As I closed the bathroom door, I inhaled. Deeply. Feeling the air fill up my lungs- hold a second, then exhale. A long, calming breath was what I needed to focus. I scanned the bathroom, knowing exactly what I was taking- only the essentials. 'Toothbrush, Gran's comb and brush set is all I need,' I thought. With said items in one hand, I lightly place my free hand on the door, slowly leaning into it, turn my head slightly, pressing my ear against it and suction it there. I strain as I try to listen for Eric. I needed him to be out of the bedroom...and downstairs, at least. I needed privacy. My very last resort required it. Because of Eric's super hyper hearing, it's going to be difficult to make 'the call'. He would probably make out the number, know exactly who I was calling, ask a million and one questions...and press for answers. I would end up inevitably, and unwillingly, answering some...if not most. I don't want him involved. At all. To me, if you don't know anything, you have zero accountability. I know that not all/any vampires follow the moral codes and conducts in the human world, but all vampires know that Eric is a very valuable and extremely dangerous asset to acquire. I don't think they'd destroy him after I die. What's the point? I would be dead. I would no longer be a distraction. He would be free to do whatever he wanted...no maker, wife, bonded to answer to. I cringe. For a brief moment, I want to flee. I want Eric and I to start running, flying, whatever is needed for us to go away and live happily ever after. I send some love via the bond, hoping he is still busy preparing this evenings itinerary, and not noticing how I'm feeling. I'm flooded with lust, anticipation, love, uneasiness- that's not bad, considering all the emotions I was feeling, and trying my darnedest to suppress.
Feeling a bit relieved he hasn't felt anything out of the ordinary, I opened the bathroom door and step out. Eric's not in there. Good. But not really. He could still hear. Damn vamp speed and hearing! Then it hits me. I call the number, hang up and maybe, hopefully, someone would call me back. Good idea? Not sure. But before I lose my nerve, I dial. Boop beep boop- I hang up. Too risky. It's louder than I thought it would be. I will call. It would be later is all. Still not feeling a thing on this side of the bond, I quickly and quietly open up a chest that contains several very meaningful items to me- I'm only looking for two in particular. First, Cluviel Dor- no explanation needed. Second, is a gift to Eric. Half a gift, so far. I'll need Pam's help to finish it. 'She's going to think I'm so clever.' I thought in a sinister voice. She'll understand the significance of it, and the reason for the emergency rush. She would know who to go to and make sure it's exactly what I need and am looking for. I was seeking the impossible and hoping Pam could deliver. I wanted...no, needed, it before he rose the next night. "Lover," was all he got out before I replied, "Almost done, baby. Be down in a few." "Acceptable," he replied, in both ways. His voice was impatient, and the bond seconded that- but I also felt joy, lust, soured by some sadness. Not sure which scenario is making him sad, I just send love his way. I want him to feel nothing but love from me. I don't want to weigh him down with any other feeling. His plate is, as always, full with any and every thing you can think of. Vampire stuff, and not just politics...surviving, feeding...protecting me- the list can go on and on. I shake my head at the number of times he has put his life, or existence, on the line for me. After sending some more love and lust, his way, I place all the items in my purse (Dor in the secret compartment), zip it close, grab it from the bottom and flip it- making sure all the contents stay put. All secure. I then hurry to get some other items that I want to take with me- bra and panties. Some of them were the sexy...very sexy sets that Eric has purchased for me. Replaced, actually. He liked to shred, rip and tear anything on my body, that posed as a barrier from him seeing what he wanted. What he desired. It made him feel like he was pillaging. I wasn't complaining, in fact, tonight I planned on wearing every set I brought. Rip. Tear. Shred. Repeat- all night long...FOCUS!
Grabbing my over night bag, I unload the armful of bras and panties into it. I then toss in some random comfy clothes, and head for the jewelry box. I stop before I open it. Staring at it. Knowing who gave it to me, all the memories that it held for her, as well as myself. I run my hand over it, rubbing my fingers over the engrained pattern, several times, before I open it. As I lift the top, I spot something in the corner of my eye, something else I want to take- a picture of me, Jason and Gran. It was taken not long after our parents were killed. Murdered, actually. I loved that picture. Gran had this special way of looking at us, with love and protection. It was present in this one. We were on the porch steps in our Sunday best when it was taken. Sunny out, that's why Gran still has her church hat on. "I will love and miss you forever, Gran." I whispered as I kissed the picture before placing it in my bag.
I didn't kid myself into thinking that I was going to live past a couple days, max. Feeling a little optimistic, there is a slight possibility that my plan can perfect and I live...but I couldn't bank on that. I had already made...came to grips, with my decision. And that's ok. It's what I've decided. Me, no one else. Not Castro, not Sophie-Ann (when she was, um...queen), not Bill, not Eric. ME! "Lover, what seems to be the problem?" He was there before I knew it. I was preoccupied with my thoughts. Whoops. Think fast... "Sorry. I was looking at a picture of Jason, me...and Gran." I sent some sorrow, sadness and love his way. I think I recovered well. Wanting to change the subject- like I normally would, "Eric, can you help me pick out some jewelry for," I looked away, not wanting to feel his gaze, "the meeting with the king." I said as I wrapped my arms around his waist, and buried my head in his chest. He hugged me a little tighter than I held him. Before he stepped away, he gently placed two fingers under my chin, to nudge it up, to look at him. "How about we bring all of it, to our house? Would that appease my wife?" He asked with the most beautiful smirk on his face. It wasn't his 'go to' smile- that was the one that showed his teeth. All of them gleaming and magnificent...nothing tops that. But this made top 5. "I think it would, appease me," I smiled my genuine smile to him. I smiled because of what I just heard him say. Should I be so bold as to ask? I'm fidgeting with my hands at this point, thinking...thinking. I go for it. "Eric, you just said our house? Did you mean to...or did it slip out?" I finished, but didn't take my eyes from his. They were as blue and as deep as the sea, and they were lusting after me. I didn't need the bond to tell me that. I could tell by looking into his eyes. Heck, anyone would've been able to tell, looking into those blazing blue fiery flitted eyes. I wanted him too, he could feel/smell that. Crap! Thankfully, before I had to think something up, he spoke. "Sookie, I do believe you know me long enough and well enough to know that I do not let things slip out, as you say." He brushed a kiss against my lips before he continued, "My lover. My wife. My bonded. You can know me far better...than anyone. I am ecstatic that you have not realized the magnitude, yet. " He leaned down, kissed me passionately, then whispered in my ear, "I fear if you only knew," he lightly pecked my lips, "I think I may actually fear you." He chuckled. Was he serious? Great, now, I have more questions that needed answering. A plethora in general...and one in particular- what was Eric talking about. I need to make THE CALL!