Woah, I can't believe I've posted 5 chapters this month alone. For some reason my motivation to write is through the roof, and now I'm on my 2 week holiday from school so hurray! Anyways, I think things are going to get a lot more intense in the story now because Mello and Matt are leaving Wammy's House, so I really hope that you all like the direction it's heading. I just really hope that I don't get struck with writer's block because of that. Also, please review if you have any comments or constructive criticism, I would love to hear it. Here's your Chapter Nine:

Mello is asleep already when Matt creeps back upstairs and he doesn't question why Matt took so long to come back from the bathroom in the morning. Matt's relieved because he's convinced that Mello would have been able to see through any excuse he thought up, no matter how crafty. He's too excited and distracted to notice if Matt's acting like he's hiding something anyways once he's called down to Roger's office with Near to talk to L.

"I wonder if it's a new case! He might make us swear to keep it confidential, but I'll make an exception to tell you. After all, you're the 3rd successor so you should probably know whatever it is too." Mello tells him before heading downstairs, and Matt wonders if Ryuzaki will tell him that Matt no longer is the 3rd successor, and if Mello will think less of him once he finds out.

Matt's stomach feels queasy so he skips class to hide amongst the back shelves of the library, puttering around on his DS and trying to stay distracted with Pokémon. He's scared to know what L's going to tell Mello- scared that L is right and that the information will ruin everything, will start breaking down what's between him and Mello. And Matt's not even sure what is between him and Mello. He and Mello are best friend's, he's sure of this because he's Mello's only friend. And Mello must care deeply about him even if he doesn't express it through words, but is it as deeply as Matt cares? Is he on Mello's mind all the time? Is Mello happiest when he's spending time with him? Would Mello give up anything for him?

Matt can't figure out the answers to any of these questions and he knows that Mello will bulk if he ever asks them, will get angry or go running. He would be too stubborn to admit it if any of the answers were yes. Could Matt be satisfied with that, living without the confirmation of Mello's feelings for him?

Mello knows where to find him as always, comes and sits down next to him and snatches the DS from Matt's hands. His blue eyes are wide as saucers and he places his hands on Matt's knees.

"You're not going to believe this- this is the most bat shit insane case I've ever heard."

And so Mello tells him. Tells him of the strange goings on in Japan, of the large number people dying without warning, mostly of heart attacks from no apparent cause, and not just any people, criminals. Tells him that the media is calling these deaths the work of "Kira", the work of a killer demon or of a killer god. Tells him that the great detective L is going to bring him to justice, has challenged him on live television after an ICPO meeting to a game of cat and mouse that's going to be watched and scrutinized by the entire planet, as this case is the biggest case of the century, how L has already tricked Kira into revealing that he is in the Kanto region of Japan and is going to travel there and Mello just knows that he's going to win triumphantly. Matt doesn't say it out loud, but he thinks that L isn't as confident in his skills as Mello is, otherwise he wouldn't have told Mello so many details about the case. He can tell what he's trying to prepare Mello and Near for, the possibility that it might become their case as well.

Matt feels weird about the facts of the case, uncomfortable with them, but not any more uncomfortable than anyone else would be if you told them about it. He doesn't have any notion or foreshadowing of doom, any vision of himself lying in the street with bullets in his chest, bleeding out for Mello's sake. Even if he did, it wouldn't have made any difference. Things were already in motion and Matt was in too deep, too far with Mello. L had a better understanding of these matters than he gave him credit for.

Mello resumes his correspondence with L, much frequenter than it was before, emailing him back and forth almost every day about all the strange details of the case that are arising. He starts printing off these emails and keeping all of the information in a large black binder in their room, starts staying up late reading this in the lamplight, taking frantic notes when he has ideas and sending them to L the next day, who usually informs him that they've already occurred to him as well.

Matt always goes to bed before Mello now and the kisses the touches, that all stops because Mello only has catching Kira on his mind, tells Matt that he's too busy whenever he tries to initiate anything, and that almost makes Matt hate Kira more than his killing does. But Mello still lets Matt in on everything, still treats him with the same warmth he only reserves for him, and for now Matt is sure that L must be wrong.

The binder expands as the months go by, as the New Year begins and the snow melts and things get stranger and stranger. L's Kira Task Force composed of members of the NPA seems to take a step back for every step they take forward and the game continues with more criminals dying with no sign of stopping. The media's already begun to worship the first Kira by the time the second one pops up, and the world debates the ethics of vigilante murder and god complexes. L stops emailing Mello as often when the summer comes and Mello starts throwing up again. Matt cups his fingers around his friends protruding ribs and hip bones at night and finds that he dislikes L more than ever.

