Warnings: Explicitmale/male sexual content. Strong Language.
Please excuse any errors in this. I havent been able to concentrate tonight - so if you would rather wait unitl I proof read it again then come back in 24 hrs! x
Chapter – 17 Pain or Pleasure
"The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you." - Tony Robbins
Harry woke and stretched slowly with a yawn, cracking open his eyes he realised he was still on the sofa in the sitting room of 4 Privet Drive as the memories of the previous night flooded back.
"Sev?" He called out when he couldn't feel the heat of another body beside him. He quickly felt around on the floor, finding his glasses and slipped them on his face, focussing instantly on the face of his lover, who was sitting watching him from the armchair opposite, still completely naked.
"Hey" Harry said as a broad smile spread over his face.
Severus smirked, "Good Morning"
"What time is it?" Harry muttered through another yawn.
"About three in the morning, I think"
Harry groaned "Merlin Sev, that's not morning! Why the hell, are you not still beneath me and sleeping?"
"Couldn't sleep" Sev answered slowly, but seemed lost in thought. Harry thought he sounded exhausted.
"Well come on lets go upstairs and get more comfortable, you might be able to sleep better in a bed. Sorry, I must have crashed out" Harry jumped up and grabbed Severus's hand, pulling him to his feet.
"It's only a single bed though, you will have to put up with this pressed against you" Harry informed, wiggling his arse as he walked.
Severus growled as he followed Harry up the stairs into a small, almost empty, room. There was a single bed against one wall and a small wardrobe on the other. Hedwig sat in her cage on an old battered looking desk near the window; she gave a hoot at the appearance of the two wizards.
Turning to Severus, after sending Hedwig out hunting for the night, Harry watched as the naked form of his Professor looked around his bedroom. Shaking his head, as arousal griped him, he stifled a snort of laughter at the bizarreness of their situation encroached on his mind.
"Something funny?" Severus drawled advancing toward him with a challenging glint in his eye.
"No" Harry still trying to suppress his laughter, but the word was spluttered out betraying his amusement.
"Please do tell what it is that goes on in that head of yours" Severus was scowling and his tone was sarcastic and intimidating. Harry had only ever heard him speak like this when in his classroom, it was the voice that had instilled dread in him for 6 years but now it only served to increase Harry's amusement and stir his arousal.
"Fuck why did I never realise how bloody sexy you are when you talk to me like that?"
"Well, well Potter I think your brains must have completely turned to mush or they have been hiding in your cock all this time" Severus continued as he pushed Harry onto the bed.
Harry shuffled back, spreading his legs wide, inviting Severus between them as his eyes clouded over with lust, a strong desire for the man in front of him to be inside him, invaded his senses.
"I want you to fuck me Sev."
Severus growled, and launched his whole weight at Harry pressing him hard into the mattress, attacking the soft sensitive area of his neck over the jugular, biting down hard enough to leave marks and cause a little pain. Harry shivered as sensations shot from his neck, pain and pleasure burning, as it went straight to his groin causing him to push his hardness into Sev's stomach with a loud grunt. He was a little taken aback by the rough, almost aggressive way Severus attacked his body with his hands and mouth, but tried to push his rising unease aside.
The bruising pressure against young skin eased as Severus hissed out in a sneering sarcastic tone
"Who would have thought it, the Gryffindor Golden Boy, the insufferable brat, likes it rough."
Harry gasped, his unease turning to something akin to fear as it bubbled to the surface. He was concerned about Sev's change of demeanour but strangely aroused by it at the same time. His cock twitched involuntarily against the toned stomach pressing into him from above.
Severus muttered a wandless spell, invisible bindings instantly wrapped around his wrists, pulled his arms upwards and held them immobile above his head. They weren't tight but tight enough to worry him.
"Sev?" Harry asked a noticeable quiver in his voice.
"Shhh relax" the older man said a little sharply.
Severus's pushed himself off Harry's trembling body and stood to the side of the bed looking at the bound figure before him. Harry whimpered slightly at the removal of the weight covering him, his anxiety increasing tenfold at the way Sev was looking at him, he felt vulnerable and exposed.
"I would have never have thought I would find any benefits to that mindless game you so love, but it appears to have toned and shaped your body very nicely" Severus continued in his sarcastic tones.
"Please stop Sev" Harry spluttered out, his anxiety winning over his arousal and diminishing his lust slightly.
