Warning: This chapter contains some male/male sexual content.
Chapter 5 - Turning Dreams into Reality
"Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living".
- Anais Nin
Harry was woken by someone gently shaking him and he growled whilst pulling the covers over his head. The gentle voice of Dumbledore filtered through Harry's sleep fogged brain "Harry you need to wake up now."
Harry's head quickly reappeared from under the covers "Headmaster what are you..." the memories of the previous night came flooding back. "Oh yes, sorry I must have dosed off, is Professor Snape OK?" He sat up in the transfigured makeshift bed and looked over at Snape who was still sleeping peacefully.
"Yes Harry he is fine, you fell asleep before we could clean you up and get you back to your own bed. I believed it best that you stayed here and got some rest but I think it may be wise for you to join your friends for breakfast before Severus wakes up. Please use Severus's shower before leaving however, I think the sight and smell of you might offend your friends greatly" Harry looked down at himself. There were still areas of dried blood on his torso. "That is after a few cleaning spells Harry and you do smell as though you have turned into a creature of the night!"
"Ughh yeah I do a bit" Harry said grimacing as the metallic smell of dried blood wafted up at him.
"I took the liberty of fetching you a full set of school clothes and clean robes from your dormitory and they are already in the bathroom for you. Dumbledore said indicating towards a door behind him.
"Thank you." "Oh and Sir, there were some things that you wanted to tell me last night, can we arrange a time to have that conversation? I think I have worked out a few things on my own but I still have a lot of questions"
"Yes certainly, I am not at all surprised you have a lot of questions Harry, you have had a lot to deal with the last few months and I must admit I have not always been very forthcoming with certain... things. How about we meet for a bite of lunch at 1pm in my office?"
Harry agreed and was glad he wasn't going to have to wait days to speak with the Headmaster. A few things had become clearer as he had been working with Madam Pomfrey last night and he was a bit annoyed that he had been kept in the dark about Order business, but he was determined to convince the Headmaster that he was old enough to join now. He didn't see the point in waiting any longer when Voldemort wasn't going to be hanging about to start planning on how he could get rid of Harry until he was old enough. He needed to understand more about the fight against Voldemort , especially in light of the prophecy and his part in it.
"Now pip, pip go and get ready and I will see you later" Dumbledore said as he started walking out the room. "Oh Harry if your friends ask, you spent the night in the Infirmary with pain from a badly repaired broken nose" and with that he was gone.
Harry showered and dressed quickly. It was just after 8am and his friends would be heading to the Great Hall. He slipped out of the bathroom feeling a bit strange to be in Snape's bedroom but part of him still felt very much at home.
"Potter, you are still here I see and have taken it upon yourself to make yourself at home in my private rooms!" Snape said in a sneering voice.
"Professor! You're awake!" Harry said smiling.
"Obviously" Snape sneered, rolling his eyes
"No need to be sarcastic, Professor, it's just that you were supposed to be asleep for another 2 hours. How are you feeling?" Harry asked brushing off the irritation at Snape's tone and attitude.
"That, I believe is none of your business, now please leave." Snape growled.
"None of my business!" Harry almost shouted as he strode over to stand beside Snape's bed. "I think you will find it is my business. I spent most of last night saving your sorry ass and if you think you can brush me off with not so much as a ..." Harry was cut off as Snape jumped out of bed and grabbed him by his school robes. He was pushed hard against the wall and pinned there by the full wieght of Snapes body against him.
"I believe you will find that if you rack that thick underused brain of yours Potter you will in fact remember that I did say thank you to you, LAST NIGHT! Although why I felt it necessary I will never know. If you think I will now become forever grateful for you actions you are sorely mistaken, you obnoxious little brat!"
Harry was furious as he fought against the vice grip Snape had on him. "How dare you! I was not looking for a thank you! I was merely looking for a civil answer to a civil question about how you were feeling after a bad night, but I can see you have returned to your usual evil sadistic self and therefore must be feeling just fine!" Harry shouted in Snape's face. "Now if you please let go of me I have some friends who will be worried about me, but I assume you don't understand what it is to have friends that care for you!"
The pressure from Snape's body increased and he was painfully pressed into the wall behind him.
Snape leant down, their faces a hair breadth apart. Harry saw some unidentified emotion flicker through Snape's eyes before he growled and suddenly let go of Harry's robes.
"Get out! Now!"
"Gladly" Harry shot back as he stalked from the room and slammed the door.
Harry was seething, but the confrontation with Snape had sorted at least one thing out in his mind. He truly did despise the man regardless of how he appeared to be risking his life regularly for the Order! He was a greasy evil sadistic bastard and he wouldn't be surprised if his allegiances were still with Voldemort and was actually spying on, not for, the Order!
