Hello all you amazing readers,

Well here we are the final chapter of what is most likely my last fic. (cue sobs) No really this has been an amazing outlet for my creative side and has been one of the most important support system for my writing style. You all make me really believe in myself as a writer and I can never repay you for that even if you've never commented or reviewed every click, every follow, every read has meant the world to me. I'm seriously tearing up right now. I really hope I live up to the expectations that a lot of you have for me. Please don't lose touch. I'm easily discouraged sometimes and would love to hear your kind words, honest criticisms and lovely emojis. Thank you all for everything I love you all from the bottom of my heart.

So here we go,

RxExR

Chapter 24: Rebirth

When I was a little girl I always had the same nightmare. I was being chased by a monster through the empty halls of my elementary school. I just had to make it to my dad's classroom and the monster would disappear and light would restore. The halls would fill with laughing kids and I would wake up smiling.

After he died, the nightmare would go on and on with me being chased down the never-ending hallway of the school. I would wake up screaming for someone to help me. My Jii-chan would come in and console me, but it just wasn't the same. The dreams stopped a few days after my dad's funeral because with him gone, I realized that there was nothing left to be scared of. Without him there to make the monsters disappear, I started to welcome the darkness in hopes that it might lead me to where he was.

It strikes me as a little poetic that I should think of this memory as I follow Persona between the trees and into the uncertain darkness of the forest. I do not have a death wish. I know how easy it would be to ditch my shoes and outrun him back to Hotaru's lake house. But after all of the waiting and cruel uncertainty of his existence I just couldn't let him out of my sight. I needed to be with him more than I needed to run away from him. In a twist of fate the person that I couldn't wait to get away from has become a beacon of stability. Ironically the only way I feel Persona can't hurt me is if he's right in front of me.

"I knew you'd come." I said as I stepped over a pile of fallen branches.

He stopped shuffling and looked at me over his right shoulder. Even in the dim light I could tell he was off. His trench coat that made him look intimidating now just swallowed his thin frame. His left hand was twitching quite noticeably and most of his weight rested on his right leg. He turned to me with that smirk plastered across his face.

"You should have ran. Or at least screamed. It's insulting that you came so quietly."

"I've been running from you for months now. You always seem to find me."

"I should've killed you years ago." He said as if the thought just occurred to him.

"I've often thought that myself, but you couldn't kill me. I had too many attachments to the outside world. Despite all your efforts to lock us up, someone would have notice I was missing. Classmates, teachers, someone would have noticed and eventually someone would come looking."

"I had other reasons of keeping you around. Just look at you. In your pretty party dress and fancy face. The things I've wanted to do to you…"

There was an unsettling heave in my stomach as he drew out his pause leering at me with one clear thought on his mind.

"But that's the trouble with you pretty ones. Always cost more than your worth." He said.

"You're disgusting."

"Why? Because I'm telling the truth? Where's your little boyfriend?" He threw his gaze about, "I thought that bastard was going to be my prodigy. Turns out he's been working for feds all along. And to top it all off he was slithering beside you all this time. So tell me, how far did you have to spread those satin thighs to get Natsume so noble? Don't be shy. You Sakura women surely have ways of getting what you want. I've experienced it firsthand."

"Natsume is nothing like you."

"Maybe not or maybe you just give him too much credit. I've been fantasizing about killing you since the day you took off. I even choked your mother a few times just to get the sensation right, but it didn't satisfy me. I couldn't find you in her eyes. There was no…fire. I wanted that burning look only you can give me. I want to watch that fire die."

"You're sick. You don't even want to kill me for revenge, it's all just lust to you."

He laughed, "If I want revenge, the best way to get it is through your little friends or the little brat or your feeble old grandpa. I don't want revenge. Revenge is an idiot's endeavor. To put in so much effort to get nothing in return is foolish. I want to rise again. Like a phoenix from the ashes. Your ashes. You and I are going rebuild an empire unrivaled by anything you've ever seen."

"I would never help you."

"The beauty of it is you won't have a choice. You've followed me away from your party and your friends because you know the same thing I do: we belong together. You can't stand the thought of me out of you sight."