The second the words were uttered from Harry's mouth the invisible bonds at his wrist disappeared and Sev looked at him with an indiscernible questioning look.
"I emm... feel a little... scared" Harry said uncomfortably.
"I will never hurt you Harry" Severus continued quietly looking at him now almost blankly. Harry couldn't work out what the man was thinking and knew Sev was blocking his emotions through the bond.
Harry nodded "I know"
"Do you? Are you sure?
Harry nodded
"Would you like me to continue?"
Harry took a deep breath and nodded again, he wanted to be with this man, his body and soul screaming for his touch but the moment he gave his nonverbal permission the ties that had bound his hands returned, this time tighter and nipped at his skin, his fear and doubt returned.
Severus leant down and resumed biting and sucking hard at his neck. Every painful bite was followed by light caressing licks to salve the pain. Severus slowly continued this treatment, covering every inch of his upper body, finally latching onto one of his nipples and sucking it hard into his mouth and nibbling at its base. An unfamiliar mixture of pain and pleasure ripped through Harry's body his arousal returning in full force. The harsh treatment of his skin had Harry's mind reeling, his breathing coming in harsh stuttering pants, cock straining, begging to be touched.
"Touch me Sev!"
Severus had ignored Harry's pleas but waved his wand hand in a flourish over him with a growl. Harry closed his eyes tight and flinched slightly in anticipation and anxiety of what would happen now. An oily substance coated his chest making him gasp. His eyes flew open again as the painfully hot oil ran down his sides and enveloped his body. Severus gave him a deep penetrating look but Harry still couldn't feel Sev's emotions or read them in his eyes, his anxiousness spiked. He needed to know he was loved, to feel safe. Without breaking eye contact, Severus ran his hands down Harry's tense body from his shoulders over the lean muscles in his chest to his waist. The touch caused his skin to burn and every tendon and muscle quiver as it was massaged hard by large strong hands. Fingers dug in painfully, nails scratched over delicate over-heated skin, leaving red scars in their wake. The oil cooled slightly as it was rubbed into every bite mark, every bruise, every fingernail induced scratch making them sting, before the pain faded. Harry's mind was screaming to tell Sev to stop but his body screamed for more, his arousal throbbing deep in his groin. Whimpering he begged Severus with his eyes to touch him but his silent pleading also went ignored
"Touch me Sev. Please" Harry sobbed out again unable to take more of the rough silent treatment.
"Patience" Severus said calmly but inside Severus was anything but calm. His heart was racing and worry coursed through his veins. He knew he was taking a risk in his current treatment of Harry; it could easily cause Harry to become too anxious to allow him to continue. If he asked him to stop he would do so instantly but now that he had started stopping would result in the opposite of what he wanted to achieve.
Harry whimpered again and lifted his hips off the mattress. Severus moved position nudging Harry's legs apart until they were spread wide enough to allow him enough space to kneel between them but far enough away from the leaking straining cock. Leaning down he turned his attention to Harry's thighs running his tongue up the inside of one slowly, continuing round the crease where leg met groin until he reached a bony hip, he once again used his teeth, almost breaking the skin but not quite. Harry was a quivering, whimpering mass, thrusting his hips erratically. By the time Severus had worked his way back down the inner thigh until there was a neat line of marks from hip to knees on both legs. Running his hands firmly up the line of marks he gripped and pinned the thrusting hips down, uttering another spell to hold them there magically. The cry that came from above him caused a spear of concern to shoot through Severus; he looked up expecting Harry to ask him to stop, to be met with a look of fear. Instead emerald green eyes met his with a pleading desire and lust that begged him to touch him, to make him come. Severus resolve almost disintegrated but he quickly snapped his eyes away and once again ignored the silent plea. After coating Harry's legs with the same hot oil and massaging away any tension, he released all bindings and flipped Harry over onto his front. Who immediately started grinding his cock into the bed, letting out small grunts as he did so.
"No" Severus commanded as he immediately replaced the bindings that held Harry still before attacking the smooth soft skin of his back.