Harry took the longest route possible to the Great Hall. He needed to calm down before meeting his friends. During his walk his mind went over what had just happened and after lots of angry thoughts and ravings he started to see that maybe he had overreacted a little. He wouldn't have been in a very good mood either if he had been in Snape's position. He might not have reacted in quite the same way but he could understand being irritated by an intrusion into his private life by someone he didn't even like. His mind slowly turned to how Snape had pinned him against the wall. The man had only been dressed in thin silk pyjama bottoms and he had seen and felt the tension in the muscled chest, arms and thighs as he had pushed harder against him. Oh and that thigh he thought with a smirk remembering his dream and how, just moments before, it had actually been pressed hard against his groin. Harry thought about how Snape had leant down and his how his lips had been slightly parted and so close to his own; he was growing hard at the memory he realised. Well maybe he hadn't quite worked out how he felt feel about the greasy old git, but at least he now knew he definitely preferred wizards!Holding Cho or Ginny against him had left him cold and now he knew why, he definitely preferred a hard muscled body to soft curves any day.
He walked into the Great Hall with a silly grin on his face and plopped down onto the bench opposite Ron and Hermione.
"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed.
"How's your nose" Ron asked giving Harry a questioning look.
"My nose?" Harry said as he lifted his hand to his face. "Oh yeah its fine, Madame Pomfrey had to re-fix it but it fine now"
"Not even one full day into the new school year Harry and you have already spent more nights in the Infirmary than your own bed! I am glad you find it something to smile about!"Hermione said shaking her head in disgust.
"Yeah you look particularly cheery this morning" Ron said looking a bit confused by his mate's smile. "Are you going to tell us how you managed to break your nose in the first place" Ron said in-between stuffing pieces of sausage in his mouth.
"I got on the wrong end of Malfoy's foot as I am sure you are aware. I am sure the whole school knows by know".
"Yeah we heard the ferret saying something about you and your nose" Ron said.
"So are you going to enlighten us as to how you came about being at the wrong end of Malfoy's foot? Hermione huffed.
"I will, but not here." Harry said looking around and noticing a few students at the table trying to listen in to their conversation. "After lunch, when we all have a free period."
"Why don't we all have lunch out at the lake and you can tell us then" Hermione said "At least we won't be wasting school hours chatting and can maybe do some studying together in our free period"
"Sorry 'mione I can't, I am busy over lunch" Harry said whilst having another quick look round then added quietly "I have a meeting with Professor Dumbledore"
"Oh yes your extra lessons" Hermione exclaimed excitedly.
"Sshhh keep your voice down" Harry groaned.
"Unlucky mate" Ron muttered "Oh well never mind what are we going to do after breakfast. Neither of us have any classes now either"
"Maybe study" said Hermione who was collecting her large pile of school books and leaving for her first class.
"I was just about to talk to you both about that" the familiar voice of Professor McGonagall came from behind the boys. "Since you look entirely too happy this morning Mr. Potter, I thought I would inform you that Professor Slughorn is quite amenable to accepting students with an Exceeds Expectations in their potions O.W.L . onto his N.E.W.T class, so both of you, Mr Weasley, Mr Potter are expected there in 10 minutes."
Ron groaned loudly whilst stuffing another sausage into his mouth.
"But Professor neither Ron nor I have bought the Potions textbooks or any ingredients" said Harry
"I am sure Professor Slughorn will see you right, now chop chop, no dilly dallying, you don't want to be late to your first class" Professor McGonagall said with a smile as she gracefully moved on to talk with another group of students.
"But I don't want to take potions" grumbled Ron.
"Tough, it looks like you don't have a choice" Harry said still smiling.
"What is it with you this morning Harry, Professor McGonagall is right you do look entirely too happy, especially for someone who has spent the night in the Infirmary getting their nose re-set!"
"Come on, we are going to be late" Harry said ignoring Ron's question. Ron pulled himself away from his plate of sausage and both boys started walking towards the dungeons.
Harry did feel happy, he was absolutely exhausted but had a sense of peace that he couldn't ever remember feeling before. He realised that he had been confused and lost since Sirius had died and he was still struggling to come to terms with the guilt he felt about that, but it was getting better. He was still pretty scared about what the prophecy had revealed but he didn't feel so alone anymore. He had been living in a cloud of confusion and had even been denying his sexuality for some time he realised. He had not been willing to recognise what was obviously true and felt a bit silly now for not having accepted his preferences sooner, although he still felt as if he had no right thinking about such personal things when people were dying in a war he needed to stop! There was something still niggling at the back of his mind, he knew it was about his strange feelings for Snape, but he managed to push the thoughts away about how crazy it all was. He just wanted to enjoy the way the man made him feel and not question it, just for a while. No-one had every made him feel quite so at peace before and he was happy to be feeling something any normal teenager does, although it wasn't maybe all that normal to want to be with Snape he thought with a smile.