Though Persona and I had come to the same conclusion, I'd never considered how wrong he might interpret my actions. I didn't want him out of my sight because the known is a lot less frightening than the unknown. I wanted Persona like I would want my eyes gouged out with a tea spoon. All the passes he made at me over the years and the relationship he had with my mother began to make sense. Persona wanted me that much was clear, but I suddenly realize that in his fragile mind he was obsessed with me. The crazed look in his eye as if I had all the answers to his problems. That I could restore his empire and make him the man he wants to be. Everything that he craves rests with me.

Something inside of me dissolved in that moment. Maybe it was the fragile veil keeping my sanity intact. I can't really say for certain, but all of sudden the situation seemed laughable.

So I laughed. A chuckle really. Barely above a giggle not lasting more than a second, but in the crippling serenity of the forest it might as well have been a snort coupled with a side splitting howl. The noise caught him off guard. As if it hung in the air completely tangible, mocking him with its presence.

I chose to speak, "You've made a mistake. You think I came out here with you to be your new beginning, but this is the end. I want you to disappear. I don't want to be with you. I'm not meant for you. You disgust me in every way. You're a pathetic drug addict. You think you can threaten me? I know when to be afraid of you, but I don't feel fear right now. All I feel is pity."

I didn't feel strong or brave. Especially when Persona lurched towards me with his hands aiming for my throat. I didn't feel invincible or daring. There was no surge of power from years of being abused and beaten into submission. My instincts drew me to stumble backwards which led to a downward tumble. Twigs and rocks stabbed at my legs as Persona scrambled his way on top of me. His right hand was locked on my neck, but his left hand was still twitching and couldn't maintain a tight grasp so he settled for pulling my hair.

Tears were welling in my eyes from the pain in my thighs. My breathing was labored due to the grip on my throat, but as I thrashed as much as I could on the hard ground my mind was unfocused. I stared out at the sky as my vision began to blur. I just wanted to stay awake. I didn't want this night to fade into the welcoming darkness of death. No matter how badly I wanted to see my father again, I didn't want him to see me with bloody legs and twigs and dirt in my hair.

My mind was pulled back into my body by the forceful blows of Persona slamming my head into the ground. He was over his unsavory affections and wanted me dead.

"Look at me! Look at me you bitch! I want you to watch me. Look at me!" He screamed.

Despite my harsh dismissal, I felt that Persona still wanted my approval. He wanted my attention. He still needed me. The desire to possess me overpowers his desire to eliminate me. I found the worst thing I could do in this situation is the best thing I to do: I closed my eyes.

"Open your eyes! You look at me! Look at me right now!"

He was pawing at my face trying to force my eyelids open, but with his lack of control of his left hand it was nearly impossible. He removed his right hand from my neck and tried to pry my eyes open with his fingers.

"Damn you. I said look at me! You look at me you bitch!"

I clenched my eyes shut and fought him completely blind. I tried to grab for his face, but he kept me at bay. As I wiggled beneath his weight looking for relief from the painful discomfort of the forest floor, Persona had other things on his mind as his hands left my face and dove under my dress. My eyes shot open as he acquired a firm grip on my underwear.

"Now you want to look? Good. I want you to see this."

He may not have full control, but he's strong enough to pin me down on my side as he tries to work my underwear off from under my tight skirt. I felt that familiar panic that I had encountered when I lived in that house. I was always careful to wear extra pants and tight draw string bottoms to prevent him from having easy access to me, but in this new life I had gotten careless. I allowed myself to walk about freely in clothes that made me feel like the Mikan I wanted to be.

What was I thinking? With Persona slinking around, I should have taken back to my old ways, but I didn't. I didn't want to be the zombie I was before. Slipping about that house to finish my chores, fighting off Persona's advances, trying to minimize the damage from his abuse, etc. My entire life for the past three years has revolves around this person. The beast that roamed about our dwelling ready to lash out for any reason at any time. No matter how clean the house was or how good the drugs were, Persona always found a reason to lash out.

Perhaps he just wanted to touch me. As he holds down my legs and tries to pry at my under garment, in his mind I know how erotic this all is to him. Like some fantasy being fulfilled. My thoughts wandered to Natsume and how firm, but gentle his hands are when he holds my hand or caresses my face.

The thought of Persona's filthy claws pawing at me being the last time anyone touched me made me sick to my stomach. I found myself digging my legs into the harsh pain of the ground to try to put any distance between us.

