Disclaimer: I own nothing involved in this story unless I invented it myself. This is written for fun, not for profit.
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh
Title: Unarmed and Extremely Dangerous: 4-5: Dice, Decks, and Derring-Do
Characters: Seto, Otogi
Word Count: chapter: 4,492||story: 17,597
Genre: Friendship, Drama, Humor||Rated: PG-13
Feedback: All forms eagerly accepted. Concrit is loved the most, but everything is welcome.
Summary: Caught up in a bank robbery, Seto and Otogi must deal with the robbers. Their only weapons are a deck of cards and a handful of dice. Luckily, that's all they're going to need.

"Abe, you and I are staying here." Oshiro gestured toward the rest of his gang, hot fury burning through his veins. "The rest of you, split up, find those two, and bring them back here." He knew he should put his gun down, or at least away. He didn't. The thought of those two rich boys getting out of the bank without his knowledge and perhaps bringing in a metric ton of cops seared his mind and set his temper boiling. They weren't going to get away with this. He wouldn't allow it.

"How'd they even get out without us seeing them?" Nakajima wondered. Oshiro snorted; it was too easy to see, now.

"That, and that." He gestured to the girls, who looked back at him without a moment's worth of shame or fear, and then jerked one thumb up to the roof, where the sound of the helicopter still echoed. If he hadn't been so distracted by his own issues of solving the entire mess this simple robbery'd become, he wouldn't have fallen for it. "They're probably on their way up to meet it, so get moving! I want them back here, now!"

Nakajima, Ito, Hara, and Miyake scattered through the nearest hallway, while Oshiro perched on the nearest table and stared at the hostages. I should shoot them now. At least the girls.No, not yet. Tempting as the thought was, they could be useful in the event of cops. Or even in the event of rich boys trying to come back and be heroes.

I should've locked those two up somewhere else. I bet the bank manager's got a cushy place with a door that can lock. It would've kept them from making any sneaky plans with the others, and he could've tied them up as well. Kaiba and his damned laptop. He'd never been able to get his head around using computers. That was why he planned his robbery the old fashioned way. Next time he saw that damned thing, he would smash it into the wall, no matter how tight the security on it was. Maybe find a hammer and break it like that. The look on Kaiba's rich-boy face would be worth it.

Oshiro drew in one breath after another and managed to get himself just a little calmer. If he lost it, then they were all done for. He'd planned this too long to let it end like this. Not because of a couple of rich boys who thought they were hot shit because of their fat bank accounts and good looks. No. Not for anything.

"You know, boss," Abe murmured from a few feet away, not taking his eyes off the hostages. Neither of them wanted these people to get any more ideas about doing anything out of line. "If we put a gun to a couple of these people, those girls maybe, we could probably get to the van and get out of here. Kaiba's not someone you want to screw with."

"Yeah, and the van probably has about twenty cops stashed in the back just waiting for us to try that." Oshiro snapped with a sharp shake of his head. "If not a dozen snipers waiting to blow our heads off if we step outside. No. We're taking the helicopter." He shifted a little, gaze flickering now between the hostages and the door. Could Kaiba somehow communicate with the cops out there? Was that why nothing was happening outside? The cops hadn't called him back since he'd tried to make his ransom demands. What did they know that he didn't? "And we're taking those two damned rich boys with us."

Abe glanced at him, concern written clear across his features. "We're what?"

"You heard me. After all this, I want a lot more than that!" He jerked one thumb at the bags of money and possessions gathered up from the bank and hostages. "I want to make them pay." He ground his teeth, fantasizing about how delicious it would be to make Kaiba hand over a few million yen in cash, after all the times the rich boy'd insisted that he would do no such thing. "I want to make them regret ever coming here today."

I wish I hadn't come here today. Otogi crouched behind a potted plant that he was almost certain was artificial and fingered his dice. Though in truth, he knew he was lying to himself. All of this was annoying, but at least it was an interesting kind of annoying. Not at all like being stuck in a line moving so slowly he thought it once moved backward.

