A/N: Thank you PeetaLuver1 (I'm happy you favorited this:D And I kinda miss Haymitch, too. He's so awesome!), DandelionOnFire (LOL, I survived it:DD And no, I don't mind your comments at all:) They amuse me:D), SWPeetaxKatnissAvatarTLA (Haha, Kari would kill me...No, seriously, you have no idea who I thought of killing by now...you'd be shocked if you did, trust me. I do know if I'm gonna kill Gale or not, but I'm not telling you:)), Kari (Of course he'll come back! What kind of monster do you think I am? I could never do that to you;) Seriously, I just needed to let one of them stay...and that happened to be Gale because it was easier to convince Katniss to take Peeta...:) Don't be mad at me:)), InLoveWithPeeta (forgot to tell you, but I'm gald you have a laptop again:D), Ann Rosemary Malfoy, FlamingArrows (Funny how you bring it up that someone could be hurt...and funny that everyone seems to forget that Prim and Peeta aren't the only persons that could get hurt...I'll just say...fear is always there for a reason...maybe you understand what that's supposed to mean...and who'll get hurt:)), kandykanes5150 (VERY sexy:DD And thanks a lot:D), Lolyy (Ya know, it WOULD be possible to make them stay, but the truth is that I need them to run:D), KMloveya (Wow, thank you SO much:D And here's the next chapter:DD), ZaraB (haha, I can:D But I'll bring him back, believe me:)), InLoveWithAFictionalCharacter 7 (Hehe, here's your update:D), WhatLiesWithin23 (THANK YOU! And btw, the chapter wasn't really longer. They're always about 3000 words plus A/N:)), teampeeta4ever, mspacman1 (For a reason:) It IS dangerous and...it's not like there is nothing waiting for them...), Emmy (Thank you:DD I'm glad you think so:D And I always make my chapters have the same lenght because I don't want them to be short:)), dgeeky23 (Well, that's certainly not not interesting, huh?), Mockingjay272 (Yeah, I don't like Gale so much, either, but...he's okay at the moment, I think. I'm happy you like the way I write him, because he really isn't really to write. That's what I love about doing that:D Peeta is harder though...especially writing from his POV is:D), [Reviewer without a name] (THANK YOU! A lot! Really! I'm glad you think this is interesting:DD), ahockey97(You're welcome:D I have fun writing them:D), Me (Well...you'll see what's gonna happen:) And THANKS:D), Rosilyn (First thank you:D And now: Gale won't be out of this story forever. But when he comes back...I don't really want Katniss to decide like that, cuz I'm not one to write fights between Peeta and Gale {physical fights}. I already said that they aren't enimies and it's not as though Gale was like that. I don't want to make him like the ones Katniss ends up hating after a few chapters in other stories. Neither Katniss nor Gale are like that, so I won't do that:) Other than that, I'm trying to put as much fluff as possible, but here can't be as much fluff as in the prequel. There won't be. I'm sorry if what I just wrote sounded harsh but...I can't explain it in another way...:) Don't be mad at me:)), CharmChaser, Luvthisstorey (Thanks:D And we'll see:)), IrisSilver98 (I will:D), Aloha-Pinkly (Seems you're back now:D), JPT .VCM (Soon enough? And THANK YOU!), Kat8100 (Nothing is sexier;) Anyway, thank you! And here's the update!) and zzz (THANK YOU! Here's more:DD)

Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own them

Chapter 4:

I should rest. I know I should. But I also know I can't.

I've been in bed tossing and turning for hours. I can't get used to the feeling that this is the last time I feel it, that this is the last night I spend in the house I grew up in, that this is the last night of my old life.

It's nearly dawn now. The sun hasn't stated rising yet, but I know it will soon. There's probably only one hour left. One hour I know how to spend. One hour to say goodbye.

