So for some reason, I really had trouble writing this chapter. I'm very sorry for the wait. I hope this holds you until I get the next one up (I'm working on it now, so it shouldn't take that long) Don't be mad about where this is heading, it will all make sense in the end. I promise.
Okayy, well here goes nothing.
PREVIOUSLY: "Yes." It barely comes out as a whisper. He moves closer again. "You must do everything I say, no matter what, no matter when I say it. No arguing. And no trusting anyone with the truth, but me. Understand?" I nod. "Say it Clary. I won't break the spell unless you actually say it." He moves even closer and grabs my face in both hands.
"I understand. You are in charge. I will do what you say and trust no one but you. But how are you…" I start to ask but his lips are crushing against mine.
My eyes instantly close and I lean into him while he pulls me closer. My hands go to the back of his neck and I play with his hair. It's as soft as silk. This is the best feeling ever. He deepens the kiss and pulls me closer so that I'm now straddling his hips. At that point, I tug on his hair and he opens his mouth more and I invade, as he does the same. If I knew making out felt this good, I would have done it a long time ago. He's tugging on my still braided hair and I love it. I pull his hair to move his head to the side and start to kiss his neck. He lets me for a minute, but then pushes me off, stands up and starts to pace. I'm sitting on the bench, staring at him, hurt and confused.
"How do you feel now?" he asks, without stopping or looking at me.
"Umm, fine. I'm sorry if I did something wrong. That was the first time I have ever done that." I say looking down at my feet. But I notice he stopped pacing.
"That was your first kiss? Well, besides what happened earlier." He asks with pain in his voice. All I can manage is a nod. "Well, for a first timer it was pretty good." He said with a shrug. "How do you feel about Cam?" he asks, finally sitting back down, but leaving space between us. The question catches me off guard and I have to think.
"Umm. Nothing." I say as I shrug. "And this picture?" He holds up the picture of Cam again. "I still don't remember drawing it, but I feel, I don't know, indifferent about him I guess. I don't wanna draw him again, if that's what you mean." I just look at him. He's thinking about something, so I try to read his mind. I see my face, flushed and glowing, then the static reappears and I'm being stared at.
"No mind reading, Clary. No one needs to suffer along with me. But good news, we broke the spell." He gives a half smile and pulls out his phone and checks the time, it's almost nine. "Go get ready. Class starts at ten. And remember, you are suppose to love Cam. So act like it. Arianna has already seen the picture, right?" He looks at me and I nod. "Okay. Well," he starts and flips to my picture of him, and tears it out. "What are you doing?" I ask him as he folds the paper, and puts it in his pocket. "No one can see that you're drawing people other than Cam. Now when Arianna asks where you were, you can tell her you were up here drawing the fountain." He says as he flips to the picture of the fountain I did earlier.
"Umm okay. Thanks Jace." I say as I grab my pencil bag, and Airy's ipod and he holds my notebook up to me. I take it without touching him. He just stares at me as I head to the door. I turn and notice he hasn't moved from the bench.
"Aren't you coming? You don't want to be late either." I say with a laugh.
"Not yet. I have to take care of some stuff first. Now go, or you will miss breakfast." He says and points to the door.
"Okay, whatever Jace. See you later, I guess." I say as I leave the greenhouse. Once the door is closed and I know he can't see me, I lean against the door to take a deep breath. Unknowingly, my hand reaches up and touches my lips; they are soft and swollen. With a sigh, I head back down the stairs and towards my room. Once inside, I notice Airy spiking her hair.
"Where have you been?" She asks as she looks at me with concern.
"I couldn't sleep so I went to the greenhouse to draw. See?" I show her the picture of the fountain.
"Nice. Now get ready so we can meet everyone for breakfast." She turns back to the mirror to finish her hair. I change into some jeans and a tee-shirt. Brush my hair and just pull it up into a pony tail. Once ready, she grabs her backpack and I grab my bag and we head next door to grab Izzy and Mia and find Luce is already there. Then we all go downstairs to the dining room and meet the boys. Once we ate, we all head to class.
