Hello faithful readers new and old,
First off I would like to thank all of you that have been with me since my early works and comment on my improvement as a writer it means a lot. And for those of you that are new I love each and every one of you with my heart from the most detailed reviewers to the "UPDATE NOW OR ELSE I'LL DIIIIIIIE" reviewers lol. You all have a special place in my heart. Even those of you that don't review and just faithfully read my stories from the bottom of my heart Thank you! It's sites like this and people like you that make me feel like maybe one day I can be a great novelists :)
Okay sappy rant over.
My computer was out of commission and we almost had to part from one another, but I bought a new hard drive and battery and we are back in business. Chapter 17 will soon be in production so bear with me!
RxExR
Chapter 16: Blind
I haven't seen Natsume in over a week. He stopped coming into Imai's and even Ruka doesn't know where he is. His phone has been turned off so Hotaru can't track him through GPS. Sumire's been in a foul mood and his other groupies have been hanging out in the bar for hours on end. His disappearance has started a whole new slew of rumors; everything ranging from a private wedding in the Caribbean with his mysterious brunette to apartment hunting in New York City for his post-graduation ascension into his family's multibillion dollar business industry. These girls are more than ridiculous when their imaginations start to spiral out of control.
As for me, I've been getting on with my life. As for the kiss and all things it might have implied, I take Natsume's absence as rendering it null and void. As far as I'm concerned it never happened and Natsume Hyuuga does not exist.
My heart on the other hand knows that that is a load of fertilizer. Whenever I catch my thoughts drifting back to that night, my heart starts fluttering like a frightened baby bird. He stared at me for a long moment with our lips hovering close to each other, his soft breaths trickling across my face. After that he just picked up his gun and left looking frustrated. I locked my door and went to bed without a sound.
I woke up the next morning with congestion that took a heavy dose of medicine and three cups of tea to break up. I made Youichi a big breakfast out of guilt because who knows how much he actually heard that night. He went about his daily routine as silently as ever and ate his breakfast while I got ready for work.
The rest of the week followed in the exact same manner: up at six, wake Youichi, get him ready for school, make breakfast, get ready for work, eat, ride with Youichi to school, hug him goodbye, and then it's off to work. I kept tissues and my cold medicine on me at all times and a little bottle of disinfectant. I smiled extra big and held in my coughs as I went about my work. Hotaru almost didn't let me come back, but I promised her extra precaution and told her I needed to work. And aside from a few sniffles and a cough, my cold was actually much better.
Just in time for my meeting with Sato Akira today too.
I took an extra dose of medicine and drank several cups of tea last night and woke up this morning feeling perfectly myself. I washed and pressed my uniform last night so getting ready this morning I felt like a well-oiled machine. I push all the Natsume talk, gossip, and rumors out of my mind and go about my work with trademark cheerfulness. My meeting with Akira is at five o' clock sharp which gives me an hour to get home with Youichi, change into something maternal and prepare snacks and drinks.
At a quarter to four I'm beginning to feel a little nervous. Serina couldn't stress enough how tough this guy is supposed to be. Misaki covers my last tables so I can get my things and wait for Grant outside. I watch the minutes tick by on my cell phone screen. Precisely at four Grant pulls up in his black town car. I jump into the backseat and hound Youichi with questions all the way home. He has his name, address, backstory, and behaviors memorized. I'm probably annoying him, but my nerves just keep my mouth moving. When we finally get home it's more of the same, I run around like a crazy woman making rice balls and iced tea, changing my outfit several times and making sure that everything is clean and pristine.
At five o' five my intercom buzzes announcing Mr. Sato's presence. I smooth down my skirt and fluff my hair. I buzz him in and wait the several painful minutes as he makes his way up the stairs. Youichi stands next to me in a pair of denim jeans, his new sneakers and a black polo. I open the door for Mr. Sato and greet him with a smile welcoming him into our home.
Sato Akira is a middle aged man whose hairline is already receding. He wears a suit to look formal, but the coat hangs open revealing a dark brown sweater to make it a little more casual. I offer him a seat on the couch and go to retrieve the snacks and beverages, but he declines. Sato Akira can't be bought apparently. He places his briefcase on the coffee table and takes out his notepad and pen. He scribbles some things down looking at Youichi who sits beside him. I take a seat on one of the stools and cross my legs. He takes in my outfit through his round spectacles: a knee length black skirt, a white blouse, and white doll flats. I let my hair down and straightened it like crazy and topped it off with a white headband. A very classy look if I do say so myself, but Mr. Sato just scribbles.
"I apologize," He says, "My mind takes notes almost immediately and I just have to write them all down before I forget. Case number 91106413-12: Mikan Yukihara and Youichi Hiriji."
Hearing my real name gives me a weird feeling like it's the magic words to my undoing.
"Eighteen years old, currently working two jobs under the same employer Imai Industries, you recently opened a bank account with a substantial amount of money, and then proceeded to spend that money on yourself and your dwelling."
"Uh-" I begin to tell him that I bought stuff for Youichi as well, but he cuts me off.
"That wasn't a question Miss Yukihara. I was merely going over your recently acquired case notes."
"Oh."
"I see Youichi is doing quite well in school. He's enrolled in Alice Academy on a full scholarship. Impressive."
"Than-" I begin again.
"If you don't mind I will do my rounds. I check the dwelling for basic requirements and make my report. Nothing to worry about of course."
