Angel Rule Number 46: Glove Slap
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers. That goes to Nintendo. I own the 100 rules for heaven though and any OCs from heaven such as the Angel Assembly and royal bodyguards. I finally own all characters from the Golden Land.
Summary: The Angel Assembly took the virginity test behind Pit's back and tested him negative resulting in some backlash between the higher-ranking angels and Pit. Of course due to Dark Pit being tested positive (also behind his back), the angels decide to get rid of Pit by forcing Dark Pit into a marriage with someone of a higher ranking that could knock Pit off his position. Angered that his twin was brought into this, Pit goes to Chrom and begs him to have his daughter married off to Dark Pit. Normally he would disagree but the angel suitors decided to spy on Dark Pit and caught him with Lucina…who they mistake for Marth…
Pairing: Lucina/Pittoo, Ike/Pit, Ganondorf/Palutena, Henry/Female Robin and Robin/Shulk with a joke of Marth/Pittoo
Rated: T (for teen)
Genre: Romance, Drama, Humor, Friendship and Family
Warning: Swearing, gender bender jokes, forced marriage, violence and unintentional OOC
All right, I finished both the Pitcest Valentine Day fic and part 3 of 3 of Angel Slap. Enjoy the conclusion!
The angels took the glove slap duel incredibly seriously with how they spent the entire night preparing the arena and equipping themselves with the best weapons and armor around despite the fact that originally, it was only going to be one girl against 101 angel male suitors. Gaston thought his plan was brilliant and that Pit would see the last of his days despite the rest of the Angel Assembly members actually preparing to kick Gaston out seeing that Pit would probably have a plan of his own to counteract the buff angel's risky act.
It was only Gaston who was surprised the next day that Pit indeed came prepared.
"Remember Gaston, the rule says family is allowed to participate. You'll be fighting an entire army of family in arms from Lucina's world." Pit said with the smug look to counter the one Gaston flashed him yesterday. "Hopefully you give the angels here some entertainment. You weren't the best at fighting."
"Why you…" Gaston stopped himself realizing that it was only Pit and Dark Pit that arrived first with one hour to spare. "Heh…heh heh…doesn't matter. If that she-man doesn't revive in the afternoon, then she'll die and it won't matter." He looked over to Dark Pit who had to arrive early to be "presentable" to the audience. Pit forgot to bring this up to him hence why they both had to rush out early without anyone following them. "Heh…the clone is too trashy to be fought over."
"Then why bother with the duel?" Pit asked very angry with Gaston. "This could have been avoided if you just stayed out of my private life!"
"Ha! With how you break the laws, there's no point!"
Dark Pit remained quiet in order to not give Gaston any ammunition like he did yesterday. This duel only happened because he opened his big mouth, so even if he had insults hurled at him, he would grin and bear it. Pit wouldn't even let Gaston near him when he tried to go over to the dark angel to get a better look at whom he was going to marry.
"Where is Vitus?" Pit questioned. "If you want him dressed up for this occasion before the Golden Land takes over, it better be him."
"P-Pit…"
"Oh? He's over there. Would you like me take your clone to him?"
"Hell no! I will never let Pittoo out of my sight if it means protecting him from you!" Pit declared as he quickly slipped his hand into the black angel's. "Pittoo, follow me."
Dark Pit gave small recognition to Pit's orders as he kept his head down refusing to look Gaston in the eye. It wasn't just the main suitor that he was trying to avoid but the other angels in the crowd too. Angels hated being late so many already had their food ready in the stands of Lucifer like this was some football game. They probably shared the same opinion Gaston had of him…an inferior clone that could be insulted and wedded to without an opinion. This was the opposite of freedom…and Pit knew this very well hence why he was trying to get things ready…
"Vitus, give me a mask and your best fancy tunic and make it snappy!"
"P-Pit…why do I need a mask…"
"So you don't have to look at the other angels while we're waiting for Lady Palutena and everyone else."
"W-Wha…"
"…This is my fault. I dragged you into this, so I'll make it as painless as possible."
"But Pit…I opened my big mouth when I didn't know the situation…"
"It's my fault for not explaining the situation to you Pittoo. I have a bad habit of not telling you the most important things like this and I'm paying for it. The last thing I want is to see you suffer."
Dark Pit wanted to take back those words yesterday. He didn't mean to shout that Pit didn't care about his wellbeing. That was the exact opposite and even though he hadn't apologized, Pit was going out of his way still to be an overprotective big brother.
"Pittoo, please don't apologize for me being careless. I probably needed you to tell me that."
"But it's not true!" The dark angel shouted forcing the two to stop. "Everything you do is for me and you have been doing this ever since I was created! You saved my life from the Chaos Kin when it didn't benefit you! You pleaded for Master Hand to let me into Smash knowing everyone would look at you the wrong way for allowing his replica into the most highly anticipated tournament of all times and even after I said those stupid things you're trying to soften my pain! I don't need it Pit! You don't have to do this…Luci doesn't have to do this…"
"She will win." Pit said simply. "I know you have high hopes for her."
"…But you…"
"I'm going to make things right in any way I can Pittoo. I had been hiding from that virginity test for more than 500 years, but only now did I screw up. I'm not going to blame you for dropping my guard. I'll take responsibility. But promise me this." He turned to his twin with a solemn expression. "Should Lucina fail and you are to be wedded by force…run. Get away from the heavens and the Golden Land for how far your feet will take you and never come back…"
"…Pit…"
"I don't know what will happen to me…but of course if you run off then they can't use you to get me. I'll do all in my power to reverse the damage, but I'll be banished from heaven for helping you escape…but I guess my luck ran out."