He didn't know where Kaiba was. He didn't want to know, either. That was his own idea; if either of them knew where the other was and everything ended up pear-shaped, then they couldn't give away the other's location. What he knew was he could hear footsteps coming toward him. He was no master tracker, but he was almost certain there were two sets of them and there wouldn't be anyone else back here except himself, Kaiba, and the bank robbers.

He ran his fingers over the dice once again. Doing this was much harder than it looked, but he knew he could pull it off. It wasn't as if he had any options in the matter even if he couldn't.

He closed his eyes just for a second, concentrating all of his charm and wit. There was a lot of it to concentrate. The footsteps grew closer with every second, but by the time the red-masked and yellow-masked robbers rounded the corner ahead, he was ready. He rose to his feet, took up a casual stance leaning with one foot against the wall behind him, and flashed a warm and welcoming smile at the two bank robbers as they hurried down the corridor.

"What kept you? I've been waiting here a good ten minutes." On closer inspection, his 'warm and welcoming smile' bore a vague resemblance to a shark welcoming dinner. He thought that was fairly accurate all things considered.

Both of them stopped the moment they saw him. "You better just come with us, kid." The one in the red mask said, reaching for his gun. "Oshiro's pretty damned mad and if you know what's good for you, you won't put up a fight."

Otogi's grin only widened. "I guess I don't know what's good for me, then. Look, guys, have you really thought about this? I mean, all the way through? Do you really think you're going to get anything out of this?" He half-closed his eyes as he held himself in readiness. "Do you think you're going to get a fair cut of the money? Or do you think you're going to get dumped along the way and if you're lucky get left for the cops?"

The two exchanged a quick look before they turned back to him. "What are you trying to say?" Yellow Mask asked, his gun leveled toward Otogi still.

"I think I said it already. You guys are being played. Believe me, I know how to recognize it when I see it." Otogi poured all of his charm into his voice. "Oshiro gets you to do all the dirty work for him and once you're out of here and back to wherever your base is-if you get that far-, he either dumps you for the cops or puts a bullet in your brains. Then he can keep all the cash for himself."

He hated those ski masks; it was all but impossible to read more than the basic expressions behind them. But he thought what he said was sinking into them. He kept himself from smiling too obviously, though it wasn't easy. "I bet you never even thought about it, did you? That's the kind of person he wants. Someone who won't realize what's going on until it's too late."

Red Mask shook his head sharply. "No way. You don't know the first thing about Oshiro. He's not that kind of a guy. Why go to all this trouble just to kill us or let the cops get us?"

"Because that makes it easier for him to get away." Yellow Mask replied, his voice tight. Otogi held back his smirk; this was easier than he'd thought! "He dumps us and spends the rest of his life lounging on an island with some hot girl bringing him drinks all day."

"What the hell are you talking about, Hara?" The red-masked robber glared at his partner. "You really think after everything we've been through that Oshiro would do that to us?"

Hara shrugged, though he didn't take his eyes, or his gun, off Otogi. "Why not? I'd do it if I thought I could get away with it. Think about it, Miyake. That pile we've got looks like a lot, until you start splitting it up. Oshiro's as greedy as the rest of us. I'm not saying he's going to, just that it would make sense if he did."

Otogi kept himself as tense and alert as he could, ready to move at a moment's notice. He didn't care if they believed him or not; what he cared about was causing enough dissension so they wouldn't react until it was too late. "He's right. You guys are going to all of this trouble and what do you really think you'll get out of it? A long prison sentence if you're lucky. If you're not, the cops might let Kaiba have you." He grinned a lazy little grin. "Personally, I'd go for the prison sentence. Those end, sooner or later. Kaiba? Well, I hear he once built a theme park of death to deal with someone who beat him in a duel. One that cost millions of yen. Imagine what he'd do to someone who tried everything you guys have tried on him today."

He hadn't been around for Death-T, but he'd heard plenty about it from Yuugi, Honda, Anzu, and Jounouchi. Enough to give the flavor of truth to what he said at least.

Miyake twitched at that. "My cousin said something about that once a few years ago. He wanted to get invited to the opening, but he didn't make the cut." His gaze flickered between Hara and Otogi, then hardened suddenly. "You know, I don't care. I figure if Oshiro wants to kill us, he's a lot more likely to do it if we don't bring these two back than if we do. So let's go. Don't put up a fuss and it'll be all good for you."