I find myself sitting between Airy and Izzy, but I'm staring at the door, waiting to see Jace again.
"Looking for someone?" Izzy asks.
"Umm, no. Just staring. Sorry lost in my world again." I say with a small smile.
"Mmhmm sure. Ohh there he is." She points to the door and Cam walks in. When he sees me, he smiles and heads towards the empty seat in front of me. Once in the seat, he turns and says hello to Izzy, turns the other way and says hello to Airy, where they exchange a weird look, but neither of them are thinking about anything. Then he looks as me, and I involuntarily blush and look down.
"Good morning, Red. How was your first night? Have fun with the girls?" He asks in a voice that sounds like velvet. I look up and see those green eyes staring at me. It's very intense and I'm thankful that Hodge chose that moment to start class. I just shrug and smile and he turns around to face the front.
A moment later, there is a piece of paper on my desk. I open it and see its from the green eye devil himself. 'You didn't answer my questions.'
I sigh and reply. 'Sorry class started. My night was fine and yes I had a lot of fun last night. Looked like you had fun when Airy tackled you in the hall.' I was just going to lay it on his desk when I remember I'm suppose to love him, so I lay it on his shoulder, and I touch his neck. He jumps a little and I giggle.
He takes the note, leaving his hand on mine for a moment. He reads it and a few seconds later, there is a hand holding a note, laying on my leg under my desk. I want to push him off, but decide to just take the paper and he drops his hand.
I open the note and read 'I'm glad the girls are treating you well. And I would have liked it more if it was you who tackled me. By the way you have very soft hands. And your giggle is adorable. You should do that more often. I'd also like to be the one who makes you do it. ;) How about pizza this weekend? I'll show you the town.'
I sigh and Airy looks at me. I smile and point to Cam and she laughs. I get an annoyed look from Hodge and quickly look down and start to reply my answer. 'The girls are very nice. And don't get your hopes up, I don't think I can tackle you. You are way too big for me. ;P And thanks, I moisturize. You're very confident, aren't you? But yes, I would love some pizza and depending on how good the pizza is will determine if you show me the town. ;D' I hand him the note the same way, this time, rubbing his neck a little with the back of my hand.
In less than a second, his hand and my note is back on my leg. I decide to really get him and hold his hand for a moment and he squeezes my knee. I take the note and read 'it's a date, Red. ;D Ohh, what's your number? so I know when to pick you up from your room.' Shit. I really need a phone. Hopefully Airy took it upon herself to get me one. I take an extra sheet of paper and ask her. She looks at me and once again I just point. She laughs and replies and hands me back the note. I look and find that she did, but wonder if it's because she is doing it as a friend or because of some evil plan. I just look at her and mouth 'thanks' and smile. She included the number in my note so I copy it in Cam's note and also say 'I am trying to learn. Stop distracting me mister. I mean it. *I'm making a very serious face here Cam*' and hand it back to him.
He laughs and writes once more. I sigh and read 'But I like distracting you but since you made a serious face (which I will want to see later) ill stop….until lunch.' I just put the note in my bag and try to pay attention to Hodge. He talking about wars, and I decide to draw. As I get my notebook out of my bag I notice that Jace isn't here.
Well, that's how it goes the rest of the week. Drawing in the greenhouse in the morning, hoping Jace shows up, which he never does, Breakfast with the girls and their guys. Flirting via notes with Cam in class. Cam joins us at lunch and even walks with me and Airy to our room after class. Then throughout the rest of the evenings, more flirting with Cam but via text. Thanks to my new phone. Airy even put her music on it so I don't have to steal her ipod anymore.
All the girls come over before dinner to gossip. Apparently, Cam and I are hot news, and everyone is waiting to see if we become official. I guess he had an on again off again thing with Aline but decided he just wanted the off part. She hates me, but I don't really care, she's not that friendly anyways. And I am perfectly happy with my small group of friends, since I can't trust anyone and the one person I can trust has disappeared.
