Chapter 7 - Gossip
"There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true". -Winston Churchill
"Harry! Bloody Hell, you're alive!"Ron said as Harry sat next to his friend.
Harry had gone for a short walk to try clear his head before heading to supper, so was a little late. He had missed dinner and had only managed one sandwich for lunch, so was starving.
"Obviously" Harry said smiling as he grabbed some toast and pumpkin juice. "Glad to see that if I died you would still be sitting eating supper as if nothing had happened"
"Ha very funny Harry, I was worried about you mate, Hermione and I had a right fight when you didn't turn up for dinner, I told her we shouldn't have left you with that greasy old bastard after what happened in class. I thought he had maybe killed you!"
"Oh yeah that. Kind of forgot about that." Harry said as he quickly looked round at the few students who were in the Great Hall. They were all looking at him or whispering to each other quietly.
"You've forgotten about it, jeez Harry the whole schools talking about it!"
"It was no big deal Ron, how bad has it got?" Harry asked but not really wanting to hear.
"Oh you know nothing too bad just that Snape sent an Unforgivable at you and you blocked him or you tried to kill Snape and he blocked you. You know that sort of thing nothing too crazy," he said sarcastically. "Actually considering that is how it kind of looked with how bloody powerful the whole thing was, I'm not that surprised really". Ron had not stopped eating the whole time he spoke. Harry never normally bothered coming to supper but Ron never missed it. "There are a few wild rumours about it being a lovers tiff and that sort of crap as well and I kind of see where that has come from, but for Merlin's sake folk are just crazy to even consider that. This is Snape we are talking about, urghhh "
"What? A Lovers tiff? Powerful? What the..."
"Ach Harry I would just ignore the crap about lovers tiff, you know what it is like, the least little look can mean you are getting married or something, but yeah you and Snape are the latest talk, bloody disgusting thought eh? Hilarious but disgusting!"
Harry stood up and grabbed another slice of toast and motioned to Ron to come with him. He stole a quick glance at the high table and saw Severus watching him. He was sitting next to Professor McGonagall, who appeared to be giving him a right telling off, she looked furious and was gesticulating wildly as she spoke.
Harry gave him a sad apologetic look and left the Hall with Ron. They headed down towards the lake to get away from any prying ears.
"Right mate are you actually going to tell me what the hell happened and if it is no big deal, why can't you just tell me in the Hall while I eat my supper!"
"Ron it really wasn't that big a deal but you know how I am, I like to keep what I say about stuff like this private 'cos it just gets twisted around to fit whatever sorry story they have concocted"
"Fair enough. Are you going to tell me what happened then?"
"Yeah I will but I need to understand more about what you and the others saw in class, what's all this crap about a lovers tiff and how powerful it was? I mean we both just ended up on our arse. Even a fairly minor spell when cast at the same time in a duel can do that you know!" Harry was starting to get a bit anxious about what the class had seen.
"You kiddin! There was nothing bloody minor about what happened, and you bloody well know it! I mean the whole bloody classroom shook and it knocked a couple o' folk, who were standing closest, including myself, on their arses too and the way you and the greasy git looked at each other, and the lights, Merlin it was weird and well creepy!"
"Ron you better tell me what everyone saw from the beginning" Harry said scowling.
"Me tell you?, Harry don't you think it should be you telling me what happened!"
"I will but first I want to know what everyone think they saw, ok"
"Alright but I was knocked on my arse too so I might have missed something."
Harry nodded to encourage his friend to go on.
"When Snape drew his wand on you, the pair of you locked eyes and it was the bloody creepiest thing I have ever seen mate, I've got to admit it, then you both started moving closer together" Ron said screwing up his face in a disgust, "the whole time there was these strands of lights dancing round you both and a there was this low, vibrating, buzzing sort of noise. When you got close enough to the greasy old git, the strands of light surrounding him kind of merged with the ones around you and there was this almighty explosion of light and you both sort of, well kind of shouted something, I think, that's when I was knocked on my arse and the room shook so I can't say for sure about the shouting thing 'cos I might have sort of screamed myself. When I sat up you and Snape were on your arses too sitting there still staring at each other. You got to your feet and started walking towards where Snape was still sitting and you looked well kind'o weird. Then he told us all to get out. It all happened really fast."
Harry sat quietly for a few moments thinking about what Ron had just told him.