"…Stupid."
"Huh?"
"Stupid. Now who thinks Luci will fail? She'll win and we can just watch Gastard and those suitors cry and beg for mercy! You won't have to think of these bad futures! We're just going to cheer for her!"
Pit blinked before he smirked. "Yeah…of course. Sorry."
"And that means I'm going to have to get dressed, right?"
"Yeah?"
"…I can handle being alone for a couple of minutes. You go by us some snacks for the match. Luci is going to win so we might as well enjoy it."
Pit didn't really like the idea of leaving his twin alone, but who was he to refuse getting good food. He was a spectator, so he might as well spectate with his twin and the green haired Goddess.
Gaston did not want Lucina to show up at all. He would never admit how he miscalculated someone finding out about the loophole. If Pit didn't tell her then Palutena would have and he wished that she had no power whatsoever. If Pit were gone, then she would lose any power left on the angels. It was all about the angels being free from the divine beings and Pit was the last thing connecting them now.
Palutena was such a nuisance because she got her other Goddess friend Rosalina to help teleport all the fighters from the human realm to heaven with no problems on their end. The only Smashers who were allowed to come to the heavens and watch in person besides the two Goddesses and angel twins were Ganondorf, Robin, Shulk and Dunban. Ganondorf was only there because Palutena nagged him to come watch with her. This was of course to piss off any of the Angel Assembly members seeing the Goddess of Light with the King of Evil and Ganondorf wished she wouldn't drag him into her affairs. Robin needed to be there to see her plan come to fruition while Shulk begged Palutena to be above the clouds to see if Rob would make it out in one piece. Dunban just wanted to make sure Shulk wouldn't get himself hurt and while Riki wanted to go, Palutena had a limit to how many Smashers could show up or the Angel Assembly would call foul play on her. Everyone else would have to watch from below with the sky projecting the battle to where all of Smash Brothers Realm could see what was going on. Master and Crazy returned at the last minute to hear about this and decided that it was best to show the people what Lucina was capable of when you angered her enough.
Lucina hated this type of promotion. She just wanted to get this over with. She didn't sleep well thanks to Pit coming in searching for his dark twin and dragging him out. She was worried of what would happen even with her family and friends behind her. Yes she was happy seeing everyone, but she didn't like how he or she was only involved to even the odds for her sake.
"Sis, is something the matter?"
It was her little brother Inigo that would be comforting her. He had no problem getting involved in this drama simply because he wanted to look into the crowd and search for any single angel lady. However, seeing his sister stressed out perturbed him.
"…No…it's nothing."
"Sis, we'll win." He said with his big smile. "I may not know exactly what's going on, but I know is if you lose this duel, you'll be killed. If you try to quit, you'll be killed. You can only survive if you win hence why you need your reliable little brother like me."
Lucina wanted to snark he was far from reliable, but now was not the time. Not calling him out made Inigo continue to lighten the mood.
"Also, father was complaining about how if you win, you would get married. Well I guess even someone like you is capable of falling in love and getting married."
"What is that supposed to mean?!"
"Umm…what I mean. You love the guy you're fighting for right? I mean…it is kind of weird how these ugly men want the guy you're fighting for but…why are you giving me that look?"
"Inigo…stop talking."
"O-Okay…I should go speak to Gerome over there…"
"Actually, bring Gerome over. I need something to tell him."
Inigo nodded his head slowly as he went over to the crowd of other Emblem warriors and called Gerome who tried to distant himself from everyone. It proved impossible even though he was riding on Minerva. Gerome grumbled as he forced Inigo to watch his wyvern as he went over to see what Lucina wanted to talk about.
"What is it?"
"…If something happens to me…protect my brother." Lucina answered simply.
"You give me that order a lot when he doesn't need it."
"I want to be cautious. I have been warned that these angels will use any trick in the book to win. That's why I want you to make sure my brother stays out of harms way when the battle starts. If they resort to hostages like I was told…"
"…Understood."
Lucina was surprised at how little resistance Gerome put when ordered to watch her obnoxious little brother. When she first asked him back when they were in the bad future, he had his feathers ruffled but over time took the role of Inigo's bodyguard without the dancer even realizing it.
"Lucina, you should not look sullen. You will worry everyone else." Gerome reminded her as he dismissed himself to go back to Inigo who wanted to use Minerva to pick up angel chicks despite this not being the time or place.
In another corner of the large angel arena, Chrom was grinning ear to ear after getting as many people as possible to fight for him and Lucina. There were some faces missing such as his elder sister who he did not want to drag back into the war and that scoundrel Gangrel. Rob wished that he didn't have to ask Aversa to come and Tharja was back with clinging to his figure seeing as how he was still not married by their world standards. The white haired tactician was glad when her husband Donnel dragged her off so she can help encourage Noire (and that was going to end badly for her).
"Chrom, why are you so chromfident?" Rob asked as a joke seeing Chrom was happier than he needed to be.
"We're going to win." Chrom said with absolute confidence. "It's not just our friends that are fighting with us but the Hero King Marth's comrades and the Radiant Hero Ike's as well."
Rob chucked nervously only because of how it was just awkward for certain people to meet up. He would not admit that he didn't want to be around Tiki at all. Her adorable childhood self and her sexy adult self ended up meeting each other, so they had their own corner breaking all timelines with their conversations of adult Tiki talking to her younger self what to do and not do when the time came.