Without a word he stands up from the couch and looks around the living room. I finally bought a small flat screen television for the living room and bought two more paintings for the walls making the room complete. He jots some things down and walks into the kitchen opening the refrigerator and all of the drawers and cabinets. He goes into the bathroom and I can hear the shower curtain moving, the faucets being turned on and off. He opens the medicine cabinet and finally makes his way into the bedroom. More drawers opening and closing and he even opens the window. He finally returns to the living room and sits on the couch, still scribbling.
"Now Miss Yukihara-"
It's my turn to interrupt, "Please call me Mikan."
"Alright Mikan, tell me about yourself." He says crossing his legs.
"Excuse me?"
"Tell me something about you that I'm not going to read in a file." He clarifies adjusting his glasses.
"Um-"
"For example I already know you're a pretty good student and a remarkable young woman taking on this feat, but I can read on and on about you and not really know you. For example, do you have a boyfriend?"
"No I don't."
"What's your best friend's name?"
"Hotaru Imai." I say without thinking.
"The daughter of business tycoon Kenji Imai and fashion icon Mizuki Imai is your best friend?"
I just nod. I've really stepped in it this time.
"I hear Ms. Imai is quite the genius. She has inventions in almost every field. She's doubled her family's net worth and she's only eighteen years old. I didn't think she had time for friends."
"Hotaru's complicated." I shrug.
"You don't have to lie Mikan. It looks poorly on you."
"I'm not lying. Hotaru Imai is my best friend." I protest.
"Very well then. Call her." He says folding his hands together.
"What?"
"If she's your friend, you should have her phone number, right? Then call her."
I hesitate, but pull my cell phone from my pocket. I hit speed dial for Hotaru's cell and before I can put it to my ear he tells me to put it on speaker. I really hope she doesn't pick up.
Rrrrring
Don't pick up.
Rrrring.
Don't pick up.
Rrrring-
"What is it now Mikan?" She answers blankly.
"Sorry to bother you at work Hotaru, but I seem to have put you in the middle of something." I say sheepishly.
She sighs over the phone, "What moronic thing did you do now?"
"Ms. Imai, this is Akira Sato. Might I say, it iss a pleasure to hear your voice."
My super uptight case worker is actually smiling. Possibly one of the fans Ruka told me about? Shudder at the thought.
"And why should that matter to me?" Hotaru asks as if the conversation is already tiresome.
"Well I'm a case worker for Ms. Mikan and she called you out as her best friend."
"Best friend?"
Oh God.
"I'm sure as her employer she thought she could just call a name at random and I wouldn't check. I simply had her call you to show that I'm completely serious with my questions."
"What I'm hearing is that you are wasting my time, minutes, and breath on a stupid phone call for absolute nonsense."
"I apologize Ms. Imai, I'm sure you are really busy-"
"How would you possibly know that? One can assume that I'm busy, but only my best friend would know for sure if I'm working or not. So the next time the moronic urge takes hold of your body to have me called Mr. Sato, please check with my best friend before doing so. Mikan tell Mr. Sato I'm busy."
"Hotaru's busy." I repeat.
"Good. Mikan my mother wants you over for dinner. Seven pm sharp. See to it that Mr. Sato doesn't keep you long. I'm hanging up now."
Click.
There's an awkward silence as I put my phone back in my pocket. I try not to smile as he scribbles something down. Hotaru is my best friend if our weird friendship is any proof. Mr. Sato adjusts his glasses to cover his embarrassment and clears his throat.
"What about you Youichi? Who is your best friend?" He asks turning to Youichi.
"Aoi." Youichi responds.
"Aoi?" He repeats skeptically.
"Aoi Hyuuga." Youichi clarifies.
"Aoi Hyuuga? You two certainly have some important friends." He comments scribbling again, "What is Aoi like?"
"She's stupid and cries a lot, but she runs fast and laughs a lot too." He responds.
Mr. Sato arches an eyebrow, "And that makes her your best friend?"
"She sticks to me all the time and I have to help her a lot, so yeah."
"Hmm interesting." Mr. Sato says, "Do you like school Youichi?"
"I guess."
"You do or you don't?"
"It's alright."
"What's your favorite subject?"
"Soccer."
"Soccer's not really a subject is it?"
"Why are you asking stupid questions?" Youichi asks not being able to hold in his annoyance anymore.
I laugh very loud to cover the awkward pause and tension, "Youichi's quite a card. He's not use to people making him talk so much."
More scribbling, "I see."
Youichi shots me a look that tells me that he doesn't like this guy. I give him a slight nod to show that I agree. I keep smoothing down my skirt against my thighs. When will this interrogation be over?
"So Mikan-chan, what are your plans for the future?"
"My plans?"
"Where do you see yourself in five years?" He specifies.
Oh God.
Is that really a factor here? I mean the world can end tomorrow. Shouldn't where I am now be enough? In five years I'll be twenty three probably still working at Imai's. Youichi will be ten years old still in elementary school at Alice Academy. He'll probably have friends and ask me to let him go on school trips and to the movies. I should probably move into a better place: maybe a two bedroom apartment or maybe even a small house. Mr. Sato probably wants to see ambition in a perspective parent, but I just want to be on my feet before I uproot my life again. I'm still indebted to Hotaru and I still need to make sure I can stay on top of my bills before I dive head first into a bigger apartment or a mortgage payment.
