Author's Note: This chapter is brought to you by the letter I, as in I have never seen a full episode of Doctor Who.

Castle groaned as he found himself suddenly on the bridge ('Bridge? is that what it is called?' he thought. 'It's not the deck of the friggin...no, don't think about another show, might cause more problems') of the TARDIS. He quickly walked over to one of the control panels, inspecting himself in the shiny surface. He looked exactly the same, which was a relief. No ink or strange body parts. He was dressed in a blue dress shirt and black slacks, much like he might wear when on a case with Beckett ('of course, technically speaking that wasn't real...we were forced to play those roles by some idiots that don't know when to stop worrying about the Moonlighting Curse').

"Well, that's bloody good, isn't it?" Castle frowned, staring at his mouth as he began to speak again. "Bloody...sodding...knickers...hell, I'm British again."

He shrugged at this revelation, unable to be truly that upset. He'd figured as much as soon as he'd found himself in the TARDIS, and besides, it would make his James Bond impressions so much cooler ('note to self, remember to convince Beckett to let us try out James Bond'). He began to walk around the controls, wanting to play with them but not wanting to send him and the Police Box hurtling into a sun or something. Instead, he began to look at what he had in his pockets, hoping he had some sort of cool new Iphone in this reality.

But as he turned up nothing, something began to dawn on him. He wasn't wearing anything outlandish...he didn't have any cool gadgets like a sonic screwdriver on him...

"Bloody hell, I'm a companion!" Castle stomped his foot in frustration.

"That you are, luv," Beckett said, entering the control room. She was wearing a long brown coat and a gray blouse, a pair of lavander tinted glasses upon her eyes and a long purple silk scarf wrapped around her neck. "Looking for this?" she asked, pulling out the sonic screwdriver and wiggling it.

"No!" Castle complained.

"Yup," Beckett said cheekily. "I'm the Doctor...being the Doctor's cool."

"This is so not fair!" Castle complained. "You get to be the bloody Time Lord and I am a measly human? Can we go back to the DC world, I can handle you being gay if it means I get a soddin' power ring."

"Sorry, luv." Beckett walked up to him, drawing his head towards hers. "How about I give you a nice prezzie, huh?"

"Is it the sonic screwdriver?" he asked.

Beckett grinned, leaning closer to him and giving him a kiss that made his toes curl in his suede shoes. "What ya think of that?"

"...is it too late to get the sonic screwdriver?" Castle asked, dodging the smacks Beckett rained down on him. "Kidding, kidding!" He ran his hands along her hips, fingers slowly slipping under her shirt. "I think it is time we got all wibbly wobbly..."

Beckett flashes him a wolfish smile. "Just close your eyes and think of England."

"Wait!"

Beckett and Castle turned, glaring at Roy Montgomery. "WHAT!" they both shouted.

"I am your child from the future! If you do this now it will..."

"You are black...you can't be our kid," Beckett pointed out.

"Uh...weeping angels...uh..."

Beckett rolled her eyes, watching as, thankfully, a rift in time sucked Roy up. "Now then..."

"Exterminate!" A Dalek (who sounded like Ryan if he was singing bad jazz while sucking down helium) shouted.

Castle sighed, grabbing the screwdriver and shooting the Dalek, sending it too into the rift. "There, that...uh oh"

"Bloody hell!" Beckett snapped, realizing she had been shot. She crumpled to the ground, her body beginning to glow. "Ow...regeneration hurts!"

"Well, just hold on and-" Castle didn't get to finished, as he was blinded by a flash of light as Beckett regenerated...

"Ok, I'm better. Now back to business!" The Doctor said, reaching for Castle's belt.

"ALEXIS!" he screamed, staring at his daughter, who was now in Beckett's place. "Get me out, get me out!"

"Get you off? Sure thing, luv!" Alexis said, licking her lips.

"OUT, OUT!" Castle screamed.

"Mmm, kinky. Ok, out we go," Alexis said with a saucy wink.

Castle began letting out a high pitch squeal when Alexis shoved her hand down his pants. "I need an adult! I need an adult!"

"I am an adult," Alexis said, using her free hand to rip off her shirt. "See?"

"OUT OUT OUT!" Castle screamed.

"Are you ok now?" Beckett asked. Castle was still hugging his knees, rocking back and forth.

"What is with the British and incest?" Castle demanded.

"I think it has something to do with the blood pudding," Beckett quipped. "Ok...so that failed. We need to put some thought into this next one...I am getting tired of jumping around."

Castle nodded. "Yeah...we need to make a plan and not shout things like "Let's try How I Met Your Mother" and-"

Next Time: How I Met Your Beckett