Then there was Priam meeting Ike his descendent and Ike shot the entire theory down saying he never got married. This explained so well why Prism doesn't know the Aether skill at all that Ike taught himself and made more sense why he would be a descendent of Mist and Boyd. There was hope for Ike's tactician Soren with that fact in mind, but it didn't say much given Ike was in a relationship with Pit.
Speaking of Pit, those two have yet to show up and it was almost time for the battle. Rob wondered where those two were. Seeing that Gaston was in the arena made it clear that they weren't ambushed at the very least.
Once the event started, everyone got quiet seeing as there was an angel that came onto the huge arena to speak about the rules of the battle. The angel was a tall girl with long white hair tied in a very huge braid, brown eyes and a huge chest that defied gravity would be speaking for everyone. Her outfit did a good job keeping her breasts in check probably having the biggest bra that could hold them back. Her tunic came off as rather tight as a result, but given the checkerboard design, she must have attempted to look like one of those anime characters and failed miserably. No one would bring it up because of the huge bow that was on her back that was larger than what Pit carried around.
Before she could speak, another young angel came in and pounced on her back.
"Fuyumi, I'm going to talk too!" The young angel declared happily.
"T-This is a serious battle, Ian! It's not the Angel Olympics!"
Ian was an adorable angel. If you didn't think he was cute, you were lying to yourself. Maybe it was his rather large purple eyes that him so precious or the way his silver hair was incredibly wavy and unkempt making the purple bangs stand out. Or maybe it was just the cute little silver fox with the four tails doll clinging to him and the tall girl.
"Shit is going to go down though." The doll spoke causing Fuyumi to freak out. "Better get out of the way when things start."
"W-Why is that doll talking again, Ian?!"
"Silvia always talks. Come on Fuyumi, let me say some things for the match."
"N-No! S-Stop!"
Ian's cuteness and the doll's adorable creepiness drowned her cries out as he snatched the mike from her rather easily. There could be some grumbling in the crowd with a few angels complaining to Valerie to get his little brother out of the arena. Valerie was supposed to sit in a certain section with Arcadia, Mcenche and the Kaguya family in general. He refused to acknowledge his little brother's presence.
"Okay, everyone! Testing one, two three! Hey, hey! We're going to be starting the match in a couple of minutes! My boyfriend Vitus is getting the captain and his brother ready! When they get back, we can start!"
The immaturity in his speech brought shame to the Marchen family. Arcadia couldn't help but glance at the more feminine brother of the two who had his hands covering his face.
"I don't know him…" Valerie murmured to himself causing Arcadia to chuckle at how it only takes his brother to bring him to this state.
"I'm going to go over the rules!" Ian continued with his cutesy persona. "First, we all know how these duels go…although it seems like it's going to be a gladiator match with how many competitors there are! That means we can teleport them to an even bigger arena!"
"Wait what…" Rob muttered intending to ignore this annoying angel until he said something about transferring them to somewhere else.
"We can't get the arena too dirty, right?" Ian asked before Silvia ended up telling him that his jokes weren't funny causing the young lad to frown. "Oh, you don't have to be mean Silvia! Anyways, the victory is obtained only when the leader of the group is defeated! You can do whatever you want as long as the challenger or the one being challenged is still around. It would be sad if they shouted that they surrendered though. That wouldn't be very fun for us."
"No fun! No fun!" Silvia tuned in.
"But if you don't want to die, you just have to run out of bounds. Hopefully you can still fly."
That implied that anyone who couldn't fly would fall for their deaths if they were to escape wherever they were being teleported. It was like was like this dimension Ian spoke of would kill humans. Rob suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Chrom had to pat him on the back reassuring him that they would be fine.
"Oh, here comes the captain and his brother now!" Ian exclaimed as he made haste and fled the arena dragging the tall girl behind him with relative ease.
The attention was turned to the two angel twins at this point. Pit had already bought his snacks and set it aside to the area where the Smashers and two Goddesses would be spectating the match. He went back for Pittoo when he was done and was forced to change as well so he would look presentable. Pit grumbled at how he didn't like this formal attire of a tunic he wore. It was more modern looking than what he had on now. The captain wondered if it was necessary to put all of these glow in the dark lights on his, but chances were that Vitus was having fun making this tunic, so who was he to complain? At least Dark Pit had the more appropriate outfit. In comparison, his outfit was polished so it shined like knight armor. Personally, Pit found it to blinding and Dark Pit probably thought that as well. Both angels were given a mask to cover their face, but Pit refused to put his mask on as he looked at his angel people with a composed expression.
Dark Pit was given the comedy mask so he wouldn't give the impression that he was nervous about the battle (in contrast to Pit having the tragedy mask hang over his head above his laurel crown). He slowly walked behind Pit refusing to look at those observing eyes. Pit held his hand while they walked through the stadium.
"Oh, at least he doesn't look trashy now." Gaston mocked seeing Pit leer at him. "Would it be nice for him to remove his mask and see his cute face?"
"You can think about that if you win the battle." Pit warned him before turning toward the crowd. "Angels of Skyworld, I have a declaration to make. Should Lucina lose the match, I will not hesitate to resign from my position."
That took everyone especially Palutena by surprise. Pit however failed to keep the arrogant smile from showing up.
"Of course, we all know how lame Gaston is. Tell me one time where he actually went to battle with the others when the going gets tough? Do you remember the time us angels went to defend Skyworld against dragons? What was Gaston doing? Oh yeah! He was hiding behind Arcadia and then took the credit for himself!"
