A/N: THANK YOU ahockey97 (Thank you:D I'm very relieved and happy about that:DD), SparksFly23(Thank you:D I'm glad you think so:D), FlamingArrows (Yeah, I know, but she died, so if you didn't feel sad that would mean I've screwed up, right?:)), PeetaLuver1, Aloha-Pinkly (Thanks:D And I KNOW! NO CLIFFY! LOL:DD), teampeeta4ever(Yeah, kind of:) I mean, I always thought she'd die in the books. Why, I don't know, but I thought so. But she didn't, so...:)), TheSkyDriverz (Capitol...practically:)), Abby-TheTeeny (Oh god sorry! I always feel bad when I read I've made people cry! I think I should take it as a compliment but...Sorry:)), SWPeetaxKatnissAvatarTLA (Haha, no problem, I understand what you mean xD Thanks:D), InLoveWithAFictionalCharacter 7, maryclumsy (Thank you:D I'm glad you think so:)), DandelionOnFire (You reviewed so...no problem:D 'Wow' *is* a proper word xD Oh, and you'll get some of your questions answered in this chapter:)), SamiCatalfumo (Thank you a LOT! And I think I understand what you mean xD), Kiss Peeta (Very true:)), Kari (I kinda didn't know what to do with her so...now she's gone), Mockingjay272 (Damn it. Why didn't I think of this three finger thingy? I always forget this small details...:)), Reven Eid (Oh yes...), InLoveWithPeeta (Thank you:) I'm glad you think so:)), bookwriter-lover1212 (Yeah, you're right. It was kinda sweet, although that isn't cogently the word I'd have used:)), ZaraB (Yeah, it is kinda hard to believe:)), kandykanes5150 (I don't think they'd have a reason to torture her. She isn't important or anything. They might as well get over with it. Sorry, that sounds so cold-hearted, which I am not, but that's how the guy who shot her thought...well, how I made him think. And thank you:D), mrspatrickdempsey (Right, they are from the Capitol. I didn't want to answer this question with those words...I like playing with words andnot saying everything straight out:)), Aria-dancingdolphins15 (It's Ok, you're back:D), anon (Yeah...there's that thing with the words 'home' and 'Disrict thirteen'. I never felt like it was a home...:)), L2Dance, mspacman1 (Right, it's only fair...:))and Emmy (Aww, thanks:DD)

Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games

Chapter 8:

Prim asked for the first watch this night. She claimed it was because we had been awake the last night, but I knew what her real intentions were; She wanted some time to think and cry over mother, even if she wouldn't admit it.

Of course, there was nothing I could say against it. I understood her, I wanted her to have time. I promised myself not to let anymore tears fall, but I can't forbid Prim to let her feelings out. Isn't that what I wanted her to do, instead of keeping them to herself?

Yes. I don't want her to become like me, who is always hiding her feelings. I still believe that is the right strategy for me, but Prim, who has always been full of life, happy, always the complete opposite of me, shouldn't do that, shouldn't change, because she is as close to perfect as someone of our species can get.

Peeta, however, was very reluctant to climb a tree, much less did, and still does, he want to sleep in it. "I won't sleep a wink up there," were his exact words.

But after a rather dragged out argument, "So you want to die instead?" , in which he got me very upset, "You're the most stubborn person I've ever met!", because he just wouldn't understand that sleeping unprotected at the ground wasn't an option, "A bear would eat me either way…and at the ground I could at least run away!" "Probably, but a wolf wouldn't. Do you think I want to lose someone else?", he accepted that, for once, I was right and he would be spending the night in a tree.

The next challenge is getting him up there, although I have to admit his tree-climbing skills have improved since he last tried, even if that doesn't mean much. They were, to say the least, never more than barely acceptable. It would have to do, though, because I didn't have that argument with him for no reason.

