Robb Stark POV
There was a cold wind that settled over the field, bringing a soft chill to the tent that Robb Stark stood in. It was silent inside, the only noise was the pop of the candle he had to light his quarters. He felt alone and he felt cold. The tent was empty except for himself and Grey Wind, who slept peacefully near the makeshift bed Robb had for himself. He was bent over the table before him, trying to think about their next move, but his eyes only drifted toward the drawing of the wall. His heart ached at the sight of it and he had to close his eyes to try to fight the memories, but it only made it that much easier for them to come flooding into his mind.
It had been Robb's bright idea to steal a bottle of wine and go off to drink it with his brother. Jon had protested, but Robb kept insisting telling him that it would be fun for the both of them. He knew that if they were caught that it wouldn't be Robb to blame but Jon and he knew that he'd stand up and make sure he was the one at fault. Even though Robb was a bit too drunk to even think about what would happen if his mother did happen to find the two. He kind of found himself not caring whether she did or not. Instead he found himself taking another long swig, feeling the wine trickle down his chin. He wasn't wiping it off either, he didn't have anyone to please and he was sure Jon didn't care how he looked. If it had been Jon with the wine on his chin though, he probably would have reached over and wiped it off, making a joke about it - and when Jon opened his mouth and did what he had just been thinking, he couldn't help but laugh once more.
"You drink like a savage not a Stark, there's wine everywhere." Jon had spoken and his hand reached over, wiping the wine from his face. Robb found his breath getting caught in his throat, trying to find a way to breath as Jon's hand moved down and was not resting on his chest, his bare chest. Robb wasn't sure what to think, he knew he loved Jon, but did he love him like that? They were brothers, they shared blood, but did that really matter? Jon seemed to want more and when Jon's lips came crashing onto his own, he found the breath he was looking for and brought himself closer to his brother, getting lost in what was happening. The moan that escaped his own lips was one he hadn't expected but he could feel himself becoming turned on. It wasn't like the way he had felt when he first made love to a woman, it felt different, it felt more right to him. His hands tangled into Jon's hair and he pulled him closer, his tongue searching the inside of his mouth, memorizing everything.
Jon's hand found the buttons on his shirt and Robb sucked in a breath, anticipating what was to come. Would they bed one another? He wasn't sure, but all he knew was that he could feel himself growing hard and that his cheeks were flushed as he bit down on Jon's lip, drawing blood. He hadn't meant to be so rough with him, but Robb found himself wanting more and if Jon didn't want him to do it, he'd have stopped him. Rob pushed his brother back, his hand finding the waist band of his brother's pants.
When he awoke though, both were still fully clothed, well Robb's shirt was fully unbuttoned but both were decent. The sun was just beginning to rise but you could barely see it through the fog that was settled over the kingdom. He quickly fumbled with his buttons, pulling his furs over his shoulders, kissing Jon's forehead before dragging himself home.
-|| How could he do this? How could he join the Night's Watch without even coming to him first? What about Robb's opinion? Didn't it mean anything to Jon? He wondered if his brother forgot about that night, the night they kissed. He wanted to yell at Jon, tell him not to do it. But Jon was stubborn when he wanted to be, it was a Stark trait or at least Robb though it was. He had refused to talk to Jon every time he encountered him that day, too frustrated to speak with him. He finally did talk to him, that night at the feast when he snuck food out for Jon. He hated that he was never allowed to join them, it angered him at times.
They had talked and Robb had sounded desperate when trying to convince Jon to stay, but it seemed nothing he spoke would do the trick, nothing would change Jon's mind.
-||The day it came for Jon to travel away, Robb found himself in his room, his hands covering his face as he let silent tears leave his eyes. He had never cried before, but today he finally crossed the threshold. His eyes were red-rimmed and he sniffed, wiping at his nose and face. He couldn't leave any traces that he had finally broke down. He didn't want his brother to go, but he'd never actually tell Jon that. As far as Jon knew, Robb was only frustrated with the fact he was going. Not that Robb was actually heartbroken over the fact. He loved Jon and not just in the brotherly way. He knew it would never work out, because Robb was suppose to marry a woman and have children and pass on the Stark name. He would take his Father's place as soon as that time came and then his children would do the same or Bram would when it came time if Robb happened to have all girls. He didn't want any of it though, he knew what he wanted and what he wanted was about to walk away.
Outside, Robb went to find Jon, only to see him carrying his saddle. He had to force idle chit-chat but when it ended, he hugged Jon, forcing himself not to beg him to stay. He seemed to want this and how could Robb deny him what he wanted? He had to pull his eyes away from Jon and made himself turn and walk away. When he was in the privacy of his room later that night, he found himself holding a glove he had stolen from Jon. He was squeezing it tightly, once again letting the tears fall.
Everything was wrong. Robb stood up straight, rubbing his eyes. He was tired, but now was not the time to sleep. He had things to do and people to kill. He had sent the word to King's Landing and it would only be a matter of time before he received word back - a decline of course.