"Ok wow I didn't realise it had been that...well ...big a deal really, to watch I mean. Shit."
"Do you know what we shouted at the end" Harry asked.
"Errrm well like I say I never really heard it" he replied looking at his now cold toast.
"Come on Ron I am sure Hermione has told you."
With a big sigh Ron said quietly "You shouted out each other's names...you first names"
Oh shit, Harry thought, this really isn't good.
"Harry? Are you alright mate? You've gone a bit pale. I thought you said it was no big deal"
"Yeah well I didn't think it would have looked like a big deal" Harry muttered.
"So you are saying it was a big deal and you were going to pretend to me it wasn't? I thought I was your best mate, you're not supposed to lie to your best mate!"
"Ron you are my best mate and really I didn't think it was that big a deal at the time, I mean Se...nape shouldn't have cast what he did at me in class, especially as a nonverbal spell but it was nothing I wasn't used to really and I kind of knew he was going to do it before he did. Why there were all these lights and sounds I have no idea, it has never been like that in the past. I don't think it has anyway, since there has never been anyone else around before."
"What the hell are you talking about Harry, you and Snape have been duelling on your own with no one about? Regularly?"
"No Ron. It wasn't a duelling spell he cast at me this morning, it was a nonverbal Legilimens."
"Bloody hell Harry that's illegal, unless there is a bloody good reason and it's been sanctioned by the Ministry!"
"I know Ron but he has been teaching me Occlumency, so has got used to throwing the spell about and he has been sanctioned, by Dumbledore, to use it on me."
"God you sound like your defending him Harry! He still had no right using it on you in class!"
"I am not defending him just explaining the facts and you are right he shouldn't have used it on me in class"
"Well I don't think we will have to worry about him soon anyway 'cos some folk saw him storm into his room not long after he dismissed us and he was packing up all his stuff. Dumbledore was there as well, looking right pissed off apparently. "
"Mmmm" was all Harry said. He knew Severus was not actually leaving but was a bit surprised to hear that the whole incident in the classroom witnessed or not had caused him to want to leave!"
"Ron can I ask you a few other questions? I still am not sure exactly what everyone saw. I mean you talk about Snape and I staring at each other with a creepy look, what do you mean by creepy?"
"Well you know sort of like you really, god I don't know ... emm liked each other or something, it was really bloody horrible to watch, he looked like a total sleazy old git to be looking at you like that. It is probably just the way the spell works or something when trying to connect your minds, I don't know. Then when your strands of lights touched and exploded, Hermione said you both looked really grief stricken as if being pulled apart was emotionally painful or some such rubbish; you know how girls can talk. Then you shouted out his name and he shouted out yours. I don't think you ever stopped staring at each other tho' until Snape broke it when he told us all to get out." Ron finished quietly with a sick look on his face.
Harry continued to sit quietly thinking about what Ron had told him and what the hell he was going to say to his friends in explanation for what had happened.
"Harry?"
"Mhmmm"
"Are you going to tell me what really happened mate?"
"Ron all I can tell you is that somehow when Snape cast the Legilimens, it must have rebounded or something and I ended up seeing some of his memories. They were rather personal, emotional memories, so please don't ask me to tell you what they were, because I can't. Maybe that was why we looked at each other the way we did because we were both watching the same memory together, I don't know. Shouting out each other's name I have no explanation for, but sharing someone's memories can be a very personal, difficult experience that can create a very strong, but brief, link between two people."
"Bloody Hell Harry and you've had to endure this shit, with that git, for a lot of last year? No wonder you've been acting weird recently! Why didn't you tell me how bad those lessons were?"
"It's never been like it was in class today before Ron. The lessons were bad in a different sort of way"
After a few other Greasy Git comments and general ranting about Snape from Ron, the boys made their way up to the Gryffindor Common Room.
"Ron, would you do me a favour?" asked Harry as they approached the portrait of The Fat Lady.
"Sure mate what is it?"
"Would you explain to Hermione what I have told you, I really need to get some sleep and I don't think I could handle going through all of it again with her. She's bound to have a ton of questions on Legilimens and Occlumency!"
"Yeah sure, no worries, but she is going to ask me what happened after we left you in the classroom and I forgot to ask " Ron said stopping before he said the password to the portrait guarding the entrance.
"Oh nothing much Ron, just the usual. He ranted at me for a bit and demanded that I leave" Harry said evasively. "Make sure no one can hear what you're saying though, to Hermione, ok?"
