Unarmed and Extremely Dangerous

by Higuchimon

Caught up in a bank robbery, Seto and Otogi must deal with the robbers. Their only weapons are a deck of cards and a handful of dice. Luckily, that's all they're going to need.

5. Delay, Delay, Delay

Disclaimer: I own nothing involved in this story unless I invented it myself. This is written for fun, not for profit.
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh
Title: Unarmed and Extremely Dangerous: 5-5: Delay, Delay, Delay
Characters: Seto, Otogi
Word Count: chapter: 4,542||story: 22,139
Genre: Friendship, Drama, Humor||Rated: PG-13
Feedback: All forms eagerly accepted. Concrit is loved the most, but everything is welcome.
Note: There is a duel in this chapter. I didn't plan for it. It just appeared when I started to write the chapter and there wasn't any way to avoid it.
Summary: Caught up in a bank robbery, Seto and Otogi must deal with the robbers. Their only weapons are a deck of cards and a handful of dice. Luckily, that's all they're going to need.

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Kaiba stopped just outside the door and caught Otogi's attention, shaking his head. Otogi tilted his head back, lifting an eyebrow. He started to open his mouth to ask what was going on when Kaiba shook his head again and indicated the door leading to the lobby with a quick flick of ice-blue eyes. Otogi caught on to what he meant in a heartbeat.

Right. If we can hear them, they can hear us.With a bit of attention, Otogi could indeed hear people murmuring on the other side of the door, probably the remaining hostages. None of them sounded in the least bit happy and he couldn't blame them. His entire afternoon needed rearranging because of this.

He could almost see the thoughts flickering through Kaiba's eyes, then the other set his briefcase down on a small mahogany table, flicked open one side to access his laptop, and began to work once more. Images came up, a little grainy and in black and white, but clear enough so Otogi could make out what was going on. Several views appeared and it took him a few seconds to realize they were looking at the lobby on the other side of the door.

That security system of his.Otogi liked the idea of a secondary one only accessible to certain people. He'd have to do that for Black Crown. He hoped Kaiba wouldn't be offended by his 'inspiration'.

He turned his attention back to it, trying to see what Kaiba saw there. The hostages appeared in good shape, no one having been hurt or killed. Good. He'd worried about that a little, especially Maruyama and Endo.

The faintest hint of teeth grinding together sent his attention back to Kaiba, whose eyes bored into one spot on the screen. Otogi followed briefly and saw it this time: Oshiro stood right on the other side of the door they had not yet walked through, his gun pointed at roughly chest level. Bless Kaiba's paranoia.

Another few seconds of searching revealed the last of the robbers; this one had his attention trained on the hostages. Good; he'll probably give up once we take out Oshiro.Even if he didn't, they outnumbered him. This wouldn't be difficult.

Now to figure out what to do about what they knew. Otogi's lips twisted into a sudden smirk and he reached over to tap the pocket he'd seen Kaiba put his cell phone in. He leaned up just a little to murmur his idea into Kaiba's ear, imagining the look on Oshiro's face when the results of this turned up. He hoped he'd have a chance to get a picture. I could get it blown up and framed and hang it at the store. 'This is the last person who tried to get free money out of me.'

He leaned against the door and waited for Kaiba to take care of his part of the new plan, worked out without a single word being spoken where anyone inside the bank could hear anything. Oshiro, he suspected, was getting more and more nervous as each minute passed and no one came through the door. I bet they heard us coming. And then we didn't. They're on edge.He liked that. It made everything more dangerous and much less predictable.

Or in Otogi's personal language, much more fun.

Kaiba swung around the corner he'd disappeared around a few minutes earlier and nodded once. Everything's set. Let's do this.He gestured to Kaiba, who didn't hesitate for a moment. The brunet CEO leaned back and slammed his foot against the door as hard as he could, knocking it off the hinges and into Oshiro.

"You know, Kaiba, you really should fire whoever built this place for you. It falls apart if you give it a dirty look." Otogi drawled, strolling through the empty doorway a heartbeat after Kaiba. Kaiba didn't even favor him with a look for that.

Oshiro staggered back from the strike of the door, finger tightening on the trigger of his gun. Before anyone could make any moves to relieve him of it, a loud bang echoed and those who didn't turn to try to figure out where the bullet struck ducked down to make sure it didn't hit them.

Oh. My. Goodness. Otogi slowly grinned as Kaiba eyed the portrait on the far wall, now defaced by a large hole, before he turned back to face Oshiro, hand flashing out in a complicated maneuver Otogi didn't even try to follow. The robber's gun clattered to the ground, his eyes now round with surprise and confusion as he stared from the portrait of the bank's owner to Kaiba and back again.