"I see myself right here Mr. Sato. Living comfortably and providing a stable life for Youichi and myself. I see myself taking him to the beach on vacation and to winter festivals and giving him all of the things that we never got to have like."
"Why should I place this boy in your care? Certainly a girl of your age should be out having fun and not killing herself to provide for a child."
"Most girls my age don't know what responsibility is. Most of them can't even think past their own face. I was forced to grow up too fast and instead of dwelling on what I lost and what I should be doing at this time in my life, I think about all that I've gained and the kind of person I want to be. My life was crappy, but it's not too late to do something important with it."
"And what about a career and a husband? Kids of your own?"
"Youichi is the most important person in my life right now. And if someone loves me enough to love him and come into our lives with the best intentions, how can I say no? But right now I'm not concerned with those things."
"Why are you doing this Miss Yukihara? How did you end up here?"
The expression on his face is serious because the answer to that question is not in any file. Part of me knew this question would come up. If they researched me as thoroughly as I knew they would they would know that I'm miles from home and a high school dropout. I take a deep breath and manage a tight lipped smile.
"My life before I came here was dangerous and unpredictable. I'd been thinking about leaving for a while because I'm eighteen and legally I belong to no one so no one can come after me even if they wanted to. Youichi is young and fragile and has had nothing but hardships. I couldn't leave him behind. What I wanted more than anything was to give him something to be happy about: for him to smile and play and live a life where you're not wondering if you're going to live or die. I need to adopt him so that I can guarantee that no one can take him from me."
He scribbled something down on his notebook and sighed, "Well Miss Mikan you appear to be quite resolved about this."
"I am."
He closes his notebook, "Well my notes are as follows: the dwelling is adequate and within safety protocol, the child has his own bed and space, you appear to be mentally stable, the child seems safe and comfortable. I am recommending that Youichi sees our child psychologist. If you're life style was indeed terrible, then we have to accurately assess whether or not the child is mentally disturbed."
I just nod as Mr. Sato collects his things, "Don't be discouraged, I was expecting a complete disaster, but you're quite the young woman as Serina claimed."
I smile.
"But, we still have two more visits to get through before anything becomes official."
"Of course." I say walking him to the door.
"I shall set up Youichi's appointment and call you with the details. Serina will keep you up to date on your progress. Good evening."
I close the door behind him and lean against the solid wood. Youichi stares at me from the couch and I grin at him. I let out a squeal and tackle Youichi into the couch.
"We passed!" I squeal.
"Get off me crazy." Youichi huffs.
I stand up from the couch and dance around the room, stuffing my face with rice balls. I feel like someone has cut me out of a corset that was pulled too tight. One of the toughest social workers just walked out of my apartment without setting my soul on fire. He's actually made me feel assured in something that I've known for a while: I'm okay. I'm not rolling in money or on the fast track to a great career, but I'm standing on my own two feet. I kiss Youichi's cheeks, smearing them with bits of rice. He looks disgusted and marches off to the bathroom, but I know he's happy on the inside. We've watched dramas where children end up in the system due to their subpar home life and group homes did not look fun.
I clean up the coffee table and reset the center pieces. I call Grant to pick us up to take us by the Imai's for dinner at a half past six. I run a brush through my hair and retrieve my pea coat from the bedroom closet. Youichi is already dressed in his coat and hat ready to head downstairs and wait for Grant.
As we slide into the backseat of the town car, I can't help but feel warm and tingly all over. I'm one step closer to absolute security when it comes to Youichi so that no matter where I go he will always be beside me until the day I let him go off into the world on his own. Whether it be off to college or to America to study of even to Tokyo to start his own life. It excites and saddens me to think that someday he'll be walking away from me like that first day at Alice Academy, but when that day comes I'll know that I've done the job that I assigned myself when I said those two words to him the day I changed our lives.
But that day is far off, with Youichi sitting next to me tucked underneath my arm, I know that even though the future is looming it is still far off. I still have a lot more first days, last days, spring breaks, summer breaks, final exam cram sessions, and a graduation to get through.
And surprisingly, I can't wait.
Dinner at the Imai house is in the same dining room where we had lunch a few weeks prior except this time the entire room is plagued with something wedding related: rolls of fabric, several flower arrangements, stacks of different types of paper for invitations, and chairs of various colors and styles. When the maid shows us into the dining room, the chaos catches me of guard, but everyone sits around the table like it's not even there. I maneuver Youichi and myself through the fabric and chairs. We bow and I help Youichi into his seat before taking my own.
Hotaru's father at first glance is the obvious source of Hotaru and Subaru's iciness, that is until he laughs at a comment his wife makes about the out of control wedding planning. His laugh is hearty and deep, resonating in his chest in a Santa Clause-like fashion. The way he looks at his wife from across the table reminds me of Tsubasa and Misaki. I guess all people in love look the same especially when it's with the right person. Hotaru has no idea how lucky she is. I know her life is not as charmed as it may be on the surface. Being a genius, everyone has expectations of her and she works hard to meet and even exceed those expectations. Like me, she doesn't trust people, but whereas I don't trust people because of the harm they might bring to my new fragile life, she doesn't trust people because she doesn't know who is coming to leech off of her success.
Looking at her now from across the table I can't believe she's friends with someone like me, we couldn't be more different, but I guess that's the beautiful thing about friendship.
We eat a delicious Italian themed dinner. I stuff my face with so much baked ziti I thought I might explode. Youichi and I drink milk while the rest of the family has wine with their dinner. Mizuki's cheeks are starting to get a little pink as she starts on her fourth glass.