"Obviously Harry. I am not a complete idiot!"
Once in the dormitory Harry let out a long sigh as he sat on his bed. His invisibility cloak was lying on his pillow with an unsigned sealed note;
Thought you might need this, now more than ever. Use it well.
Harry let out a small laugh at the Headmasters usual evasiveness when given him permission to break curfew and go places he shouldn't. He placed his cloak at the bottom of his bed and filed the note in his small bedside table before undressing and slipping into bed. He lay for a while staring up at the red canopy above him, it was nice and peaceful in the dorm since it was still fairly early. Curfew wasn't for about another hour and the other boys were either out or in the common room. It's going to be a tough few days until this "fiasco" dies down again Harry thought morosely.
He started going over all the events of the day and was trying to work out something that bothered him about what Ron had told him. If his and Severus' souls were desperately trying to connect, and had done so previously utilising the Legilimens, then why had they been so violently pushed apart when it was clear that neither of them had tried to break the connection themselves. Indeed he believed that their souls had tried to hang onto the connection and when it was broken they were distressed. That is why they ended up practically shagging on the desk he thought. They were trying to recreate the closeness but in a physical way instead. Thank Merlin Severus stopped it he thought, he wanted to be with the man but he wasn't ready to be shagging him! He couldn't quite put his finger on it but he knew he was missing something important.
"Oh shit" Harry said out loud as he jumped from the bed and pulled on his clothes again. It was 9pm and he was supposed to have been in detention with Severus by 8pm! At least he had an excuse to go and see him. He wanted to let him know what the other students had seen and to ask what he thought about it. He grabbed his invisibility cloak and stuffed it in his robe pocket and ran down the stairs to the common room. His friends were sitting in a corner huddled together. Ron was talking animatedly, whilst Hermione was just sitting calmly nodding her head, as if what he was telling her wasn't news to her at all. Harry realised that he couldn't hear what Ron was saying, they had obviously cast a silencing charm around themselves. He slipped out the common room unseen and headed towards the dungeons in a run. As he got to the bottom of the Gryffindor Tower he was stopped by his Head of House who was standing at on the last stair. Harry groaned internally, he just wanted to get to Severus and could do without a lecture.
"Mr. Potter where do you think you are going at this time of night and at such a speed" McGonagall said in her usual tone when speaking to a wayward student.
"I am very late for a detention with Professor Snape, Professor. I got talking to my friends and just forgot!" Harry said as he started to try and slowly move away.
"I hardly think, under the circumstances, you should be spending any time in Professor Snape's office on your own Mr. Potter. I would accompany you to your detention but unfortunately I have a meeting with the Headmaster just now. I will inform Professor Snape that he will have to reschedule your detention until another time and preferably with another member of staff!" McGonagall ground out in irritation.
"There really is no need Professor, I am sure I am perfectly safe with Professor Snape and I would rather just get it over with."
"Perfectly safe? If any of the rumours I have been hearing are true regarding what happened in the 6th Year Defence class, I would hardly say you were safe, although I must say I am shocked and a little surprised at his behaviour!"
"Professor, please, you know what the rumour mill is like in this place, it wasn't that bad. We were practising non-verbal spells and he cast one at me, which I somehow managed to repel. Unfortunately we both ended up getting thrown backwards. I think we both got as big a shock as the other. It was no big deal really and Professor Dumbledore has already warned us about displaying our true magical ability and strength in front of other students. It's fine, honestly"
"Very well" she grumbled "but Potter will you please come to me if there is anything that concerns you about Professor Snape's behaviour towards you."
"Of Course" Harry lied as he turned and sped towards Severus' office.
McGonagall shook her head as she watched the boy run down the corridor. The rumour mill, as he had called it, did indeed tend to exaggerate an event but there was always an element of truth in the stories, she thought worriedly and that was why she had called the meeting with Albus she was on her way to now.
Harry arrived at Severus office in record time and was a bit out of breath. He took a second to compose himself befre knocking on the door. There was no response, he tried the handle but found it locked. Making up his mind quickly he threw on his invisibility cloak and headed towards his private quarters. He didn't want to be seen outside Severus' rooms by any of the Slytherins, that would just add fuel to the fire he thought.
He reached the metal carving of the snake guarding the man's quarters, he remembered that the snake had spoken to him earlier that day and had asked him to come and speak to him.