"Not a surprise." Valerie said quickly.
"Don't remind me…" Arcadia grumbled.
Pit said this to brighten the mood and it worked seeing as how Gaston's face was completely red with fury when that dragon incident was brought up. The suitors also found this amusing. Taking his sword out, he pointed it at Pit.
"Mark my words captain, when I win, you will not just lose your position but your tongue as well."
"Don't get ahead of yourself."
Pit made it clear that the side he was cheering for was going to win therefore they shouldn't worry about the rumors of him losing his position. Palutena sighed realizing how Pit needed to make a political statement just so he wouldn't lose favor with the angels. If Lucina lost, the angels would fight for Pit's position so the Angel Assembly at large couldn't fire him.
"Your angel is growing up."
"Kaguju…shut up."
The purple angel was also sitting in the stand with the two Goddesses. He got special privilege due to who he was therefore no one could question him. Pit wasn't pleased seeing Kaguju next to Palutena, but if Ganondorf wasn't complaining, he had no right to speak. Dark Pit was forced to sit in the special chair for the one being sought after. The light angel gave a few encouraging words to his twin to not worry so much and sit down. The way the chair looked gave Dark Pit the impression that he was treated like Helen of Troy but given the divine beings might have lived through the Trojan War at some point, maybe this was intentional on the angel's end to make the person being fought for seen as a pathetic individual who could do nothing while both sides went at it. The comedy mask did a good job hiding the pained expression Pittoo had being alone.
"We will be teleporting everyone to the true battlefield." Fuyumi announced after recovering from being dragged around by Ian. "We wish luck and survivor to all fighters."
The magic happened incredibly fast once Fuyumi said that. Everyone was warped to another dimension where it was nothing but an open field. It was one of the bigger fields used when the angels competed in a game called Light versus Dark, but in a situation like this, it was a battle to the death.
Lucina was in the front of the army along with her father, mother, and brother along with Rob, Marth and Ike behind her. Henry and Morgan were close by too along with Owain, Gerome and the other children of the future. Most of the healers were in the back though and they needed it.
"This is a fair fight." Lucina told Gaston seeing how he was still angry about her using the loophole. "No dirty tricks. It will be you against me!"
"Ha-ha, if you think you're going to get that one on one match with me, you're going to have to work for it!"
"A coward like Pit described him as…" Rob mumbled as he went over to Lucina. "Lucina, we will do all in our power to clear a path. You just focus on the duel."
"Understood."
"We'll be fine." Rob said with a smirk. "My sister's plans never failed us yet."
It said a lot when Rob praised his sister instead of snarking about how perfect she was. She was looking up at the magic projector the angels made of the battlefield praying for the safety of her friends and family.
"GO EVERYONE!"
Lucina wanted to facepalm hearing Owain shouting something incredibly stupid and Morgan and Cynthia joined in with whatever the hell he was talking about.
The battle started and the honest reality was that these angels would only have the advantage if it was just Lucina against them. With how most of the Fire Emblem cast was there to kick some serious ass, the battle was rather one sided that it was almost a disappointment to the Emblem warriors especially those who wanted to kill. Henry was going all out to murder as many angels as he could before they started retreating.
The path was cleared almost immediately. Lucina charged toward Gaston who was shouting at the angel suitors to not run away despite the push the Emblem warriors were giving them. Some were already taking the smart room and fleeing before things got bad. It became apparent to Lucina that this was equivalent to the Mii battles so perhaps it wasn't fair after all, but maybe Gaston was actually competent in battle. After all, it didn't matter what the army did because if Lucina lost, they all did.
"Come at me!" Lucina shouted as she charged her shield breaker at Gaston who flew out of her attack. "Your cowardly ways end here!"
"Ha, if you think I'm going to let some she-man win, you have another thing coming."
Yes, Gaston had a sword, but he was proving to be very bad with it. Lucina had to wonder how this man had such a high position in heaven. Then again, Pit brought up that Gaston hid behind the competent fighter and took the credit. His cowardly nature showed especially with his bad posture and messing up some obvious openings Lucina had when the two clashed sword. Lucina was going to break his sword, so he proceeded to punch her instead. The definition of a duel was different for angels so she wouldn't call him out, but if she could hear the outside, the angels were quick to switch their favorites from Gaston to Lucina. Gaston was boring them seeing Lucina dominated him in a one on one match. Dark Pit glanced over to Pit who was complaining how this battle would be over before he finished his popcorn.
So…this is failed hype. Dark Pit thought as he took of his mask realizing he had nothing to worry about. He's only talk if he can manipulate the battle, but if forced to fight fairly, he's a weakling.
"Is this all you have to offer?" Lucina asked annoyed that this entire battle was starting to be a waste of time.
"Tch, you haven't seen my true form!"
"…Before this ends, let me ask you this." Lucina began as she began to prepare a critical hit seeing Gaston wide open yet again. "Why do you care so much about marrying Dark Pit? There are other people you can marry. If it's to remove Pit from position of power, why not work together with him instead of going after someone who has nothing to do with it?"
Gaston was taken back by the sincere question. For someone as sleazy as him, he would not have the best answer and it showed when even the angels weren't exactly pleased with his statement.