Otogi sighed; this was about as good as he supposed it could get. He pushed himself away from the wall and strolled out a few steps outward, three dice held in the cup of one hand. "Maybe. But I think the real question is, do you know what's good for you?"

Miyake and Hara looked at one another before looking back at him. "Kid, you don't know what you're getting into. Oshiro might kill us but if you don't settle down, he will kill you."

Otogi wondered if he could pay them to stop calling him 'kid'. They couldn't be that much older than he was. First things first, though. "Take a step toward me and you'll see just what you're getting into. I don't think you're going to like it. And frankly, I don't give a damn what Oshiro thinks he can do."

He wasn't at all surprised when both of them stepped forward, one a bare half-step behind the other. He shook his head. "I told you so." Quick as a cat, he snapped his dice-holding hand forward, casting the three six-sided dice right at their faces. Both of them stumbled, more from surprise than anything else, but Otogi wasn't done yet. He backpedaled as fast as he could; he'd scouted the area before he chose his ambush spot and knew it was clear. There was also a corner not that far away and that was his next spot of choice.

"Come on, guys! We're not going to have any fun if you just sit there!" Without waiting, he darted around the corner, out of sight, and dropped another few dice. These, however, weren't six-sided. Otogi's friends called him the master of dice. Dice came in multiple shapes.

He didn't wait around for those two to turn the corner, though. The well-polished floors and the spherical dice would do his work for him for the precious few seconds to get to the third place he'd chosen: a common janitor's closet.

"Come on! You want to tell Oshiro that we let him get away?" Again footsteps, moving too fast for the owners to pay attention to what was going on under their feet, until it was too late. Until they stepped on the twenty-sided dice he'd dropped and skidded straight into the wall, one after the other.

You want to tell Oshiro that a twenty-three old just outsmarted you with some dice and a janitor's closet? Otogi peeked out of the closet in time to see both of them picking themselves up. Well, he'd had enough of this, he decided. They weren't any fun to play with since all they did was run around and smash into things. Besides, the less time he took with them, the better. He picked up a mop and strolled over to where they still tried to figure out how to get their feet on the ground.

"Game over, guys. You lose." And with that, he brought the stick end of the mop down hard on their heads in quick succession. Both of them slumped over; he doubted they'd stay out of it for more than five or ten minutes, but that was time enough to carry out the final phase of the plan, at least where they were concerned. Divesting them of their guns came next; he didn't want one or both of them to wake up unexpectedly and find out they still had them. Granted, he didn't want them to wake up unexpectedly at all. But gunless would be by far better than armed.

One by one he dragged them to the nearest office, yanked the cords off the curtains there, and tied them up as tightly as he could get the cords to fit.

Let's see, what else. Oh, right. Another trip to the janitor's closet provided what he needed next: cleaning rags that he stuffed into their mouths and duct tape that he wrapped all around it to make sure it stayed where it belonged. No one needed to hear them yelling for help, especially not all of their buddies. I bet that tastes horrible. Oh, well.

One more item remained: what to do with the guns themselves. Keeping them loaded and anywhere around his prisoners would be stupid and Otogi would never permit anyone to think that of him. Underestimate him, yes. Actually do something stupid, never. He unloaded both guns, buried the bullets in the soil of a potted plant, and tossed the guns themselves into the bank manager's private bathroom's toilet.

"Well, that should take care of everything." Brushing his hands off, Otogi headed off to see what Kaiba was up to with the other two.

"Do you think we did the right thing?" Maruyama Sayuri murmured, leaning over so only Miku could hear her. She really didn't like how the two remaining bank robbers kept staring at them all, especially the two of them.

Miku patted her on the shoulder. "Of course we did. What else were we going to do, just sit here? Besides, it worked, didn't it? Otogi-sama and Kaiba-sama got away and they'll bring help."

"I wish I could have your faith." Sayuri sighed and tilted her head back to stare up at the ceiling. "If they're going to, I wish they'd hurry up about it."