Of course, there's not much left to say goodbye to. Had I made this decision a month ago…I would probably have said goodbye to the Hob. The building. It was one of the three connections to my father inside the district. The other two are this house here and the mines. Of course, the mines don't bring good memories. When I think of them, I think of my father being blown up to pieces. I think of my mother's despair and her disappearing into a different, dark world. I think of seared lips and hollow cheeks, mine and my family's. I think of bones standing out, I think of burns and ash and coal. No, the mines aren't a place I feel like saying goodbye to. I'll be fine with just leaving them be.

The only place I have left is our house. And I will say my goodbye to it together with mother and Prim. So there aren't any buildings I want to see one last time. There is something though. More like someone. I can't go without bidding my best friend goodbye.

So, after making sure Prim is still asleep, I climb out of my bed, slip into my hunting boots and make my way out of the door without a noise. I don't want them to get even less sleep than they already do…and will.

For the first time I feel fear rising inside me. Before, my thoughts were always directed to survival, to the future I will have once I'm used to living out there. But until then, I will have this fear.

The thing is that I never liked things changing. When I liked, or more like, was content with something the way it was, I was caught completely off guard when it changed. I wasn't prepared, didn't know what to do. That was when my father died, when we almost starved. It was the most sudden change in my entire life and it left me scarred. Not physically, but psychically. There's still that sensation buried deep inside me that makes me feel a déjà vu of the hopelessness I felt back then whenever there's a sudden change and that brings up the fear and the desperation I felt back then.

This time I actually know what is going to change, I chose it, but I don't know what to expect. I'm uncertain. And I don't like it, because not only will this affect me, but also Prim, mother and Peeta.

While I make my way over to the Hawthorns' house I realize how glad I am I won't also endanger Gale and his family. How glad I am that, at least in this case, I've done the right thing. Well, am going to do, actually. Because I won't feel right if I don't say goodbye. If I don't tell him I won't forget.

I don't even need to knock. He's out of the house the moment he sees me through one of the three windows of his house. He rushes over to me and says:

"Katniss, I'm sorry for yesterday, how I acted, how I reacted. You were right. Katniss, I have to stay. I have to stay to help. To give them the ability to survive.

We've always been like that, haven't we? Always made sure our family survives. That's how our paths crossed. And apparently…this seems to be why they part.

There are only a few things I want to tell you. Katniss, you can do this. I know it. I have faith in you. You can hunt. You're a better hunter than I am. You are fast. You are strong. You are a survivor. And you are my best friend. I will never forget you."

And with that I'm in his arms.

I'm stunned, to say the least. I've never, ever, seen Gale like that. His behavior is strange and so unlike him. But then again, so are the circumstances.
And for one last time, I wrap my arms around his neck and inhale his scent, so much smelling like the woods, so much like mine. I'm glad I don't have to fight with him again, I'm glad this is a goodbye I can look back to find strength. Because I will need strength.

When he pulls back, holding me arms-length to lock our eyes he says: "However unlikely it may be, I hope I'll see you again someday."

It is unlikely, but nevertheless I tell him: "Me too. And…I won't forget either." I don't know if I can hold this promise, but I know I will try. And that seems to be enough for him, because he lets go of me completely.

"It's almost dawn. You should leave now." I can see how this affects him, I can see the pain in his eyes as he says those words, but I can also see that he means them.

So I rise to my tiptoes and give him a kiss on the cheek. "Goodbye."

And with that, and the knowledge that he isn't mad at me, at least not anymore, I turn around and walks slowly back to my house.

While I do, I relive all the years that passed, all the years I knew him. Flashbacks to us hunting, to us resting while we were fishing, gathering berries and selling them at the Hob, talking to Peacekeepers, trading, and of course talking. Even though I know it will be something I will miss and that may hurt me when I think that I'll never have that again, I want to think about it, to remember. It's important for me, those memories are traces of happiness which was such a rare emotion after my father died. And I want to remember the boy, the man who gave them too me.