"Heh…heh heh…marriage is nothing to us angels. You look around here in heaven and you see two things. Angels unhappy because they lost there loved ones in the name of love or angels who have benefitted because they married the right person. You can only be happy by an arranged marriage. Look at all the angels who have tried to stray from the path like the captain and those who fall for humans and demons. They're all pathetic." He smirked knowing Pit would flip out at what he said next. "We all know the most pathetic one of them all is the captain's father who fell for a demon and look where it got him. He got a miserable child as a result."
"You fucking, son of a-"
"Pit!" Palutena shouted before Pit could jump out of his seat and order the other angels to allow him to beat the overconfident angel up.
"Lady Palutena, how dare he insult my old man! Only I can insult him for being stupid!"
"Pit…this battle is almost over. Calm down." Ganondorf told him firmly. "The look in our favorite princess' eyes is glowing."
"Huh?"
Gaston kept stroking his ego at this point insulting the other angels. "Power is everything and marriage allows the ultimate power! You can't break away once you're married! You're stuck to your partner for all eternity! That clone should be glad he's going to marry someone as handsome and powerful as me. He won't have to worry about thinking. He just needs to sit there and look presentable."
"…Is that all Dark Pit is to you…and the suitors?"
"Besides using him to remove the captain from power, what else is he good for?"
Dark Pit flinched at those cold words. What good was he to anyone besides Pit? He was only good at fighting and probably communicating with demons, but other than that…
"Dark Pit is his own being!" Lucina snapped a large aura suddenly appearing behind her. "You can't decide the life he lives! He lives however he wants and he won't let someone like you control him! Dark Pit is one of the kindest angel's I know and I will not allow a scumbag like you destroy him! I challenge my fate in this duel and I will be the victor!"
Lucina wouldn't even give Gaston the time to breath when she charged. He blocked a critical blow at the cost of his sword shattering from the Falchion. His eyes widened as he stepped back horrified at what was occurring.
"W-What…"
She went after him again charging with the sword and sending him into the air before slamming him into the ground. It was amazing there were no cuts on his body. The angels didn't give Gaston enough credit for all the pain he could endure, but his pride was shattered immediately.
"N-No! Don't kill me! I give up!"
"Pathetic." Lucina growled. "After all of that trash talking…"
The angels overall were disappointed on how this match was hyped up only for it to end so quickly due to Gaston's incompetence. Even Arcadia wasn't even rooting for her partner at this point. She sympathized with the human girl who won within a few minutes without interruption. The army Lucina gathered was rather pointless as a result except to intimidate the other angel suitors into fleeing if they weren't killed. It didn't stop the Smashers or anyone rooting for Lucina to cheer at her flawless victory. Dark Pit let out a sigh of relief as he slumped into the chair.
As everyone was brought back into the angel arena, Ian and Fuyumi declared Lucina the winner of this glove slap duel.
"Sorry for the disappointment everyone. We all forgot how lame Gaston was." Ian added with a snicker.
"He can't walk the walk." Silvia added. "Thank god for a loophole."
"…I want my money back!" One angel shouted.
"Gaston made us lose so much!"
"BOOOOOOOO!"
Anyone not cheering for Lucina was booing rather loudly due to his or her own race not winning. The female lord didn't care seeing as Dark Pit was safe from this cowardly man who couldn't care for his wellbeing. Gaston was on his knees begging the crowd to stop glaring at him. He even pleaded to Arcadia to tell the angels to stop, but she just folded her arms annoyed at how foolish her partner was. Valerie was just glad he could remove him from position now.
The angels fell silent despite Gaston's flailing. The Smashers turned to see why the angels decided to stop booing at the outcome of a human woman defeating an angelic male. Pit's eyes widened in horror as he hid behind Palutena, but Dark Pit was confused at the sudden tense atmosphere in the heavens.
"Who is that?"
"C-Cherub…" Pit murmured. "H-He never shows up…no matter what duel…"
The Cherub appeared before Lucina causing her to back up. The other warriors wanted to help Lucina seeing what a menace this angel was.
Actually, Cherub did not look anywhere near an angel. The wings he had on his back looked less like angel wings and more like wings of an eagle. The angel's long hair and beard looked identical to a lion's main and that's not even describing the horns of an ox and tail. Cherub looked more like a demon than an angel and that might have been why all the angels feared him. He smirked as he looked over to Lucina who was ready to defend herself if he intended to attack her.
"I'm impressed." He spoke in a rather monotone voice. "I expected a one sided match resulting in a pitiful human's death." Lucina kept her eyes on him as he continued. "I'm surprised that human was able to see the loophole in the angel law book and cause a one-sided match against the angels."
"…It is not a loophole." Lucina spoke surprising the angel slightly. "Everyone that has fought beside me is my family in some shape or form. Our bonds are strong and I could not have won without them."
"I see…when I mean family, I always refer to the blood ties, but the bonds of friendship is equally as strong. Interesting." Cherub looked toward the Goddess of Light who was spectating the battle. "You have some interesting friends Athena."
"Palutena." The Goddess of Light corrected quickly.
"Right, Palutena." He smirked as he turned his back on the female lord. "You did well. You are indeed the victor of this duel. I will now cast my judgment on the loser."
He looked toward Gaston who was ready to fly off in the distant. He froze when he saw the evil look in Cherub's eyes and screamed.
"P-Please, spare me! I'm a member of the Angel Assembly! That bitch cheated!"
"Language…" Cherub said simply as his body began to glow a darkish red. The power lifted him up in the air. "Let it be known that Gaston has disturbed the holy matrimony between two lovers. Let this never happen again. I cast you to the depths of hell never to return."