"You are going to pay for that." Attempting to rob him had only mildly irritated Kaiba. This, however, was far more personal. "Literally. With your own money. Do you know how much a portrait sitting costs?"

Otogi saw something else moving out of the corner of one eye; he barely had time to register the last of the robbers before he stood there with a gun to his own head. I'm going to find out who I annoyed enough to make today possible and sacrifice something to appease them. I wonder if this idiot would be good enough.

"That's enough." Purple Mask, the robber who'd recognized Kaiba when all this started spoke up, keeping his gun set against Otogi's temple. So much for him surrendering once his leader was disposed of. "One more move by any of you and this guy's brains are all over the wall."

Given that Otogi liked his brains inside of his head, he sincerely hoped everyone paid attention to this guy. At least until everything else resolved. How much more time did they have? He wasn't even sure himself. Given the cold steel pressed against him, he decided it was 'not enough'.

"Oshiro, get your gun. We need to get everyone else and head up to that helicopter." The whirring of the copter wasn't audible any longer, but Otogi figured it was still on top of the building, unless Kaiba'd bothered to change that earlier. "Where'd you put everyone else?"

"Where they can't get into trouble." A gun to his head was no excuse not to act like himself in Otogi's opinion. It did, however, earn him a quick smack to the back of the head. "What? They are!"

"Shut up. We'll find them." One heavy hand landed on Otogi's shoulder and he was shoved over to where Oshiro now stood, his gun pointed directly at Kaiba's chest. Kaiba didn't move a muscle, only stared down at the other with the same distant contempt he'd shown since all of this began. "Still want to keep them for ransom, boss?"

Oshiro appeared to have recovered at least some of his mental balance after being disarmed and death glared by Kaiba. "Damned right, Abe. Might as well after everything we've had to deal with anyway."

"Everything you had to deal with?" Otogi rolled his eyes, not believing what he'd heard. He would've said more, but Abe tapped the gun barrel against his head and he decided discretion was the better part of valor for the moment.

"Something's going on outside!" One of the hostages spoke up, peering toward the door. "I think the cops are forming up or something!"

Abe and Oshiro stared at one another, equal looks of disbelief in their eyes. "This is not happening." Abe muttered in the tones of one who wished they'd just stayed home and watched soap operas. "What's next?"

"Excuse me, sir." Everyone looked as one of the two girls spoke up. It was the one with the dueling deck, which she now held in her hand and she looked directly at Abe as she spoke. "I'd like to challenge you to a duel."

In all of his life, Otogi didn't think he'd heard such utter silence. He wasn't even certain such silence could exist. Abe shook his head, though he didn't remove the gun from Otogi's. "You want to what?"

"I said, I'd like to challenge you to a duel." There wasn't a shred of hesitation in her voice. She reached into her backpack, moving carefully so as not to startle either of the armed men, and took out a duel disk. "The stakes are if you win, none of us will stop you from doing what you want. If I win, you'll let Kaiba-sama and Otogi-sama stay here and just leave."

Abe and Oshiro exchanged a speedy look and Oshiro began to shake his head. "Kid, you are crazy. Even if we said yes, how do you know Abe would keep his word? Or that I would? Seriously, why should he? You don't even know if he has a deck!"

Otogi hadn't seen many people in his life with the guts this girl showed as she stared at the two of them. "He does. I can see it in his jacket." She indicated the inside of his jacket with a quick tilt of her head. "And I know because a true duelist would not only accept a challenge, but he'd keep his word. Are you a coward, sir?"

Otogi caught a glimpse of something that might well have been approval in Kaiba's eyes. It was there only for a fraction of a second, but there nevertheless. "She's right, you know." That got him another tap upside the head and he rolled his eyes. If any of that bruised...well, he wasn't a duelist.

Oshiro and Abe glanced at one another again, and finally Abe shrugged and put his gun away. "Fine. This shouldn't take long and then we can get out of here." Oshiro nodded, grabbing Otogi by one arm and dragging him over to where Kaiba stood.

"You two sit here, play nice and quiet, and don't even think about helping her." The bank robber leader declared, his attention now divided between the door and the duel. "I figure this'll take Abe about two minutes. Whatever the cops are doing out there, we'll be long gone by the time they've done it."

"I'll go first." Abe had a duel disk of his own, though where he'd kept it until now Otogi didn't know. He glanced over at the young girl. "What's your name anyway, kid?"