"You can't rush genius." Miku's hand dropped down to her deck holder, toying with the flap on it. Sayuri knew what she was thinking and shook her head.

"They're not duelists, Miku. They don't hold to all of that honor and respect."

Miku sighed, pulling her deck out and sorting through it, more for the comfort of the cards than anything else. "I still think I could do more to help them."

Sayuri wanted to shake her. Miku was a true duelist, solving every issue that came before her with her cards, or wanting to, at least. "Don't even think about it, Miku. Just don't think about it."

Blue-Eyes White Dragon glittered up at him, always the first card to come to his hand when he needed her there. Kaiba could hear the annoying voices of the two robbers as they came his way but ignored them for the moment. There was always someone getting in his way when he tried to do something. He'd had enough of it.

He opened his briefcase, but not to his laptop. He'd had this briefcase built to carry two things at all times. One was his laptop, a vital tool to keeping in touch with Mokuba and other people he needed to talk to once in a while. But when he unlatched it from the other side, something else equally important to his life revealed itself.

His duel disk.

Kaiba pulled it out and set it on his wrist, shuffling his deck out of habit before he set it into the correct slot. Almost everything was ready now. He tilted his head; yes, those two idiots were close enough. He'd studied the blueprints until he had a reasonable idea of how they would search for him and Otogi once they'd left and just as he'd suspected, they'd split up into pairs. Probably thinking that two could overpower one if they came across them.

Idiots. They should've stuck to a group. We'd be outnumbered no matter what then. This was why he didn't have idiots like them working for him. Acquiring a KaibaCorp paycheck meant one had to have some functioning intelligence.

He flicked out a card from the top of the deck and glanced at it. Oh, this was wonderful. Not the Blue-Eyes, but perhaps just a trifle better suited to the occasion.

The CEO waited until their footsteps paused outside the door of the room he was in. He held his drawn card in his hand, waiting for the precise moment he wanted.

"Think they're in there?"

"Might as well look."

Yes.

He didn't bother to say the name of his monster as he slapped it down onto the duel disk. That formality was for proper duels, not this. The only issue he had was that his monster formed up in front of him, denying him a full look at their faces.

"What the hell is that?" He couldn't identify them by their voices either, but so far as he was concerned, they were Idiot Number One and Idiot Number Two. Or perhaps Four and Five, given that the biggest idiot was the one in charge of this whole farce. Regardless, he tilted his head just enough to see them both backing up and staring.

"I think...it's a monster!" From the shrill tones, he suspected that one of them might well have just wet himself. Pathetic.

"Of course it is, you numbskulls." Kaiba sneered, stepping around so they could see him. He spared only a brief glance at his creation; a tall, reddish-brown haired armored warrior, whose armor bore an unmistakable resemblance to the Blue-Eyes White Dragon and whose face (what could be seen of it) resembled Kaiba himself. Which was only fit and proper, as this was Kaibaman. "Give up." He didn't offer them an 'or else'. They didn't have any other options in his opinion.

Two pairs of eyes looked at him, then at his monster, and back to him. He suspected they wondered which one was more dangerous. He knew the answer to that himself, of course. They would have to figure it out for themselves.

"Wait a second..." One of them fastened his attention onto Kaiba's arm. "That's just a Duel Monster! It's a hologram! He tricked us!"

"And you figured it out that fast, hm?" Kaiba wasn't impressed. Mokuba would've seen through it faster. For that matter, Jounouchi might well have.

Maybe.

The one who'd spoken, this one's face hidden behind the blue ski mask, scrambled to his feet and reached for his gun. As fast as he was, Kaiba was faster still, flicking a second card out from his deck and slamming it down in front of the trigger. He gave them no more time to think or plan, sweeping the feet out from under the one with the gun and sending him crashing into the other.

At least that was what he intended to do. The second one, Green Mask, dodged out of the way at the last second, backing up and heading toward the hallway. Kaiba bit off a curse fit to peel paint; the last thing he needed was for one of these idiots to get back to the lobby and warn everyone else of what was going on.

No help for it. He deactivated his duel disk, Kaibaman's hologram fading away, and headed down the hallway after closing and locking the door. If he were lucky, the one he'd taken down would have the sense to stay where he was until the police arrived. If not, he'd just have to take him down again.