Harry's mind was a complete mess. He had felt every emotion in the last half hour that he thought was possible, from panic and fear to disgust and guilt to a deep yearning desire and love. He knew Severus was blocking the exchange of feelings through the bond intentionally but his fear abated exponentially in relation to his physical arousal; he didn't think he had ever been this hard for such a prolonged period of time without being able to relieve himself. The pain and heat growing his groin was incredible, the need for touch almost unbearable but he closed his eyes and focused his mind trying only to concentrate on the sensations coming from being bitten, sucked, licked and massaged over every inch of his back.
Severus rubbed the same slick hot oil into Harry's now marked back and bum, gripping the muscles of his arse firmly.
Harry heard a muttered charm moments before a strange sensation ran up inside him from his puckered entrance. It wasn't unpleasant but not exactly enjoyable either and it made him tense up a little.
"Relax" was the only word muttered from Severus in a growling but commanding tone.
The sensation passed quickly allowing him to do as instructed but in truth his muscles weren't cooperating with him anymore, he couldn't have remained tense if he had tried. He felt Severus resume massaging his buttocks before moving them up gripping his hips hard, digging his fingers into the bones painfully before pulling him abruptly up onto all fours. Harry looked back and caught an off guard look of uncontrolled desire and love from Severus before he schooled his expression back into the same indecipherable questioning look as before. Harry turned his head away and dropped it forward, hair falling over his eyes and face, as he did so he felt Severus gently part his bum cheeks and run his tongue over the perineal area right up over the puckered flesh of his entrance before running his tongue in swirls around it. Harry broke the verbal silence, he had been unable to speak until now with his mind fighting his desire, mind begging to shout stop, the other begging for more.
"Oh My Fucking God!" he choked out in a scream as his body convulsed as the overload of sensation assaulted him.
Severus continued his slow tongue movements but moved away from his entrance up between his buttocks and over every bump in his spine until he was positioned right behind him with his rock hard cock pressing against his arse, his body moulded into Harry's to cover it from bum to neck. On reaching Harry's neck Severus nuzzled into the soft nape kissing him gently at the same time as reaching down with one hand and gripping his swollen length in a tight fist, the other hand ran up his spine, gripping his hair roughly, pulling his head back.
Harry couldn't breathe he thought he was going to come right there and then but found he couldn't, as Severus increased the pressure at the base of his cock trapping the blood in the swollen member. Through the sound of his hammering heart and his own harsh panting breaths Harry heard Severus whisper in his ear softly
"I love you Harry. Trust me"
The bindings were released, both men let out a screaming sob as Severus dropped his control; his mind shields disintegrated and did what Harry had asked. He fucked him hard to a joint rhythm of shared need, both men losing all sense of time or place.
oooooooooooo
Harry woke much later his body tingled and ached in a pleasant hum. His throat was dry and sore from screaming. He rolled over to find his bed empty apart from a piece of parchment propped up on the pillow beside his head. Grabbing his glasses from the bedside table he smiled as the precise flowing script, he was more used to seeing in red ink, came into focus.
A late lunch is waiting for you downstairs sleepy head. S x
Bugger he thought, he must have slept for ages, although he hadn't really, he had only been asleep for a few hours. After Severus had fucked him into the mattress, they had started again but to a much slower and gentler pace than before. Harry had taken his time in mapping out Severus body with his tongue and tasting every inch of him, both reaching a bone melting climax a second time together, with Harry inside Severus this time. He had been extremely nervous and reluctant to take Severus in this way but had slowly relaxed with Sev's gentle encouragement, as the older man opened himself up to him. He much preferred being taken, but it had been an awesome feeling to have Severus scream beneath him in pleasure he had caused.
Harry jumped from his bed and threw on an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Bounding down the stairs he entered the kitchen to witness Severus quietly humming a tune he didn't recognise as he stirred a bubbling pot on the electric cooker. Harry leant against the door frame watching him for a few minutes with amusement.
"Are you are laughing at me again Mr. Potter? Do you think that wise considering the consequences of your mirth last night?"
"Is that all it will take for you to do that to me again?" Harry said with no hint of emotion in his voice, hiding the warmth spreading in his gut as he remembered the mind shattering orgasm he had had a few hours ago.
Severus moved his eyes to give Harry a quick look, he hadn't been able to decipher the tone in Harry's voice and could only feel a tiredness radiating through the bond. Much to his relief he saw genuine amusement and a little arousal in the green eyes and relaxed a little, returning his concentration to stirring the pot.