"Endo Miku." She introduced herself with a bit of a nod, her first five cards in her hand. Otogi thought he saw a trace of sweat on her brow and didn't blame her.

"All right, let's get this over with. I summon Biofalcon!" In front of Abe a huge metallic bird appeared, spreading shimmering steel wings and crying out a defiant shriek. "I'll set three cards face-down and end my turn."

Miku drew her card and glanced at it, skin around her eyes tight and tense. "I summon Thunder Eel, in defense mode!" Green scales and golden lightning flashed into existence before her, the sleek creature curling up and glowering across the field. "Then I set one face-down and end my turn."

Otogi's eyes narrowed; Thunder Eel was weak in both attack and defense. Did she just not have any better cards at the moment? Or was it a ploy to draw him to attack so her face-down could defend her somehow? If it were Yuugi, he'd bet on the latter, but was she even close to being that talented?

"Thunder Eel?" Abe stared from it to her and shook his head. "Girl, you really need to learn how to duel right if you're going to do it at all. Let me show you how it's done. Trap, activate! Mind Hack! At the cost of five hundred life points, I can see your hand and your set card."

Images of the cards in her hand appeared before him and Otogi was in the perfect position to see his lip curl. "I'm going to guess you don't go to his dueling school." Abe jerked his head toward Kaiba before he glanced at her face-down, now revealed as Cursed Coffin.

He won't destroy it now. If he did, he'd have to either destroy a monster or discard a card. Otogi shook his head; that would've been a good move under most circumstances.

Abe wasn't done yet, though. "I summon Giga-Tech Wolf! Attack her Thunder Eel!" With the monster in defense mode, there wouldn't be any damage, but it cleared the way for his next attack: Biofalcon hitting her directly for seventeen hundred points of damage. Miku gritted her teeth and held her ground even as the metallic falcon resettled on his side of the field. "I set one card face-down and end my turn. Try to do better this time. You've got a couple of decent cards there, if you play them right."

Miku wiped her brow and reached for her next card, determined to focus on her duel, or so Otogi surmised. She risked a lot doing this, he knew, not the least of which was her own life if Oshiro decided to get funny with the guns. "I draw!" She'd barely had time to look at the card before Abe struck, pointing to the face-down he'd just set.

"I activate Drop Off! That card you just drew? Discard it right to the cemetery." Smug confidence rippled across Abe's face, clearly visible despite his mask, as he declared his trap's effect. Miku set her jaw and kept on playing.

"I summon Ceasarion!" This time what appeared before her was a huge sea snake, red as blood, hissing and drooling down at the much smaller falcon and wolf before Abe. At eighteen hundred attack points, it could have either of them for a late afternoon snack. "Ceasarion! Attack his Giga-Tech Wolf!"

Abe shook his head. "Good monster, but not good enough strategy. I activate Drain Shield! Your attack is stopped and I add the attack strength of your monster to my life points." In a moment they shot up to over five thousand and Miku's shoulders slumped, ending her turn with a quiet shake of her head.

Otogi held himself quiet, though he wanted to say something to encourage her. A duel was something one fought on one's own, and if she didn't have the courage to stand up no matter what, then nothing he said could help her. Yuugi and Jounouchi might not necessarily agree, but they weren't always right about everything anyway.

Abe didn't wait for her to get any more confidence. He glanced toward the door and whatever he saw there encouraged him to keep on dueling. "I activate Prohibited Chalice! At the cost of negating its effect until the end phase, my Biofalcon increases its attack strength by four hundred points!" He smiled, one not even close to as pleasant. "Of course, Biofalcon's effect doesn't make any difference on my turn, so I'm not losing anything. Biofalcon! Destroy that repulsive red snake of hers!"

An emerald-green chalice appeared over Biofalcon's beak and the metallic bird tilted its head back to swallow the shimmering violet liquid that poured from the cup down its throat. Bright wings spread as the creature grew at least a foot taller, then flapped once and shot across the field, fastening steel talons into Ceasarion's neck and rising upward several feet before dropping its prey. Another three hundred points dropped from Miku's life points, leaving her with only half her original four thousand and no defending monsters at all.

Slowly she drew her card. Otogi could see a difference almost at once as she looked from it to the cards in her hand. A slow smile touched her lips and she lifted her head. "Sir, I'm sure you remember my face-down Cursed Coffin. The one that activates when it's destroyed."

"That's right. But don't get your hopes up, I'm not going to destroy it." Abe folded his arms over his chest and stared her down.