The emails stop coming altogether around the beginning of October, but this didn't necessarily mean anything. L had gone long periods without contact with Mello before, and this could just mean that things are becoming more heated in the case. The last email from L was odd though, because it didn't contain any information about the case, it was just L asking Mello what he thought about the idea of shinigami.

Neither Mello nor Matt knew what a shinigami was until they looked it up togerher in the library, the strange death gods of Japanese culture and religion. They could see the similarities with how people were comparing Kira to a god in the media but couldn't see what it realistically had to do with the case. Mello was, still surprisingly to Matt, a man of God, still dragged Matt to Mass with him every Sunday, but he believed that the demons of the world resided inside of people's weaknesses of character, not as physical beings. Matt found his beliefs entirely agnostic and that the older he got the less he trusted anything but the concrete facts. They both thought that maybe L was under too much stress. There's no change in Wammy's atmosphere come November 5th, although it's raining there as well. There's no feeling that the building is emptier, that it's no longer fulfilling any purpose because both its founder and inspiration are gone, both their lights snuffed out by Kira's darkness.

Roger calls Mello and Near down to his office in the late afternoon of December 5th. Matt's with him when it happens, they've just come inside from playing a game of soccer with everyone, are laughing and wiping the mud from their jeans and dusting the snow from their hair. It was too sunny a day to waste despite Roger's warnings that they'd all catch colds. Mello swore at him until he let them all outside anyways, was in a shockingly good mood and actually passed the ball to the other kids, only tackled Matt in the field and only because he started it by tossing a snowball at him.

It's been exactly a year since the case began and a month since L's and Watari's deaths, like clockwork, like magic. Like L signed a contract entailing his death in fine print when he challenged Kira that day, bargaining the lives of both himself and his caregiver and his top three students. But none of them signed up for this kind of end. These sorts of things are never anyone's fault really.

Matt waits outside the door, eavesdropping as usual, and when Mello comes out of the office Matt can tell right away that he's furious from the way his hands are balled up tightly into fists, his brows furrowed and his blue eyes burning with what appears to be tears forming. Matt knows better than to approach him even though he wants to ask what's wrong, and Mello brushes past him to stomp upstairs. Matt waits for Near to come out as well, even though talking to the stoic faced boy always sends shivers up his spine, he gives him the creeps. He'll do it to find out whatever he needs to know to help Mello though.

"Near, please can you tell me what happened?"

"I suppose that you're entitled to know as well. L and Watari were killed by Kira a month ago. Roger wanted to confirm everything to make sure that it was all true before he told us."

Matt is sure that Near is the only person in the world who thinks it's alright to drop information like this so bluntly. He knows he shouldn't be shocked, he had considered the possibility that this case could be the one L finally lost, could tell that L was considering it himself since the very beginning, but it's hard to truly grasp that him and Watari are dead. L always seemed so ageless; every time he visited he never seemed to change to Matt. He can only imagine how had it's going to be for Mello who actually cared about L, who now can never prove to him that he's a better successor than Near. He can feel Mello's pain twisting his own gut.

"You're serious aren't you?! Ah sorry, of course you are I know. What did Mello say, or did he say anything at all?"

"He refused to team up with me as L's heirs on the case, which is very unfortunate because I could use his help, I know that we would be able to solve it much more quickly together rather than alone. It's quite selfish of him but I know that he's set on it. He also said that he wants to strike out on his own now, to leave Wammy's completely. Roger thinks he's just saying it out of grief, that he's not actually serious. But I'm not so sure. Matt, you have to keep an eye on him. He is very vulnerable now that he knows about L. Make sure he doesn't do something he regrets. Roger's at his wits end now that L and Watari are gone, he doesn't know what to do with himself so he can't deal with Mello right now. It's up to you."

Of course it is, everything to do with Mello is always up to me.

"Matt, promise me that you will take care of him?"

It was the closest thing to emotion that he had ever heard in Near's voice and it catches Matt off his guard, his dark eyes actually seemed to show some signs of melancholy.

"I will Near, I promise."

Mello appeared completely emotionless and barely spoke two words to him for the rest of the day; despite how much Matt was trying to engage him.

"Do you want me to take you to church? I can get the pastor for you if you think it would help to talk to him? You don't even have to walk, I'll carry you." He offered as he tried rubbing Mello's arms that were curled around his knees as he lay on the floor, but he pushed away Matt's hands roughly.