After a few failed attempts and me finally accepting I can't lift him high enough, which, how I have to admit, was actually not the smartest idea I've ever had, after all he weighs almost twice as much as me, we decide it's probably better if I climb up first and pull him up after that. Yeah well, I decide. That still isn't the best way, but we don't have a ladder or something, so we can't be picky.

"Do you really think this is going to work?" He looks at me with doubt as he's grabbing my hand.

"Not without you having at least a bit faith in me. I won't let you fall," I retort. He rolls his eyes.

"I never said I don't have faith in you. I don't have faith in that tree." Now it's my turn to roll my eyes.

"We've been over that already. It isn't that fragile. In fact, it isn't fragile at all. It will be able to take your weigh. Now come on." And with that said, I pull.

Unfortunately I have a habit I can't seem to shake, and that habit happens to be me flourishing my hands while talking, which resulted in me letting go of the branch I was holding before, so there's nothing to steady me and my pulling has the opposite effect of what I wanted it to. And the fact that he's unprepared might have to do with it, too. Because instead of pulling him up, it pulls me down, so I land on top of him.

I feel his laughter rather than hearing it, as his chest is heaving up and down and vibrating. "Do you still think that's such a good idea?"

I turn my face away from his, feeling the urge to scowl at him, but at the same time, I don't want him to see the blush that is quickly creeping up my neck. Of course I needn't have done that, since I'm pretty sure he's seen it either way, but I cling to the small hope that he hasn't, and if that is actually the case, I will not give him this satisfaction.

I push myself up to my feet again and snort. "Yes. I only have to remember holding that branch."

Peeta is still on the ground, although he's propped up on one elbows now and reaching out with one hand. "Would you help me up?" Usually my answer would probably be yes, but after he laughed at me…I don't like being laughed at.

"No," I snap at him. He sighs and I'm almost positive he's going to do it himself now, but his hand grabs my wrist and pulls me down again.

I barely have time to say anything, to react at all, when he's turned us around and is pinning me to the ground. I'm about to start kicking and screaming, since I'm really annoyed now and I really don't have time for this, but he beats me to it. Well, actually he is only talking.

"Listen, I know you're upset, but it's not my fault. Stop taking it out on me, will you?" It's not his fault? Who's preventing me from moving?

"Get off of me," I snarl. I can't remember ever talking to him like that before. I've never been as angry at him as now either. Although I'm not quite sure why I'm so upset.

"What have I done to you?" He's had his chance to do this the comfortable way, and it's over now. I start struggling against his grip and I'm sure he feels it, but to my discontent he doesn't let it show.

"Katniss, search your feelings. Who are you really mad at? You know it's not me." I glare up at him. I want to tell him that yes, I am only mad at him, for not letting me get up, for arguing with me the whole day.

But there's something holding the words down, making them stuck in my throat, and I have a feeling this something is called conscience.

It doesn't really make it better that I know I'm right with that guess, I don't need to question it, and it somehow makes me feel somewhat humiliated that, again, Peeta is right and I am not.

But it's true. I may be upset with him, especially at the moment, but I have to admit that he isn't the source of all the fury and hate streaming through my veins right now.

My mind wanders to the last few hours, to a bang, to the absolute of dislike, hate. And grief, grief that fueled said hate and is now over, consumed by the stronger, darker feeling. I see a dead body, hear a voice and a slap, over and over again. Her blood was shed for the Capitol, even though it saved us.

It also makes me feel guilty, because I obviously underestimated her. And I blamed her for my need to grow up this fast because she abandoned us. It is her fault, but she atoned for it and I never had the chance to tell her. I realize I'm hating myself for not being able to save her and at the Capitol for killing her in the first place.

"It's my fault," I whisper. True, the Capitol killed her, but it could have, should have been me making that sacrifice.

At this, Peeta sighs again. He carefully lifts his hand, probably afraid I'm going to take advantage of him allowing space between me and the ground next to me, but I don't plan on doing so. He pushes a strand of hair out of my face and says, with a softer, although still serious, voice:

"That's not what I was going for, actually. Katniss, it's not your fault. Stop blaming yourself for things you couldn't have impended. It's their fault." He then, for some reason, takes a deep breath. "And mine."

