Miko of My Desire
By: Aurora Collins
Disclaimers: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters associated with it. I'm only borrowing the characters to amuse myself and hopefully others. ^_^
Ch. 12 Forbidden
Lines of light poured in through the panes of the elongated window that stretched across the elegant room. The sun yellow glazed across the tapestries, the carpets and the crest white sheets that idled off the side of the futon. The cushions being weighed down by two bodies that occupied the sleeping space, encased in pillows of divine texture and design. The distinct chirping of birds could be heard ringing outside; their voices rang gaily reverberating through the hollows of the valley. It could be said that the birds sang for a rare, yet special occasion that consisted of only two beings; two souls that emblazoned themselves between one another in the perfect night.
The sheets shifted as one figure came out rustling about in the coverlets. Her sweet sigh was filled with bliss that couldn't be considered any thing else but happy. She rolled onto her back, her hair masquerading the pillows, making them seem like a starless night. Brightened her already beautiful face, it was plain as day that nothing could have made the young woman happier. Kagome recalled the night vividly and at first she thought that she would be having at least some regrets to her decision, by giving up her closely guarded virginity to the great demon lord. Instead of pain, as she'd expected, there were feelings deeper then anything she had ever experienced. Even though creating a union with Sesshomaru would be deemed wrong by every society rule and regulation that existed in their world, it still seemed right.
Kagome had never cared for what others deemed right as long as she was not destroying any true morals, society and all it piety could shove it. Sesshomaru felt Kagome stir under the loose covers so he stretched out his broad arm in order capture her in his embrace. Kagome couldn't help but allow a giggle to escape her mouth, it echoed off the walls. The voice was melodious to Sesshomaru's ears, tinged with the sweet texture of honey. He knew he would never get enough of it, no matter how long time would pass. "I see you're finally up miko. Did you sleep well?" he hummed at her earlobe. Kagome nuzzled close to him and nodded in her firm agreement, "I did lord Sesshomaru." "No regrets?" Sesshomaru had to ask. Kagome stiffened at his question and knew that she deserved it. With how she acted in the past it would be no surprise that he would ask such a thing of her.
Instead of getting angry like she normally would, she just smiled casually; knowing that Sesshomaru could sense it. "I will never regret this Sesshomaru," Kagome answered with such a soft voice that she didn't even know if he could hear her. Sesshomaru did hear her with such accuracy that he turned her over to face him, just to see the truth in her words on her face. He could tell that she was full of joy and happiness about their union, not a single doubt clouded her face. It allowed Sesshomaru to not only know, but feel that he hadn't committed a crime against such an innocent woman; but instead given her a and powerful wave of light. "I wasn't too rough with you?" Sesshomaru questioned further. Kagome chuckled, "I may be a human but if you were any gentler with me then I would think that you didn't want me." "You are a wicked woman Kagome," he stated as he drew her into a heated kiss.
Kagome lightly bit his lip, which made Sesshomaru growl in frustrated pleasure. "If you keep this up woman then we might not leave this bed any time soon," the lord threatened. Kagome smirked up at him and said, "Is that a promise?"
It was nearly noontime when she finally got out of bed and into the steaming bath. When she saw the sheets she never realized how much blood was involved with having sex for the first time. Kagome actually felt bad about ruining the sheets but Sesshomaru reassured her that there were plenty more sheets to replace the old ones and that her gift was worth much more the sheets. "I have to go get some work done Kagome. Would you mind watching Rin? She has been worried about you since you got hurt," Sesshomaru explained as he finished getting dressed. Kagome tied her sash on her kimono, now being a near expert at putting them on now. Kagome nodded with a smile, "Of course I can watch her. I have a lot of games I can teach her that I used to play as a child. It will be a lot of fun. Will you be long?" Sesshomaru shook his head with a smirk, "For a while miko. I will see you at the evening meal."
Kagome saw the mischievous look on his face through the mirror and knew that he wanted to spend more time with her, but work called for him. What would the west do without their lord to guide them? Kagome understood and would eagerly await his return. Sesshomaru came up behind Kagome and nuzzled on her neck. "If I didn't have to go then I wouldn't, but I'm glad you understand and are willing to help this demon." Kagome pressed herself to him and said, "Anytime master." She really did love her lord, but she still couldn't tell him how she felt. Kagome thought that maybe he would laugh at her for her human emotions, but she would enjoy the time she had with Sesshomaru while it lasted. She just wished that she could tell him everything that was on her mind and that he would accept her in part.