"Ah my little sssssnake you have come assss I requessssted" the snake hissed in parseltongue.
"Hello yesss I have come back but to see Ssseverusss. I had a detention with your Masssster and I am late" Harry responded to the snake. "I will promissse to come and sssspeak with you later."
"I wouldsss like to sssspeak with you firssst my little ssssnake jussst for a ssssecond or two. You sssssee my Masssster hassss been very upsssset sssince you came here lassst night and I want to warn he doesss not take well to thossse who do not know what they want before assssking for it. I feel your magic and hisssss are the sssssame but thisss could be very dangerousssss to both of you if you are not sssure what it isss you asssssk."
At that the door clicked open. Harry slipped inside the room as he took off his cloak and coughed to announce his presence. He was trying to decipher what the snake had meant by his comments. He would think about it later he thought as he noticed that the room was a mess. Things were strewn all over the floor and there was a large trunk full of books and other possessions lying open in the middle of it all. Severus was sitting in his armchair in front of the fire as he had done the previous night, but now just wearing the thin silk pyjama bottoms he had worn that morning. He hadn't moved or spoken since Harry had entered and continued to stare at the fire. Harry looked over the man's naked torso taking in the scars from the wounds that he had helped heal the previous night. They were still a bit red and painful looking but were healing well considering how deep they had been. These scars made him more beautiful to Harry as they were a symbol of his bravery and sacrifice to the war effort and he felt so useless and ... pathetic in comparison. He wanted to run his hand over the man's chest and kiss away every one of those scars. He really did have it bad for this man he realised, shaking his head at the insanity of the thought.
"Severus" he said quietly as he started to approach the armchair.
"Harry" was the only reply. He sounded exhausted and defeated. Severus had still not moved and Harry slowly made his way over to the chair. Severus looked so immersed in thought he actually wondered if he had registered his presence at all. He knelt down in front of him, took hold of the pale cold hands, that were resting clutched together in his lap, in his own and looked into his eyes. They were out of focus and still staring at the fire. They looked almost empty but Harry could see a flicker of what he thought was fear in them.
"Severus, are you alright?"
This seemed to snap him out of his thoughts and he looked down at the boy kneeling in front of him.
"Potter what the hell do you think you are doing here, and why are you kneeling at my feet? Get up for Merlin's sake" Severus snatched his hands out of Harry's and glared at him.
"I did cough when I came in Severus and you did acknowledge my presence by saying my name, which is Harry, if you have suddenly forgotten. As to why I am here, I came looking for you because I had a detention with you tonight and you weren't in your office!" Harry snapped back but did not get to his feet.
"The detention was at 8pm and when you didn't turn up I came here for some peace. I was hardly surprised at your no-show considering the revelations of today and the amount of time you have already had to spend in the presence of your Greasy Old Git of a Potions Masters over the last 24 hours. Now please stand up!"
"Severus please just stop. I would not be here if I did not want to be here. Professor McGonagall told me not to come, so I could have got out of it easy enough, but I wanted to see you!"
"Why on earth would you want to spend even more time with me, you crazy boy?"
"Oh I don't know Severus; maybe because I only feel safe and complete when I am with you and that I find you intriguing and brave, interesting and intelligent, gorgeous and god damn sexy and if that is not enough, we have a bloody soul bond for Merlin's sake, surely it is reasonable to want to spend time with you."
There was a pause and Severus seemed to relax a bit.
"Harry, you would not want me or feel this way if it was not for what happened the night your parents died. You would look at me like any other student; The Greasy Old Git, The Evil Sadistic Bastard, The Snake, The Dungeon Bat and all the other derogatory comments that I hear daily rather than the things you have just attributed to me. True you may not have hated me as much as you have done so over the years but you certainly would not be interested in anything other than staying out my way" Severus spat out.
"But what happened, the night my parents died, did happen and there is nothing you or I can do to change that fact. How would I feel about you had they not happened? I haven't got a clue because what lives inside me is as much a part of me now as my own soul, it is what makes me who I am, and I want to be with you. All of you."