He drops his gaze, probably not wanting to face me anymore. He shouldn't be feeling like that. I don't blame him. It's not his task, taking care of my family, never was.

"It's not…" But before I can say more he cuts me off.

"It is." He all but shouts it, in a pained voice. "I came along to make it easier for you, to make sure all of you survive. If I hadn't been there she would have had time to join you. She would still be alive. I failed you."

His voice, once again, is barely audible at the end, like when he told me her last words directed at him. "What if I fail her, too? What if I can't hold my promise? What if anything happens to either of you?"

I'm stunned. A few minutes ago, he was self-aware, he was calm, he was trying to get me to feel better, to stop letting my anger out on him. He was right. I did.

But now it's kind of worse. He thinks it's his fault when it couldn't be farther from the truth.

"Maybe that's what my father meant when he told me to stay true to myself. To stay true to my believes, my way of thinking about the Capitol. I…it was wrong. She decided to be murdered, but…she shouldn't have had to make that decision. In a way it was still the Capitol deciding for her."

Now he finally looks at me again. "Do you remember 'brains' and 'brawns'? They…they were talking about someone…someone with plans. Katniss, who could that be? And where is he bringing them to?"

I can't help but stare at him. What does one thing have to do with the other? My mother with this boy? Where is the connection I'm obviously missing?

"I don't know. Why?"

"Katniss, no one takes information as vulnerable as this with them if there's nothing they want to use it for. I…I don't know how to explain but…shouldn't there be…a chance that he…

They're controlling our lives, the Capitol. And our deaths. But he…he has something to… well, perhaps…prevent them from doing so."

I don't understand. What does this have to do with my mother? I mean, maybe that they were controlling her death but…that's it.

"I don't…" But he, once again, cuts me off, the eagerness in his eyes having vanished.

"It doesn't matter. Not really. This forest is big. Maybe he's even already reached his designation..."

I gasp, slowly understanding what he's trying to get across. "You want to find him?"

"Why?" That is still a riddle to me. Even if we did find him, could we trust him? And…other than that, it would put us in danger again. Finding this boy seems more like a suicide mission to me than something that is helpful.

Peeta just shakes his head. "Forget it."

Usually I may have tried to persuade him into telling me, but my instincts tell me that talking him into precipitating into ruin wouldn't be the best idea I've ever had.

Somehow, without me noticing obviously, he's not above me anymore, instead he's lying next to me. "Should we try again?" He gestures to the tree. "We've wasted enough time fighting."

Well, I have to agree with him on that. Our fight really was unnecessary, especially since we weren't really mad at each other.

I nod, only now realizing how tired I am as moving my head suddenly seems like a task as hard as lifting a deer. Now that the adrenaline has left me there's nothing left but my wakefulness…or lack thereof. No surprise, after all I didn't get any sleep last night and with everything that happened today…I have a right to be exhausted.

Peeta got up first and is now helping me to my feet. "Remember to hold onto that branch this time," he tells me with a grin.

I'm tempted to stick my tongue out at him, but it seems childish, so I don't. Instead I give him a glare, which earns me a fake hurt pout and, completely against my will, I feel the corners of my mouth twitching. Now who's the childish one?

This time I succeed in pulling him up. When I lean back against a branch fork higher up, Peeta a few feet below me, claiming my branch wouldn't be able to hold him, when in reality he only didn't want to climb higher than necessary, I realize he really has a way of cheering me up and distracting me.

He somehow managed to get my mind off of today's events, and with everything that's happened today, that's quite a challenge. Unfortunately, now that I'm sitting here, alone, with nothing but my mind keeping me company, it's all coming back to me, preventing me from my much needed sleep. I fear that sleep will only bring nightmares, the kind I have of my father being blown up to pieces in the mine incident all those years ago.