But in a way he did accept her as part of him because he gave her his blood, which saved her life. He bonded himself to her and sacrificed a future with a full blooded demoness mate. It was tragic to say the least and Kagome didn't know how to make it any better. "Kagome, what's wrong?" Sesshomaru broke her out of her reverie. Kagome shook her head, "Nothing. I just got lost in thought." "Must have been serious for you to make a face like that," Sesshomaru pressed on. Kagome wiggled out of her lover's embrace and replied, "It's nothing too serious. Just flashbacks." Sesshomaru cocked and eyebrow, "You will tell me tonight over dinner on what is really going on. I know you Kagome. You like to keep things to yourself so that you save others from the inconvenience. We'll have to break you of this habit." Kagome bristled, "It's nothing like that at all. I just don't tell everyone everything about my life. I don't even think you would understand Sesshomaru."
"You don't want to tell me because you don't think I will understand? Would it have to do with emotions again? I think this Sesshomaru is getting to understand them and is actually experiencing them. I'm not a block of ice," Sesshomaru explained as he grabbed Kagome by the shoulders. "I know you're not a block of ice. Your actions lately state otherwise. I'm grateful to you for so many things but I just need to mull this one out," she stated. Sesshomaru grunted, "Just like last time and look what happened. You got attacked because I gave you that space, but now you don't have that luxury. You do mean something to me, something special; and damn me for admitting it." Kagome's eyes lit up, "Do you mean that?"
Sesshomaru nodded, "Of course Kagome." "It's not just lust?" Kagome questioned. "You're not one of my harem women. There is more to this complicated relationship then just lust now. Rest assured that I wouldn't want anyone else but you. Being bonded means more to demons then you know. My obligation for you is the equivalent to marriage in the human realm," Sesshomaru explained. "Marriage?" Kagome gasped. Sesshomaru sighed, "Don't get upset over it. Like I said before, this only affects me." Kagome didn't mean it like that and she was hurt that he would think that of her. She wouldn't mind being married to him at all if he loved her. He has to love her before she would ever finish the bonding, but like before; she would never tell him that. Sesshomaru has to figure it out on his own.
"Now does that put some of your worries to rest?" Sesshomaru asked. Kagome didn't want to have this conversation anymore so she receded to his question and said, "Yes, for now." "Good because I really have to be going," he said as he began to walk to the sliding door. Before he left he said, "Rin will be brought here soon. Have a good day." Before Kagome could respond he was gone without a trace. Kagome wanted to be mad but she was also happy. She wondered if someone could feel those two emotions at once and not get confused. She was happy that he had deeper feelings for her then she thought but she was also pissed off because she just want to say three simple words 'I love you'. Was that so hard to do?
Kagome just let out a long sigh and just accepted how things were for now. She couldn't expect him to know love just yet. So far he had been doing well with what he had been managing. She should be proud of him and maybe if she shared more of her thoughts with him then he would be more responsive to her. It could be worth a try. Maybe tonight she would tell him about how she time traveled and see how he took that. It would be a good test on how much he believed her, but it was a little bit of a twisted story anyway.
Kagome wouldn't back down from this. She would follow through with it and force herself to tell him. With that firm affirmation in mind she heard the door slide open and a little Rin bounding at her with energy that nearly knocked Kagome over. "This Rin missed Kagome! Are you feeling better?" Rin squealed out with a huge smile. Kagome laughed as she caught Rin and said, "Yes of course I am. Now I was told to watch you today and I have so many things planned for us." "This Rin is excited. Will we be able to go out into the garden because this Rin hasn't been able to since you got hurt?" Rin asked. Kagome flinched for a moment, "I don't think Sesshomaru would want us to go outside, but I know a lot of games we can play inside."
At first Rin pouted but her interest got caught again when she heard the word game. "What games?" Rin questioned with renewed enthusiasm. Kagome smiled, "We can play hide and seek. There are a lot of places to hide in the castle. What do you say?" Rin nodded in agreement, "This Rin would love to play hide and seek. I want to hide!" "Of course. I will count to ten and you have to hurry and go hide. Ready?" Kagome chanted. Rin got into a running stance while Kagome hid her eyes and began to count. Kagome heard Rin leave the room as she counted down slowly to allow the child to find a good hiding spot.
Kagome finally reached ten and she walked out of the room. She looked down the corridor and saw a door slide shut. Kagome smirked because she knew it was Rin. She was walking down the hall and saying, "I wonder where Rin could be? Where could she have hidden herself?" Kagome heard a giggle from the room where she saw the door slide. Kagome crept on her tippy toes and slid the door open to the room. Kagome immediately recognized the living space as her old room when she first came to the estate. It sent some shivers down her spine because there were a lot of bad memories within those walls. She didn't want to be in there, so she made an effort to find Rin as fast as possible. There were only a few places where she could look that a little girl could hide at.
Kagome immediately went to the bed and looked under it, hoping that Rin would be there. No one was under there and Kagome should have known better because Rin was smarter then that. "Here we are again," a voice resonated through the room. Kagome stiffened as she was on all four on the floor still. She recognized that voice from anywhere. She just hoped it was just her imagination, but when she heaved herself up to a kneeling position she saw that it was indeed real. It was Clay. Kagome immediately stood up and saw that Clay had closed the door so that anyone who passed by would know that they were in here.