Harry walked across the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Severus's waist, pressing his body into his back. Severus relaxed a little more. He knew he had taken a risk with his approach to Harry last night but he had had his reasons at the time. He had been worrying about it ever since getting up a few hours ago. Sleep had completely evaded him.
"I didn't know you could cook" Harry said with surprise clear in his voice.
Severus snorted "What do you think I do for a living if it isn't mix different ingredient together, in a pot, over a heat. I believe that is the normal process commonly known as cooking"
"Yeah well that's different, you know what I mean!"
"Harry, that's all there is to potions, it just a magical form of cooking. You need to understand what ingredients go together and which ones don't. Simple."
"Yeah right! If you say so" Harry rolled his eyes, thinking if it was just like cooking he would be a bloody genius potions master since he could cook really well and actually enjoyed it.
"Anyway I don't term this cooking, it's just a basic stew, with some meat and root vegetables" Severus said changing the topic away from potions. He didn't want to get into a discussion about the one thing there was still a lot of animosity about between them
"Smells good. I'm starving!"
"Typical bloody teenager either horny or hungry" Severus smirked "Go sit, I will bring some out to you"
"Ehm, are you sure? I mean I can do that if you want" Harry felt a little awkward at allowing Severus to serve him.
Severus turned and captured the scowling face behind him, gently kissing the frown lines on his forehead.
"Let me take care of you today".
Harry looked up into the deep black pools of emotion shining in Severus's eyes and thought he could see a flicker of worry and concern there.
"You really don't have to. I am fine about last night, well it was this morning really" Harry babbled a bit.
"Are you?" Severus asked gingerly, closing his eyes as he turned back to stirring the stew.
"Yeah I am, it was amazing Sev. I have to admit you did scare me for a bit at first, but bloody hell I thought I was going to explode. Where the hell did you learn to make someone feel like that?"
The question was out before Harry engaged his brain, he knew it was none of his business but was curious none the less.
Severus growled but didn't respond but his steady stirring slowed.
"I'm sorry Sev, I shouldn't have asked, I just didn't think, it doesn't matter ok" Harry wrapped his arms around his lover again and reached up on his tiptoes to push the hair away from Sev's ear with his mouth and whispered
"I love you"
"I know you do. Now scoot go sit before this stew gets spoiled. I would like to talk to you before your relatives return but need you to eat first" Severus said quietly in response.
Harry kissed Severus beneath his ear and turned to leave. As he approached the door he stopped and looked over at his lover who was still stirring.
"You look goddamn sexy in that flowery apron by the way; you should wear that in the next potions class you take – much better than that dragon hide thing you wear!" Severus turned and threw him a real withering glare before Harry darted off to the dining room laughing.
"Bloody insolent brat" he shouted after him.
They ate in silence at the dining room table. Harry went over the events of the previous night in his mind; Severus's appearance and initial protective anger directed at Stephen followed by his willing submission to his mouth on the sofa. He thought over how he had been bound and fucked hard, he still felt a little disconcerted by enjoying the pain but tried to push the feelings that he was abnormal to the back of his mind. His mind turned to fucking Severus in return, albeit in a gentler manner, he felt his arousal return again at the memory of the way the older man had writhed and screamed beneath him. He wondered how many personas Severus had, doubting he had seen them all yet.
"Harry, about last night" Severus began breaking his train of thought.
"Sev its fine really please let's not over think it, ok?"
"I'm not over thinking it, but I need you to understand something. I have not always been a very nice man and I understand your lack of trust in me, but it is who I am. I need you to believe that however I appear or act there will always be a reason for it; it may not be clear to you what the reason is at the time, but everything I do will always be for our joint benefit, in the end. A little pain can bring some...desired results, so to speak. Do you understand?"
Harry nodded but frowned.
"Why can't you just tell me what it is you are worried about Sev? What is it that you are keeping from me? It's something to do with Malfoy isn't it?"
Severus growled in exasperation
"Harry you have to trust me. I can't tell you but believe me when I say I love only you. I cannot deny that I care for Draco, because I do, he is my Godson and my..." Severus looked down at his empty plate before quietly continuing "...my ex-lovers son. I raised Draco from a baby with Lucius until just before he started at Hogwarts." Severus looked up from his plate to see Harry staring at him in shock.
"You and Lucius?"