Amongst the debris of the forest was my jeweled hair pin. I grabbed for it and clutched it into my hand so tight that my palm stung. I'm still here. I'm still alive. Embracing the pain that confirms that fact. With as much force as I could gather from pain and panic, I stab the pin into Persona's hands repeatedly, sending him reeling backwards.

I scrambled in the opposite direction. My heart was pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear the screams of my limbs as more rocks and twigs attacked me. The adrenaline coursing through my veins didn't allow me to feel the pain. My mind had completely taken over and now was the time to fight back. Despite the wounds to his hand he was back at me within seconds. My shoe long abandoned, I planted my naked left heel into the ground and kicked out my right foot as hard as I could. He fell backwards with a thud and audible crunch along the ground.

I hurried to my feet and put some distance between us. As he tried to regain his footing, I could see that the heel of my shoe left a deep gash from his nose to his right cheek. He caressed the wound as blood began to trickle down his sullen cheeks. He pulled his hand away slowly and stared at his bloody palm.

"A fighter till the end." He said with a laugh, "Nothing like your mother at all."

He leaned against the trunk of a tree and breathed heavily. He was bent slightly at the waist making his dark locks cast a curtain over his face. All the times Persona had been this close to me, there was always a tension in the air as I waited foor him to yell or hit me for no reason at all. Now in the middle of this forest only several feet away from him I no longer feel that tension.

No more anticipation and waiting for blows to come. I had fought against him and found my footing all on my own. I thought about my friends being so close yet so far away in a world that I was fortunate enough to be invited into. Even though I never felt like I truly belonged there. I wanted very much to feel like I belonged with them, but with my past lapping at my heels like flames of a perishing fate I knew I could never fully submerge into this new life.

"Enough games," Persona said as his right hand disappeared behind his back.

From his trenchcoat, he pulled out a silver gun. With its long barrel, it reminded me of the guns I'd seen in old westerns like a six shooter revolver. Where guns are concerned a sudden tunnel vision comes over me as I stare into the barrel waiting for the spark and deafening 'BANG'.

"I hate guns. I love the way they look and feel, but there's no art in how they kill. It's over so quickly. I like to…savor it."

"I thought you said no more games?!" I shouted.

I was breathing heavily and clutching the pin in my hand so tight it might absorb into my palm. I kicked off my right heel and took an unsteady step toward him.

"Come on then! Do it!"

I took another uneasy step. He straightened up as I approached him and his mocking grin was gone. The gun was aimed right at my head and a jerk of Persona's finger is all that stood between me and the great trip into the unknown.

"You're a coward and a bully. You hurt people and you take from them. You're a goddamn parasite. Everything you touch, every life, every person becomes ruined. I wanted to get away from you. I had to run away from my own mother to feel like I could be rid of you. You're a disease. I hate you. I will never hate anything or anyone more in this life. So go ahead shoot me. You mean nothing to me. I'd rather rot in the ground than have to spend another second breathing the same air as you. I will never belong to you. I will fight you with every breath in my body. You may get my body, but only when there is nothing left inside. No heat, no fire, no sensation what so ever."

He cocked the gun, "Does death appeal to you that much?"

"I don't want to die. I don't want the last person I see to be you, but I will gladly welcome that fate as long I know I'm leaving you behind with nothing. You have no money, no empire. My life is just a consolation prize to you. Then you'll spend the rest of your worthless life running."

He had the gun a few inches from my face. He wore an expression of confusion and frustration.

"The police are already looking for you. How badly will they want you when they add murder to your list of charges?"

He shoved the gun into my cheek, "I'm going to bury you so deep they won't even find you. You've run away once, what's to keep you from doing it again. I'm not scared of the police, I'm not scared of your rich friends, and I'm certainly not scared of you."

"Oh really? Then why haven't you killed me yet?"

With a wild swing of my right arm, I drove my hair pin into Persona's left eye. His hands flew up and the gun discharged in the air as he screamed in agony. I took off running in no familiar direction and I could hear him firing the gun after me. My feet hurt against the floor as I tried to maintain my speed. I was brought to a halt and a tumble by a low hanging branch. I struggled to catch my breath after having the wind knocked out of me. My body was beginning to ache and throb having all it can take of the abuse by the forest floor.