"What are you doing here?" Kagome countered as she got ready for any attack he wanted to dish out. "I'm here to get you my dear," Clay said as he began to walk towards her. "Don't take another step Clay or I'll kill you where you stand. If Sesshomaru sees you then you're dead," Kagome warned him. Clay chuckled, "What, like Itsuko? You see how that turned out? He tore out her heart and then she was revived by a generous demon. I don't think that dog can do anything to me. Now get your sweet ass over here so that I can get this over with." "You've talked to Itsuko?" Kagome asked. Clay nodded, "Of course. She and I are lovers after all. I remember when she found me."
"Clay I finally found you," Itsuko said when she found Clay in the old cabin. He was hovering over the bed and looked miserable. His face lightened up when he saw her alive and moving, "Itsuko! It's you! How are you alive? Last time I was in here I saw your dead body. I didn't think it would be wise to go back to the castle." "It's a good thing that you didn't because Sesshomaru knows about what we did. He killed me in that bed and I was brought back to life," Itsuko explained. Clay got a look of disbelief on his face, "How is that possible?" "A demon named Naraku have powers that you wouldn't believe and he did me this favor because I am useful to him," she said as she came up to Clay.
"You smell of miasma. Did you sleep with this demon?" Clay asked, now sounding jealous. Itsuko nodded, "He is my master now and I serve him. If he wants to sleep with me then I let him. He's not so bad, but please don't be jealous with him sweetheart. I have already been through so much. My brother was killed by that nasty dog and then he killed me. You know I still love you." Clay grabbed Itsuko and kissed her roughly on the lips. He released her and smoothed out her long hair that hung loosely down her shoulders. "I missed you. Do you still serve him?" Clay asked. Itsuko looked away, "Yes I do, and he holds my life in his hands." Clay growled, "I'll kill him!"
Itsuko put her finger over his lips, "Don't say things like that Clay. He is powerful and you'll die at his hands if you tried. No, he asked me to talk to you about something actually." Clay's interest became piqued. "There is this jewel that the miko had, but that dog now holds it. We need that bitch to lure Sesshomaru out so that Naraku can get what he wants. That is where you come in. I know you've been wanting her so this will be your chance." Clay's face burned red because Itsuko saw right through him. "She means nothing," Clay countered. Itsuko smirked, "And I know this my darling. I don't hold it against you. All I need you to do is to sneak in there since you know all the secret passages. Get the girl and bring her back to my master. Can you do this little favor for me?"
"What do I get in return?" Clay asked. "I can give you a little something right now, but then you have to go and get her," Itsuko offered as she was already untying the sash to his kimono. Clay gasped as she pushed him in the chair and got on her knees to his opened pants. Clay became a very happy demon indeed.
"So you want me to get Sesshomaru? He won't do it," Kagome tried to lie. Clay chuckled, "You really think I'm stupid don't you? Sesshomaru will because he has feelings for you. Now stop procrastinating and come over here wench." Kagome held her ground and hoped that Rin would stay hidden for her own safety. Clay rushed over to Kagome using his demon speed and grabbed her by her hair. Kagome yelped out in pain. Clay sniffed her and his face snapped back. "You smell just like that dog. What did you do with him miko? Did you fuck him!" Clay nearly roared out. Kagome smiled herself and said, "Why? Would that bother you if I did? I don't belong to you."
"You were supposed to be mine," Clay yelled as he pushed her onto the floor. Kagome felt the air rush out of her lungs as he savagely turned her over to where her rump was in the air. He tore at her kimono until it was in shreds. "I will make you mine right here, right now. Now stay still you bitch!" Clay announced as he shoved Kagome's face into the floor. Kagome was trying to struggle but he had her right where he wanted her. Kagome looked to the side and saw two little feet behind the curtain. They were shaking and Kagome was just glad that Rin was safe. She just hoped that Clay would be too occupied with her to notice that there was another person in the room.
Kagome felt the cold air as her skin became exposed. "Stop!" Kagome cried out. Clay slapped her buttocks so hard that she yelped in tortured pain. Kagome felt his hands on her and she was becoming scared that if something didn't happen soon then she would be raped by this demon. That is when Kagome heard the scream of a little girl. Rin came out and attacked Clay with her little fists. "You leave Kagome alone!" Rin yelled out as she hit Clay on his leg. Clay just kicked her off and said, "Great now I have to kill this little girl." Clay released Kagome long enough to where she could get up off the ground. Kagome pushed Clay before he had a chance to hurt Rin.
