Chapter 3

They stood there, staring at each other, taking in how the other person had changed since they'd last seen them. To Lee, Carley seemed so different since he last saw her five years ago. She was still as small as he remembered, her hair just as short and her eyes just as green, but there was something different about the way she carried herself. She was no longer the friendly yet teasing best friend from high school nor was she the mature mother figure that dragged him and Kenny home after a drunken night out. She wasn't the person who, along with his mother, took his ex-wife dress shopping for their wedding, she wasn't the same girl who had the third dance with him at his wedding, the first two being his wife and his mother, nor was she the girl who bought almost a roomful of baby supplies for them when Clementine was born. She was like a stranger to him, her stance nervous, scared, and maybe even a little bit defensive.

To Carley, Lee seemed to be an entirely different person as well. He still looked healthy, but there was a maturity in him that she hadn't seen before. He seemed more serious now, but given the current situation and recent events that's to be expected but there was also a hint of sadness and anger that she had never seen in his eyes before, and the thought that it was directed at her made her even more nervous than she already was. Her breathing got slightly harder and for a few moments she thought about running away but she stood her ground, determined to see this through.

It was Carley who broke the awkward silence first. "Uh, can I come in?"

"Oh, uh, yea come on in." He replies, moving aside and opening the door farther so she can step in. Carley walked in and looked around the room as Lee took her jacket to hang it up. It was a medium sized living room with a small amount of furniture, just a couch and matching chair, a side table by the door and next to the couch, and a television with a lamp in the corner next to it. On top of the television were a few small pictures of a few people that Carley had recognized. She sat down on the couch and when Lee joined her their silent awkward game continued.

"Uh, so, how have you been?" Lee finally got the courage to ask.

"I've been okay. You?"

"Okay. So what have you been doing for the last 5 years? Gosh, it's been so long." Lee's eyes glazed over and he leaned his head back slightly, thinking of old times.

"I've been around, still working in journalism. I've actually been living here in Savannah the whole time. What about you? I heard that you were teaching history at UGA."

"Yea, we moved from Macon to Athens a little after I lost touch with you. A lot of, things happened though and we decided to move here." Carley noticed the sadness and anger in him intensify as he talked and she mentally chided herself.

"Dammit, I didn't want him to get upset. Just change the subject, act like you don't know what happened and try again later."

"I thought you would stay in Macon forever." She joked. "Oh! Is this Clementine? She's gotten so big." Carley said as she walked over to the pictures that were sitting on top of the TV. In one of the pictures was what looked like a seven or eight year old Clementine in a yellow sundress being held by her mother Sarah. Lee had tried time and again to get rid of that picture only to stare at it for hours and end up in a worse mood than when he started. If anything, he kept it only to remember his daughter and his life during a much happier time.

"Yea well, it has been awhile. I think she was only two the last time you've seen her." Lee chuckled, walking to stand next to her.

"Where is she anyway?"

"In Macon with my parents. She's spending the weekend with them."

"Oh, tell them I said hi the next time you see them. How is everything up there? Is the pharmacy still running?" Carley asked as she went to go sit back down.

Lee followed and sat back down before answering her. "Yea, they still run it. Bryan's actually working their when he's not in class now too."

"Really? What school does he go to?"

"He's getting a BA in nursing at Macon State."

"That's great." It was then that Carley suddenly started giggling.

Lee gave her a confused look. "What is it?"

"I sorry, I was just thinking back to when we were in high school and had to tutor those kindergarten kids. You got so scared every time one of them cried and I had to console them for you. It's strange to think you're a dad now." She said through her laughter.

"Hey! What about you? You got so frustrated whenever they got to rowdy and I had to calm them down for you. I thought you were about to pull your hair out."

Carley sighed after finishing her laughing fit. "I guess Kenny was the better tutor. His kids never gave him trouble."

"That's because he never actually taught them anything. He just let them do whatever they wanted."

"You're dad thought I was the better teacher though." Carley teased, lightly poking him in the arm.

"Doesn't make him right." Lee retorted which made Carley start laughing again.

They continued like this for hours, reminiscing about the past and the stupid things they did with Kenny throughout high school and even a little into college. The defensive and guarded stranger that Lee saw earlier seemed to have disappeared and Lee could finally see the old Carley that he knew so well. She was relaxed, playful and she even had the light in her eyes that made him smile whenever he looked into them. He knew then that she was only acting the way she was earlier out of nervousness.

"Thanks." Carley said as Lee handed her a mug of hot coffee.

"Heh, still addicted to caffeine I see."

"Shut up." Carley replied playfully and took a sip.

"To be honest, I really missed you." Carley froze, almost choking on her coffee. She lowered her cup and looked at him, trying to think of what to say and giving him a small smile.

"I missed you guys too. I haven't even talked to Kenny and Katjaa yet and I don't think I'd even recognize Duck."

"Maybe next time they can stop by."

