Conflict Resolution

He's pretty much the only person Superboy dares to spar with, outside of Black Canary. That way, if Conner loses control for, say, a second, his opponent actually won't be a red splat on the training wall. Plus, Kaldur's punches are about the only ones that actually leave an impression on Conner. Kid Flash occasionally does a bout with him-partly to help with his super-speed, partly to impress M'gann-but those generally end up frustrating Conner more than anything. It's not exactly fun to keep punching at thin air, particularly yellow-shaded thin air that won't shut up.

And right now, frustration is the last thing that Superboy needs.

The little grunt he gives as he takes Aqualad's punch in the stomach is a poor reward, but with Superboy, you have to take what you can get. On instinct, Kaldur whips back, just in time for a fist to go hissing above his nose. His hands flash forward to grapple the arm but it's already gone. Solid bone bashes into his knees and he goes down. Through the haze of pain, he hears the computer beep disapprovingly.

Superboy's foot is coming down, and Aqualad rolls away from it, gathering his legs under him and leaping up. Conner comes roaring at him, but this time Kaldur is ready for the punch. He whips back, grapples the arms, and yanks forward, using Superboy's own momentum to send him sailing overhead and crashing to the mat.

The computer beeps again.

Superboy leaps back up, eyes flaming, but Aqualad holds up his hand. "The match ends when one is felled." He reminds the Kryptonian. "Our fight should have ceased when you defeated me."

Conner's shoulders slump, and the fire dies. "Oh. Right." He seems at a loss for a moment, then shrugs. "You… want to go it again?"

"Thank you, but no." Several of Kaldur's ribs definitely feel tender, and now that the adrenaline has worn off he can feel the throbbing in his kneecaps. "I think it best to stop while the score is even."

Conner grunts. "Well, we're out of those training robots, and Black Canary is out, so…"

"I'm afraid I still must refuse." As he hobbles toward the bench, Kaldur half-turns to arch an eyebrow at Conner. "You seem… tense, my friend. Is something troubling you?"

"No. Yes. Maybe. Nothing you can help with, anyway," sighs Conner. He sits down next to Kaldur. "It's got to do with M'gann."

Unsurprised, Kaldur nods.

"It's… well, here's the thing." The Kryptonian sighs again. "M'gann's great and all, and always trying to please and super sweet and… but she's got these… things she expects me to do." A snort bursts loose from him. "Things that, apparently, Cadmus didn't think necessary to install."

Kaldur freezes. "What sort of 'things' are we talking about?" He asks carefully.

"Just things." Conner shrugs. "Flowers and chocolate and dates and stuff. Why, what'd you think I was talking about?"

"Nothing," says Kaldur, allowing himself a small breath of relief.

Throwing him a wierd look, Conner continues with his story. "Apparently, there's all sorts of stuff that couples are supposed to do together. Going out to ball games, watching movies at the theater, roller-blading in the park, hanging out at the drugstore and drinking soda fountains..."

Kaldur blinks. "What?"

"Yeah. She got pretty depressed when we found out they didn't have those anymore," shrugs Superboy. "See, she knows all this stuff from all those old sitcoms and things she watched back on Mars. But the problem is, she won't TELL me what she wants me to do. But she still gets upset when I don't do it." Conner throws up his hands in frustration. "She's mad at me for not doing something she hasn't told me to do? How much sense does that make? I mean, I feel stupid just SAYING that."

"Ah," says Kaldur, just barely restraining a chuckle of nostalgia. He feels himself on much more familiar ground. "Perhaps…" he ventures.

But Conner has already gone off on his own story. "Like see, the other day, we were making out in the garage, you know? And it was all happy and perfect and… great." A slightly goofy smile teases the edge of his mouth momentarily. "But then, during this one spot where we're just sorta… staring at each other, she says, 'Do you have anything special prepared for today?' And she gives this little waggle of her eyebrows." Conner demonstates.

"Mm." Recognizing his role as sympathetic ear, and already seeing the inevitable ending to this tragedy, Kaldur simply nods.

"So I smile, because she's hot when she does that, and I say, 'oh, I don't know, I was thinking of training some with Black Canary and maybe catching up on that homework we have for biology…' And she starts crying! Just…" Conner waves his arms in frustration. "…out of nowhere! And when I ask her what's wrong, she just says something like 'If you don't know, I can't tell you,' and runs off to her ship! And she won't come out at all, and she hasn't really talked to me since and…" Conner sags suddenly. "…and… I still don't know what I did."