Thinking of my father doesn't make it better. I let the woman he loved die. Well, she's with him now, but…she's already the second member of my family I lost. What if…Prim…I shake my head violently. I don't want to think of it. Can't. She won't. Primrose Everdeen will not die until she has reached a great age, until she's had a good life. What did Peeta say? Over my dead body. Yes. I won't live to see her death because I will die earlier. I was born first, so I will also die first.

"Katniss?" His voice is barely above a whisper and I'm slightly surprised I can understand him.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" I mean, sure, he might not be comfortable being in a tree and all, but he must be exhausted, too.

"You keep shifting around up there and I wanted to ask you what's wrong." I can't help but snort at that.

"You mean aside from the obvious?" I glance down at him. He's sitting there, his back against the trunk, one hand clinging to the branch he sitting on as if to prevent him from falling off. He doesn't need it though, because his belt is tied around said branch, as is mine. Well, not the same branch as his. Mine.

I watch him shift slightly as he sighs. "I'm sorry. But there's nothing we can do now, and you need your sleep." It really is ironic how often he seems to be using those words against me.

"I can't turn my mind of. It's not some kind of light with a switcher or something." I wish it was though. It would make things a lot easier at times.

"I know." With that he unties his belt from its place, and with that he practically takes away his safety.

"What are you doing?" He doesn't make it better by slowly setting his feet on the branch. He quickly grasps the trunk, making me worry about him. He doesn't exactly have a head for heights and I don't want him to fall off.

I'm relieved when he ties the belt around the trunk, but he still hasn't answered my question, and I don't really know what his intentions are until he's standing and says:

"I thought this would be more comfortable if we were at eye level." Despite his position, he's grinning. Sometimes I don't understand him.

"But what do you think would happen if you went to sleep now?" Well, obviously it isn't as obvious as I thought it was.

"Nightmares." Although I'm pretty sure he's not as familiar with them as I am, he must know what they are. No one in District twelve hasn't never had one. Not with the reaping to think of.

He smiles at me, softly and sadly. "They'll only come if you think about bad things before going to sleep." It's as though he's trying to soothe a little child that is afraid of its first day at school. At least that is what his tone of voice reminds me of.

"How would you know?" He really can't be an expert at this subject. After all, even I haven't found a solution.

"My mother, remember? There was a time I would have nightmares about her because of…what she used to do to me." How could I forget? Of course. An abusive mother must make her children having nightmares. And I've seen him with a bruised cheek more than once.

"Whenever I cried myself to sleep the nightmares were sure to come." He looks down, remembering this. I can't help feeling sorry for him. He really cried himself to sleep because of her?

"That was when I was younger, of course. I learned to deal with it. I found that thinking of nice things before falling asleep…it helped."

"What did you think of?" Now I'm really interested. That idea never crossed my mind.

He shrugs. "Different things. Things that made me happy. Baking. Frosting. Drawing." He smiles mischievously. "You."

I actually smile at his last statement. I'm not sure whether it's because I'm laughing at him or because I get this somewhat fuzzy, warm feeling from his words though.

"What am I supposed to be thinking of?"

He seems to think about it for a second. "What makes you happy?"

Now it's my turn to be thinking. It's a good question, actually. What makes me happy? It's hard to find something at the moment, so I ask something else. What used to make me happy?

That works better, because even though my life had always been far from perfect, there have been happy moments in it. Hunting with Gale and my father. Making Prim happy, especially when I gave her that goat. The feeling of freedom whenever I was out in the woods. And my days with Peeta, too.

Reliving all those moments, I feel myself getting more and more tired, my eyelids start dropping as I feel a hand gently caressing my cheek, and finally, sleep consumes me. And when I awake, it's not because of a nightmare.

It's because of the sound of footsteps, coming closer and closer.

I know I know, it's not that fluffy, but the only thing I said was that there would be more fluff than in the previous chapters...and there was:) I hope you liked it, because this was kinda a break...it's not hard to guess why after the last sentence:DD Well...nothing's wrong with telling me your guess though;)