Severus nodded "But I never loved him Harry and he never loved me, not really. What we had was...uh look it's too difficult to explain it ended 6 year ago anyway. I shouldn't have told you but I need you to understand why I feel the way I do about the boy. No-one knows about this apart from Albus, so please, keep it to yourself"
"But why the need for the Unbreakable Vow Severus, why can't you tell me what the little shit is up to!"
Severus shook his head slightly trying to clear the memories of his relationship with the Malfoy's from his mind.
"I have given my word to not tell a soul about a number of things. I am not a person to break my word easily but I will tell you when the time is right. In the meantime you need to trust me."
Harry slumped in his seat
"I can't trust you Sev, not completely, not on this, not if you can't explain your reasons to me, not when it involves that weasel" Harry said angrily with a hint of sadness betrayed in his voice. His mind was reeling about thoughts of his soul mate being with Lucius bloody Malfoy and caring for the younger blonde Slytherin as he grew up. Jealousy bubbled in his gut irrationally.
"You and Draco are more alike than you realise please do not call him derogatory names, Harry. I hope one day you will see the boy for who he truly is."
"Oh I can see him for what he truly is Severus. He is a spoilt, egotistical, self centred coward who took the Dark Mark over the summer because he thought that by being by the side of an evil sick bastard it would give him the power over people he can't command alone!"
Severus shot to his feet "You have no idea what you are talking about. If you can't trust me, I must leave and you can go to the Burrow now." Severus face turned red in anger.
Harry stood anger spilling over into his eyes and his hands shook.
"I cannot trust you, not if you can't trust me enough to tell me what the hell is going on, I have a right to know, so yeah you better just leave and stay the fuck out of my life"
Severus stalked from the room as tears sprung to Harry's eyes. He didn't think his heart could hurt more if someone plunged a dagger into it.
Severus appeared some moments later carrying Hedwig and pulling his trunk. He shrunk the trunk, shoving it into Harry's pocket as he thrust Hedwig's cage into his arms. Gripping hold of Harry's free arm they disapparated.
Harry was thrown to the ground as he reappeared moments later, alone outside the Burrow, the words of Severus that had been whispered in his ear as they were squeezed through the dark tunnel echoing in his head "I love you Harry".
Harry sobbed and sat down on his arse in the marshy ground. He regretted speaking to Severus the way he had, as he realised what the rough sex the previous night had been about. Severus had wanted Harry to understand that he could trust him, to not hurt him, regardless of what it looked like initially, that with time the benefits of his actions would become clear.
It was growing dark before Harry trudged to the front door of the Burrow, he was cold and drained of all emotion. Letting himself in to the warm house, he pulled out his trunk, resized it and opened it. His potions text had been hidden under his clothes but much to Harry's surprise it was now sitting on the top of all his possession. Grabbing it he quickly ran his hands over the cover whispering "I love you too". He could feel the magic it held and gently lifted it to his face, breathing in the scent of potions. He felt a distinct tingling emit from the book, something was different about it he realised, as he began flipping through the pages. He wondered if Severus had found the book and done something to it. When he got to the back cover he found a blank piece of parchment glued into the binding that he hadn't noticed before. Running his hands over it he could feel Severus's magic emanating from it. Drawing his wand he tapped the page and whispered "Reveal your secrets". Neat typed script appeared slowly.
Return when you are at your lowest. Incant the name of the original owner but a warning these pages hold some dark secrets, do not use them lightly.
Harry read the line again, heart pounding he placed his wand over the page and whispered "Severus Snape"
Nothing happened.
Harry let out a frustrated breath and slammed the book closed as he heard Ginny shouting.
"Mum Harry's here! Harry? Where are you?"
"Through here Ginny" Harry said as brightly as he could
Ginny bounded through and flung her arm around him, pressing her lips to his.
Harry's insides froze at the contact.
"God Harry where have you been? You are freezing and you stink!"
"Oh em yeah sorry I errr had a bit of a rough night and well didn't have a chance to shower this morning. Long story" Harry could feel embarrassment and panic rising and hoped Ginny's nose wasn't as tuned into smells as Hermione's was. Harry looked over Ginny's shoulder to meet the questioning eyes of his best friend.
"Hermione! I thought you weren't coming here this holiday?"
He broke from Ginny's grasp and flung his arms around Hermione in a crushing embrace. He had never felt so relieved to see anyone than at that moment.
Ginny huffed at the animated display of affection he bestowed on his friend, but he didn't care, he would deal with Ginny later.