"I see." Kaldur nods again, though he really doesn't. Though the structure of the story is painfully familiar, he's no more certain of the plot than Conner is.

"I mean, 'If you don't know I can't tell you?' What kind of answer is that? That's not helpful at all!"

"No," agrees Kaldur, thinking hard. "Tell me, what day was this?"

Conner blinks once, twice, caught off-guard by the odd question. "Last week Thursday." He says finally. "I remember, because it was the day the Sonic Baron attacked the playground at Happy Harbor High and…"

"Last week Thursday… yes, yes. The fourteenth?" Kaldur glances over to catch Conner's nod. "Perhaps she expected you to recall your anniversary." The day is a little off, but then, he's not sure what exactly M'gann was looking for, the mission, the kiss, or the date.

Face still lost in confusion, Conner just looks at him. "Our what now?"

"Fourteenth of July." Kaldur clarifies. "Last year at approximately this time, you and M'gann went undercover at Belle Reeve, remember?"

"Well yeah," scoffs Superboy. "Of COURSE I remember, it was sorta hard to forget, what with M'gann nearly dying and…"

"But that is when the two of you began your relationship, correct?"

"Yeaaaaaaah…. Is this going somewhere?"

Kaldur sighs. Though he realizes there are gaps in the Superboy's encyclopedic knowledge, it DOES seem like the clone should be quicker on the uptake.

"M'gann hoped you would remember the occasion." He explains.

"But I did!"

"And do something special to commemorate it."

"Well why didn't she just say so?"

"Because she wanted you to remember it!"

"But I DID!"

"The point is…"says Kaldur, holding up his hand to forestall further wrath, "M'gann wanted you to commemorate the event not simply to please her, but because you love her."

"But…" Superboy looks curiously vulnerable suddenly. "…I do."

The confused misery is so familiar that Kaldur goes so far as to pat Conner on the back. "I know." He nods, handing him the water bottle. "I know."

The two teens sit in silence for a while, pondering the mystery of life and deeper matters. Finally Conner heaves a sigh. "So… what do I do then?"

"Make sure you remember it next time." Kaldur advises, standing up. "But in the meantime… perhaps you could give her a gift of some kind?"

"Oh yeah." Conner nods. "I tried that nearly right away. Rick at school gave me some advice… we went out to the store and bought some iPhone thing for her. But…" Conner relapsed into gloom. "…she just threw it at the wall."

Kaldur nods, thinking hard. "Perhaps she desired a less conventional gift." He suggests. "M'gann has somewhat… dated interests, and after all, she has no use for phones. You should think on a more personal level. In fact, if you wanted to make it really personal, it could be a gift that you personally acquired, rather than simply bought."

"You mean like… crafts? A home-made apron or something?" asks Conner, looking a little puzzled.

Kaldur, lost in his own memories, simply nods. "Possibly. I recall once, I brought my intended Tula an enormous great black octopus from the…"

"Yeahhh… I don't think that'd quite work." Conner grins for the first time in the conversation and stands up. "Thanks anyway, though."

"Mm? Oh. Yes. Anytime." Kaldur, still seated, reaches up to shake the Kryptonian's hand. "Be sure to mention the anniversary when you see her next. Perhaps watch some of those old sitcoms to gain an idea of what she likes."

"Right." nods Conner, a determined look in his eye. "Thanks. I promise I'll get this figured out soon. I don't know why Cadmus didn't…"

Smiling, Aqualad holds up a hand to stop the clone. "Several hundred billion dollars and the finest scientific minds of the world," he tells Superboy, "would still be insufficient to explain the female mind."

A/N: Superboy is essentially a hyper-intelligent, incredibly powerful, three-week old baby. In all reality, he's the youngest one on the team, and should have some real maturity issues. Though on the plus side, I suppose puberty isn't such a shock.

Still, the show makes a point of showing how emotionally stunted he is at points, and it's interesting to speculate how this might affect his relationship with M'gann, who is actually the oldest member (she's what, like 50?). Miss Martian has plenty of issues of her own, which we'll be getting into in a little bit, but in the meantime, it's a rough job on Superboy, who has NO idea about his duties as boyfriend. Particularly duties that MM is probably getting from outdated sitcoms she watched on Mars.

Up next is Kid Flash.