He wouldn't even eat the chocolate Matt brought for him. He just kept telling Matt that he would prefer to be left alone, and when the end of the day came he climbed up to his own bunk and Matt went to bed by himself for the first time in 3 years. The twin mattress feels too large and his chest is aching as he listens to Mello's deep breathing above him, but is comforted by the fact that the boy is asleep and can't go anywhere now. He's been watching him like a hawk all day and following him everywhere he goes, except for to the bathroom, but he watches the door until Mello comes out and times it to make sure he's not taking abnormally long. The weirdest part was Mello didn't even seem annoyed, no swearing or anything, just listlessly repeated for Matt to leave him be, in such a way that Matt almost thought that might actually be the best course of action although he couldn't bear it, not after what Near told him. He refuses to accept though that Mello would ever leave Wammy's without telling him, without his agreement that he would come along. They've been together 9 years, over half their lives. There's just no way.

_

Matt knows there's something wrong the moment he wakes up. It's too cold, and not just because Mello's not in bed with him. The air is icy and too clean and sharp in his chest, and he swears that he can see he breath like a glinting cloud in the dark. He wraps the blanket tightly around his shoulders and slips out of bed, peering over the edge of the top bunk even though he already knows that Mello isn't going to be there because the window has been left open wide. He doesn't even know what he's doing when he runs over to it, placing his hands on the freezing metal sill and leaning his head out into the winter night to scream his best friend's name into the darkness, although he must already be way too far away to hear him, he can see the prints of his boots extending as far as he can see across the yard of Wammy's.

He just doesn't know what to do but scream, screams his throat raw until Roger comes pounding upstairs to ask what the Hell is going on, and when he realizes looks like he's going to scream as well. He runs out of the room to round up the teachers, to put Wammy's on lock down because despite his hasty judgement that led to this disaster he'll be damned if this institution he's wasted most his life on falls to pieces. He's not going to lose any more students. He forces Matt to come with him of course, and Matt barely has time to notice the white envelope on his pillow and shove it in his pocket before he's locked in Roger's office, who tells him that although he trusts him he has to take safety precautions now because he doesn't want to leave Matt alone, free to try and run after Mello. But Matt has already made up his mind that the first chance he gets, of course he will. Mello was the only thing for him here. He tears apart the envelope angrily once he hears the lock click and smoothes out the crumbled paper on the desk, flicking on the table lamp next to him to make out the perfect printing.

Dear Matt,

I'm not going to tell you where I am and you will never be able to figure it out with your poor deduction skills, so just let go of the idea of trying to find me now, okay? Because I don't want you to and it's better for the both of us if you simply just accept that. Just forget about me and find someone else to cling to. I don't want any part of Wammy's attached to me anymore and that includes you, because I've outgrown this place. I'm old enough to find my own way in this world and I don't need or want you in my life. You're only going to be a burden to me and slow me down if I feel obliged to look after you as I pursue the Kira Case, you'd just end up getting us both killed. I don't need any distractions as I set out to bring Kira to justice, which I will do no matter how long it takes. I'm going to avenge Watari's and L's deaths. I'll never forgive you if you ruin this for me, so just stay away.

Sincerely, Mello

That fucking prick. If he thought that he could convince Matt that he didn't care about him or had secretly hated being his best friend this whole time then he had another thing coming. He had seen the way Mello treated the people he hated, and this wasn't it. You don't play countless soccer games with someone you hate. You don't stay up late telling scaring stories in the dark with them, or skip class to build book forts to hide in in the library; you don't smoke your first cigarette with them or buy them presents for their birthday. You don't force them to go to church because you're worried for their soul and you don't sleep in their bed every night and you don't beat up bullies for them even though they never asked you to do any of that stuff. And certainly, he couldn't possibly believe that you would kiss them the way Mello had kissed him. That could not possibly be true.

So Mello's letter was absolute bullshit. He was just trying to get Matt to stay away because he was on some super angsty grief revenge trip and had convinced himself that he didn't need anyone and was doing this for the sake of Matt's safety. He was trying to become some sort of stupid antihero, the kind Mello always rooted for when they were watching movies, it was definitely the exact type of thing Mello would indulge him. He wanted to get all the glory of avenging Watari and L's deaths? Well, Matt was never going to allow him to have all the fun by himself. Selfish melodramatic delusional bastard.

Matt tore through Roger's filing cabinet, a horribly disordered system of papers and folders, until he found what he was looking for, the one with a big old English M at the top along with Mello's name. He was astonished that these things weren't under tighter security and decided to grab his own file as well; stuffing it in his pajama top and flipping open Mello's. He couldn't let himself feel bad about invading his best friend's privacy with what he was putting him through.

Mello's real name was Mihael Keehl. His father was involved in the Russian Mafia before he shot his wife and himself, which Matt wishes he didn't know now, wishes that Mello could have told him this himself even though he hasn't given away any more details since that day nine years ago. Their home had been in Moscow just like Mello had told him, but now he also had an exact address, along with the address to a bank and an account number, and Matt knows exactly where his best friend has gone. If he's going to take on the Kira case, then he's going to need some kind of income, and with how rich he said his parents were they must have left him some money. Matt knows that he himself needs money and how to hack into any low security account to get the amount he needs for a plane ticket to Russia, but he's also terrified of going alone.