"Well, I still live here so I can come by anytime."

"That's great. It's nice to have you around." Lee was fully smiling at her now, but Carley's mind was beginning to race as she prepared for what she was about to say.

"Okay Carley, just lead into it, act like you don't know. Let him tell you." She thought as she looked down into her drink.

"So, how's Sarah? What happened with her?" She finally asked, trying to play dumb. She looked up at Lee and that his smile had been replaced with a hard look. She wished she had never opened her dumb mouth.

Lee sighed. "You can quit the act Carley, I know you heard what I did." He growled, his voice filled with anger.

"Shit, I'm so stupid. I didn't want to hurt him!" She sighed in defeat.

"Yea, you're right. But I just couldn't believe it. I didn't think it was true and that's not the reason I came over here." She said, growing tense as she noticed the anger and sadness come back into Lee's eyes again.

"Then why did you come over?"

Carley took a deep breath. "I wanted to make sure you're okay. You were always there for me and I missed everyone and I just wanted to help you in any way I could. And I really did want to see you again." Lee's eyes softened as she talked, taking to heart how much Carley actually cared.

Lee leaned his head back against the couch closed his eyes. "What happened Carley?"

"What do you mean?"

"What happened with us? Why did you stop talking to me and Kenny? Why did we drift apart?"

Carley stared down at the couch, unable to answer him. "I really don't know."

They sat there in silence, the awkwardness and tension from before filled the room again. Lee didn't want that though. He liked having Carley back and he didn't want to push her away again. It was nice having a piece of his past that didn't cause him pain. So he broke the silence.

"It was an accident, I didn't mean to kill him."

"What?" Carley turned her head back up in shock. She didn't expect him to say anything at all to her.

"I got sick one day on my way to class. Cancelled it and went home. Found them in bed together. I was so angry, I saw red. I started screaming at her, yelling anything that came into my head. Then the guy tackled me. I don't know how long we fought, how many times I hit him or how many times he hit me, I just remember that at some point someone had taken out a gun. I kept it hidden in the house in case anything bad happened. To be honest I don't even remember how the gun got in either of our hands, just that he got it first, I wrestled for it and before I even knew what happened, I had killed him. His name was Sam." Lee wasn't even facing Carley now, his eyes were straight forward, in a trance. Carley stared at him, shocked and saddened by what he was telling her.

"I was so mad and I can't imagine how much pain she felt. I can't believe I actually killed someone. I took a life, I took someone's life away from them. I didn't have to either. I keep asking myself what I could've done better, why I had to shoot him. The more I think about it, the more I keep thinking I'm a monster. Even though I was defending myself, even if everyone sees it that way, I still killed someone. I'm still a monster." There was silence after he finished. Carley didn't want to say a word, afraid to disrupt him.

"No you're not. You're not a monster Lee." She finally said. Lee opened his eyes and looked at her. She looked close to tears, her eyes almost matching the same sadness in his.

"You're not a monster Lee. You defended yourself, you had the right to defend yourself. It's a basic human instinct. There was nothing you could've done better in a situation like that. You did what you felt you needed to in order to stay alive. There is nothing you can change about that. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't..." She was crying now, unable to finish her sentence.

This time it was Lee who was in shock. He didn't know why she was crying, why what he said had affected her so much. He scooted over to set her cup down for her and rub her back as she let her tears out. When she was able to stop crying, Lee gave her a tissue to wipe away her tears.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be crying." Carley choked out embarrassed.

"I should be the one who's sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry." Lee said, still rubbing her back.

"No, it wasn't you. I just, I, well, it wasn't you okay? I just, get like that." The tension seemed to have left the room after the little outburst and both Carley and Lee felt relieved at being able to get what they wanted off of their chests. Lee stood first holding his hand out for Carley to take it.

"It's gotten really late. It's already 9pm." Lee pointed out, looking at the clock.

"You're right, it has. I should get going." As Lee walked her to the door and got her coat for her, a feeling of longing overcame Carley. It was almost as if she didn't want to leave.

"Thanks for today Carley. I realized how much I missed having you around." Lee said smiling as he handed Carley her jacket. Carley took it, smiling back at him to show that she was okay after her small crying session.

"I missed you too. I really am glad to be back." She replied as she put on her jacket. Once she had her jacket fully on, Lee pulled her into a hug. She returned it, feeling a warmth she never felt before.

"Are you busy tomorrow?"

"No why?"

"I was wondering if you would like to come over again. This time Kenny will probably be over so you could see him too." For some reason, Lee's offer made Carley smile widely on the inside but she appeared calm on the outside.

"I'd like that."

"Okay. Well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you." Lee watched Carley leave and didn't close his door until she had driven off in her rental car. As she drove, she reviewed everything that had happened in the last 6 hours. Smiling, she continued her trip home.

"That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

A/N Thanks again for the reviews! I hope all the information in this chapter wasn't too confusing!