"What an amazing dinner! That chef of yours has really out done himself dear." She says giggling.
"Well he's the only one who survived your extensive interview process honey." Her husband replies.
Mizuki hiccups, "Oh yeah! I think I made that French girl cry."
Mizuki laughs at her memory and polishes off the rest of her wine glass. Hotaru rolls her eyes while sipping from her own wine glass. I'm guessing inebriation is not a state I will ever see her indulge in which is just fine with me. The thought of Hotaru being flushed and giggly like her mother disturbs me.
"Mother I think you've had enough." Subaru states as he dabs his mouth with his handkerchief.
Mizuki narrows her eyes, "I'll let you know when I've had enough Mr. 'the tablecloths can't be made of the same material as the napkins'. Your wedding is right around the corner and I want to tear my hair out."
"You're the one who wanted a big wedding. Shizune and I were perfectly fine with filling out an application at the government office."
"You are an Imai, Subaru. You have to have a wedding. Plus that sounds like something you want. Every bride wants to be a princess on her wedding day. Shizune works in fashion. A big wedding is in her blood. Her eye for detail and her model-like figure deserves to be put to their full potential."
"I've heard this speech a million times mother. You got your way as usual so can we just drop it?"
"No we cannot. You are spoiled rotten young man and always want everything done your way. A marriage is about two people, not just you and your obsessive need to control everything. Because of you poor Madeline has fled the country. The poor thing always had weak nerves and there you go changing everything every minute so she finally snapped."
"Madeline was the weak link among the bridesmaids." Shizune comments taking a sip from her own glass.
"Now we need another girl and the wedding is happening so soon."
"I thought that was the whole reason you wanted Mikan here." Hotaru reminds her mother.
Mizuki looks at me as if I had just materialized out of nowhere, "Mikan! There you are! You have an excellent figure. You would make a perfect bridesmaid. The dress would hardly have to be taken in at all except Madeline's a bit more bustier than you are. Oh Mikan would you? It's going to be a beautiful spring wedding in a big church with the harps and violins playing the wedding march. It'll be just like a dream. Won't you do it?"
The woman sure can make a case.
I fumble over my words, "Um I would love to help Mizuki, but I'm sure Shizune could give the spot to one of her friends or a family member even."
"But none of them have your figure! The whole configuration of the wedding party will be off!" Mizuki whines.
I look to the rest of the Imai's for help, but Mr. Imai has bowed out to take a phone call, Hotaru is stuffing her face to avoid saying anything, Subaru looks as if he couldn't care less, and Shizune just stares blankly at me with no sign of objection.
"I suppose I could-"
"Fantastic!" Mizuki chirps opening a writing portfolio she had sitting next to her on the table.
"Now we can just move around some seating. If Madeline thinks she can run away and still get to bring her plus five she has another thing coming."
"You can come get fitted tomorrow at six. All the dresses should be in from New York. Vera is not going to be too happy that she needs to do a set of alterations." Shizune says.
"Vera?"
"Vera Wang. If you don't get married wearing Vera, what's the point? She owed me a favor from saving her show last year."
I just nod. I think this is the first time Shizune has ever spoken to me directly. He voice is light, but she has the same-level tone that Subaru and Hotaru possess. She'll fit right in with this family that's for sure. Mizuki must feel like the black sheep of her family, then again if Hotaru and Ruka get married that will definitely help brighten up the family gene pool a bit. I wonder if Hotaru would take his last name assuming that Hotaru would even get married in the first place let alone to Ruka, but I think she'd do what most women in the public eye would do and keep her own name or maybe tack Nogi onto the end of her name to compromise. I don't know what Shizune's last name is, but it is soon to be Imai I'm sure. When you marry into a family like this, taking your husband's last name is expected especially if they are of traditional background which judging by Mizuki's desire for a big wedding, I'm guessing they are.
Shizune isn't drop dead gorgeous, but she's not plain by any means. Her high cheek bones and wide eyes make her cute, yet her glassed and serious expression make her very professional. How on earth she managed to become the assistant to a character like Mizuki I will never know.
Before I leave the Imai household Hotaru and I go upstairs to her room. I almost make an excuse and just grab Youichi and run out the door, but with Natsume missing and me acting all dodgy, she was bound to corner me sooner or later. She banishes Youichi to the game room and invites me upstairs under the pretense that she wants to get feedback on the phone she gave me.
"So?" she says sitting at her vanity.
"The phone is great: good service, really easy to use, the buttons all work and everything. I'm really getting the hang-"
"If you're going to call yourself my best friend, you're going to have to stop being so moronic. You know that's not what I meant." She says removing her earrings.
"Yeah I'm sorry about that it just sort of came out."
"Stop avoiding the subject."
"I'm not avoiding the subject because there is no subject to avoid. He's gone off the grid like always and he'll be back and we won't know what he did until he gets back, so why bother?"
"Did something happen?" she asks like she already knows the answer.
I run my hands through my hair and sit in her computer chair, "I thought it was something, but he left anyway. So believe me when I say it's nothing."
"Well if you thought it was something, maybe you shouldn't be so quick to dismiss it."
"I have to dismiss it. I can't let him run my life. I have responsibilities. If he wants to fall off the earth and pretend he doesn't, then that's that."
"And when he comes back?" She says facing me directly.