For the moment, his attention was now on the one he tracked through the corridors, the one who must've been the genius of the bunch since he wasn't yelling the news of Kaiba being on his heels at the top of his lungs but rather saving his breath to run. Kaiba recalled the blueprints; the service corridors weren't as extensive as he would've liked at the moment and there weren't any convenient shortcuts that would allow him to get ahead of his target. He would have to do this the hard way.

Kaiba was very, very good at doing things the hard way. He picked up his pace, choosing a third card and glancing at it as he did. Always you, isn't it? Some might've been surprised to see the flicker of a smile across his lips. Others (such as Yuugi) would not have been. But a card such as this wasn't for filth like that. He tucked it away and drew the one after it. Much better.

His quarry slowed down a fraction of a pace as he came to a corner and turned it. That was all Kaiba needed. He flicked the card toward the other, watching as it shot forward with deadly speed and accuracy. When it came right down to it, cards were his weapon of choice and he was a grand master of using them no matter what.

As this robber found out when the card sliced into his cheek and he pitched to a halt, hand flying up and eyes widening when he saw a thin streak of blood on his fingers. "What the hell?"

"Never seen your own blood before?" Kaiba followed his question with a hard right to the face, sending the robber spinning into the wall. He dusted his fist off and picked up his card, carefully wiping away the small streaks from the side of it. "You're lucky this wasn't one of my better cards."

He tucked Saggi the Dark Clown away and turned back to the semi-conscious robber. Now he had to take care of this one and there weren't any convenient rooms here. No sense in leaving trash around where someone could trip over it.

"Hey!" Otogi's voice was just low enough so he couldn't be heard from more than a few feet away as he rounded the corner and hurried up. "Got 'em both?"

"Of course." He didn't bother asking about Otogi's prey. He wouldn't be here if they weren't taken care of. "I need to get him out of the way."

Otogi gestured the way he'd come from. "There's a room down that way you can stuff him in." He held up something in one hand. "And I have duct tape. That should keep him quiet."

Perfect. Perhaps he should've checked into becoming partners with Otogi a little sooner. The game designer was moderately useful.

Together they dragged the robber down to the room, which appeared used mostly for storage, and Otogi taped his wrists and ankles together, as well as slapping a long strip of it around the mouth, and disposed of his gun. Once done, the two checked out their handiwork.

"It will do." Kaiba declared. This was almost over; he would've sent a message to Mokuba informing him so, but he preferred to get all of his business out of the way first. There was always the slim chance that one of the remaining two would show something that vaguely resembled actual brains and that could slow them down.

Otogi nodded, tossing some of his dice in his hand as he did. "Ready to take on the last two?" He didn't bring up that those two had guns and hostages and were more than likely ready to use both of them after everything. He didn't need to.

Kaiba only smiled, a thin slash of shadow across his features. "Ready."

Oshiro couldn't keep his attention on the hostages. Every time he tried, his gaze stuttered back to the door the rest of his men had vanished through. Vanished through and hadn't come back yet and no word from any of them. I knew we should've had cell phones. He hadn't thought they would need them, not for the kind of job he'd expected.

Once this was over with, they were all getting phones, he decided, and they'd keep in touch if any of them needed to leave for anything. It didn't matter how much it cost. They could afford it after this job.

Abe kept his attention on the hostages, throwing especially sharp looks at the two girls as they whispered among themselves. If he had his way about things, Oshiro knew, they would all be out of here already and screw the ransom money.

Footsteps echoed down the hallway, sharp and demanding. Oshiro started to sit up, glad to hear his men returning. Before he could say a word, Abe's hand closed on his shoulder and he shook his head.

"That's not one of the guys. I don't know who it is, but it's not them."

Oshiro's eyes narrowed. One of the rich boys.They'd either gotten around the others or taken them out somehow. Didn't matter. They'd made the mistake of coming back instead of getting out while the getting was good. Now they were going to pay for it.

Silent as a shadow, he moved closer to the door, gun in hand, and waited for it to open.

To Be Continued