"God, I thought those credits would never end!" Castle complained. He looked himself over, pleased that he was not a cartoon character. Instead, he wore a brown leather vest and dark slacks, along with a a grand cloak made of some animal he had never seen before in his life. His left hand rested on the pommel of the two-handed sword that was secured to his side, and he knew without a doubt he could use it quite well. "What the hell was up with that clockwork map, anyway?"

"Castle,do you really want to discuss the map?" Beckett asked. She was lounging on a massive wooden bed, her legs curled under her as she ran her bare hand over the fur pelts that made up the covers. She wore a simple yet elegant dress that hinted at the form that lay beneath. Her hair was just as long as it had been when she had been a Disney princess, but there was was nothing quite as soft about her as there had been then. There was a grit to her, a coarseness that came from hard living, even in the lap of luxury. It didn't take away from her attractiveness... instead it seemed to only enhanced her beauty...as if adding a few imperfections only highlighted her wonderful graces.

"Uh...no," Castle said, slowly removed his belt and scabbard. The room was a good size, probably quite large for the keep they found themselves in. A few wooden chairs were about, covered in muted red pillows, and a roaring fire kept away the cold that threatened to chill them (after all, winter was coming). The bed had a grand canopy, and about it hung two grand banners, one with the image of a castle in silhouette, the other a bear's head.

Beckett slowly began to slink away from him, a coy smile on her face. "And what do you want to do then?"

"I think you know," Castle murmured, knees bumping into the bed as he shed his shirt.

"Tell me," Beckett practically purred.

"I believe the term I am looking for is...get medieval."

Beckett laughed lightly, scurry away as Castle pounced, the bed bouncing as he hurried towards her, catching her bare ankles and dragging her closer to him. She playfully tried to bat him away, giggling as he reeled her in, panting slightly when she felt his weight settle onto her. "God, I have been waiting so long for this..."

"Yeah...let's not wait for a freaking tea cup to come bouncing in here complaining about no no words." Castle reached down, tugging at the neckline of Beckett's dress, groaning with glee as it began to tear away.

"My queen, I-"Esposito called out as he entered the bedchamber, only to stop short, eyes wide in shock. "By the Seven gods!"

"Damn it!" Beckett roared in frustration.

"Guards! Guards!" Esposito shouted, Ryan and Dr. Josh rushing in, all three dressed in fine knight's armor. They stared at the scene, gaping for a moment, before drawing their swords and moving in on the two.

"Guys, what the hell?" Castle complained, holding up his hands but keeping himself in front of Beckett, who was covering her now nude form with a fur blanket. "Can't you let your king have a little fun with his queen?"

"We would," Ryan spat, "if the king were here."

"Wait...I'm not the king?" Castle asked.

"No, you are not."

"Great, we are adulterers in this show," Beckett muttered.

"You'll both have your heads on pikes for this!" Josh declared. "This is just sick!"

"Hey! I understand you being made about me have sex with another man's wife, but there is nothing sick about it!" Castle complained.

Esposito frowned, jabbing his sword as Castle's naked tummy. "It is when that woman is your sister."

"WHAT?" Beckett and Castle shouted.

Ryan nodded. "How dare you deflower your 13 year old sister."

"13?" Beckett squealed, her hands going to her mouth as she heard the little girl voice suddenly coming out of her mouth.

Castle slowly leaned towards her, pulling the blanket away to stare at her chest...or lack thereof.

"...NOOOOO!"

What felt like three hours later, Beckett and Castle were in the black room, Beckett her proper age and Castle finally having stopped screaming.

"Ok, who the hell would watch a show that twisted?" Beckett demanded. "Seriously...that was just sick!"

"I forgot that George R. R. Martin has a thing for writing about incest and pedophiles, ok?" Castle said bitterly.

"I am picking the next one, ok?" Beckett said sternly. "I thought it up while you were mourning the loss of my boobs." Castle whimpered at the thought again. "I want us to be powerful, so no one can keep us apart, but in the modern age...and I want us fighting crime again...I like taking down bad guys."

"So what...like Law and Order or something?" Castle questioned.

Beckett smirked as they began to fade. "No Castle...don't even think TV show...think more...in brightest day...in blackest night..."

Next Time: The Caskett League of America