"I am only staying tonight Harry. My parents were abroad and their flight home has been delayed. They left a message at Kings Cross to let me know they would get home tomorrow. I thought it would be safer if I came here for a couple of nights."
"Oh" Harry said disappointedly "Can't you just stay now you are here"
Hermione didn't get the chance to answer as Ron entered the room
"Hey Harry! Bloody hell mate you look... totally shagged!"
Harry spluttered "Eh well I didn't really get much sleep last night. Long story"
Hermione frowned worriedly at him and whispered quietly so no one else could here
"Stephen?"
Harry shook his head, "Tell you later" he muttered back.
"Well you better go have a bath mate before Mum comes in from the feeding the chickens. Mum will have a fit if she sees you looking like that." Ron looked his friend up and down. Ginny's eyes narrowed as she also looked Harry over, her eyes focussing on his neck. Harry's hand fluttered up and felt the slightly tender teeth marks covering the exposed area.
"Yeah ok, you're right, I will go get cleaned up" he said awkwardly before shuffling his way to the bathroom leaving his friends staring after him.
Harry relaxed into a deep bath of warm bubbly water, inhaling the steam rising from his sore body, taking in the smell rising from him with it. Sandalwood with a hint aconite mixed with the heady scent of his and Severus's sweat and cum.
Harry groaned as his cock responded to the smell and the memories they brought. Palming himself under the water he closed his eyes and replayed the delicious scenes of being controlled and marked by his soul mate. Wrapping his hand around his length he squeezed the end pulling back the foreskin releasing the head and shivered as the warm water covered it. Pumping slowly he leant back placing his head on the back of the bath allowed the erotic memories of Severus biting and sucking him invade his mind. He ran his other hand over his still tender skin on his chest and dug his fingers into the bite marks. A moan escaped his lips as the pain seared through him. I really am a sick fuck he thought as his arousal increased, spurring his thrusting hand into a faster tempo. Moving his other hand down lower he pushed two fingers into his entrance and reached to find his most sensitive spot. He found it and rubbed it hard. "Fuck" he shouted as he came abruptly, his back arching, pushing his cock out the water as cum spat out in a forceful burst. His body went into spasm, making his feet lose his grip on the bath, slipping under the water as the waves of release continued. His lungs burnt with the sudden unexpected halt in breathing, blackness encroached, unconsciousness threatened.
Suddenly he was dragged forcefully out of the water by his hair as the final wave of orgasm faded. Hermione stood holding him up looking at him with a mixture of shock and embarrassment.
"Honestly Harry! Do you want the whole house to hear you?"
"Oh shit... They didn't...did they?" Harry's panted, face turned scarlet as Hermione let him go. His hand flew to cover up his softening cock and wipe away the ribbons of cum coating his chest.
"Fortunately no, they have all gone outside to help feed the animals and really Harry I think it's a bit late to try and be modest with me now"
Harry groaned "Sorry 'mione"
"You could have bloody killed yourself you twit" Hermione said starting to laugh a little as she sat down on the edge of the bath.
"The boy who defied all odds, the boy who survived the killing curse, the chosen one; dying from having a wank in the bath? Rita Skeeter would have a bloody field day!" Harry relaxed a little by his friend's apparent lack of concern by his nakedness and evidence of what he had been doing.
"It's not funny Harry, what the hell were you thinking, you are obviously exhausted" she turned to look at Harry bare chest up and down.
"Ermm you really want me to tell you what I was thinking?" Harry said with a wicked smirk
"Urgghh that's not what I meant!" she replying closing her eyes.
After a few moments silence Hermione turned back to Harry and gently ran her finger over one of the more deep bite marks on his chest with a concerned look in her eyes. Harry hissed at the sting the touch caused.
"Who did this to you Harry?"
"Oh ermm it's not how it looks alright. I...emm...let this happen... it was...Sev"
"What! You let him hurt you? When? You weren't like this the other night!"
"He didn't hurt me 'mione. Look I don't really want to talk about our sex life but believe me I am ok with these. I know it sounds a bit fucked up but please just drop it."
Hermione nodded and removed her hand from his chest but continued to look at Harry questioningly.
"He arrived at Privet Drive last night, he felt my emotions when I got there and came to see what was going on. Let's just say he saved my arse again"
"Oh Harry. I knew I shouldn't have let you go with that guy!"