"Harry you have grown up so much over the last year and you give a very good argument, but please don't push me on this. There are a number of things about me you don't know and should you ever find out you would not be saying these things, regardless of what lives inside you. You must try and make a normal life for yourself, once this war is over the world will be at your feet, you will meet a nice witch or wizard your own age and can be free of all the reminders of the evil that is currently in the world. You could be happy Harry. With me you would have none of these things, I will always be a Death Eater in the eyes of the wizarding world and will be shunned wherever I go, I would be a constant reminder of all that was bad in your childhood and that is if I even make it out of this war alive, for that is not a certainty." Severus had truly meant all these things as he said them but as he fell silent he remembered that this boy would indeed not survive this war and that was a certainty and he felt sick.
"I don't care what you have done in the past Severus or how other people see you. The past is the past and what we have been given, albeit unwilling at the time, should be treated as a gift. In almost all other circumstances or soul transference it is seen as something to celebrate. I want us to get to the point we can celebrate what we have in our life not mourn what we have lost. As for all I could have after the war is concerned, I don't want all that fame and world at my feet nonsense and indeed my survival is less certain than yours! I have never felt this way about any witch or wizard; you see the thing is, I have never felt anything for any girl or boy and I mean nothing. I was getting a bit worried I was asexual to be honest, but what you have awakened in me is driving me crazy! I have never felt so alive and complete and so... horny the whole bloody time! "
"You really don't understand do you? Yes you give reasonably intelligent arguments and reasons, I am truly impressed with your growing maturity but you and I just cannot be together in that way. You seem incapable of hearing a word I have said all day on why this is a bad idea. If you cannot let this go then we cann't even work towards a friendship, so please give it up for your own sake or leave"
"Ok I get it you git, you don't want me like that. You could have just said you weren't interested and should not have led me on. You're right you are a right evil sadistic bastard!" Harry got to his feet and grabbed his invisibility cloak and started to leave. He was a bit annoyed with himself that he had snapped. He had been trying really hard to not lose his temper and say something stupid and childish, as was his way when he got frustrated or angry but talking to this man was so frustrating, especially when his whole body and soul was screaming to be just held in his arms.
"Harry wait" Severus said very quietly." Please sit down"
"I thought you wanted me to leave Professor or have you lost so much of your mind, that in you great old age you are going senile and forgotten that you asked me to!"
"Glad to see you are still the impudent little brat I have known all these years. I thought you were under the imperius for a moment with all these rationale arguments and intelligent reasoning, well apart from the being horny all the time, that's just normal teenager behaviour." Severus smirked.
Harry scowled at this and turned to leave again.
"It was a joke Harry. Now please sit down" Severus instructed, gesturing to the armchair beside his that Harry had fallen asleep in last night.
"Severus Snape cracking jokes, now I know you are going senile" Harry said sarcastically as he sat.
They sat quietly for a while before Severus started talking quietly.
"You have become a very smart young man Harry and have made deductions and formed reasoned arguments today that I did not think possible from you. My arguments, have not been so well thought out or reasoned, I admit. In any other circumstances, I would agree with you on everything you said and maybe even consider entering into the type of relationship it is you ask for. In fact I do agree with everything you said, apart from gorgeous and god damn sexy bit I find that difficult to believe in anyone's eyes, never mind a smart, handsome young man like yourself. However our circumstances are not so straight forward. It is nothing to do with me not being interested in you in that way, or indeed me not wanting you, because the fact of the matter is Harry I do. Maybe even more so than you want me. My whole body is craving to be with you, I am finding it really difficult to stay in control of this situation and not just go ahead and give you what you ask without a second thought. I only asked you to drop the matter because the more you touch me and ask me to be with you the more difficult I am finding it. I must stay in control, it is imperative since I am the adult in this. In fact I am your Professor; even you being here now with me dressed like this could get me sacked, which should tell you something about the rights and wrongs of this matter. However it is not important how we both feel, we must not be under any illusions that these feelings are being driven by what our soul bond wants. If we manage to come back to our fully rationale mind, I cannot see you wanting to be in the same room as me, let alone touch me. As for me, I have never been into young boys. I have done many horrible, evil things in my life but that is not one of them. The fact that you are a young boy, and I am having these feelings towards you is driving my rationale mind over the edge. I may not be a nice man but I am not a sick pervert. In addition, as I have already mentioned there is something about my past that you don't know and one day I believe you will find out and when you do you will not want to have anything to do with me. To have had any sort of relationship with me will make you sick". Severus slumped back into his chair and closed his eyes. "Now, it is well past curfew so please go to bed, the last 24 hrs has been very tiring for both of us and we have a meeting with Albus in the morning, so go get some rest."