I could still hear Persona's screams of pain which told me I didn't get too far. I had no idea if I was even going in the right direction back to Hotaru's lake house. My head felt heavy as I forced myself to be upright. The forest seemed darker and there was a chill in the night air I had been immune to when I had a psychopath threatening to kill me. I got to my feet and rested against a tree for support. Should I go back? Should I keep running until I saw something other than forest?

But as I stood there debating with myself, I knew my feet couldn't make another step. Whether it was the pain or the possible sprained ankle I couldn't be sure, but I think the real reason is that Persona's cries of anger and pain comforted me. He was experiencing a pain that could almost rival the pain he put us through for three years. He was all alone like I was during that time.

"Come on. Move." I said to myself.

I peeled myself from the tree and stumbled forward. I kept willing my body to move forward even as my mind felt that it was floating away. But for all my willpower I couldn't venture far from where Persona's cries of pain were ringing out.

What if he got away again?

I'm positive that he won't let another chance to kill me slip out of his fingers. Especially now that I had partially blinded him. I was willing to do anything to survive, but could I kill Persona? Something inside told me I couldn't, maybe it's my humanity, but under that was a vengefull and angry girl who would do anything to feel safe again. If Persona was gone for good there would be nothing left to be afraid of.

Tears of pain and frustration spilled down my cheeks and I wanted to go home. I could hear Persona stumbling around trying to get his bearings. With a deep breath I stumbled towards the sound. He was cursing my name which made him easier to find. Blood had stained the left side of his face as his hand clutched his impaled eye. He was hunched over using a tree for support. The gun was abandoned amongst the forest debris several steps from where Persona rested.

"Doesn't feel good does it?" I asked.

He turned his head to look at me with his good eye, "You bitch. You're gonna pay for that."

"An eye for eye? I already told you I'm not afraid of you. I'm still here. You're barely able to stand and you only have one good eye."

"Do you really think you can kill me little girl?"

"I don't think I can, but I know I can't run away anymore."

He leaned off the trunk of the tree and took a few uneasy steps forward. He picked up the gun and held it up with some difficulty, "Well at least you won't die like a coward."

"The last time you help that thing to my face, you lost an eye." I said.

He glared at me, but his expression slowly drifted to a grin, "I bet you miss your father. That's why you can stare death in the face and act so cocky. They never did catch his killer. Why would they? He was just some nothing school teacher. Struck down in broad daylight and no one gave a damn. Just another day to the cops."

"Shut up about my dad! You don't know what happened! You didn't know him!" I couldn't help but shout.

"But I did I knew of him anyway. Word travels you know. Some bozo gets the short end of the stick leaving behind a little wife and daughter. Word gets around. Your mother and I didn't meet by chance. I targeted her. Picked her out real special. So pathetic. Moping around about some guy who didn't even have the stones to fight back. That's right. I knew all about your daddy. I even know the guy who killed him. Freddie. Shot him point blank just because he felt like it."

Persona's dry laugh filled my lungs with rage.

"Seven years was no time at all with a sure thing like your mother. She was half a woman when I finally made my move. Tempting her was simple enough and I knew once she was hooked there was no need for concern. She had drank most of her insurance money, but she was still valuable. I could still use her until I had everything I needed. A nice little family proved the perfect cover for my business."

"You're a piece of shit." I said through gritted teeth and fresh tears.

He smiled, "Not so confident now huh? I only wish I had taken him out myself. Freddie said he was a real waste. Didn't even have any money on him. Pathetic."

I threw my hands over my ears and screamed for him to shut up. All of this was too much to process. I was tired, dirty, and bleeding. My heart was pounding and my mind was racing. He waited all these years for the perfect moment to drop this information on me, but could just as easily be lying to rattle me. Whatever his reason, I was sufficiently rattled and I just wanted to hide away, but with a gun still trained on me I needed to put my survival first. I sank to my knees and shook my shoulders. It didn't require much acting on my part. I was already trembling and he had already seen my tears. Feeling full of himself, I can hear him shuffling closer to me. I sank further to the ground so that I was kneeling with my head pressed to my right thigh.

"That's right little girl. This is where you belong: kneeling in front of me, shaking, and afraid. Don't worry you'll see your pathetic father soon enough."