"If, he comes back," I correct, "And I'll burn that bridge when I come to it."
"If you say so. Don't forget your fitting tomorrow. I'll take you after your shift."
"Careful Hotaru. If we keep this up, we really will be best friends." I tease.
She doesn't even glance at me as she disappears into the bathroom, "Shut up."
I did not get to meet Vera Wang, but I did get to meet one of her very stressed out international assistants. After my shift at the restaurant, Hotaru drove me down to Yumi Katsura Couture,where Madeline's dress was ready to be altered. In the pristine clear dress bag, the dress looked beautiful, but after being forced to strip down and slip into the soft garment I felt like my eight year old self wearing my mother's clothes. The bust was too big and the dress itself gave me no figure to speak of.
"It will definitely have to be taken in." the flustered assistant says.
"It's drowning the poor girl." An older woman says coming in from the back of the store.
She's wearing a black pantsuit with lilac accenting the collar and sleeves. She wears a pair of wingtip glasses that were probably all the rage back in her day. Her hair is cut short and pinned up to restrain any loose locks or flyways. She circles around me like a vulture, pursing her lips and wrinkling her nose. A young girl possibly another assistant or an intern, holds the pin cushion and silently follows the woman as she continues to eyeball me. Finally she begins grasping at the dress and sticking pins in it with expert skill.
The workers in the room offer Hotaru a variety of beverages: different brands of bottled mineral water, coffee, tea, even pink lemonade. She takes the china cup with coffee and sips it like a typical heiress. For twenty minutes I was the perfect pin up doll trying very hard not to breathe or make direct eye contact.
Slowly, but surely the mass of peach colored fabric started to fit my body the right way. The dress reaches down to mid-thigh with several skirt layers to make it very gown-like. The bodice is decorated with several jewels and straps that tie into a giant bow at the back. Bridesmaid's dresses that I've seen on television have always been long and glamorous. This dress is just as glamorous, but I feel like I'm going to prom rather than a wedding.
"Stay still." The woman says to me before heading to the back of the store. Hotaru flips through a magazine with little interest and looks up once the woman is gone.
"It doesn't look hideous on you."
"Don't start gushing now." I tell her looking at myself in the mirror.
"My mom will cover the expenses for the bridesmaids so don't worry about it. Just be on time to the wedding. Shizune has refused a bachelorette party, so we're just having a bridal shower."
"She probably wants to keep everything classy. Bachelorette parties are usually pretty wild or so I've read."
"Shizune is perfect for my brother in that respect. She never wants to make a fuss. I'm curious as to how she'll be when she gets pregnant."
I chuckle, "She'll just be a bigger version of herself. What about you? Most stoic mother of the year award?"
"I will probably perfect the cloning process making the need to procreate obsolete."
I roll my eyes playfully, "Typical Hotaru answer."
"What about you?" She asks raising an eyebrow at me.
"I don't know. I have my hands full with Youichi so I'm definitely getting mom practice, but having a kid of my own means that there is a guy involved and you know how bad I am at social interaction let alone dating someone."
"You're too young to be a mom anyway."
"But I already am. Kind of. I don't mind though. I get to go back and forth between being a sister and being a mom. It's kind of nice."
"What about the rest of your life?"
"I just want to take care of Youichi as best I can."
"I don't think Youichi would like it if he thought you were giving up your life just to take care of him."
"Taking care of Youichi is the only thing I really know how to do. I did debate and theater in school and played sports, but I don't have any skills that will give me a decent job especially without a college degree. I don't even have a real high school diploma."
"You shouldn't give up on yourself Mikan."
"I'm not. I just-," I take a deep breath, "I just want to be okay for right now. I don't want to go off looking for myself and lose what I have right now."
The woman returns with her assistant in tow and allows me to change. She and Hotaru talk while I put back on my regular clothes. I still have the night shift at the bar. Part of me wonders if Natsume will show up, but the other more rational part of me tells the first part to shut the hell up. The car ride back to Imai's is quiet except for the dull hum of the radio. The two sides of me battle it out all the way to the restaurant. This is exactly why I hate down time all of those extra thoughts that can't reach me when I'm working, force their way into my brain the minute I take a breather.
"Mikan are you listening?" Hotaru says cutting through my thoughts.
I turn to look at her, "Huh?"
"I swear it's like there's nothing in your head sometimes."
"I'm sorry Hotaru. What were you saying?"
"I was saying that maybe you should think a little bit more about your future. If you want Youichi aspire to be more than his situation, you have to rise above as well."
"Yeah I know you're right." I say turning back to the window.
Natsume didn't show up at the bar and no matter how many drinks I served or how many tables I wiped or how many times my butt got swiped by a drunken pervert I still found myself thinking about him. If he's okay, what is he doing, who is he with, is it a girl? But by the time the weird jealousy thoughts start to creep up I'm called away to do something else. I'm not jealous of those girls because I know that to Natsume it doesn't mean anything, but if you get kissed by a guy who is notorious for his lack of affection and absence of emotional depth how do you explain to your thudding heart that it meant nothing?
I let go another sigh as I drop off my drink orders to the bartender. I didn't even notice Sumire perched on the bar next to me until she spoke.
"What's your problem? I mean aside from that outfit." She says.
As usual Sumire is in her trademark thigh high boots coupled with a black mini dress and leather jacket folded up at the elbow. She's on her third pink cosmopolitan. When Natsume's not around, she tends to drink more which only makes her less pleasant to be around.