The angels could only look in horror as a black hole appeared below Gaston when he tried to fly away from the cloud. A ginormous hand that could belong to no one but Hades pulled Gaston into the hole at an alarming rate.
"NO!" He cried. "Not there! Please, don't make me face him!"
Cherub said nothing as the hand pulled him down completely with only his scream echoing throughout the heavens. The other suitors who were still alive were quick to fly off in random direction like a pack of mice. Cherub did not bother going after them, as they were helpless without their leader. He stared at Arcadia who was standing in the crowd with Mcenche and the rest of the Kaguya family line. She shivered at his cold eyes that were chillier than hers before Cherub turned back to Lucina and then to Dark Pit who was standing in the spot where all the angels who were fought for were supposed to stand.
"And now the holy ceremony will begin."
No one had time to reach out to the two Smashers when Cherub used his magic to seize the two and teleport to wherever they would get married. Pit already knew that it could only be that one place where no one could disturb them after the duel.
The place that Pit was thinking of was the Golden Land also known as the center of the universe. The place was ruled by a bunch of insane brats who could do whatever they wanted with a flick of their finger. They were so powerful that even the divine beings had to stand down in order to not invoke their wrath.
They had their good points though. For example, after a glove slap duel caused by the angels, Cherub would take them to the Golden Church. This was probably the most sacred place in all the Golden Land that the creator of the universe did all in his power to make sure that no one laid waste to it. When inside, one could see why when one looked above at the stain glass windows and saw magnificent figures staring down at them. There were twelve stain glass windows each with a different figure on it. Some were shiny while others lose their color. The symbolism wasn't important (at least not in this story), but its to be noted that a bright man that was at the center of it lost its glow in contrast to the picture of a brooding man that shined brightly despite being hidden in the darkness.
Lucina blinked when she was teleported into this magnificent church. Everything around her was incredibly sparkly filled with golden butterflies that fluttered throughout the church.
"Where is this?"
"You're in the Golden Land." Cherub stated. "The place where you and your lover will be married."
"Wait…we're still…"
Lucina looked down at her attire almost immediately. She noticed how she was no longer wearing her battle clothes for Smash Brothers Mansion. Instead she wore a dark blue tuxedo with a white suit underneath and a small bowtie. If Lucina understood how the Golden Land worked with their constant media references, she would have noticed that whoever put her in this outfit was obsessed with James Bond. She sighed that they would put her in masculine attire for this wedding she was still being forced into.
"Oh, hell no! Why am I in the dress?!"
Dark Pit was there with her. Lucina turned to her side and gasped at what the dark angel was wearing. The genders were reversed as he was the one in the wedding dress, but it wasn't your normal wedding dress. It had a gothic feel to it with the dark coloring and the black veil over his head. Because he wasn't a woman, the dress was arranged differently so it would cover up his chest area, but at the same time made it tighter in said area. His back was more exposed due to the laces, but the fluffiness of the gothic dress was apparently supposed to make up for it. The cute butterfly pattern on the dress was a Golden Land touch.
"Didn't you know? The one that is being duel always wears the dress. I love that little rule Cherub has!"
That was not Cherub. In front of the podium was a boy who appeared the age of twelve with blond hair and green eyes. He wasn't dressed up for an official wedding and had a European suit with a heart, diamond, clover and spade button in that order from top to bottom. He smiled at the confused looks the two had.
"Who are you?" Lucina asked as she reached for Falchion only to realize that she didn't have her sword on her.
"I'm Prism, Sorcerer of Misfortune, creator of the universe and the one who is going to wed you two off after that duel." He introduced with a cheeky grin. "Thanks for keeping me entertained."
"You're lying, Prism." Said another voice that appeared behind him. When this person appeared, raven crows scattered around them somewhat ruining the glimmering feel of the church. A girl that appeared to be a raven ruffled the feathers of the blond kid. She had medium length hair and purple eyes stared down at him. Prism was looking more at her baby doll dress with the twenty-four feathers that formed a clock if one had good observation (or if you were a pervert, you would notice how they formed a circle around her breasts.
"No I'm not!"
"Who wears the dress is based on the circumstances. You just want to be a little troll."
Dark Pit was furious hearing that. "Hey, get me out of this outfit! I want a tuxedo like Lucina! This looks like I'm going to a funeral!"
"But it looks better on you." Prism said happily. "Your soon to be husband thinks that too."
"Lucina is not my…wait a…"
Lucina just facepalmed at what Prism just implied.
"Can the wedding start now?" Cherub asked with a hint of annoyance. "The holy ceremony needs to happen right after the duel."
"Hey, stop rushing Cherub!" Prism shouted. "I'm just admiring the outfits."
"One is James Bond and the other is a Gothic Lolita. Prism, please…your taste in outfits…"
"Like you should talk Raven…"
The two Smashers sided in defeat realizing that they would have to go through with this. One of the golden butterflies fluttered into the arms of the dark angel and immediately turned into a bouquet of dark colored flowers. Dark Pit let out a groan about the reversed gender roles.
"Uhh…this is stupid…why do I have to be the dress…" Dark Pit looked over to Lucina and blushed. "But at least…you look dashing in that tuxedo."
Lucina let out a small smile as she resisted the urge to pet the black angel on the head. "And you are simply adorable."
"Wait…adorable? Normally the bride is beautiful…oh god…I take that back! D-Don't say anything else Luci!"