Moscow's a huge, non-tourist friendly city and the one thing Matt's never grasped is languages, has never been able to speak a word of anything but English, French, and Spanish, the three that every Wammy's student is required to learn to even be considered for The List, is still shocked that L overlooked it. He's never even heard Mello even speak any Russian although it's his native tongue, has a feeling that even that was too personal for him to share with him. What if he runs into trouble, it's bound to happen venturing into a country he's never been to where he can't even speak the language? How on earth will he be able to talk his way out?

But Matt has already accepted that for Mello, he's willing to take any risk. Even his life.

Mello stuffs this file into his shirt as well and manages to clean everything back up into its ordered chaos before Roger comes to collect him, to take him to collect his things from his room and move into Near's of all places. Mello would be furious. Matt gets his clothes quickly and notices that all of Mello's are gone. How the hell did he pack everything without Matt waking up? He was so angry with himself for having fallen into such a deep sleep.

Near didn't look surprised to see him, but then again when has Near ever looked surprised about anything ever? Before Roger leaves Matt realizes that it's his help he's going to need, he's the one smarter than him who can help him find the way to sneak out of Wammy's with Roger on red alert and to find his way to the air port without a car or a bus to take him there. But could he be trusted not to snitch on him? He supposed he didn't have anything to lose.

"I'm so sorry Near, I wasn't looking after him like I should have been, and I made a stupid mistake. But you have to help me, I know where to find him but I have no idea how I'm going to get there under Roger's watch! Please, I know you two didn't like each other and it might not be wise of me to go running off too but I can't leave him on his own out there! I just can't!" He pleaded earnestly, couldn't believe he was begging the boy Mello hated most for help to get to him.

"I never disliked Mello in any way. In fact, I have quite the admiration for his skills despite how emotional and rash he can be. I regret the way he built a grudge against me, especially the way it's preventing us from solving the Kira case together now. I will help you of course, I don't think Mello should be on his own either, and you are the person who can look after him the best, try and make him see some reason. It's not your fault he ran away."

Near's monotone voice and expression now seem close to gentle, and Matt feels uncomfortable about all the mean things he's said about him behind his back to appease Mello, but he supposes it wouldn't help to apologize for them now.

"Thank you! Thank you so much! What I need is to get to the airport, I can hack out the money easily, I know it sounds bad but I can put it back when I find a way to make cash."

"I wouldn't be too concerned about it honestly. If you take it out of a rich account the owner probably won't notice the amount for a plane ticket to Russia is missing. I would recommend taking small amounts from multiple accounts as well to have converted into Russian currency."

"How did you know he's gone to Russia?" Matt exclaimed.

"Well he would go back home first of course. He thinks he's lost his entire accent but I can still detect the hints of it. Then I'm not positive where he'll go, it's probably between Japan to be closer to the Kira case or to the United States or Canada, a country with a similar government to here so he'll be more comfortable with how things operate. I can distract Roger easily by pretending I'm having a mental break down stimulated by the loss of L, he'll be too concerned about the possibility of losing another successor to notice you're gone until you've boarded the plane. But to be safe we should wait a week, until his panic has died down. It should be in the evening too to buy us more time, so no one sees that you're missing from class until the next day. As for transportation that's easy, you sneak out our window after calling a taxi cab to collect you, you tell them to meet you farther up the road."

"Won't the driver question what I'm doing meeting him on my own and going to the airport at my age?"

"I think you will find that most people question nothing so long as you have the money to pay them with. The only thing I would like in return for my help is to give you my email so you can give me updates on how both you and Mello are doing."

"Aw Near, I don't know. It's not that I'm not grateful to you for helping us but he'd be so pissed if he found out I was telling you about him working on the case. He's going to be determined to solve it first you know, since he's refused to work with you in any way."

"You don't have to give me specific details, just let me know where you are and that the both of you are alright. Please, promise me this if only for my peace of mind."

To Matt it seemed that Near never had a single worry. He didn't seem to be showing any remorse over Watari and L's passing so it was bizarre he seemed to be so concerned about his and Mello's well being and future, more bizarre still that he harboured no ill feelings towards Mello after all the cruel things that the boy had said and done to him, for no reason at all aside from his own insecurity about being inferior.

"All right then, I guess I promise."

You better have a damn good apology for all of this when I find you Mello. I've put up with a lot of shit but I swear to God I'm never going let you live this one down.