"Please let me answer you first, then I promise I will go"
Severus took a deep breath and nodded although he had kept his eyes closed.
"Severus I am not a boy anymore, there are boys younger than me in relationships and I think I am older in soul, mind and heart than any of them. It wouldn't be a sick perverted thing. I want you. You are not the one begging or preying on me. I am asking you. As for our rationale minds, our minds and souls are now joined so this isn't going away, it's only a matter of time before not giving into this will drive us crazy, no matter how insane it might all have seemed even a few days ago. As for your past, if there is something that you believe would make me hate you, then maybe it is for the best that you tell me now before we try to sort out our bond and friendship, if that is all it is going to be. At least I will know the worst before we start. If it's really so bad, and I find out later, then I will be sick regardless of whether you are my friend or my b... ermm partner." Harry winced slightly at his stammering, although he was glad he had managed to stop before said 'boyfriend'!
Harry was washed out, he was emotionally and physically drained. He had given this his best shot and if Severus couldn't see that he was wallowing in the past and not trying to make the best of the present then he was going to give up.
"You want me tell you something that I have never told anyone, something that only Albus is aware off, something that will make you so angry you might just kill me?" Severus asked.
"Yes, it would be for the best under our circumstances"
"I am too tired to argue with you and you have a valid point, it will at least put an end to this wanting me as you partner business, but please don't say I didn't warn you. If you would please put your wand, with mine, in the drawer over there and lock it with the ordinary key and then give the key to me" he said picking up his wand which had been sitting next to him on the arm of the chair.
"This isn't necessary Severus I promise I won't hex you"
"You never know Harry, please just do as I ask, I don't think I could stand even a stinging hex tonight" he said with a sad smirk.
"I don't think I have the power to cast one Severus, but ok I will do it" he said taking Severus' wand.
Once Harry had done what he asked, Severus got up and moved over to a small leather sofa that sat right angles to the fire and indicated for Harry to sit beside him. Once Harry sat, he turned to face Severus, matching the other mans sitting position so they were face to face, but not too close. Severus reached out and grasped Harry's hands in his and looking into his eyes took a deep breath.
"Harry before I tell you this, I first want to tell you how sorry I am for what I did. I have lived my life since then trying to atone for my sins. It is something that I have never forgiven myself for and do not expect you to be able to."
Harry nodded for him to continue, his heart was beating so fast he could hardly breathe. He didn't know whether it was from being so close to the man, who although had thrown on a tight black t-shirt was only half dressed compared to his usual attire, or from the fear of what he was going to hear. Severus gave his hands a squeeze but didn't let go.
"When I was your about your age Harry I took the Dark Mark, there are many reasons why I did it and not one of them is worthy of telling. It was a decision I have lived to regret from the moment the evil was burned into my skin. I quickly realised that to stay alive and fairly unharmed as a Death Eater, you have to do certain... tasks at the Dark Lords bidding. Like I say I have done many evil things in my life. I got it a bit easier than some of the others, only because my main task, was to create new dangerous potions and poisons. Indeed the Dark Lord funded my further study that enabled me to become a qualified Potions Master. However in late 1979 early 1980 the Dark Lord came into some information. Albus was looking to recruit a Defence against the Dark Arts professor and The Dark Lord told me to apply for the job. His plan was for me to gain the trust of the Headmaster and maybe get into the Order. This would have meant I could have, not only relayed information back to him about Order business, but to teach The Dark Arts more than the defence against them."
Severus paused and held Harry's hands even tighter.
"The interviews were held away from the school at The Hogs Head, Albus was very suspicious at the time of letting anyone he did not know anywhere near the school or his students. After I had been interviewed and turned down for the job, I hung about trying to find out who the next candidate was, so I at least had some information to tell The Dark Lord. However what I overheard was the interview with Professor Trelawney, in which she told a prophecy. I only heard half the prophecy because Abersforth caught me eavesdropping and threw me out."
Severus had now closed his eyes as if he couldn't bear to look at Harry any longer but still had hold of his hands in a vice like grip.
Harry knew what was coming he thought and also closed his eyes, as his heart and mind raced.
"When I told the Dark Lord I hadn't got the job he was furious and doled out his usual torture, however in an attempt to stop the pain...I told him about the bit of the prophecy I had heard. I did not know it was a prophecy about you at the time, I didn't even know your Mother was pregnant but obviously the Dark Lord acted upon it the way he did and here we are today."