Miku's smile widened. "That's all right, because if you won't, then I will!" She flipped her just-drawn card around in her hand. "I activate Storm, destroying my face-down Cursed Coffin, and for every one of my own spells or traps this destroys, I can destroy one of yours as well!" From the center of the card there swept a tornado, growing fiercer with each moment, which caught up her trap card and spun it around for a few seconds before the powerful winds reached across to the far side of the field and also captured his last face-down. Otogi caught a glimpse of the art for Cemetery Bomb and smiled. That would've delivered a hundred points of damage for every card in her cemetery if he'd activated it.

Wait a second... He reviewed what he knew about spells and traps and then glanced at Kaiba, one eyebrow up. Kaiba glanced back and nodded: Abe could have still activated Cemetery Bomb, but in seconds, it was too late. Still, he's got a huge advantage, even without the five hundred points more or less.

But Miku hadn't finished her turn yet. "When Cursed Coffin's destroyed, you either destroy one monster of yours or discard a card from your hand randomly. Which one is it going to be?"

Abe's grip tightened on the one card in his hand. Otogi couldn't see what it was from where he sat, but the duelist gestured to his Giga-Tech Wolf. "I'll destroy that."

With a pained howl, the metallic wolf exploded into sparkles. Miku didn't wait another moment. "I summon Fairy of the Fountain!" From that card there emerged a beautiful green-skinned and green-haired woman with featureless blue eyes, holding a vase of some kind in her hands. If Otogi'd met her in some primeval forest, he would've definitely tried to get her phone number, if she had one.

"She only has sixteen hundred attack points! Biofalcon outweighs her by a hundred." Abe's tone betrayed his displeasure at her move. For all that he was a criminal, Otogi thought he had at least some of the true pride of a duelist. "You're still not good enough, little girl."

Miku flicked around one more card in her hand: Dead Resurrection. "From my cemetery, I Special Summon Ceasarion!" Otogi thought he heard a bit of an extra edge to her tone as she declared her attack, the giant serpent against the steel falcon. Quick as thought, Ceasarion shot across to the creature that killed it before, wrapped around it tightly to hold it in place, and bit down on the back of the falcon's neck.

Abe could only stare in shock as Miku made her next move. "Fairy of the Fountain, attack him directly!" From the fairy's vase there burst a wild wash of water, knocking sixteen hundred of Abe's life points away and leaving him with a bare three thousand and six hundred. "I set one card and end my turn."

It took the bank robber turned duelist a few seconds to catch his breath after that, but he straightened up and drew a card. "You're not going to win this. I summon Mecha-Dog Marron, in defense mode! I also equip your Ceasarion with Paralyzing Potion, preventing it from attacking!" All around the monster there now appeared a glittering green bottle, sealing it from moving.

Not a bad move; her Fairy of the Fountain could still destroy the new monster, but they would both take a thousand points of damage from the mechanical dog's effect if she did. That would hurt Miku much more than Abe, sending her down to a thousand.

"My turn!" This time Miku's draw was Pot of Greed and with two more cards in her hand, the sudden light of victory burned in her eyes. "First I summon La Li-Oon!" A golden-eyed thundercloud appeared, bolts of lightning hovering about it. Abe stared at it before transferring his attention to her.

"You're kidding, right? That little nothing?"

She shook her head. "Not a bit of it. La Li-Oon is my favorite card and I'm going to finish this duel with him!" This time, she gestured to her set card. "But first, I activate Judgment of Thunder! When I summon a Thunder-type monster, I can destroy one card you control, and I choose Paralyzing Potion!" Light exploded all around Ceasarion as the bottle shattered. "I equip La L-Oon with Pike of the Guardian God! Now, Fairy of the Fountain, attack Mecha-Dog Marron!"

Swift as the rushing rivers, water poured forth from the fairy's vase once again, washing away the defending monster. Abe took one step back and shook his head. "For destroying Mecha-Dog Marron in battle, both of us take a thousand points of damage!" His life points plunged down to two thousand and six hundred, where hers were halved once again to a thousand. "And you still can't beat me! Your two monsters just don't have the strength!"

"We'll see about that. Ceasarion! Direct attack!" Again the serpent flashed forth, fangs biting into Abe's shoulder. Once it returned to Miku's side, she glanced at the floating cloud. "La Li-Oon! Now it's your turn!"

Abe stared at her, confusion writ large on his features. "I've still got eight hundred life and that cloud just has six hundred attack points."

"No." Miku lifted her head high and proud. "La Li-Oon's equipped with Pike of the Guardian God, which raises his attack by nine hundred points for every card in the cemetery with his same name." She smiled. "I suppose I should thank you. Because when you forced me to discard that card with Drop Off, it was my second La Li-Oon. So this one has fifteen hundred attack points! La Li-Oon! Do it!"

