Shades of Gray – by Darlin

Part Four

xox

So. It didn't look like he was going to be able to keep his job. He thought this as he looked in through the large glass window of the X agency while stopped in traffic. The crazy lady was in there as usual and despite a lot of activity in there he could see her easily from his high seat in the doorless truck. He knew he couldn't keep stalling till she went to the bathroom every time he had to deliver a package there. He could see himself lurking around the door peeking in every few minutes to see if she'd left. Now that would qualify as stalker behavior. Luckily he'd managed to get the guy who wanted to play show and tell with her to do his deliveries the last two days when he saw there were packages for X but the guy said the twenty dollars he gave him for each package wasn't worth it.

"She's changed – used to be nice now she looks at you with those ice cold eyes of hers like I'm dirt. Me! And she doesn't even want me to get naked for her any more," he'd said and added – "She's a psycho, man!"

Sooner rather than later he was going to have to look for another job. There were other delivery services he could apply with but he had a feeling they all would end up delivering there some time or another unless the modeling agency went out of business which was possible because he'd never once seen a real model while he was in there. It was a shame really, having to give up his job. He liked being his own boss. He wasn't really but he was in his truck doing his own thing, taking his time or rushing to get off early, it didn't matter because no one was on looking over his shoulder telling him what to do. He wasn't trapped inside some stuffy office; it was freedom, freedom he was losing because of some psycho woman.

In a strange twisted kind of way he would miss her more than the job. Seeing her had been all he'd thought about whether it was the anticipation of seeing her or worrying that she was going to call the police on him. Well, the stress would be gone if nothing else.

xox

This was incredibly uncomfortable, Ororo thought.

She was backed into a corner of the office near the filing cabinets and away from the large front window, a man's hands on her body his lips so close to hers she felt inclined to kick him in the balls. It was intriguingly arousing and yet terrifying and weird. It was nothing remotely like the short handsome delivery man had done to her. She hadn't seen him for days and wondered about him. A new guy had come, plain and non descriptive, someone easily ignored because he didn't seem to expect to be noticed. She liked that, liked him but she still thought about the stocky guy. Where was he?

This delivery man who had her backed up in the corner was handsome too but he was too tall for her – when did that happen? Was there ever such a thing as too tall?

"Thought you could get away from me did you, sweet thing?" the guy said in a harsh loud whisper. Sweet thing?

He had her in his arms now pressed up against the hard edge of one of the filing cabinets. One of his hands was snaking up her thigh and going under her skirt so slowly it gave her goose bumps. It was night time but the office was well lit all except for that one corner. He was so huge compared to her and even though he was leaning over so that his head loomed just inches from hers, so close she could feel his breath tickling her cheek, his size intimidated her. She shuddered. The fear on her face wasn't pretend but real when his lips came even nearer to hers.

"What is the meaning of this? Unhand my secretary you brigand!"

Saved by Charles. She rolled her eyes then quickly closed them as she hugged herself tight. She would have sworn he was going to harm her, maybe even rape her. A sudden crash made her open her eyes. Charles had the upper hand over the taller man which made her almost giggle though she quickly covered her mouth and tried to look frightened. They rolled around on the floor until the lights came on suddenly and Lilandra, standing in the doorway screamed then the man leapt up and raced past Lilandra and out the door.

"It was a mistake, a misunderstanding I'm sorry Ororo you're still the most beautiful woman in the world to me!" – was his farewell.

One would have thought there should have been applause but instead the camera crew started to pack up for the night talking quietly amongst themselves. How she let Lilandra talk her into it she didn't know but X Woman, Lilandra's brilliant suggestion for the name of the series, debuted with a 2.8/9 share in the metered markets, actually better than its lead-in much to Ororo's astonishment. The show came on after another reality show about different kinds of people trapped in bizarre isolation situations, something really, really strange – she hadn't even known it existed before. She'd never cared for reality shows but the channels were full of them she'd found. Who watched these things?

Although when she sat down with a bowl of microwave popcorn and a soda one night checking out the competition she found several hours had passed while she'd been immersed in the life of Hulk Hogan. And who was he? She couldn't remember but the name, the look, all combined it was very familiar as if she'd seen him before, maybe when she was growing up as a kid. He was interesting with a nice body and his daughter sang well enough but it was the animals that had her sitting on the edge of her couch yelling at the TV. Neighbor's trying to force them to get rid of their beloved rooster! Shame on them. She wondered if the few people watching her show ever rooted for her the way she had for those little dogs.

Reality TV was more and less than she'd imagined it was but she also realized if you turned on a show and made the mistake of looking at the screen it would be days before you were able to turn it off and venture out into the real world. After all, which one of those desperate women was Flava Flav going to choose and how could you not watch to see if Whitney and Bobby were really together for love or bucks or something worse like shared flatulence humor when there was a marathon for those shows always running? She glanced around the office after this thought as if the people milling around could read her thoughts.

