "I can't seem to help it with you alright!"
"I'll have a maid sent up to help you and then she can escort you to the study whenever you get over this hiccup you seem to be having this morning," the lord said this in a demeaning way. "Hiccup! What is that supposed to mean!" Kagome nearly yelled at him. "Point made. You're not on your woman's cycle so I call this a hiccup. Usually women act like this when they don't get their way." he pontificated. Kagome's face got so red that she didn't know what to say. She was made speechless by the way Sesshomaru talked to her, but she couldn't exactly blame him.
Kagome breathed deeply to get her emotions under control. "Today may I please just have time for myself? I need time to think and to understand what is going on with me. You know very well I will not try to run away because I have had other opportunities and chosen not to act on them. I just need to be alone," she said all this in one breath, hoping he would at least allow her a reprieve. "Fine miko, if I have chosen to trust you with my ward then I suppose I could allow you some time, but don't expect me to wait for ever. I will send a maid to you so you may finish getting ready." Sesshomaru then left then room in a swirl.
Kagome stared at the door for a few moments surprised at how easy that had been. She didn't want to waist any time as she quickly stripped down and began to try and figure out her clothing. Soon a knock sounded on the door almost surprising Kagome enough to fall over, almost. "Come in." she called now tangled in expensive cloth. In stepped the young demon girl from before, her green eyes alight with curiosity, "The master said you would need help and that you might want some one you had met before." The girl quickly made her way to Kagome's side and competently untangled her. She then help her knew mistress dress and do her hair. By the end Kagome looked truly like a hime.
Kagome wasted no time in getting out to the garden. She found that being with nature helped to calm her down and allow her to clear her mind. Kagome looked at all the flowers around her and thought that the gardener truly had a green thumb to make so many wonderful blends of beauty. She saw so many paths to take that she wasn't sure which one to choose, until she came to the crossroads by the coy pond. She made her way down the left stone path that curved through and around the many flower beds. Lost in thought Kagome didn't notice the approaching jewel shard until it was right behind her. "You BITCH!" a familiar voice screamed as Kagome quickly turned around. "Itsuko?" Kagome gasped in shock. The woman wore a revealing kimono that dipped so low it showed a deep scar over the spot her heart would be. "A pathetic human wearing clothing of a lady," her voice was shrill with anger as she glared at the young miko. Kagome didn't know how to respond to the psychotic demoness, hadn't Sesshomaru taken care of her?
"You will die miko and then I will take the Shikon shards you posses." Itsuko declared before launching at the unprotected and unprepared miko. Itsuko sliced easily into her flesh through the beautiful silk, staining it with blood. When Kagome fell to the ground conscience her last thought was –I love you Sesshomaru-
The smell of blood wafted in on the wind, through the open window in the study. Sesshomaru's nose twitched when the scent protruded to his nostrils and he could tell that something was wrong. He looked outside to the garden and felt his heart drop. Someone was looming over his miko, examining her clothes. Within moments he was outside approaching the intruder. He stopped dead when he realized exactly who it was. "Good to see you again my lord," Itsuko said as she turned to face him, her dress hiding most of the damage she had caused. "What did you do?" Sesshomaru's voice dipped low, almost calm if not for the underlining violence threaded in his tone, his eyes bleeding red. Before he could take another step towards her, she laughed and disappeared in a puff of miasma. Once Itsuko disappeared and her scent was lost Sesshomaru rushed to Kagome.
He held her closely in his arms and saw the blood pour out of her wound that resided on her chest. Her breathing was shallow and there was still life within her. Sesshomaru could allow her to die and use the Tensuiga on her, but he couldn't fathom the thought of seeing her breath her last breathe. Summoning a healer would take too long and there would be lasting damage to her person once she was fully healed. No, he had another idea that would bind her to him forever in the simplest method. They say that demon blood can kill a human once it enters the blood stream because of poisonous properties, but since Kagome was a miko, it could have the reverse affect. It could heal her at the same rate as a demon, and perhaps prolong her life with his.
He didn't know why he would want to be bound to this woman, but something inside of him told him that he had to. He had to save her and in a sense, make her a part of him. Sesshomaru just hoped that she wouldn't be cross with him once the deed was done. It's not like they would be mated, but he would become more in tune with her. Sesshomaru just hoped it would work and that his gut feeling didn't prove him wrong. In a vampiric way he took his incisor and slit the tender part of his wrist. It would get the most blood out and into her wound so that the healing process would begin. Before he would have a chance to bleed to death the wound would already be in the process of regenerating itself.
The red liquid poured onto her like a steady stream and when it did Kagome began to cough up blood. The red tint dribbled down her chin and to the crevice of her throat. A weak moan escaped her lips as they quivered. Her body shook like she was having a fever and sweat beaded at her forehead. Sesshomaru's heart skipped a beat when he thought it would be over for her. Then when he gazed down at her exposed chest he saw the sinew begin its work at mending itself together. The muscles contracting back to where they were meant to be. The wound still gaped at him like a portal of misery, but he could tell that it was trying to work for her in the best of ways. A sigh escaped his mouth when he realized that he had been holding his breath.
Kagome's eyes slitted open and in a blurred frenzy she saw the man she wanted to see the most. She thought she was dead and maybe she was. Maybe this was her heaven or a dream. Either way, she was glad to see him. Her hand twitched and Sesshomaru instinctively grabbed it. He whispered, "Kagome?" Kagome gave off a weak smile before she fell into oblivion, thinking that it was good to see him one last time. If only she could have told him how she truly felt now. It was sad how she had to die to confess her true feelings to herself and maybe she was like The Little Mermaid; who wasn't brave enough to take the man she held dear to her heart.