Disclaimer: Do not own. Credit to Suzanne Collins. Title from Kevin Devine.

"Me and my friends, we don't encourage discipline."

I didn't think we were friends.

I don't think we were friends.

I don't know what to think of her really.

He talked about her after every Games. He laughed every time he recounted something funny she said. He talked about how jealous the Capitol women were jealous of her long hair. He laughed even more when she cut into a short, spiky style to scare more people away. He said she was the closest thing to a friend he had at the Capitol. He stopped talking when he saw my emotionless face signaling I stopped responding to what he was saying. He didn't know this was my way of feeling envy.

He tried to make me feel better about her. He believed that one day we all could be friends. That one day we could visit each other as we pleased. We could laugh and remember the good stuff, the things we wanted to remember. He was sure even I would remember only the pleasant things, even if at night I was surrounded of memories of a faraway arena.

I would never believe in a million years that we are friends. However, that does not explain a note from my brother saying that she called (again) and that she was coming to District 4 tomorrow.

Of all the things that baffle me, Johanna Mason will always be top of the list. The rebellion has been over for a few years now. In those days after, we all attempted to find the "new normal." I was sent back to District 4 with an aide. Plutarch had told me there was new hospital was being built here, and Katniss' mother was going to help out. I felt grateful because Finnick had mentioned her mother was a healer, and perhaps I could trust her with the birth of our child. I did not realize I had another person looking after me.

I had only seen Johanna briefly during our stay at Thirteen. When I saw her again before the execution she looked like a shadow. I could not look at for long because it reminded me of our captivity at the Capitol. I hurt to look at her like that. I knew she was not a broken soul like me, but something stronger. That time though, she looked like she had seen a different hell and was trying to overcome it. She seemed to struggle to breathe almost.

We were sitting in a room, us and a few other victors, when she grabbed my hand. I was in a trance looking at the mahogany table and dreaming of Finnick. Her gesture took me by surprise. Johanna is never affectionate. At least; not that I had seen until that point.

"Annie, look at me." Her voice was shaky, but I knew she was trying to be stern. I heard her say my name a few more times until I looked at her bloodshot brown eyes.

"Finnick gave me a letter. He told me…he told me things he was afraid to tell you before he left." she said shakily. With a free hand she grabbed a torn piece of paper out of her pocket. On it was Finnick's handwriting with Johanna's name scribbled. She handed it to me to read. I stared at the letter for a bit. In a few minutes, her patience began to wear thin. She opened the letter and put it on the table to read.

"Just read it!" she semi-shouted. I did not notice if Enobaria or Beetee looked our way. I did not care. I only looked at her and watched her swallow. She was shaking slightly and it began to dawn on me that this was probably tough on her too. His death and whatever he had asked her was hurting her. With that knowledge, I let go of her and pressed my fingers along the letter, smoothing the edges. I put my head down and began to read the words Finnick had written to his best friend.

Dear Johanna,

If you reading this, I'm sorry because you will never see my handsome face again. I know how dreadful that will be. Alright kidding aside, I need your help. If I don't come back I need to you to help me. I need to you to help me protect Annie. She needs someone. Don't let Coin take back her word on letting you or Annie be granted immunity. As for how other things go, try to hide Annie. Don't let the Capitol get her again. They will ruin her. But I can't think like that. We will win, but I don't know the cost. I've given my soul for this country and I am willing to let it take my life if it means freedom for Annie. Please, Johanna I beg of you. See to it she gets back to District 4. See to it her brother takes care of her. Will you stay with a few days to help her get settled again? Sometimes she needs reminding what is real and what is not. Do that. Please always tell her that my love was real. Tell her my love is real. Don't let her know how alone she is. Make your presence known. She knows even if it doesn't seem like it. So if you could please, visit every so often? And maybe call her? Not every day, just often enough. I know she will be home one day. I just want her to know she has a friend looking after her, even if it can't be me. To calm her down always remind her nothing will get her. Make her drink tea. Rub her back sometimes. I know you'll hate doing it. It calms her down most of the time. Whatever it takes; please Johanna do this for me.

Your friend,

Finnick J. Odair

I don't remember how many times I read the words. I felt like I read them for hours on end. I was unsure of what they meant. Had Finnick known he was going to die? And why did he trust Johanna so much? Why? Why were all these things happening? I put both hands to my ears and covered them. I heard Johanna shhing me as the tears began. I did not even realize I was crying until she coaxed back into sitting right.

"He knew I'm good on my word." She said rubbing my back. She had started awkwardly patting me until she started making small circles on my back in an attempt to hush me. It was oddly beginning to make me feel calmer, though I was not sure if I felt calm.

I did not know what to feel. So instead I said what was on my mind.

"I'm pregnant."

Johanna's hand stopped on my back. I heard her intake of breath and the unsteady exhale.

"You are?" she asked in disbelief. In truth, I was not sure. I was sleeping more than usual. This would seem uncommon for me as I usually was up all hours of the night. Now I slept for ages. I was also several days late. I remember in school, years before my Reaping, girls talking about silly things like that and what it meant. I knew what it meant. I knew I was at least two weeks late. Though I had not seen anyone yet, something about me felt different. Somehow, I knew I was. I looked at Johanna's horrified expression and nodded. She bit her lip and smirked at me.

"Then I guess I have my work cut out for." She said simply. After that more victors shuffled in. Haymitch first, followed shortly by Peeta. Katniss came last and we held the vote for the next Hunger Games.

The details after that vote are fuzzy. I knew Katniss had down something drastic. No one told me much until months later when she was home. I knew Peeta had lingered for a while before making his way back to Twelve. But Johanna stayed with me. We both went to the hospital to get our final check-ups. My pregnancy was confirmed. Johanna was with me when the doctor told me. She smiled and told me to name it after her.

And I did. Well, sort of. I had a little boy all those months later. Johanna was there with me throughout the whole birth. When he opened his eyes I could see Finnick's green eyes. He stared up at me the way I used to look up to Finnick. Strangely enough, it comforted me. It felt as though I really did have a part of Finnick back. I looked at Johanna and told her his name.

Jonah. It was Finnick's middle name. It also sounded a bit like Johanna too. Who knows. Maybe it doesn't. Johanna liked it enough. I liked it enough. I know Finnick would have been thrilled. He would love anything to do with Jonah. As I sit now by the window remembering, I see him playing on the floor. I am not sad right now. The things I long for I cannot have, but I have what I need when I see my son. Knowing this fact, I smile for the first time in a few days.

"Jonah," I call. "Aunt Jojo is coming tomorrow." At the sound of "Aunt Jojo" he perks up and runs toward me squealing. He loves her. I can tell she tries hard to be pleasant around him. I know she enjoys him as I always catch her smiling at him or sneaking him toys. He softens her up. I think she likes that he does that. Even if she won't admit it.

I keep smiling as I cradle my little boy in my arms. I tell him about Johanna's visit tomorrow. He tells me all the fun things we can do with her. He asks about his father about when he will visit. I tell him again how loved he is. I tell him how much his father loved him. I tell him how much his father loved me. I tell him about how much his father loved her. I tell him how he loved all of us. I tell him how much he still loves us.

I tell him he will never be alone.