I hear the gun cock and with that I shoot up grabbing the barrel. He fires the gun, but the bullet misses me by inches and the barrel is burning my hands, but I hold tight as I relieve him of his grip and with a single swing I send the butt of the gun into Persona's left eye. Which sent the pin on its remaining pilgrimage into Persona's skull. His body went limp and dropped on top of me with an audible thud.

As I lay there breathing, staring at the sky, I couldn't believe how quiet the world was all of sudden. My ragged breathing could not pierce the tranquility that had suddenly befallen the place. I just laid there. The war was over, I had won, but I didn't rejoice or revel in this victory. In ancient myths, knights would slay dragons and parade the severed heads around on a pike. I had called Persona an assortment of names over the years, demonizing him to make my plight more bearable, but at the end of this long winded battle, I realize that laying on top of me was just a body. A body of a man that I had killed.

When it became a question of him or me, I had chosen me. I knew how easy it was to just give up and succumb to your nightmares and let them control you, but I had fought back. This isn't a victory I'm proud of, but it was the lesser of two evils. Letting Persona control me and consume me would have been far worse for those I love than the guilt of this outcome for me.

So I laid there, not rejoicing, but asking my father and God and the forest to forgive me. Forgive me for what I had to do, Forgive me-

"Mikan!"

"Hotaru!" I screamed.

I couldn't get Persona's body off of me, but I was so happy to hear Hotaru's voice that I was crying again. For a moment I thought maybe I really was in hell and my punishment was to be with Persona's body forever. But I can hear the shuffling of feet running towards me.

"I'm here! Hotaru! I'm here!" I was shouting as much as my pinned down body would let me.

Hotaru along with Ruka and several police officers appeared from the darkness. The officers had stopped with their flashes on me, stunned at what a sight I must be. Hotaru didn't stop though. She charged past them and started to pull Persona off of me.

"Help me!" she shouted at Ruka who was also driven to a halt by the sight.

He joined Hotaru and the two of them pulled Persona's body off of me. He fell beside me with a thump and I tried my best to sit up. Hotaru wasted no time helping me. Her face was twisted into a worried and horrified expression. I can hear one of the officers use his radio to call for a paramedic. Hotaru was checking my face and head and I could tell from the tears welling up in her eyes I must look worse than I feel.

"You're so stupid! You could've died!" She was yelling at me, but I was too happy to see her to care.

"I'm here," was the only thing I could say over and over.

And I am here. My body is hurting and tired, but I'm still here. In Hotaru's arms staring up at the dark sky, I can feel my heart fluttering with life and I know that everything is going to be different now. A few months ago I woken up among furniture debris, thinking that this is what death must be like, but here again on the forest floor I know this is what it's like to be born again.

When I woke up in the hospital, my first instinct was to panic. Was it all a dream? Did I have too much to drink at the party? A tight grip on my hand pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts. The dark head of hair coupled with a wrinkled black t-shirt told me who it was immediately. How long had he been there? Natsume sat in a chair next to my bed with his head resting on top of our locked hands. With my free hand I stroke his silky locks gently, torn between waking him and hanging on to the silence for a little bit longer. His shoulders rode the gentle rise and fall of his breaths. He must be exhausted to be sleeping so deeply.

My bandages were tight and covered me almost from head to toe. Flashes of the night began to swim through my mind. I couldn't put sounds and images together, they all swirled together in my mind. Hotaru screaming, Persona falling on top of me, the gun shots ringing through the forest, it was all so surreal.

"Natsume." I whispered.

He didn't stir so I gave his hand a squeeze before calling his name again. His head shot up and his eyes adjusted. He blinked at me with an expression of concern. After registering that I was indeed awake and speaking he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and sighed deeply.

"You idiot. Why did you leave?"

"Well it's nice to see you too. Glad to see my little near death experience did nothing to soften you." I mocked.

He pulled my hand to his lips and looked at me with that Hyuuga gaze. We sat in silence like that for a minute and he closed his eyes.

"I was scared." He said after another minute.

"You were?"

"I couldn't find you anywhere and when the cops showed up and the ambulance, I thought… I thought… God Mikan are you crazy?"

"You thought what?"

"I thought I wouldn't get to tell you…"

"Tell me what?"

"About Sumire and me."

"…Oh."

"There's nothing going on. I was pissed at you so I let her answer my phone when she crashed my place the other night. She followed me to the party and I knew what you would think so I just… It was stupid."