"You couldn't have stopped me 'mione. Anyway it over now for good so forget it"
"So why are you here? Why are you not still with Severus?"
"We had an argument and he apparated me here in a temper and left"
"For Merlin's sake you two need to start behaving like adults and stop the bickering and needless separation!"
"We tried, obviously" Harry said indicating his marks in exasperation "but there is something he is hiding from me about Malfoy and I can't trust him because of it"
"You can trust him enough to tie you up and ...fuck you;" Hermione spat out looking at the red welts around Harry's wrists "why can't you let this obsession with Malfoy go!"
"I just can't! I wish I could but I can't" Harry rose from the bath and stepped out grabbing a towel as he went.
"I need to get some sleep 'mione."
"You can't go out there looking like that Harry let me go get something for you to wear."
Once Hermione left the bathroom, Harry sank down onto the toilet seat and put his head in his hands he was right royal fuck up and he knew it but he needed to know what was going on, he needed Severus to trust him as much as he needed to trust Severus.
Hermione returned a few minutes later and Harry dressed quickly, allowing his friend to place a concealment charm on the still visible marks on his neck before heading downstairs into the warm family atmosphere of the Weasleys' dining room.
The rest of the evening went by with no problems or awkward questions and Harry relaxed into the familiar routine of his wizarding family. Mr Weasley sent a message to the order to inform them of Harry's early arrival at the Burrow but seemed to understand that he didn't want to give an explanation as to why or how he had got there.
Ginny was clearly in a sulk with him, he was glad that it at least stopped the physical advances she always made towards him, for the moment. As he got into the soft clean bed, in what he thought of as his room at the Burrow, he sighed, he knew he would have to speak with the youngest redhead tomorrow, try to repair their friendship. Sleep claimed his tired mind and body quickly, falling into the first deep sleep he had had in days.
The following few days past in a haze of preparations for Christmas. One or two order members had been coming around every day and Harry knew it was for his protection, from the planned Death Eater attack that Sev had told him about. It rankled with him that not one of the order members told him the real reason for their presence, always giving him excuses of dropping off gifts and such like.
Christmas Eve arrived quickly; Remus and Tonks had been with them all day. Harry had hoped at least this man would be honest with him but he appeared distant and agitated. Harry decided to try speaking with him about his belief that Malfoy was working for Voldemort and that Sev knew what he was up to. The conversation didn't go as he had hoped. Remus's agitation only increased.
"You are telling me that Voldemort has chosen Draco Malfoy for a mission" Remus could hardly keep the incredulous tone out his voice.
"I know it sounds mad..." Harry started
"Has it not occurred to you Harry that Snape was simply pretending to offer Draco help so he could find out what he was up to" Remus cut in.
"It's not what it sounded like" Harry wanted to say it's not what it had felt like. He was struggling to keep his emotions in check over this; he couldn't seem too agitated as the painful memories of Severus's love for the blonde boy flooded him.
"It comes down to whether you trust Dumbledore's judgment. Dumbledore trusts Snape therefore I do"
Harry almost snorted as he fidgeted in his seat trying to remain calm. His feelings towards the Headmaster had changed over the last few weeks. He had been abandoned completely by the old man at a time he needed him most. He knew he had asked for him to leave him and Severus alone with regards to the more personal aspects to their relationship but he hadn't expected him to withdraw his help with the bond completely. He believed the Professor didn't know how to help and had actually made some mistakes regarding the nature of their bond, he had even admitted to doing so.
"Dumbledore can make mistakes, he said so himself..." Harry said fidgeting at his accusations
"You are blinded by hatred" Remus was getting angry
"I'm not!" Merlin he wished he could just tell them why he felt the way he did about this.
"Yes you are! If we start fighting amongst ourselves we are doomed!"
Harry swallowed over a large lump that had formed in his throat as he considered telling them that he didn't want to fight with Severus, that he just wanted to find out what he was up to, if the order didn't know then he was more concerned about it than he had been, but before he could form any words Remus stood and stalked out the room.
Ginny came in and tried to feed him some pastries; he almost choked on them as they went down his dry throat. Ron thankfully interrupted them; he got up and followed Mr. Weasley out to his outdoor store room wanting to ask him what he thought.