"Don't you hurt her you bastard!" Kagome yelled out as a pink glow was radiating off of her. "Rin run!" Rin did as she was told and ran out of the room to get her lord Sesshomaru. Clay backed off as he saw the glow resonating around her. "You can't control that," Clay scoffed at her. The pink hue cast a wind that made her kimono open to reveal her naked body, caused by Clay ripping it up. She looked like a sexy devil coming from hell to get revenge. "After everything you have done to me and now the ones I love, you will die," Kagome said this as she walked to Clay in a slow stride. Clay backed up. Kagome finally harnessed her energy a screamed was ripped from her throat as the holy energy blasted from her and encompassed Clay, disintegrating him into nothing but ashes. Kagome fell to the floor falling quickly into unconsciousness.
She heard a voice penetrating the haze of her sleeping mind. Her head hurt with the vibrations. "Kagome… Kagome wake up," Sesshomaru almost pleaded with her. Kagome moaned as her face was being patted. Kagome opened her eyes and saw that she was in their bed in their room. "Kagome," Sesshomaru called her name as he looked down at her. "I'm alright," Kagome croaked out. She heard Sesshomaru sigh. "No you're not. Rin told me everything after I got you from the room. You were almost raped by that Clay bastard. I will kill Naraku for trying to mess with what belongs this Sesshomaru," Sesshomaru growled out as his fist clenched. Kagome was offended at first but realized he was just protective. She sat up and noticed that she was now in her nightgown.
"Listen Sesshomaru, everyone is in danger because of me and what I brought here. The jewel shards are evil and I need to take it back before someone else gets hurt," Kagome insisted. "I won't allow you to have them," Sesshomaru retorted. Kagome huffed, "I'm not playing around. Give them back to me and let me go. I don't want anything to happen to Rin or you. I don't know what I would do if anything did happen."
"I'm not playing around either."
"You will give me the jewel shards Sesshomaru. This isn't about Inuyasha anymore."
"It hasn't been about Inuyasha for a long time Kagome."
"Then why keep it?"
"Think about it. If you had it this whole time then who would have it now?"
"Besides the point. We keep getting attacked."
"Then shut up and let me protect you."
"How can you do that when the inside of the castle isn't even safe?"
"I'm going to seek out Naraku. If I'm not here then there is no reason to attack."
"Because you have the jewel?"
Sesshomaru nodded, "Exactly. I will leave as soon as I know you're feeling better." "This has nothing to do with you Sesshomaru. If you just let me go with the jewel shards then you will be out of this mess all together. I'm the one that is burdening you. If it wasn't for me then you wouldn't be bound to me, Rin wouldn't have been kidnapped, and Rin wouldn't have almost been hurt. This is my entire fault," Kagome put her hands up to her face and did something that she never did. She began to cry. The saltwater tears were streaming down her cheeks and onto her hands. "This is entirely my fault," she cried out. Sesshomaru didn't do well with tears but right now Kagome needed him.
He got onto the bed with her and held her close to him. "It's not your fault Kagome. I am the one who is to blame. I did buy you after all and forced you to stay here. Don't blame yourself," Sesshomaru cooed softly. "I don't want to lose someone who means more then anything else dose," Kagome hiccupped. "I mean the most to you? I thought you just liked me," Sesshomaru tried to make a joke, but it obviously wasn't working. Kagome looked up at him through her hands, "You don't even know the half of it Sesshomaru. I'm just worthless. I don't even know how to control these stupid powers." Sesshomaru realized that she was getting despaired and he had no idea how to fix it. Kagome continued, "I'm not good enough to be loved, to be nothing more then a shard detector, to get good grades in school. Just nothing."
"You know none of that is true," Sesshomaru insisted. "Do you love me? Do you love me more then anything? You act like it sometimes, but then you disappoint me when I know it isn't true. I'm just a fragile human woman with weak emotions that mean nothing. What can I do to fix this?" Kagome tried to dry up her tears. Sesshomaru realized that this was far deeper then just the jewel. She was talking about her heart and what she was feeling. Was she in love with him? She was talking like she already was, yet she hadn't said anything to him about it. Was she waiting for something to happen before she confessed her feelings to him. "Kagome, why did you decide to sleep with me?" Sesshomaru asked.
Kagome pulled away from Sesshomaru and looked away. "I know it has something to do with that because we were talking about emotions this morning. Something is hurting you inside; it's because of me isn't it? You love me don't you? That's why you gave yourself to me," he said this and saw the change in her facial expression. Kagome didn't respond. Sesshomaru forced her to look at him.
"Tell me Kagome. Just be honest with me and tell me what you feel, what you think, what you need. I will be there," Sesshomaru said as he waited for her to say something. Kagome bit her lip and the pain on her face melted into the tears that ran down her face once more. "I love you Sesshomaru. I love you so much that it hurts. I can't…" Kagome wasn't able to finish as Sesshomaru kissed her with a new fevered passion. He dragged himself fully onto the bed as he encompassed her with his own. He would show her the love he had for her. Love? Was this how it felt to love?