He stared down at the map, shaking his head. He pulled off his furs and tossed them to the side, pulling his armor and clothing away from his torso before slamming his fists down on the table. He received a growl from Grey Wind, which only made Robb look down at the wolf. "It's only me, go back to sleep." he wished it wasn't only him, he wished Jon was there with him, helping him through everything. He believed he could do this alone, but he couldn't. He needed help, he couldn't win this war by himself, he couldn't win it with all the men in the world. He wanted Jon here with him, he almost wanted to track him down himself and drag him back with him. He reached over and pulled one of the furs back over his shoulders, shivering once before closing his eyes.
"Robb." The voice made him pause and easily he turned around, not sure if his azure eye were deceiving him or not. Was it the lack of rest that had him hallucinating that Jon was standing in his tent. No...it couldn't be. "Jon?" Robb took a step forward, not sure to reach out or not. "Are you really here?" He took another step, his tongue wetting his lips. He couldn't decide whether to smile or get down on his knees and praise those above who had answered his wish. He let the grin slowly slide onto his lip and he crossed the room, taking Jon in his arms, hugging him tightly. "What are you doing here? You are supposed to be at the wall."
Jon Snow POV
Jon had seen his brother's lips move, but it was like this pounding consumed his head and muffled the sound. But one look at Robb said it all – there was confusion and surprise on his face, but there was also this immeasurable joy that pierced Jon deep within his soul. And he felt like those eyes were changing him – as if by not seeing him for so long he'd forgotten who he himself was – he felt as if those eyes were filling him up, awakening parts of him he never knew existed, making him into exactly who he was supposed to be, but with time forgot. And he let out a silent gasp of regret – regret for ever leaving his side. Even if his brother didn't love him that way, even if staying by his side would mean having to watch him marry and have kids, feel misery in silence – even through all that, how could he have ever thought that his place was anywhere without Robb? It was as if unknowingly, he'd left a part of himself with Robb when he left, and he only now got it back – now that he looked at his approaching figure, and the smile gleaming on his face. This was home to him – not Winterfell, or the Wall. He was home.
His brother wrapped his arms around him, and hugged him tightly to his body. Jon felt oddly calm, and yet incredibly excited as well – it was almost like he made his heart beat faster yet slower at the same time. He buried his face into the fur around Robb's shoulders, wishing he could just press his lips against the side of his neck which was now exposed. He let out s silent sigh that was muffled by the fabric, and let his emotions run rampant through his body – his temperature changing from hot to cold for the few moment the two embraced – all the feeling of his desperate love that was burned so deep within his heart the poor sucker never had a chance of loving anyone else. He let all the desperation and the happiness consume him, if only for a few moments, and then he took a sharp breath, and pushed it all back, as far back as it would go. Because from now on Robb would need his brother and he couldn't afford those feelings anymore – not when he was around the person that caused them. He pushed his brother back, but his hands clutched his shoulders still. "I was at the wall, but when I heard the words about you going to war on your own and our father dying…" he said, and let the rest drift off, because he wasn't sure how to explain exactly what it was he felt at that moment. "After that it wasn't much of a choice. I guess I'm one of the deserters now that father killed." He added, with a dark chuckle; there was only one thing he wished, and would pray for above all else – that when it came time to kill him for the act he committed, Robb wouldn't have to be one to make that judgment and cut his head off. Even though Jon would prefer to die by Robb's hand over anyone else's, he knew that toll such a thing would take on his brother – something he didn't exactly consider when he rashly decided to join his brother's side; he wasn't used to referring to his brother with such high authority, authority that their father had had before him.
"It doesn't matter, what's done can't be undone. What's important is I'm here right now." When the words slipped from his tongue, a corner of his lips pulled up. He studied his brother properly for the first time he arrived – and in the 7 months the two hadn't seen each other, he had changed, well, he imagined they both had. Jon had probably grown harsher, his face was covered with a 5 day beard because he hadn't had time to shave, his hair had grown more, and his lips had splintered slightly because of the cold. On the other hand Robb looked regal; he had this certain grace about him that always made everyone shift their gazes from whatever they were doing just to observe the Stark boy. He had a fire in him, a defiance, a strength that you felt exceeded simple muscle mass - that made him seem ignited, and as if he could crush everyone that stood in his path. And if Jon would be ice, Robb would be the fire that would melt him to the ground – now more so than he had ever been. Robb had changed, become more of a Lord, become someone who grew even further from Jon's grasp as he stood frozen in place – but Jon didn't mind, because seeing him, become so great, brought more joy to Jon than anything else had. He raised his hands from his brothers shoulders, and pressed his palms on each side of Robb's neck. "I'm here for you, whatever you need from me. Lord Star." He said, with a tone in his voice that sounded almost sacred, a small smile pulled on the corner of his lips, as he looked at the new King of the North.