The ministry apparently didn't know that Dumbledore was travelling, which lit a little flame of hope that Severus did indeed trust him enough to impart this information to him. They spoke about the cabinet in Borgin and Burkes but it didn't shed any light on what Malfoy was up to. At least Mr Weasley had read his owl and thought his worries were worth investigation Harry thought. Mr. Weasley avoided speaking about the Unbreakable Vow and apologised for Remus's behaviour which Harry found odd, it seemed as though Mr. Weasley sensed there was more to Harry's relationship with Severus than met the eye.
As night-time rolled around Remus and Tonks had to leave, it would be the first night that there had been no Order member staying over and Harry was a little anxious. He sat on the steps of the 1st floor landing looking out over the fields surrounding the Burrow.
Suddenly a large ring of fire appeared around the Burrow as Bellatrix flew in and landed in front of the house. Harry ran down the stairs and straight out towards the deranged woman, wand raised, to shouts of protest from Mr. And Mrs. Weasley. Bellatrix goaded him as she ran into the tall grass shouting about killing his godfather. He knew she was drawing him away from his friends but he didn't care, he was glad he could take the danger to their life's away from their door.
He could feel Severus's anxiety and fear running through him, his emotions coming through stronger than they had in days. He is here he realised.
He could hear screams and feet running behind him and cursed under his breath that his friends had followed him.
Ginny appeared through the long grass as the Death Eater Greyback appeared in front of them.
Fucking marvellous he thought, he would have to protect her now rather than concentrating on fighting his way out of this.
Throwing a stunning hex at Greyback, Harry tried to cover Ginny but it was easily blocked by the growling Death eater who flew off. Harry could hear him reappearing elsewhere close by but couldn't locate him; he knew Bellatrix was also close. Remus, Tonks and Mr Weasley appeared in the clearing and he and Ginny were surrounded by the adults. Harry cursed, he wanted to fight this battle himself and not be the cause of any more death. The fighting only lasted a minute or two before it appeared the Death Eaters gave up. He watched them fly off toward the Burrow, two streaks of swirling black across the sky. Harry turned as he saw a third black streak join the other two as they flew through the Burrow, setting it alight. Severus he thought.
Running back through the long grass toward the Burrow his head was spinning. The words of Severus echoing in his mind in a jumble "However I appear or act there will always be a reason for it...I love you... I will never harm you... Trust me"
The Burrow was devastated, the group watched it burn to the ground. After the fire was out, everyone sat on the ground in a stunned silence, allowing the cold December air to creep over them and chill them to the bone. Mr Weasley was the first to break the morose staring when he stood and started looking for something
"I will create a port key to take us all away together. I think we should head for Grimmauld Place until we can sort this mess out."
He picked up the burnt charred remains of the family clock and pulled his wand, as soon as he did so, a single whirling black streak appeared before them that materialised into Severus in his black flowing Death Eater robes. Mr. Weasley turned his wand on him and Tonks pulled hers out, training it on him seconds later. Remus stood shocked at the appearance of the man he had just defended; who now it seemed, was responsible for getting the other two Death Eaters past the wards surrounding the Burrow.
"Arthur, Tonks lower you wands" Severus said slowly raising his hands in surrender.
"Explain yourself" Remus said approaching
"I have come to take Harry back to the safety of Hogwarts, but I must be quick, the other two are planning their return as we speak. I will need to rejoin them quickly as to not arouse suspicion"
"You were part of this utter destruction!" Remus spat out
Severus hissed through his teeth
"How the hell else did you think I knew about the attack, I was the one that informed the Order it would be happening, you idiot! Do you think the Dark Lords tell all his followers the details of every mission, if they are not directly involved?"
Remus slumped in his understanding and Mr. Weasley and Tonks finally lowered their wands.
Harry had slowly risen to his feet as the exchange between the adults progressed and walked over to his lover. As the wands were lowered Harry stood in front of Severus who focussed on him.
"Harry we need to go" he whispered urgently, as he pulled him into a tight embrace and apparated them away.
A/N Thanks to all who have reviewed appreciated as always.. you guys make me happy! I have reached an incredible amount of alerts on this so thanks to those who are reading but haven't reviewed yet.
Won't say much here because I need to go get some sleep and have spent too much time chatting on FB to write much in A/N... yeah you know who you are LOL
Please review if you are reading and let me know how it's going and if you have any suggestions! LHx