"What do you care?" I ask loading my glasses onto the tray.
Sumire pouts, "I don't, but my Natsume-kun isn't here and I'm bored."
"Well sorry, but it's not my job to entertain you Sumire." I say rolling my eyes.
"Only because you're a bore. What are you even doing here? Shouldn't you be kissing Hotaru's ass or something? I hear you two have become quite the pair." She says with a smirk.
"Shouldn't you be working or something? Your legion of admirers is nowhere to be found."
"I sent them off. I'm not in the mood today." She replies draining her glass and signaling the bartender for another one.
I pick up my loaded tray and slip away from Sumire before she can say anything else. How anyone converses in here is beyond me.
In a blur my shift was over and I was wrapping my scarf around my throat waiting for Grant to pull up and take me back home where Youichi and Misaki were waiting. Grant, perfectly punctual as always, pulls up in his town car and takes me home without a word. I wonder what he does with the rest of his day, but I feel like it would be rude to ask. As we pull up to the apartment building a dark figure leans against the wall a few feet from the door.
In this moment I am grateful that I have a personal driver instead of taking the bus this late at night. I get out of the car and make a beeline for the door, but the figure leans off of the wall and I stop cold in my tracks.
"Natsume." I say barely above a whisper.
He takes two steps toward me stopping about a foot away. He looks the same minus his leather jacket which is buried in the back of my closet under some shopping bags. His eyes are dull and tired like he hasn't slept in a few days. I've tried not to imagine this moment. I always thought that if we saw each other again it would be in passing like at the bar during my shift or outside a restaurant while I'm with Nobara or Anna. But now that he's standing in front of me outside my apartment I don't know what I should be feeling. Relieved that he is alive, worried about his health, scared that he's done something terrible, or just happy to see him again.
"Ms. Mikan shall I escort you inside?" Grant calls from behind me.
I turn to look at him he must be worried that this guy is trying to rob me or cause me harm; it is dark out after all.
"No Grant, Natsume just came by for a visit. I'll be alright."
He tips his cap and gets back into the car. I watch his taillights disappear around the corner before turning back to Natsume who is still looking at me. Feeling a little self-conscious I run a hand through my hair and laugh dryly.
"So you're back now? Did you off anyone or was this just one of your usual disappearances?" I say sarcastically.
"Were you worried?" He asks.
I scoff, "You're a big boy and like you said I should learn to mind my own business."
"I'll take that as a yes." He says as smug as ever.
"Take it however you want it. I'm going inside." I say heading for the door.
"It's not going to be so easy."
I turn back towards him, "What are you talking about?"
"I left because of you and now I'm back for the same reason. I don't like repeating myself so I'll say this once: you're not getting rid of me. I'm just giving you what you want."
I open my mouth to reply, but I honestly don't know what to say. I'm actually struck speechless. Who does this guy think he is? He barges into my life and leaves just as quickly and then comes right back making declarations like he's the emperor of Japan. He reaches out to touch my face, but I smack his hand away and he just smirks.
"You have no idea what I want and even if you did, you're not the person that could give it to me."
Without giving him a chance to respond I go inside the apartment building. Tsubasa is talking to some woman at the desk who is probably another tenant so I give him a wave and go upstairs where Misaki and Youichi are watching television.
"Hey." I call firmly locking the apartment door.
"Hey working girl. How was your day?"
"Well," I begin, pausing to kiss the top of Youichi's head, "I got roped into being a bridesmaid for Hotaru's brother's fiancée. I had to get fitted for my dress and think deeply about what I'm going to wear to the bridal shower."
"Sounds like fun." She says.
"Hardly. Mizuki and I seem to be the only ones with any emotion. Money may be able to buy the best designer dresses and the most gorgeous wedding of the year, but if those people don't crack a smile once in a while their wedding pictures are going to look like funeral pictures."
"The Imai's are notorious for being stoic just like the Hyuuga's."
"How did I end up being among these people, I will never know." I say plopping into the empty space on the couch.
Misaki laughs, "Consider it a good fortune. Maybe some famous people will be there and offer you a modeling contract."
"Yeah right. And maybe there will be a petting zoo."
"Don't be silly. You're quite gorgeous you know. Especially with your new clothes and fancy hair-dos, but even more than that you are a beautiful person and it shows."
I beam at her, "Thanks Misaki."
"No problem. Well I should get downstairs before Tsubasa passes out from lack of nicotine."
"I really wish he wouldn't smoke."
Misaki shrugs, "Me too, but his job is stressful and I don't want to add withdrawal to it. He promised me that when we get a house of our own he would quit and I believe him."
We say our good nights and I send Youichi off to bed. Waiting up for me is really interfering with his sleep schedule, but I know I can't tell him to go to bed before I get home. Youichi may be complacent most of the time, but when it comes to waiting up for me he's downright defiant.
I complete my nightly ritual and watch a movie trying to distract myself from the complex twists and turns of my life. Sleep seems pretty far off at this point. Natsume is back, I'm a bridesmaid, my equivalency exam is coming up, I have two more surprise visits to live through, and the ever looming 'what are you going to do for the rest of your life' question buzzing through the gaps.
I roll onto my side pulling my blanket up to my chin. I find myself thanking the universe that it's Friday which means that soon it'll be Saturday and I can sleep in and study for my test and not have to leave the apartment at all. With that thought in mind I can feel myself getting more and more tired.