I blink when I feel a tear building in the corner of my eye. I won't let it fall. I won't cry because I can't afford to appear weak now, to be weak. Gale said I'm strong, he said I can do this, and I believe him. After all, he knows me best.

Other than that, I have to believe it. How long would I be supposed to live if I told myself it's completely hopeless? That way I didn't have to run. That way I could just stay here and wait till we're nothing but skin and bone.

I look up at the sky. The first rays of the sun are already visible, although only to well-trained eyes like mine. I can barely suppress a smile. Not that my current situation is very funny, it's just that before I went to see Gale I was only pessimistic. Now…I still don't believe everything will go smooth, but I have faith in surviving. He somehow reminded me that after my father died the odds were against me surviving and I did. Now the odds are against me surviving again, and thinking like that, I can feel the hope that I'm able to beat them again.

"Katniss?" When I hear a whisper from the left, I stop dead in tracks. What if anyone caught me?

Then I remind myself that no one could have caught me doing anything. After all, I'm not. Well, apart from thinking, but even the Capitol doesn't have the abilities to read my thoughts.

So when I turn me face in the direction of the voice it doesn't show the shock I'm sure it must have a few seconds ago. My eyes land on the silhouette of a man standing a few feet away from me. Although it's still dark I recognize him. The muscles in my face relax a bit.

"You're here." Peeta takes a few steps closer until he's standing right in front of me.

"Told you I'd be here by dawn." He looks around. "Where are Prim and your mother?"

Only now do I realize that I've already reached our garden. "They're still inside. Sleeping. I'll go get them." Then I think that he could do something more useful than standing around and add: "You could get the backpacks. They're inside, hidden under the sofa."

We hid them there last night in case a peacekeeper appeared at our door. Not that it would have been expected, but since there was a small chance they knew…better safe than sorry.

He nods, signalizing he understood. I open the door to let him in and walk straight to the bedroom. "Mother!" I whisper. "Prim! Wake up!"

Prim's eyes are the first to flutter. She opens them, for a moment looking sleepy and unfocused. Then I can literally see how it makes 'click' inside her head and she jumps up.

"We're going now?" I don't need to nod, because she knows anyway. She doesn't even wait for my answer. She just hops out of her bed and goes over to mother.

"Wake up!" She whispers it in a voice much softer than mine. "We're going."

At this my mother begins to stir, too. As soon as her eyes open she seems to be aware of everything, unlike Prim and unlike her usual self. Usually it takes her a few minutes to come back to reality. I don't know what she dreams about at night, she never told us and we never asked. It's like an unspoken agreement between us.

But today it's different. I briefly wonder if she's gotten any sleep at all, but since there are more important things to worry about I quickly shake that thought from my head.

Turns out there were both already dressed for today, like me, so we don't have to waste any more time. They put on their boots while I go back to our living room.

"There's only one backpack left", says a heavily loaded Peeta from the door. He's carrying four of them now, two belong to us, two belong to him. He's grinning.

"And I always thought women need more stuff than man do." I can't help the slight smile that crosses my, how I now realize, tensed features. How very Peeta-like. Always trying to lift the mood, always a bit ironical, always encouraging.

"Usually." Prim has arrived now, too. "But apparently, you need more than we do."

He smiles at her. "Actually there's only food in the second pack. The loaves were too big for the first one and…since it was the only thing I considered really necessary…" I give him a thankful smile. We'll need all food we can get and bread is one of the best things he could have brought.

Then I grab our last belonging and say: "We have to leave. The sun will be risen in a few minutes and…I don't want to risk being seen."

They both nod and so does my mother. I take a deep breath. Now it's getting serious. While we walk through the Seam in the direction of the meadow, we make sure to always stay in the shadows of the houses, even though it's still dark. Like I said earlier, better safe than sorry.

It's been thirteen years since I first crawled under the fence to slip away. It's been seven years since I last felt nervous about going out there. That was because it was the first time I went there alone, without my father. Now I'm nervous again. Nervous because this is the last time I'll do it.

