25th May 2009

Their kissing is rough and messy- far rougher and messier than it should be considering that they're in the middle of the apartment and haven't made it to her room. One of his hands is on her jaw, the other's tangled in her hair. She slips her hands into his back pockets and squeezes his buttocks.

"Jesus, Barney, they're firm,"

"Yeah," he boasts, snapping his teeth together by her ear and digging his hips into hers.

"Nnnf,"

Then the door rattles. They freeze for a second, and then Barney jumps away from her, skidding between the couch and the piano and ducking behind the couch's arm.

"Forgot my wallet," grumbles Ted, bustling into the apartment.

"Ted," Robin breathes, blinking, "Um, yeah, sure,"

She glances at Barney, curled behind the couch making Oh my God! eyes at her. Ted crosses over from the front door and Barney crawls on his front round couch so he's between it and the television.

"Shit," he whispers when Ted disappears into his bedroom.

"Shut up," she hisses back, "Don't breathe,"

Barney takes an exaggeratedly huge gasp of air and balloons his cheeks like a little kid. Robin glares at him.

"I'll be back in a couple of hours," announces Ted, reappearing and pocketing his wallet, "Bye,"

As Ted heads to the door, Barney shuffles back around to the piano side of the couch. Ted leaves and the door clicks shut.

"Woah," Barney exhales dramatically.

"I know- we- that was a really-"

"We were nearly caught," he says, failing to hide the grin on his face.

"It's not funny! Not hot caught; trouble caught. 'What do you two think you're doing?' caught. Looks-of-condescension-from-Lily-and-Ted-caught. Ruining caught,"

"Alright, alight, I'm sorry," he says, scrambling to his feet.

"We need to be more careful,"

"We're always careful!" Barney protests, brandishing a packet of condoms from his pocket.

"Careful not to get caught, idiot,"

"Alright, alright, I am sorry. We'll say nothing is allowed to happen in the apartment outside of your bedroom,"

"You think you can do that?" she deadpans.

"Challenge accepted,"

"It'd be better if we avoided doing anything up here at all-" Robin continues.

"Thank you so much for barging in, Ted," Barney mutters darkly.

"-so shall we agree we can only hook up at your place?"

"If that's what you want," he concedes.

"It's not what I want but it'd be safest. Nothing outside of your apartment,"

"Can't we finish here first?" Barney whines, "Ted's not going to come back for something again- we've got a couple of hours until he comes home,"

She pulls him back against her and kisses him again, then mutters, "Yeah. But then that's it- this time is the last time in here- agreed?"

"Okay. Deal,"

"Deal,"

The agreement lasts three days.

Fin.

Thanks for reading. I'm working on a longer B/R between-4-and-5 story. It'll be up soon and will probably be entitled Overnight, so look out for it if you're enjoying this story.