"You were that mad at me? You had to enlist Sumire to make me jealous?"

I don't think I've ever seen Natsume flustered. The averted gaze and pinkish tinge in his cheeks was enough to make my tears start to well up.

"What are you crying for? I said it was stupid." He said in and aggravated tone.

I shook my head, "I'm not sad. I'm actually happy. If you wanted me to be jealous then you still…"

I didn't know how to finish the sentence. Care about me? Of course he cared about me, but that's not what I wanted to say. Love me? That seemed like a stretch even after all we've been through. How could I tell Natsume that he loved me before he even said it himself? Especially after I rejected him. By his silence I knew he didn't know how to fill in my blank either. Is it supposed to be this hard?

"Do you remember the first time we met? I thought you were just some stupid klutz, but the way you looked, the way you screamed… It wasn't until later that I realized you must've thought I was him."

"I remember. My heart was pounding so hard, but then I saw your red eyes and knew you weren't."

"I didn't know why, but I never wanted you to look at me that way again."

"Is that why you tried so hard to get on my nerves?"

He kissed my hand and smirked, "I didn't have to try."

"Of course you didn't. You're just naturally irritating."

"And you're an idiot and stubborn and loud and a martyr and a nutcase-,"

"Please don't hold back it's not like I almost died or anything."

His face fell and he went silent, "Don't ever do that again."

He stood and brought his lips to mine and I realized how restricting my injuries are. I just wanted to pull him closer and kiss him until we were both breathless but my bandages kept me rigid. The kiss wasn't nearly as long as either of us wanted, but we managed to pull apart before my doctor came in to check on me.

As Natsume left to go get Hotaru, I pressed my warm palm to my tingling lips. It wasn't like any kiss we had shared before because for the first time everything is out in the open and Persona is gone.

Persona is gone.

My doctor went over the extent of my injuries and how long I'd have to be on bed rest. He told me there were detectives wanting to speak to me.

"I can tell them you're still resting." He told me with evident concern on her face.

I shook my head, "No it's okay. I'm ready."

The two male detectives came in after the doctor left and shut the door behind them. They looked intimidating in their black suits and guns and badges, but I didn't have anything to hide.

Not anymore.

"Start from the beginning." One of them said sitting down.

So I did. Every detail. Every horrible experience. Everything.

It wasn't like when I poured my heart out to Hotaru. I didn't cry and I didn't feel weak. Persona had lost and though I didn't feel like I won, I know I did. Youichi and I are free. There's going to be no more fear, no more nightmares, no more feeling like my life is being targeted by a jaded and cynical force.

So I gave them my full confessions.

Epilogue

"Natsume quit it!" I scream.

"Why? You said I could have it."

"One. I said you can have one."

Natsume lifts my box of cotton candies out of my reach. Carnivals with your boyfriend are supposed to be romantic, but when your boyfriend is stingy with the cutesy couple stuff, you end up with your candy being stolen.

Eight months ago I never imagined my life being this way. Eight months ago I didn't even know if I was going to make it through the night. After I told the detectives my story and got released from the hospital a week later, I was told that Persona's death was a result of self-defense and no charges were being filed against me. They maintained their professionalism with a few raised eyebrows here and there as I told them my story. In all their years of police work they had never had a case like mine. I didn't know whether to be flattered so I said nothing.

Both my grandfather and Yuka came to visit me after being notified by the police of my little rumble in the forest. My Jii-chan was pretty quiet and Yuka cried a lot. All in all it was pretty awkward experience. Yuka and Youichi meeting again. Hotaru meeting my mother. Natsume meeting my Jii-chan and Yuka. I shudder at the memory, but it's all behind us now.

Yuka is still living with Jii-chan and is helping raise money by selling floral arrangements and making Yukatas and Kimonos. She was so happy to no longer have tremors in her hands she vowed to do something with them every day. Al the sewing has been a good therapy for her as well.

Jii-chan still looks after her being as strong as he is, but they have a live-in nurse now, Claire, the same woman who helped my mother get back on her feet in rehab. She's really nice and not at all what I pictured for a half-British bed-nurse. She and Jii-chan got along instantly and are quite the mahjong playing pair.

I see them as much as I can with my best friend being in Tokyo and my boyfriend being groomed to take-over Hyuuga International. I'm spread pretty thin these days.