"Oi old lady." A voice calls.
I blink open my eyes to see a fully dressed Youichi standing in front of me. I stretch and yawn, "What time is it?"
"Almost seven." He replies.
"Oh my God!" I yell leaping out of bed.
"You sleep like you're dead, you know that?"
"Why didn't you wake me up?" I ask yanking clothes out of the closet.
"I've been trying for an hour."
"Oh my God." I mutter jumping into a pair of jeans.
"Natsume-nii is on his way."
I pause in the middle of brushing my teeth, "What?"
"He called and said he was going to give me a ride to school." Youichi said blankly.
My brain is still booting up, so it's hard for me to comprehend this information. Natsume Hyuuga called my apartment and offered to take Youichi to school? That's low even for him. Trying to get to me through Youichi? That scum.
I spit in the sink and march into the kitchen grabbing an apple from a bowl on the counter. Holding the apple with my mouth I yank my shirt over my head and grab my work bag. I'm a little disoriented from getting dressed so fast, but a knock on the door corrects my senses. Youichi goes to the door while I yank my hair up into a ponytail. Natsume and Youichi stand in the doorway looking eerily familiar waiting for me to follow them out and lock the door.
Tsubasa is going to have a field day if he's up manning the desk already. Thankfully he is absent from his desk and we slip out of the lobby unseen. Natsume's Porsche sits parked two cars down and Youichi goes on ahead because Aoi is waving at him through the backseat window. I tug Natsume's arm before we get too close.
"What the hell are you doing?" I ask through gritted teeth.
"Exactly what you want. I'm being a good brother to my sister and taking her to school."
"And what does that have to do with Youichi and me?"
"Well I figure Aoi would enjoy the company and as for you, well I just like seeing the annoyed look on your face."
"You're a pig."
"You love it." He says walking to the driver side of the car.
I grumble some not nice names for Natsume that I have invented and get into the passenger side of the car. I put all of my energy into ignoring him and pretending that I was on the moon suffering from a lack of oxygen. It isn't until we're pulling up in front of the school that I speak.
"Why are we at the school first? I have to go to work."
"I'm dropping off Aoi and Youichi first."
"Why? Don't you have to go to school too? You're making three trips instead of two."
"I think onii-san just wants to be alone with you." Aoi giggles from the back seat.
Youichi opens the door and yanks her out by her elbow and slams the door shut. He pulls Aoi all the way through the gates and up the stairs. I'm mortified that a six year old could piece something like that together.
"Idiot." Natsume says pulling the car away from the curb.
"Well how was I supposed to know? Why would you want to be alone with me anyway?"
"So I can kiss you whenever I want." He says blankly.
I can feel my cheeks get hot, "As if I would let that happen again."
"Why not?"
"Because I am not some toy you can just kiss and then disappear and then come back and kiss again. You have legions of girls lined up for that occupation."
"You're the last girl I've kissed and before that I can't even remember."
"Is that supposed to impress me? Or just make my heart all fluttery?" I ask sarcastically.
"For someone who's all smiley all the time, you sure are bitter. Hiding some demons in your closet?"
"Show me yours and I'll show you mine."
"Tch."
"You're not exactly the perfect spokesperson for opening up. For a spoiled little rich kid without a care in the world, you sure take your life for granted. Care to illuminate?"
"You're so sure that my life is perfect. Why? Because I'm rich? Because my parents have good jobs? Because I'm a genius? Or because my sister and I are so vastly different that I must be the one with the problem?"
"I'm just saying for a guy with a ton of resources at his disposal, joining a gang cannot be the only way to cope with whatever your hardships are."
"Who says I'm trying to cope? Maybe I think you should try something before you judge it. Maybe I just want to have some reckless fun before I have to go off and get a nine to five like everyone else on the planet."
"So you're doing it to kill time? You think beating up junkies and carrying a gun is just reckless fun? How fun is it going to be when you kill someone? Or if you get killed? Or busted? Do you even care about the consequences of your actions?"
"I guess not."
I scoff, "You're a pig."
He slams on the brakes jerking the car to a halt, "You think you know everything, but you don't. So don't preach to me about something you don't know anything about. Just shut your mouth."
In one swift movement I unbuckle my seatbelt and get out of the car. I must've been insane to think that any feeling towards Natsume Hyuuga that isn't disgust or distain is a good thing. Temporary insanity is definitely to blame. I dig my hands around in my coat pockets looking for my phone to call Grant so I can at least punch in on time. A big hand closes around mine taking my phone from me. I'm about to launch into full blown freak out/panic mode when I come face to face with Natsume. Looking back I can see he's abandoned his double parked car in the street to catch up with me.
"Give that back." I demand.
"No I don't think I will. I'm not used to people storming away from me and I definitely don't chase after them."
"Why did you?"
"Because Hotaru will kill me if anything happens to you. Do you even know where you're going?"
"I'd get there faster if you weren't holding my hand."
He releases my hand and I snatch back my phone. I see people getting on the bus and run to catch it. Much to my surprise Natsume gets on as well and sits down next to me.
"Have you ever ridden a city bus before?" I ask him genuinely curious.
"No I always thought they were just for show."
I roll my eyes and press myself up against the window. At this rate I'll be late for work and I'll be in a foul mood.
"Oi."
"What?" I snap at him with the best glare I can muster.
"Fix your face." He says poking me in the forehead, "You look constipated."