That was telling, to some degree. Here she was in her own reality series and she felt as disgusted as she had while watching some of those other shows. What was up with that girl with the perky nipples anyway? She shivered. Things had been a lot simpler before she'd taken this job. Now she was Lilandra's and Charles' bread and butter, the two models they had started out with were now just a drop in the bucket thanks to her show. Good looking people streamed in from the moment they opened shop nowadays. They'd had to change their hours in order to shoot the show. Lilandra was particularly insistent that no one prettier be on set while they filmed, didn't want them stealing her and Ororo's glory.

The good looking giant who'd felt her up? A model looking for a chance to act which explained his very bad acting. Reenacting all the things that had happened between her and the delivery guys with some creative enhancements from Lilandra's vivid imagination was so cheesy but the network loved it. She wondered how anyone would believe this was real. And yes she felt awful for doing the show. They were clearly cheating the audience whether it looked like a live show or not. It didn't matter that some of it had happened more or less the way it was depicted or that the audience wasn't really going to find out otherwise as Lilandra had insisted, what mattered was what they were doing was wrong.

When she'd watched the first show she'd felt ill. It was accurate enough, Lilandra's dialogue had been nixed thankfully, and they gave tidbits about restraining orders and warnings about abuse and how to protect yourself at the end of the show but some how it didn't feel right.

"All women need to know how to defend themselves, Ororo," Lilandra had gushed. "You lived through it but how many other's don't? Now they can learn what not to do."

"Everything I did."

"Well, he was studly. Even I was taken with him in the beginning. He wore those pants so well, so tight."

Ororo remembered. She remembered everything and it made her think he hadn't really acted like a stalker except that one time when he ran away after she sprayed him but maybe he'd run because she'd sprayed him. But then again who would run into traffic like that if you weren't guilty? She supposed anyone who had been sprayed with pepper spray and couldn't see clearly with pepper spray in their eyes as they were trying to get away from the crazy lady who'd sprayed them in the first place. None of it made much sense. She felt as if she'd made a very bad mistake.

xox

When he saw the latest reality TV show he couldn't believe it. He was in a bar a few blocks away from the agency drinking with some co-workers – he never went on Seventh any more if he could help it – and they were surfing channels looking for a game the majority wanted to watch. They'd skipped on to the next channel after a few seconds of ogling the woman with the big breast and behind to match with the long bleached white hair, they'd briefly debated the hair – real or weave? He'd asked them to turn back to the channel sure it was the woman from X. They wouldn't. He didn't want trouble. He was on first name basis with the police now, especially that one who liked to feel him up. She'd come by his apartment claiming she wanted to hear his side of it that night he'd gotten punched in the nose. What a joke, she'd just wanted to grope him leaving him feeling oddly dirty afterwards. How did things get so twisted?

He was sick of women. Well, he wasn't sick enough of them to switch sides but still – enough was enough. She was going to be famous and rich while he was living off his savings. He'd loved that job. She hadn't even tried to understand what he was saying, firing off her questions one after the other like a wannabe lawyer. He'd said he was sorry – hadn't he? Well, maybe not in so many words though he would've if she had known enough to shut the hell up. Yeah, she was a bitch. Bitch with a good right hook too.

xox

It was nerve racking, this false celebrity. When she went into the bar across the street, always looking to see who was there first, they hailed her as if she were a goddess with Lilandra and Charles as her pimps. It was discomforting. She took to wearing hats.

Sitting at a bar with a scarf covering her white eyebrows and hair and a hat sitting on top of that she nursed a strong drink. No one had recognized her and Lilandra and Charles were trying to work out a more exciting ending than the truth for the first season. They were hoping to get picked up next season and couldn't say the stalker had just up and disappeared. Neither of them noticed Logan come in.

Yes, yes, he admitted it freely this time – he had been following her again. No, he was still not a legitimate stalker and after all what made you a legitimate stalker? Okay maybe he was a stalker but only in a good way. There are always shades of gray. But seeing her become famous and rich was too much. It irked him to no end. Not only that but he knew guys would be hitting on her left and right and she might still be stupid enough to walk home alone. He was angry with her and himself for being jealous and still wanting to make sure she was okay. Yes, he knew he should go on with his life or even pack up and move back to Canada where he was from and forget the hell she'd put him through but he couldn't.

She had everything now and he didn't even have his job. He wished he had some way to disguise himself, could make himself taller at least. Wearing a hat was easy enough though his favorite Stetson stood out in a crowd like this, but his beard grew back so quickly it was more like a noon showdown instead of the usual five o'clock shadow.