Harry still hadn't moved and Severus opened his eyes to see tears streaming down the boys face but his eyes were closed tight.
Severus was also shedding tears, he had shed many a tear over the years about this matter and they were dripping off his chin and landing on his and Harry's hands where he still gripped them in his lap.
"I left the Death Eaters as soon as I realised what the prophecy meant and what The Dark Lord was going to do with the information. I came to Dumbledore and asked for him to protect your family, but that wasn't enough, the damage had been done."
Severus closed his eyes again and prayed to Merlin he had made the right decision in telling the boy this. If the bond reacted badly he was fully aware it could be disastrous as Albus had pointed out. They sat like that for what felt like an age and he wished Harry would say something, anything or punch him or even just pull his hands away. It was torture. He had never opened up to anyone about anything before but especially not this. He felt vulnerable and exposed before this boy, whose life had been totally messed up by his actions.
"Severus, look at me"
His eyes flew open at the gentle, quiet way Harry had said his name and their eyes met. He could not fathom the depth of emotions he could see in these beautiful emerald green eyes. His Mothers eyes, he thought. They were still filled with tears and obvious pain, but there was also a yearning and something else he had seen earlier that day that had reminded him of his Mother and did so again now. He recognised what it was this time as a calm forgiving acceptance of him. It took his breath away. He didn't expect or deserve this reaction.
"The past is the past Severus; we must now work on our future, together."
Severus let out a harsh breath and closed his eyes again, he felt frozen in waves of emotion. As the tears flowed harder, Harry gently removed his hands from Severus' grip. He leant forward and started slowly kissing the tears away from the man's face. Severus sat hardly breathing as the sensations of forgiveness and acceptance washed over him. He couldn't believe this young boy could be so mature and understanding about something that had affected his whole life. He truly did not deserve this young man in his life and he certainly should not be allowing him to kiss him this way but he was struggling to stop what was happening, his will power was at its end.
"Are you sure Harry?"
Harry answered in parseltongue as he believed Severus also has the skill since they shared the same magic according to the snake guarding Severus' rooms "Yesssss my Sssssnake I know what it issss I assssssk".
Severus looked slightly surprised at hearing Harry talk in parseltongue but obviously understood what he had said.
"I am not sure that you do" he whispered almost inaudibly, as he gently leant down and their lips met in a tender, but passionate kiss. Harry ran his hands up Severus' well toned chest pausing slightly over the hard nipples he could feel through the tight black t-shirt and gently gave each a caress before running his hands back down and grabbing at the t-shirts hem and pulling it up. They separated briefly as the t-shit was pulled over Severus' head but their lips met quickly again, more urgently than before. Severus caught Harry's lower lip with his teeth then sucked at it hard. Harry moaned at the sensations running through his body. He broke away from the searing kiss and trailed his tongue down Severus's neck where he stopped briefly to suck and bite the delicious pale skin whilst running his hand over his hard chest. Severus moaned and Harry thought he had never heard anything so erotic in his life. Harry looked up to see Severus watching him, the tears had stopped now and there was just a sad but deep longing in the older man's eyes.
"Harry, this is going too fast" Severus said with strained difficulty.
"Shhh its fine, its perfect, it wonderful" Harry said as he shifted his position to come closer to Severus.
"Yes Harry this is, but I think you should go back to your dorm." He said quietly as though he was struggling to say the words. He then stood but pulled Harry with him into a hard embrace. Harry could feel Severus' hard cock press into his stomach and groaned. He gently rubbed his own aching hardness against the muscled thigh of his dream.
"Harry please we must slow down" as he slowly moved Harry back a little so their embrace was less intimate.
"Severus, can I stay here with you tonight just for a little while? We could just sleep, I promise I won't do anything, I just want to be in your arms."
"No Harry that is not possible – not tonight" Severus gently said.
"I will leave before anyone wakes up, no one will know" Harry pleaded.
"That is not the reason why it is not possible; you really are so young and innocent Harry." Severus leant down and gave him a gentle kiss but then pulled away taking a deep breath.
"Go back to your dorm; I will see you in the morning".
"Harry reached over and ran his hand down the man's bare chest and sighed "Ok but no backing out on me now Severus Snape" and with that he turned and left.
A/N Thank you to AlmondWithUnicornHair, Sheankelor and Crapounette for your encouragement. Hope you enjoyed this too x