She let out a small laugh now as the Golden Land residences got into position to perform the wedding ceremony. Cherub went over to the side to watch. The only audience that showed up in the seats was the golden butterflies that turned into different boys and girls. All of them were friends of Prism and Raven and like the two kids they all wore their normal informal outfits.
However some butterflies seem to create musical instruments in the corner suited for a wedding and started playing music. They didn't even take a human form in contrast to the spectators of the Golden Land. Dark Pit let out a sigh hearing the music. He heard it so often in films where people were getting married that listening to it in person while being the one with the bouquet was enough to send shivers down his spine. Lucina heard it so much with everyone getting married around her in her world. She never would have imagined that she too would be the one walking down the aisle in a tuxedo nonetheless. Slowly she glanced over to the one she would be married and couldn't help but smile.
"Are you ready Dark Pit?" She asked extending her hand toward him. "There really is nothing much we can do."
"Argh…I know." Dark Pit mumbled with a sigh before looking over at the one he would marry. A small smirk escaped his lips as he accepted her hand. "But at the very least…I'm getting married to someone who likes me even a little…"
As the two slowly walked down the aisle hand in hand, Prism was looking for the book he was supposed to be saying about wedding vows. Raven saw how pale the blond turned as he was shuffling through the pages. She was feeling a nasty headache coming to her suddenly. Cherub's expression also dropped seeing Prism hastily trying to find the page.
"Prism…please tell me that you wrote the speech you were going to say."
"Uh…I…" Prism looked over to his friends in the stand who were just chilling. They weren't going to help him and were going to watch him crash and burn. "Ummmmmmm…"
"Fucking useless…" Raven growled.
"Cube, help us all…" Cherub added with a sigh.
This wasn't even going to be a proper speech at this point. There was no way Prism could come up with something out of his ass immediately, so he might as well say the most important thing and get right to the making out portion.
"Lucina," Prism began addressing the female lord. "Do you take Pittoo as your husband for all eternity?"
Well he's going straight for the question. Lucina thinks sarcastically to herself before nodding her head. "I do."
"Pittoo, do you take Lucina as your wife for all eternity?"
Dark Pit was not pleased with how that nickname was being used instead of what he wanted to be called by.
"…I do."
Prism wanted to make a snarky comment about Dark Pit's hesitation but that wasn't from swearing his love for eternity and more on how Prism was using his nickname. Lucina wondered how they expected to keep going when she didn't have a ring to give Dark Pit or vise versa. She felt something in her pocket though.
"Lucina, take the ring you have and put it in on your husband."
"Huh? I didn't…"
Regardless, Lucina dove into the pocket of the tuxedo and pulled out a ring. Dark Pit was as confused as she was on how that ended up there, but chances are the Golden Land prepared everything beforehand. Dark Pit would hate to think of what would have happened if he were in this position with Gaston.
Opening the box revealed a shiny amethyst gem in the form of the golden butterfly.
Yes, this ring is definitely from this strange place. Lucina thought as she wondered why Pittoo was the one that needed to wear it.
"Oh, don't worry. The ring ain't cursed." Prism said with a smile. "Its just confirms to the Golden Land that you indeed made your vows and intend to keep it. After all, the Golden Land remembers everything forever."
Basically, don't cheat. Dark Pit thought to himself as his cheeks turned red. Why did it have to be him who had to have the ring slipped on his finger? He should just stop asking questions and get it over with.
It was like the ring was made for him. For a second, the dark angel felt that his body was becoming light. He looked toward the aisle hearing something. He blinked in confusion about what he just felt but realized it was probably nothing and turned back toward Lucina still with his small cute smile.
"You may now kiss the bride…I mean husband!"
Prism really was messing this up. The two Smashers didn't care as they gazed into each other's eyes. This entire time, they resisted a forced marriage, but regardless if they were marrying too early for their taste, it didn't change the fact that the love the two had for each other were real. Both continued to smile warmly at each other as Dark Pit mumbled something to Lucina before voicing it louder before she could ask what he said.
"Luci…I know I said I wasn't interested in marriage but I…mmm?"
Lucina didn't want to hear him say anything. His actions spoke louder than words and she was demonstrating this when she was the one that pulled him into a passionate kiss. This was met from cheers in the Golden Land and outside of the magical Wonderland.
"I won you fair and square, Dark Pit." Lucina teased seeing how his cheeks lit up underneath the veil. "I won't hand you over to anyone. I am your knight in shining armor after all."
"Idiot, I'm going to be the one to protect you after this…" Dark Pit muttered softly to himself before he decided he wanted to kiss her again. He leaned up on his toes to do a return kiss. Under his breath, Lucina thought she could hear him attempt to say how much he loved her, but this was all she needed.
Prism let out a small yawn as a response to finishing his half-ass speech. Raven just shook her head in annoyance knowing she would have to educate him how to memorize these speeches properly if he wanted anyone to respect him. Cherub chuckled as he disappeared after the sacred kiss was given. His role was done and would only show up again if someone disturbed the harmony between two lovers.
The Golden Land was able to project the marriage in two main locations: heaven and the Smash Brothers Realm. There everyone could witness the wedding between Lucina and Dark Pit. All who were routing for the Ylissean princess cheered seeing the two kiss each other. Pit sighed in relief seeing how everything turned out okay in the end and he had so many people to thank for protecting his twin brother. Not like Pit would think about that now as he looked over to Palutena and let out an innocent laugh.
"Great, now we can all get hammered!" Pit declared. "All the drinking without fear of breaking the law! That is awesome!"