The news of Persona's death hit the tabloids like a hurricane. For weeks all the media outlets were clamoring for a statement from me, Hotaru, or anyone who might have been even remotely involved. I got offered a million yen to do a daytime talk show interview. The death of one of the most up and coming drug dealers involved in the kidnapping of not one, not two, but three of Nagoya's elite children sent the media into a frenzy. The question splashed on every page was "Who is Mikan Sakura?" and what was my connection to this wannabe drug lord and these elite families. The media managed to spin stories that were more gruesome than the truth.

Hotaru was supportive of my every decision. I wanted to carry on as normal so we did, but the flood of media hounds and paparazzi was too much to bare. So we hid. Mostly at Hotaru's mansion, but Youichi was going to miss too much school if we kept on like that. It would have been a waste of the beautiful summer months, so I did what I thought was the most logical: I agreed to the interviews.

I got dazzled up and shoved in front of more cameras than I could count. My personal ramblings about my life got published and put on shelves all over Japan. I became a bit of a sensation. A survivor. A runaway. Thrown into the public sphere to be questioned and prodded. It was actually kind of exciting and uncomfortable and nauseating, but like all sensations the buzz died down and the tabloids moved on, but my bank account was more than grateful for my fifteen minutes of fame. Hotaru told me I should invest. I hardly thought I had enough financial know-how to invest wisely so I put my money into something I started to believe in: myself.

With the help of my money savvy best friend we started a business. I was lucky. Running away from home had been the best thing I could've done for Youichi and myself, but not everyone gets as much luck as I have. I wanted to do something to reach out to those who haven't been as lucky as me. The same homeless street kids people like Persona target to be drug mules, lackeys, and clientele needed a bit of luck on their side too.

So we opened a shelter for kids and teens of unstable home lives. It's a refurnished old building with security guards, counselors, and nurses. It's more than a shelter really. We've created an organization that goes above and beyond for the kids who are brave enough to come to us for help. With sponsorship from the Imai, Hyuuga, and Nogi families, the Runaway Love Foundation skyrocketed to success. The mission to get kids off the street and out of abusive homes to put them on the path of healing and education was something everyone could get behind. The local authorities partnered with our counselors and medical staff to teach self-defense and establish an open-door policy that will allow anyone to come forward to put their attackers and abusers behind bars.

Runaway Love became the talk of the town and placed me in the dead center of another media circus, but this time I was full of pride and I was confident and not at all nauseous. I spread my message of love to anyone willing to hear to help anyone like me like Youichi even like Yuka, to know that the universe isn't a sadist and all you need to do to get help is ask. As CEO of a major corporation I'm pretty busy, but I still make time for my friends and family and squeeze in a cup of coffee at Imai's.

I never thought my life could be like this, but I know I'm never letting go.

"Oi baka, the food cart is that way." Natsume says.

"That's my line. You better replace my cotton candy."

I throw the empty carton in the trash and follow Natsume to the line. He takes my hand, but keeps his eyes on the vender. Youichi and Aoi are in the house of mirrors a few feet away I keep my eyes on the exit for his little tuffs of grey hair and her ebony pigtails. I let my eyes wander the crowd. It's a beautiful day to wander around a carnival all of the smiling faces and spinning rides. Behind a prize booth I can see a pair of dirty sneakers sticking out.

Now in my line of work I'm no stranger to paparazzi following me trying to get snapshots of Natsume and I being cutesy or Hotaru and I looking fabulous, but every so often I get a different kind of follower. I give Natsume's hand a small squeeze and give him a look he knows all too well. I walk casually to the prize booth and give the vendor some money to play the ring toss. I sink two out of the three hoops which is enough for a small dog. The small sneakered feet are still behind the booth. I give the dog a gentle toss so that it lands just past the feet. They disappear behind the booth in surprise. A second later a small hand reached out for the toy. Blue eyes looked cautiously around from behind caramel bangs as the small fingers closed slowly around the dog's stuffed tail. She caught sight of me and disappeared behind the booth again.

I knelt down as best I could in my cream sundress, careful to tuck the hem beneath my thighs.

"I seemed to have dropped my dog. You wouldn't mind grabbing it for me would you?" I called aloud.