"Well in addition to being late for work, I'm being stalked by an annoying, inconsiderate, womanizing bastard who is obsessed with throwing his life down the toilet."
"That's not what's bothering you." He states.
"Oh really?"
"You're mad about the kiss."
I can't even reply.
"You're mad because you liked it. It was probably your first kiss."
"You are unbelievable. I haven't even thought about it since it happened and it doesn't count if I don't kiss back and I didn't. My official first kiss will be with someone I like, someone who isn't such an ass."
"Someone like your precious landlord?" He scoffs.
I roll my eyes, "He's engaged you moron."
"But if he wasn't you'd be all over him right?"
"Just stop talking to me. Get off this bus, go back to your car, go to school and leave me alone."
At this point in our conversation the other passengers are giving us awkward glances. Natsume seems completely oblivious, but I can feel their eyes on me like lasers boring into my flesh and every second spent quarreling with Natsume is just making it worse. I want the bus to plunge into a lake at this point, but I know that won't solve anything. Even from our watery graves Natsume will still continue to bug the crap out of me.
I fold my arms across my chest and slump down in my seat. Natsume just stares ahead silently. Suddenly his hand reaches over and takes mine, interlocking our fingers before I could pull away.
"What are you-" I begin.
"Just shut up for a second." He says.
So I do. I had no intention to, but it just seemed easier then fighting with him. Being mad at Natsume is more exhausting than it seems. So I just sit there with my right hand entangled with his left and his thumb trailing back and forth over mine in what I'm assuming is supposed to be a soothing gesture.
The minutes tick by and more and more people get off the bus. It doesn't occur to me that I'm not keeping track of the stops because Natsume's hand around mine is very distracting. When we finally get off the bus, I'm about five blocks passed Imai's and officially late for work.
"Great. Do you see what you cause?" I whine stomping my foot in frustration.
"It's not my fault you're too stupid to use public transportation correctly."
"If you weren't invading my space, maybe I could have been concentrating on the route."
"So I'm distracting?"
"Yes! I'm mean no. God you're infuriating!"
I'm getting flustered and red and I know it, but this guy gets under my skin almost as easily as he can get between his fan girls' legs. With that thought in mind I yank my hand away from his and start stomping my way to work.
"Should I start acting more paternal? Is that what puts you in a better mood? I can rub your head and call you kiddo." He says ruffling my bangs.
"Stop it." I say pushing his arm away.
"Or maybe a playful punch in the arm is more your taste." He lightly punches me in the arm with both fists.
I can only roll my eyes.
"Or maybe you're more of a wrestler." He says catching me in a headlock.
Is this guy for real?
"Are you insane?" I say trying not to scream.
"Not clinically." He responds holding me gently, but firming against his side.
"Get off!" I yell trying to free myself.
"You're right," He says releasing me, "You just go for guys who have no interest in you."
"What?" I say yanking my hair out of its ponytail.
He pushes his hands into his pockets, "If they're not into you, there's not risk. You fawn over them from afar and no one gets hurt right?"
"What should I be leaving a trail of broken hearts and discarded underwear in my wake like some people?"
"Of course not, when girls do it they're just sluts."
"Double standards sure are fun aren't they?" I say walking away from him.
"So you're mad that I left."
"You're a big boy Natsume. I'm not going to keep repeating myself."
"Then say something new. Say something true."
"I did say something true. I asked you not to leave and you left anyway." I say pulling my hair up into a ponytail again.
"I had to." He shrugs.
"Why? What was so important that you had to just disappear?"
He grabs my hand, "Because you gave me your stupid cold you moron."
I blink at him, "What?"
"I was sick." He emphasizes.
I scoff, "You can do better than that."
"It's the truth. You can ask my prison warden of a mother. She had me on lock down for days took my phone, my computer, and wouldn't even let me call Ruka. I'm always careful not to get sick around her. One cough and you'll be getting chicken soup through an IV."
I stared at him for a long moment. I really couldn't tell if he was telling the truth or not.
"Even prisoners get one phone call." I say after a silence.
"Not in my house." He replies.
We stare at each other for a long moment standing there on the street corner waiting for the light to change. I know he's lying, but I want to believe him. I want to believe him so badly I can't stand it. I want to believe that he was sick and delusional and his super Surgeon mother hog-tied him to his mattress and hooked a chicken soup IV to his arm.
So why can't I?
His crimson eyes are boring into mine, silently asking me to swallow his story without arguing or asking any more questions. But a million questions are buzzing around my head. He grabs my hand and locks our fingers and pulls me across the street. I wander behind him in a daze barely making out the people walking past us, the cars in the street or even the sidewalk under my feet. All I can see is him.
I'm completely blinded by Natsume Hyuuga.
His mess of ebony hair, broad shoulders covered with his school blazer, long legs making determined strides towards our destination, long fingers tangled with my own, that is all I can make out from where I'm standing.
So you know that drill let me know what you think and continue to support me as I try to manage all points of my life and still provide quality fanfics :)
Try to remember that this story is a little more thought out then some of my previous works so even if something seems random, it's not ;)
I will throw in some fluff for a little bit of content and to whet your appetites, but nothing lacks meaning (for the most part).
I don't really write anything down and sometimes I just go from memory so if I forget something drop me a line, but keep in mind I'm a big fan of disappearances and reappearances of people, objects, and places so that nothing is lost in the grand scheme.
That's all for now!
Lots of LoveLoveLove,
Chi-chan 3