One by one they duck and quickly hide behind the trees, my mother the last before I go. One last time I turn around to get one last glance at the Seam, my home. I see the coal-covered buildings and the near-derelict ones, and I think about all the memories connected with this part of district twelve, all my childhood memories of this meadow. My eyes fall on a rock, my old hiding spot. I smile. How many hours have I spent there when I was young? I haven't used it since I started using the woods as my place to escape reality, but I haven't forgotten about it.

And then I hear Prim's voice calling my name, worried. "Are you coming?" And with that I pry my eyes free from District twelve and with that my old life, and focus on the trees behind the fence, and with that my new life.

As soon as I'm on the other side, safe and without being seen, I find my companions waiting for me. My mother is looking around hesitantly.

"Where are we going now?" She speaks it out, but I'm sure that's what the other two are thinking about, too.

I sigh, shaking my head. I need to focus on here and now. "First I'm going to get my bow and my arrows. And then…" I hesitate. I've never told anyone about it. That was mine and father's special place.
But then I remember that doesn't matter anymore, that we need this place, and say with new found determination:

"There's a clearing with a lake, a few hours away from here. There's also a small house where we can stay for one or two weeks. It's safe, at least for now. After that…we'll have to wander and find something else."

I don't tell them that I don't know where to go after we have to leave, because I don't want them to worry. My plan was to look for something while hunting. It's not as though I expect to find a settlement, or even any other human being out here, but Prim's words got me thinking. And now I have the slight hope that there could be something out here. That there could be a place where we can stay forever, where we'll be safe.

We walk in silence. Well, at least I think so, until I hear the hushed voices coming from behind me. I don't turn around, pretending not to notice, but I listen to their conversation.

"Has she ever told you about this?" Prim. There was a time I thought about taking her there, but that was when she was still younger and I dismissed the thought, she was too small to be able to walk that far.

"No. You?" Peeta. No, I never considered taking him there. It was like my meeting spot with Gale. This clearing belonged to me and my father.

"No. But I haven't been out here with her as often as you." I've never thought about that, but now that she mentions it, I realize it's true. Since Prim wasn't able to hunt and this was just a danger more, I didn't take her very often.

"Really?" His voice sounds surprised. "I thought she must have. Since you know so much about herbs and plants."

I don't see it, since I still don't turn around, but I can imagine her shaking her head. "I know what I know from mother or our book. By the way, the new ones were beautifully drawn. You did it, didn't you?"

"And your sister. Although she refuses to admit it." Because it's not true. He drew them and he knows it.

Prim laughs. "You got her to sketch? I thought she was as hopeless at it as I am with hunting?"

Now it's Peeta's turn to laugh. "That's what she claims, too. But she isn't, not really. She only has to realize that she can do it, if only she believes she can."

I'm tempted to sigh. Of course he would think like that. Only it isn't true.

"You really like her, don't you?" I can hear Prim's smile in her voice. "You wouldn't have gone otherwise."

"I do." He's smiling, too. Although I guess I should know it, I feel the smile spreading across my face. As far as I can remember, he's never told me directly. But then again, I've never told him anything like that either. Not that it's a surprise. I'm not one to talk about feelings.

I don't know if they keep talking, but if they do I can't hear them anymore. I focus on our surroundings, wanting to know where exactly we are and how long it will take us. Since I know the woods like the back of my hand, it doesn't take me long to recognize the part we are in and since the direction we're heading doesn't lead us away from our designation I don't change it.

Our journey proceeds rather eventless, it's like one of my usual days out here, it doesn't feel like I'll spend the rest of my life out here quite yet. Although I know the point will surely come when my subconscious mind realizes that this is final. Because it is.

And I can only hope that everything will go as smooth as today. So why can't I shake the feeling that this is only the lull before the storm?

This chapter was kinda...a thoughie. It's more like a filler, actually, but I hope you like it though. Do you?