Otogi'd never before seen a cloud holding a pike, especially since the cloud didn't have hands at all. Lightning crashed from the depths of Li-Oon, then something not at all like a lightning bolt but far deadlier shot forward, piercing through Abe's last life points and wiping them out completely.

No sooner had the number on the duel disk reached zero but Oshiro darted forward and seized his partner by the collar, dragging him closer, furiously spitting his words out. "If you were going to play this stupid game, then why didn't you win? Why'd you lose to a teenager?"

If Abe had an answer, he didn't get a chance to say anything with how Oshiro shook him over and over. "Come on. We're heading for that helicopter." The leader's lip curled as he stared at Miku, then turned toward Otogi and Kaiba. "And we're taking you with us. I don't care about losing or not losing a duel."

"You mean you're a coward?" Miku snapped, glancing over her shoulder as her friend set a hand on her shoulder and murmured something about not insulting the nice men with guns, since she'd already done enough insane stunts for one day.

Oshiro only shrugged. "Maybe I am. But I'm also rich and I like that better. Come on."

Abe picked up his gun and grabbed Otogi's shoulder, shoving him along, as Oshiro did the same thing to Kaiba, each pushing their respective captive toward the doorway that led deeper into the building. Moments later, however, all four backed into the lobby once again.

"Hands in the air!" One of the cops who followed them in pointed his own weapon at the robbers. "It's all over!"

Oshiro and Abe exchanged glances, but before anything more could be said, even more cops stepped forward, and these held the rest of the gang, each one handcuffed and their masks gone. "I think it's over, boss." Abe turned his gun over to the nearest cop with an exhausted sigh. "And you know what? I don't give a damn anymore. This has been the worst job ever."

For a moment, everyone's eyes focused on Oshiro. His gun still pointed directly at Kaiba and the potential for everything to fall into a huge and bloody mess still filled the air. Then Oshiro sighed and flipped his gun around, handing it to the nearest cop. "You're right. Let's get this over with. At least jail should be peaceful."

The bank was a mess of former hostages and cops moving around one another for what felt like hours, getting all the various information necessary and making certain no one needed any kind of medical attention. Otogi brushed off help; he wanted to get his business taken care of here and then sort out what else to do with Kaiba and their meeting.

"Otogi-sama?" Miku and her friend sidled closer to him and she stared up at him with huge eyes. "You're all right, aren't you?"

"I'm fine." He glanced at both of them, hints of amusement twitching his lips. "You did very well with that duel. It kept them both here until the cops got in." He shrugged a little; that was one thing he'd been worried about when he'd first felt that cold muzzle against his temple.

"How did they know it was safe to come in anyway?" The other girl asked, peering over Miku's shoulder. "I didn't think they'd just come in with Kaiba-sama and you being held like that."

"Because Kaiba told them it was before we came back in here." Otogi couldn't help but be proud of that, given it was his idea to start with. "He told them to give us ten minutes to take care of the last two and sent the location of the back door so they could get in without being seen from the front."

Miku's eyes widened. "That's...incredible!" From the expression on her friend's face, the other teenager might have called it something else. Something on the order of 'stupid', perhaps.

"Otogi." Kaiba strode over to where the three of them stood, movements as brisk and determined as ever. "Are you done here? We have business to take care of."

"Right." Otogi's stomach rumbled, reminding him that Kaiba'd also invited him to dinner in order to get that business sorted out. He wasn't sure what time it was offhand anyway, but he knew he'd missed his lunch at least. Before he could say anything else on the matter, Kaiba's phone began ringing. The brunet glanced at the screen before answering, his features softening just enough for Otogi to guess who called.

"Mokuba. We're on the way home." Silence, or close enough. Otogi could hear Mokuba's voice on the other end, but not enough to make out what he was saying. Whatever it was, Kaiba's reply ended up being soaked in amusement. "If I'd known that, I would've taken another ten minutes. We'll be there soon."

Otogi tilted his head back and eyed him, one eyebrow creeping upward as Kaiba clicked the phone off. "Another ten minutes? Why?"

Kaiba smiled one of those smiles that tended to send small children running for their mothers. "Apparently Jounouchi bet on how long it took us to handle this. He lost to Yuugi and Mokuba. Now he owes Yuugi two hours of work at Kame Game and three hours yardwork at the mansion for Mokuba."

Otogi's grin matched Kaiba's. "What would fifteen minutes have lost him?" And next time something like this happened, he decided he'd call Jounouchi and place a few bets of his own.

The End