Second chapter is from Jemma's perspective, let me know which you like better. Thanks to Beguilingirl for encouraging this.
Thanks to everyone for reading and letting me know what you thought! You can check me out on Tumblr at inktheater if you wish xx
She knows she shouldn't be happy at a time like this, that she shouldn't be feeling relieved let alone excited when everything is falling apart and their friends have betrayed them again. But Fitz is talking to her, he's agreeing with her, and she didn't realize how much she missed how simple it used to be to just talk to him, to bounce ideas back and forth. So despite the horror of the situation she can't help the ease that settles over her.
She's been homesick for him. Missing the way their minds would flow connected like the way she yearns for the dampness of England, her mother's scent, and the curve of her father's smile. It's a slow ache deep inside her that barely grasps her attention until something else rips in, reminding.
And now they're back, or headed back at least and even though Fitz is leaving, her pride in him will offset the sadness of his absence. She knows it's good that he leaves because they are of no use here, she'll only stay to ensure that this 'new S.H.I.E.L.D.' knows that this is not their place. Fitz will find Coulson and help and she will stay, waiting when everyone returns home.
It doesn't even occur to her that they could achieve something this colluded until Bobbi is asking for her help. It doesn't hit her that they have all the cards, that no one here actually has any clue how to open the box other than herself and maybe Fitz, and should she choose to assist in the proper manner no one would question anything she does with it.
So she complies.
She tells Bobbi she's the one who can open it and formulates her plan as she walks down to the lab while Bobbi goes off to report the good news to Gonzales. That sickens her a bit but she ignores it.
The box cannot stay on base, that's simple enough, there's too big a chance of someone getting a clever idea and tripping one of its fail-safes, or getting lucky and actually opening it. But no one is about to let her just walk off with it.
Except Fitz is already leaving. If she could find a way to slip it into his bag he could take it to Coulson. She just needs to switch it out with a fake copy so nobody notices. In all the chaos happening that will be simple. She presses a smile off her lips at her accomplishment. She really shouldn't be this happy when everything's going to hell.
When Leo enters the lab angry it only takes her a second to understand what he's telling her.
I know your plan, count me in.
As they trade messages, hidden in anger and distrust, she doesn't think anything has felt this good in months. Her mind meeting his and sparking in the center, both completely sure of the others words and meaning, and knowing without doubt what will come next. She's unaware of anything else in the room, the tension dissipates from her mind, Leo is the only thing in her field of focus.
Until she hears the hard metal of a gun slap against skin, then panic overtakes her. Fitz has the box in his hand and one of the agents is pointing his gun at him and her heart is in her throat. Her façade of indifference towards him is gone and she doesn't even think to worry about who will see she only needs him to put it down. She only breathes when he does.
They refocus their conversation and she pushes the residual fear to the back of her mind but she can't stop the rushed beating of her heart or the way it aches when he leaves even though she knows it's for the best.
She's making him a sandwich, a sandwich that she hasn't made in months because of him, as an excuse to get into his bag. That's what she's telling herself anyways. It's not that she's worried about his safety going out all alone into a world where there is no shortage of people who would love to kill a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.
He's Fitz, he's the smartest person she knows, he's entirely capable of taking care of himself and it's not like anybody is looking for him specifically. All the odds factor him being completely okay.
But when she contemplates her note, and writes for him to stay safe because she can't say it, or anything, to his face right now. Right now when everything is getting better with them and she desperately wants to reassure them both but must stay silent because it could foil their plan. She means the words with every piece of her.
Because even though she was learning how to be Simmons without Fitz it wasn't anything close to what she wanted to be and she can't loose him. That much has always been obvious, especially now though, when betrayal seems to be around every corner and there are so few people left to trust. She needs the one person who will never betray her, whose trust she never needs to question. She needs her fallibly loyal best friend to stay safe.
Then, when she signs her name after love she means that even more.
She stands centered between Bobbi and Mack in front of Leo and the large square doors that empty into the outside world with tension filling every muscle fiber in her body. She slides the backpack onto Leo's back, with it the box and her sandwich, and touches the back of his arm just barely before stepping away.
The stress holds her perfectly still as he walks out the door, his lanyard relinquished and his duffle bag in his hand and she doesn't think breathing is physically possible until the door slams, shutting out the sunlight. He's actually gone, they actually pulled this off.
He's actually gone.
It feels like something inside her collapses.