Ron poked Harry in the ribs hard.
"Oi, what was that for!" Harry complained.
"You're a million miles away, you haven't heard a word I was saying have you mate?" Ron said smiling.
"Sorry Ron I am bit tired, didn't get much sleep last night" Harry replied
"Dopey grin, un-slept in bed and mind in the clouds, if it hadn't been Dumbledore himself that told me you were in the Infirmary all last night I would say you had made that up as a cover story for having spent a romantic night with a girl!" Ron laughed
Harry choked out a laugh. He's almost right he thought although not about it being a girl and not it being a romantic night, but he had spent it with someone he couldn't stop thinking about!
They had reached the potions classroom and Harry heard Snape's snake whisper behind him in parseltongue. "Hello my little ssssnake, will you pleasssse come and ssseee me sssoon, you and I needsss to talk."
Harry had no time to answer or to think about what the snake had said, as Ron abruptly pushed Harry into the potions classroom.
The class had already started but Slughorn seemed pleased to see Harry and told them to each get a book from the cupboard and join the class.
There were two copies of Advance Potions Making in the cupboard. One was particularly battered and dog-eared while the other one was in much better condition. Both he and Ron made a lunge for the newer book but as Harry's hand brushed against the old used copy, a peculiar sensation shot up his arm. It was a pleasant warm, tingling sensation that reminded him of the strange feelings he'd had at the (real not dream!) gates of Hogwarts when Snape had been standing staring at him. The sensation had startled him and distracted him from the fight over the newer book. Ron won the fight and Harry eagerly snatched up the old battered textbook. He felt an instant connection to the book and was a little concerned as he remembered Tom Riddles diary back in 2nd year.
He warily clutched the book and headed further into the classroom. There were a number of cauldrons bubbling in the centre of the room and the girls were gravitating towards one that smelt amazing to Harry. He could smell a musky spicy scent with a hint of peppermint and sesame oil. It really was quite arousing and intoxicating! Slughorn slammed the lid on the cauldron and the scent disappeared. I wonder what that was he thought, it had reminded him of Snape he realised but that's wasn't surprising since the man must stink of potions.
The class went really well and the old book had lots of hand written notes and instruction written in the margins. He even had managed to brew a perfect Draft of the Living Dead for which he won a phial of liquid luck. The book had belonged to someone who called themselves the Half Blood Prince and Harry thought he must have been very good a potions, maybe it had been Snape's he thought with a smile. "Half blood" he muttered "No it can't be his he was from a pureblood family surely"
"You talking to yourself now mate" Ron said, "Definately something I don't know about is going on with you and I will find out what it is you know, even if I have to get 'Mione on your case. You've been acting right weird recently"
"I've got a fair bit on my mind just now, as you should know Ron" Harry replied a bit irritably "Sorry if you think that makes me weird, everyone else thinks that anyway, so why shouldn't you"
"Eh? God Harry I was just having a laugh!"
"Sorry Ron just could do without my friends calling me weird that's all"
As the boys finished packing up their things at the end of the class, he once again experienced a strange sensation and a mental picture of Snape sitting in his bedroom with his head in his hands, flashed through his mind. I must get Snape of my mind he thought or my friends will really start to know I am weird. He pushed the image away and ran out the classroom to try and catch up with Ron and Hermione and ran straight into the man himself coming out his rooms, almost knocking him off his feet. Snape straightened himself up quickly and loomed down on Harry as their eyes met and locked.
"20 points from Gryffindor for not watching where you were going and detention tonight in my office at 8pm" Snape maliciously growled at him. "and there will be more points lost if you don't stop standing staring at me you impudent little brat". Harry kept his eyes firmly on Snape's and quietly said with as much feeling as he could muster "I am sorry Professor". Snape snorted and snapped his eyes away, looked quickly at Ron and Hermione with a sneer and strode off with his robes billowing behind him.
Harry wasn't sorry for bumping into Snape it had been an accident and it was Snape that had started the staring he thought, but he hoped Snape maybe realised he was saying sorry for the way he had just expected to be welcomed by the man into his bedroom that morning. He was even beginning to feel a little guilty for his intrusion into the man's life and the way he had spoken to him, even though Snape had been an obnoxious git about it all, what had he expected! He was glad though that he would see him again tonight in detention and smiled at the thought.