It was a surprise to see her drinking and talking like nothing had changed. Everything had changed for her as well as him, for the better for her, for the worse for him. He wanted to bring her down.

"Whoa, hold up, bub," he mumbled under his breath realizing he was starting to sound very much like a stalker.

One last look he decided. One last look and then he'd go and never seek her out again. She was hiding her face when people went by he noticed. She didn't look happy with her sudden fame. She looked like she wanted to be any where but there but that was ridiculous. Wasn't it? Famous and rich was all anyone ever wanted. She really was stupid.

xox

Sometimes she felt like crying. Her fifteen minutes of fame, well her season of fame, was a nightmare. She couldn't go anywhere without having her face half covered with a scarf and a hat shading her eyes when inside and or sunglasses when outside. She was thankful she wasn't a movie star because she couldn't handle that. The paparazzi were all over her wherever she went, whenever she ventured out and she was only a minor celebrity of the moment. And now someone had leaked that the show wasn't really a reality show but something staged. They wouldn't stop badgering her, haunting her every move.

"Let them prove it!" Lilandra had shouted. "It happened to you, Ororo. It was truly your odyssey, your ordeal."

And to the press – "X-Woman is the true story of our model's life, of a stalkee's real life ordeal. We have a dedicated police officer who will vouch for us; she assisted us in getting this order of restraint which completely validates us. We're indignant that people would call this a farce, staged indeed!

Ororo has suffered, suffered as much as Charles and I have. You do not know how difficult it has been confronting this man. Charles has the bruises to show for it! And surely you must understand it is a difficult subject for us but we wish to help millions of women who suffer just as Ororo does. Stop the stalkers!" She ended with fist raised high above her head. There was a general round of applause from the gullible.

Her new catch phrase "stop the stalkers" caught on. Stop the stalkers people would say, raising their own fist whenever they saw the two of them together. Ororo wished they were going after worse criminals. For some time now she'd begun to feel Logan wasn't a criminal at all. No, if anyone was guilty it was her, she was the criminal. Maybe all he had wanted was to get to know her. She still didn't know his name; there had been no restraining order. Instead they'd gotten one for the model playing the part of stalker. She wouldn't let Lilandra get one for the real so called stalker because after their talk she was sure he wasn't one at all.

xox

When the receptionist for the new delivering company he was with had told him a woman was waiting for him in the front office he'd thought it was a practical joke, something to mess with the newbie but there she was, the star herself in the flesh. How the hell had she found him?

"Hi, I'm Ororo."

He thought he was dreaming and smiled. She held her hand out and he woke up.

"I know I'm Logan."

"I know."

"How did you find me?"

"I have connections now."

And that was supposed to mean what exactly? Was she bragging?

"You're . . ." he paused, started to reach out and take hold of her hand but stopped, his hand dangling in the air between them.

"You weren't stalking me were you?" she asked needing to know the answer.

The way he looked at her and then shook his head resolutely told her she'd been right to come. She took one of his hands in both of hers and held it. He looked down at their hands, his pale under his tan, hers golden brown and then looked back at her.

"I saw your show." He had. He'd been determined to find it and had spent all of a week looking for it. Not knowing her name hadn't made it easy. After seeing the show he knew he'd never forget it.

"Oh," Ororo said. Not good. Maybe she shouldn't have come.

"You should've hired the real deal."

"You're . . . not angry?"

"Angry at what? The show's so funny I can't stop watching it."

She was appalled and pulled her hand away. "Funny in a good way or a bad way?"

"Well, you need acting lessons and that friend of yours she needs some worse than you. She's way over the top and when the hell did that old man kick my ass?"

"It's . . ."

But he was laughing and she smiled, glad he was taking this so well.

"I'm gonna sue you for everything you're worth," he said when the laughter died.

He was serious and why not? It was fair in his opinion, all's fair in love and war and this was decidedly not love and most definitely war.

His hands grasped hers, his lips pressed tightly together as he studied her for a moment. She didn't try to pull away though she glanced at the receptionist briefly.

"It might be a funny show but its still libel," he said.

She should have been scared – terrified actually but she wasn't. She didn't know if it was because the show had opened her eyes to reality or if it was just plain idiocy. Had this man wanted to harm her before he would have, he'd had plenty of opportunities she told herself.

She leaned against him without realizing it. Logan met her half way and their lips met. There was nothing polite or meek about it. The kiss, too passionate, scared her and she started to pull away, her hands pushing against his chest but he caught her, pulled her closer, his arms tight around her. She moaned, he groaned. She pressed closer.

"Still going to sue me?" she asked with a smug smile when she'd caught her breath.

"Hell yes," he said and kissed her again.