Palutena admitted to herself that she couldn't wait to get her hands on some wine and drink until she passed out. That was the good thing about having huge weddings like this especially if it came from a glove slap duel. However…
"Pit…you can't drink until you resolve your issue with the Angel Assembly." She reminded her captain. "You caused these problems due to your incompetence and recklessness. Now that the Angel Assembly is down one member, you have to fix things with Arcadia."
Pit's mood immediately dropped about his captain responsibilities. "Oh, come on Lady Palutena! This is Pittoo's wedding! I want to celebrate with him."
"Nope, your duties come first."
"Oh man…"
There was one more person in the crowd that was equally saddened by these turns of events. While Olivia was crying that her daughter got married and Inigo was crying that his big sister was so manly in the battle, both were still happy that Lucina looked content in that tuxedo. Chrom however just sighed at how all of his efforts to make sure Lucina wouldn't get married was ruined due to divine intervention.
"Oh Naga…please protect my daughter." Chrom prayed even though he didn't think his prayer would reach Naga given the Goddess here was Palutena…and she was very pleased with the results.
"Chrom, don't look so sullen when your family is delighted at the outcome." Dunban could be heard telling Chrom as he patted him on the back. "Sometimes, you just need to let the little birdie leave the nest and spread her wings."
Chrom glared daggers at the war veteran seeing the hypocrisy in the statement. "Says the guy who can't let Shulk go."
"Oh…it's because he isn't going to leave."
"Really, then why did I just hear Rob telling Shulk to go catch that bouquet when those two come back from this Golden Land place."
Sure enough Dark Pit and Lucina came back from the Golden Land led by the golden butterflies. It was a magical experience and to complete it was to catch the bouquet. Almost all the angel girls that were attending and some of the single ladies were lining up. Dark Pit wanted to throw the bouquet in Pit's face seeing as how he wasn't paying attention. His aim was off when he threw it though and it ended up in the hands of the Monado boy. Rob couldn't help but give a huge grin to a confused seer.
"Yay, we can get married next." The white haired tactician teased as he snuggled up to the taller male.
"Umm…that is…uh…"
"OH, HELL NO!" Dunban cursed as he stormed over to the two Smashers. "SHULK, YOU ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED ON MY WATCH!"
Chrom just shook his head in annoyance. "What did I say?" Looking up at his handsome daughter though, he smiled contently seeing the radiant glow she was giving. "Well…she proved herself today…so I guess I'll let it slide…I am proud of you Lucina. May you two forever have a happy life..."
Me: Done with 9775 words.
Li: And we're done…
Me: Uh-huh. Dark Pit/Lucina fans are hopefully happy you got this for Valentine's Day…because I think I would have worked on Clockwork Galaxy or some tentacles…Notes!
1. This entire scene with Pit and Dark Pit originally wasn't planned but I just sort of wanted to give some small conclusion to their argument. I feel like Pit doesn't tell the whole truth about his reputation in heaven. Half of the angels hate him but the other half adore him hence why Pit can casually speak to so many Angel Assembly members he apparently loathes. Vitus for example is someone Pit gets along with and he has an on and off relationship with Valerie. Dark Pit as a whole while he would probably have more respect if he forced himself to speak to other angels, he feels pressured by the other angels hence why he's always looking down when he doesn't need to be.
2. Okay I admit I'm on the side that hates the idea that Priam is Ike's descendant. I'm fine with him following Mist's line but not Ike. Just because he has blue hair and has Ragnell (that breaks) doesn't mean that he's Ike. I hate how Nintendo didn't even bother giving Priam a good backstory and shoved him in to shoot down pairings like Ike/Soren. A character that has no good backstory and could have been used for any other character to be brought back to life to recruit is just a bad taste in my mouth since I hate characters that have no purpose in the story except to be there.
3. Why is the battle one sided and so lame? Well, Pit kind of made it obvious that Gaston wasn't much for battling especially since he lets Arcadia do all the work and takes the credit from her (and she obviously hates that). This is why Lucina against the 101 suitors was very bad against her because it allows for underhanded tactics. When the Fire Emblem cast was summoned to back her up, suddenly the scale is tipped in Lucina's favor. You also got to remember that half the angels are either incompetent or lazy. The Centurions are both but the suitors who most of them are rich angels mind you never needed to fight because they let everyone else do it. This is the type of people that take advantage of the innocent and naïve especially when in power because when forced to back up their talk with fighting, they fall almost immediately. This is not helped how the angels hyped up the match and it ended in disappointment like most sporting events can be.
4. The Cherub is one of the few angel rankings I have yet to deal with in my stories. You have the angels that include Pit, Dark Pit and pretty much most of angel society. The archangels are Michael, Gabriel, Ariel and Rafael. Principality is the name I gave to the Head Angel of Queen's Blade. The Angel Assembly is the Thrones of heaven and Lamington is the one Seraph of all the heavens.
Regardless, what I decided to make my angel different in this version is to make Cherub four angels in one. In other words, there is only one Cherub because they all fused together hence they are the four faces you see. The leader of the group is the one with the human face, but the other three are the lion, ox and eagle. The eagle allows Cherub to fly. The lion gives Cherub the main and gives it the strength of a lion. The ox gives Cherub the horns and the kicking power and tail of said animal and the man gives Cherub the ability to talk and think like a human. Because the Cherub is supposed to represent the four Evangelists, all four of the animals are male.
That's it. Reviews are appreciated. I can now go back to my other multi-chapter fics especially Super Smash Galaxy. Happy Valentine's Day! Ja ne!