"I mean, how did this even happen? And it's not like either of us are real parenting types either, and just - you're not even listening to me, are you?"

"Hmm?" Elsa looked up from her book. "Sorry, I was distracted."

Jack pouted fiercely from the armchair he was draped over. "You suck, y'know that? I come here to get some advice, and you just ignore me!"

"And what exactly makes me the prime candidate for such advice giving?" the Queen raised one fine eyebrow.

"Hello, there are like five kids running around here at any given time."

Elsa chuckled. "Well, one of us has to be level headed. Lord knows it wouldn't be Anna."

"What wouldn't be Anna?" The woman in question entered the room, having caught the tail end of their conversation as she'd walked by.

"You have to admit, you're not the most focused of us," Elsa said teasingly.

Anna huffed. "Oh, I see how it is. You just want me for my looks!" The twinkle in her eyes gave her away though.

"Only partially," Elsa replied in turn, the corner of her mouth quirking upwards mischievously.

Anna laughed, unable to keep a straight face any longer. "I am highly attractive. So, Mister Frost," she turned to Jack, "what brings you here? Not the weather, I hope."

"Nah, no freak summer storms from me," Jack assured. "Her, on the other hand..."

"Shush you," Elsa scolded good-naturedly. She hadn't lost a significant grip on her powers in years, not since her first and only child had been born. Albin was a quiet, even-tempered lad, much more so than his half-siblings/cousins.

"Just saying," the winter spirit teased. His expression then became serious and he turned towards Anna once again. "I've recently, technically, become a father."

"Really?" Anna asked skeptically. "I thought you weren't exactly human; how did you..." She made several hand gestures, a couple vague, the others far too lewd for a princess to know. Elsa covered her face with her hands at her sister's blunt manner.

"Oh, ew, no!" Jack exclaimed, his nose wrinkled as scrambled to sit upright. "No, see, I was kinda fighting with Pitch Black a little bit, and at one point our powers collided and I was really scared for a minute cause I thought I killed him, and then he was probably gonna kill me, and then there was this little kid, and it's kind of ours?"

The sisters looked heavily unimpressed. "Let me get this straight," Elsa said slowly. "After provoking the Nightmare King into a battle, your powers collided and in the process somehow mixed to create a child?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't sound all that sure," Anna noted as she sat down on the arm of the chair Jack perched on.

"Well I'm kind of not?" Jack said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "I mean, I guess I'm pretty sure since the kid has been calling us "Daddy". Plus it kinda just appeared outta nowhere, so it's not like there's really any other explanation."

"Aww, that's so sweet!" Anna cooed.

"No it's not!" Jack protested. "The little brat chucked a tree at us! Then it tackled us and made sure we couldn't get away while it-" he shuddered "-cuddled us."

Anna and Elsa exchanged amused looks, the redhead giggling while the blonde held her mirth back behind a small grin.

Jack pouted. "You two are no help," he huffed. "I bet Kristoff wouldn't be so mean to me."

"Kristoff practically worships the ground you walk on," Anna rolled her eyes. "He wouldn't be able to get out a full word edgewise."

"You both suck," Jack whined.

"So is it a boy or a girl?" Elsa asked, trying to stave off the argument that was sure to follow.

"... I actually don't know," Jack admitted. "I was sorta busy trying not to get vaporized by Pitch's death glare. Then it kinda latched on to him and wouldn't let go, so I was able to wriggle out of its hold and after a little panicking I came here."

"Wow," Anna deadpanned. "Masterful, Mister Frost, truly you are a Guardian of children everywhere."

"Agh, shut up!" Jack grabbed a pillow and tried to whack Anna with it, but she dodged. He frowned, biting his lip. "Actually, I should probably go check up on them. Make sure Pitch isn't totally corrupting whatever soul it might or might not have."

"Yes, go be a responsible parent," Elsa encouraged, picking up her book once again. "And try to visit again without it being some kind of emergency."

"But have fun!" Anna added with a grin, chucking the pillow back at Jack.

"Who do you think you're talking to?" he laughed, opening the window and leaning out halfway. "Wind, take me home!" he cried, and with a burst of air he was gone, with only a bit of snow to mark his presence.

A/N: Hey, so I'm not dead! Hehe ^^;;

Anywho, I am Kristelsanna trash, have been ever since the movie came out, and I headcanon Jack and Elsa as bros so very much so we have this.

Also Jack can make ice, hell he practically is ice; you can't tell me Kristoff wouldn't be fanboying over that almost as much as he does over Elsa.

And the Kristelsanna babies (which unfortunately didn't all make it into the fic) are as follows: Emil, the oldest, is Kristoff and Anna's 12-yr-old son who was born five years after the movie, three and a half years after Anna and Kristoff got married; Albin is Kristoff and Elsa's 10-yr-old son; Henrik and Lise are Kristoff and Anna's 8-yr-old fraternal twins; and Sonja is Kristoff and Anna's 5-yr-old daughter. Not exactly relevant, but it might come up later so yeah.

In other news I now have an Etsy shop, so if you dig cool jewelry and want to help me out bc my job is really shitty, go and buy something over at ArtisticAnnadeavors (yes i know it is a terrible pun but that is my life)