I have no idea if the girl is still there, but something told me she was. She eventually emerged with the dog in hand. Her eyes were on the ground as she shuffled from behind the booth. Her clothes were dirty and her cheeks smudged. She held out the dog with her gaze on the crowd. I held my palm open to receive the dog, when she finally looked at me again I could see the faint darkness of a bruise healing around her left eye.

"You can keep this if you want. He looks like he could use a friend like you." I said.

She clutched the dog to her chest, but her face remained blank.

"What are you going to call him? He looks like a Buddy or maybe a Max."

She looked at the stuffed pup for a moment and then back at me, "Eddie."

"Eddie? That is a special name. Good choice. What about you? Do you have a name?"

"Sasori." She said.

"That's an even better name than Eddie." I said beaming.

That earned me a smile, "You're nice."

"I'd like to think so."

"You're Mikan Sakura. I saw your picture at the bus stop."

"That's me. Did you want to talk to me?"

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded up sheet of notebook paper. I unfolded it carefully. The writing was in small print and the words slanted as if written under duress. It read:

Dear Mikan Sakura,

My name is Kaori. This is my daughter Sasori. She loves painting and catching fireflies. She is my special light in this world. Things at home are not the best. My husband is out of work and things are getting worse all the time. I read your book and I admire your strength and spirit. I know about your Runaway Love facility and how you take care of a lot of children there. Miss Sakura this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I must do it for Sasori. I'm putting her on the 11:45 bus to Nagoya and I've given her specific instructions on how to find you. Please don't judge me too harshly. I just don't know what else I can do. I'm in no condition to travel. Please take care of my Sasori. Let her light find yours.

-Kaori

No matter how many of these letters, notes, or emails I read, the urge to cry is always very strong. Sasori can't be much older than seven or eight years old. She squeezed the dog to her chest and imitated barking noises. The letter was dated three days ago. Three days is much too long for a little girl to be all alone in the world. I fought back the tears and smiled as Sasori looked up at me.

"Well Sasori, it looks like it's my lucky day getting to meet you."

She looked at me and grinned widely at me. I took her small hand and found my way back to Natsume who had two boxes of cotton candy ready for us.

I wish I could say Sasori is the first little girl to find me like this or even the youngest child to find me at all, but a lot of caregivers and parents have found methods of getting their children to our facilities where we can examine, bathe, and care for them until a better home life can be established. I wish I could a lot of the stories end in a fairy tale manner, but the harsh reality of a lot of these situations is that we hold on to a lot of these kids till they go to University or go off to work and make it on their own. I wish I could say we have a one hundred percent success rate with every child or teen who comes here and none of them turn to drugs and abuse.

I wish I could say all of those things and my heartaches for every instance that I can't, but I choose to focus on these moments. When I have a tiny hand closed in mine and their face isn't scared or empty and just for a moment this is all they know. Stuffed animals and cotton candy treats.

I can't save everyone, but I did save myself and Youichi.

Nothing makes me happier than seeing bruises fade and happy smiles and laughter filling every room. Things aren't perfect there's always some snotty lawyer to battle or some abusive parent who wants to break down the doors to get their punching bag back, but I won't let that happen.

I promise at the end of my book to fight for a better world and though my confessions are of a scared little nobody who was hopeless without her friends, I found my strength and happiness in the darkest of places.

A new life was forged in the ruins of the old one and it's everything I needed because it brought me everything I could have ever wanted.

"Do you want to come with us Sasori? I have some people I really want you to meet."

Sasori's small smile grew into that wide grin I'm growing ever so fond of. She takes my hand more firmly this time and I can't think of anything to be upset about in this moment.

I am light and if you ever need to find your way, I'll be here. Just hop on a bus and head my way.

-M.S.

Thank you.

From every part of me: Thank you.

Thank you for sticking with me through the painfully long updates, the horrible editing, the typos, the cliffhangers, the tears, and the growth of my characters and myself as a writer. All of you are beautiful spirits that has lit up my world. When I started on this site I was a lonely girl who never thought she'd have much readers, but to grow from a few to so many and to see my work progress and to see all of you take notice and take time to read and comment, you have no idea what it means to me. You've given me so much and if there is ever anything I can do for you, drop me a line or follow me on tumblr send me an email even if it's just to say hi.

Thank you for being apart of my life and lighting up my world,

And as always

Lots of love,

Chi-chan