Ron had started laughing "You just about knocked the greasy old git on his arse Harry, did you see his face!"
"Ron! Harry! It was not funny, did you not notice how tired and drawn Professor Snape looked? He looked really awful, his eyes are all red and puffy and he looks as though he hasn't slept in a month!" Hermione said in her usual style of worrying about everybody whilst giving Harry a strange questioning look.
Oh damn he maybe had over down the heartfelt apology bit in front of his friend he realised.
"Yeah he also looked like he hasn't had a bath in a month either 'mione what else is new!" Ron said still laughing.
Harry gave a small laugh and hoped that Hermione stopped looking at him strangely.
Snape had looked dreadful Harry thought he looked worse than he had done earlier that morning. He wondered if he had been called by Voldemort again after he had left. Harry thought he had seen pain in his dark eyes and it looked as though he had been crying. He hoped to Merlin the man hadn't been through any more torture.
The trio started heading towards their next class, which was Defence Against the Dark Arts and Harry wasn't sure if he was looking forward to it or dreading it. He was determined to not piss Snape off again and mentally tried to prepare himself against anything he might throw at him.
They arrived on time at the DADA classroom but the door was closed. A few minutes later the door snapped open and Snape ordered everyone inside. The classroom was dark, shutters pulled over the windows and only a few candles lit to highlight the images that were hung around the room. The images were pretty disturbing and the students eyed them warily.
Snape strode into the room in his usual dramatic style once everyone was seated and stopped in front of his desk before whipping around to face the class. His eyes scanned briefly over all the faces looking up at him, when he reached Harry's however their eyes met and his gaze lingered a little longer. Harry maintained the look but let out a small sigh as they moved on. Oh god he thought, he didn't think he was going to get through this without either screaming, running out the classroom or throwing myself into Snape's arms, which is where he felt he really needed to be right now!
Snape started talking and his voice was low and caressing. He sounded as though he was talking about something he truly loved. He was talking about the many heads of the dark arts Harry realised and was a bit perturbed that the man seemed to actually love the evil he was talking about.
He did however start talking in a louder voice as he continued explaining about the defences to said dark arts. He was apparently going to teach them how to use nonverbal spells and although Harry had practiced wandless, nonverbal magic he had never been over successful unless extremely stressed. Snape explained that to achieve successful consistent nonverbal spell casting the caster had to be able to concentrate their mind.
"However the ability to focus one's mind to achieve said levels of concentration..." Snape turned abruptly and locked eyes with Harry again and continued "...some wizards sorely lack" Snape was obviously referring to the disastrous Occlumency lesson last year Harry thought. Once again Harry maintained the gaze, trying to keep the anger out his eyes, which wasn't overly difficult since he was actually feeling bit hurt that Snape continued to badger and put him down in front of his classmates especially now he knew he was apparently very good at Occlumency. The memory of Dumbledore laughing whilst lying in a pile of books came back. Harry gave a small smile at the memory and Snape who presumably thought Harry was smiling at him growled and turned abruptly and strode back to his desk.
The Professor paired everyone up and instructed that they were to practice casting a nonverbal minor jinx at their partner whilst the other attempted to shield against it. Harry and Ron were paired together and Ron had been trying to send a jinx towards Harry for about 10 minutes. Nothing was happening and Harry stood silently trying to erect a shield against anything that might fly towards him.
As usual, Hermione was the first to wordlessly repel a, verbally whispered, jinx that Neville had sent towards her. Hermione was beaming delightedly but Snape chose to ignore the achievement as he swept between the practicing pairs. "Utterly pathetic Weasley" Snape sneered as he approached Harry and Ron. Let me show you how it is done as he took Ron's place standing opposite Harry and drew his wand. Harry panicked and instinctively closed his mind as he had done the previous evening when Dumbledore had sent a Legilimens towards him. The next thing he knew he was in Snape's mind. He obviously had just sent a nonverbal Legilimens at him in the middle of a class and it had rebounded or something! How dare he Harry thought. He started to watch images of Snape lying naked on a stone floor being whipped with what looked like a 9 pronged whip that had small metal knives bound into the leather at the end of each prong. Harry gasped, in horror and he wanted to go and help the man. The memory quickly changed to one that had occurred this morning when Snape had pressed Harry against his bedroom wall. But watching the incident remotely now Harry realised that Snape was aroused and was struggling not to roughly kiss him when leant down and brought his face so close to his. The memory continued as he watched himself leave the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Snape then sat heavily on his bed and proceeded to cover his face with his hands and begin to sob.