Jace hasn't been in the greenhouse or in class all week. I haven't even seen him in the workout room, where I hear that's where he spends a lot of time. It's like after our kiss, he ran away. But that's crazy, right? He said he would look out for me and help me with this whole 'Cam' thing. I have even tried to hear his thoughts but nothing, not even the static I get when he blocks me.
It's finally Friday and the girls and I are all getting ready to go out. The girls all have dates, except Airy, she's going to the club to try to pick up a girl. As she says it, she needs laid. At six o'clock, we all meet the boys in the lobby, the girls all run and hug their boyfriends like it's been days instead of hours since they seen each other. And then there's Cam, leaning against the wall; arms crossed in front of him, one foot propped on the wall, looking down.
Airy walks over to him and kicks the foot that is on the wall, he looks up, sees me and smiles. He whispers something to Airy, she just nods and looks at me. Then he starts towards me, and I get an uneasy feeling. I can't explain it, but something isn't right. I ignore the feeling, while I run though everyone's thoughts. Everyone is excited about tonight; the plan is each couple will go get dinner, then we all meet up at a bar, for dancing.
I calm down when Cam reaches me, something about being close to him is calming. I hate the thought but let it pass. I have to be falling for this guy, so I smile the biggest girly smile I can manage. He takes that as an invitation and hugs me. Full on picks me up, and spins me hug. I laugh as he sets me down and he just rubs my cheek with my thumb. For some reason, I like the feeling.
We all leave the institute and head towards downtown. It's a ten minute walk and we all talk about where we are going to eat and the girls inform me the club we are going to is epic. Just great I think, I can't dance. This should be fun.
We all split up and Cam takes me to a nice pizza place and we just talk. Talk about me and my favorite things and him and his. He doesn't hit on me or make me feel uncomfortable but he is a gentleman. I find I am enjoying myself. After dinner, we just walk around and he shows me the music store, the book store, and the library among other places. After about a thirty minute walk we meet up with everyone else at the club.
Izzy's dad owns the place, along with several others throughout the country, so we skip the line and get right in. Everyone heads up the back stairs that lead to a VIP section, that has no one in it.
"It's my personal section. Daddy keeps it for me and my friends, to try to keep us out of trouble." Izzy informs me as we take our seats.
"Yeah. Like that ever works." Simon says as he pulls her in his lap.
"Anyways, lets hit the bar." Mia says as she pulls me and Izzy up with her.
"Umm, we are all underage. Some of us aren't even 18 yet." I say, kind of concerned. Not that I'm a stick in the mud or anything, but I have never been one for parting. But this crowd looks like they can hold a lot. I have yet to test my limit. I'm not so pumped about this night anymore.
"Ohh. Don't worry. We have our own bartender who doesn't care. And daddy takes care of us not getting in trouble. Just let loose Clary." Izzy says as she takes me to the side of the bar and tells the bartender to keep them coming.
We all get different drinks, and try each others. I end up with a drink called 'Blue Goo'. Its UV Blue vodka and Sprite. It's pretty good. After about twenty minutes of us all talking about dinner and such, everyone wants to dance.
The fact that I'm feeling a little tipsy, helps my confidence and I decide I won't fight the girls and go to dance with them. The guys stay at the table for awhile and watch. As we all head to the floor, I notice Cam hasn't taken his eyes off me and I blush. Its then that I decide I like him and will enjoy this night, as much as I can.
After about thirty minutes of us girls dancing none stop, I need another drink. I get back to the table and down my drink.
"Easy there Red." Cam says with a smirk.
"How about another Cam?" I say as I lean into him a little and he puts arm around my waist as he stands up.
"Your wish is my command." He says in my ear and I giggle. He leads me over to the bar, never taking his hand off of me, and orders two shots of some black liquor. He hands one to me and takes the other for himself, still having his arm on me.
"Bottoms up Red." He says and taps his glass against mine. I tilt my head back and take the shot in one gulp. After I slam the cup down, that earns a chuckle out of him, I drag him to the dance floor.
It's time to forget. It's time to not worry. It's time to not let anything bother me. It's time to let loose.
It's time to not be me.
It's time to make bad choices.