Harry heard a deep low growling sort of scream and the next thing he knew he flew backwards and smashed into the desk behind him. As he lay there panting he became aware of the shocked silence in the room, the only other noise that joined his heavy breathing was the harsh breathing of their Professor who was currently also sprawled out on the floor. Harry jumped up quickly as the other students stood slack jawed staring between him and Snape. Snape slowly started trying to get to his feet and Harry was aware that the other man was in obvious pain. A shot of worry speared through him and he started towards him. "Get out! All of you. NOW". Harry stopped walking towards Snape but stood stalk still not making any attempt to leave. The rest of the class scurried quickly to gather their things and started rushing out into the corridor and whispering amongst themselves.
"Harry! Come on!" Ron said anxiously.
"Just go Ron" Harry replied not taking his eyes off the prone Professor, who had also not broken the gaze. Hermione said nothing but grabbed Ron's arm and pulled him out of the class and closed the door behind her.
"Hermione! We can't leave him in there with that evil old bastard. He's our friend and Snape is going to kill him!" Harry heard his friend exclaim outside the door.
"I am sure he will be fine Ron, lets go" Hermione answered with a worried look on her face.
Snape had managed to rise to his feet, the gaze turned into a glower as they both stood panting heavily. "Well well Mr. Potter it seems as though something I taught you last year has managed to stick in that nonexistent brain of yours" Snape sneered through harsh breaths, who was trying to compose himself and stop his face from betraying any outward signs of emotion.
"Professor, I..I.. I am sorry you were thrown across the room in front of your students, it wasn't intentional."
Snape, seemed to be lost for words, letting Harry ramble on.
"I didn't know you would use Legilimens on me, but I tried to erect strong shield to my mind instinctively. I am sure if it had been any other spell it would only have been me lying sprawled out on the floor."
After a few seconds pause Harry spoke again hesitantly.
"Professor, I think you and I need to talk about last night and this morning".
"There is nothing to talk about Potter! You should not have come to my rooms in the middle of the night and I should never have let you in. That is all there is to say on the matter!"
"But Professor, I did come to your rooms and you did let me in" Harry said quietly slowly advancing towards Snape.
The next thing Harry knew he was being pushed back against the desk roughly. Their eyes met briefly before both of them groaned as they simultaneously lunged forward greedily capturing each other's mouth in a hard bruising kiss. Snape sucked and bit Harry's lower lip hard before pushing his tongue roughly into his mouth. Harry was instantly on fire, every nerve ending was burning with wanting this man closer and harder against him. He put his arms around Snape's back and pulled the man's body firmly against his own whilst returning the kiss as roughly as his own mouth had been taken. Snape responded immediately pushing Harry down so that he was lying back flat over the top of the desk. His feet came off the floor and his legs parted to allow Snape between them. The kiss never broke and the weight of Snape's body on top of him pressed down on Harry's. He could feel Snape's hard cock rub against his leg as Harry's own throbbing member was pressed into Snape's stomach. His hips thrusted involuntarily and he groaned into the amazing mouth that was still roughly devouring his lips and tongue. The kiss abruptly stopped and Snape jumped away from Harry as though burned. Harry was left aching for the body that had been pressed so intoxicatingly into his own. "Get out" Snape said quietly turning away from him. Harry could hardly breathe and he was aware Snape was also breathing heavily. "Please Professor" Harry pleaded with man wanting him to continue what had been started.
"You don't know what you are asking for Potter, now please leave" Snape panted out with a hint of disgust in his voice.
Harry quickly gathered up his things and walked to the door. He turned to look at Snape before leaving to see that he had turned and was watching Harry leave. He could almost feel the pain and sadness that shone briefly in Snape's eyes before becoming hard and cold again. Harry dropped his eyes and left the classroom.
A/N I know some of you expected the next chapter to be about the meeting between Dumbledore and Harry but I needed to bring a little more interaction between Severus and Harry before that happens! Thanks to the readers that have reviewed I am glad there are a few people enjoying it and the comments have spurred me on to write this story which I have had mapped out for a while.
To "The Potters of the Future" Thanks for your comment. I know what you mean about Harry seeming a bit thick at the beginning of this story it wasn't actually meant to come across like that, more that he was just very confused. I hope that it is maybe becoming a bit clearer that there might be a reason why his mind is in a bit of a mess. Let me know what you think!
Anyway hope this chapter is ok please let me know what you all think, although I am enjoying writing it I am not very sure of myself and don't know if I am managing to do the story in my head justice!