A/N:
Hey guys! Once again, this is a rough chapter I've uploaded before my wonderful beta gets a chance to polish these chapters up for me. Please come back and re-read them once she gets done with them. I promise they will be ten times better!
The events from last night played in my mind's eye like a movie. Me running into Bridget's tent, Bridget and me running into Bette and Dott's, me slashing the officer's throat, all the blood. I shuddered and sat down on my threadbare armchair that had been abandoned on the side of the road. I ran my deformed fingers over the fabric and imagined all the people who had sat in it before me. I don't know what had possessed me to confront Bridget the way I did; whether it was temporary insanity or just the defiant set of her jaw that caused me to do what I did. Under normal circumstances I would never have done such a thing. I was sure she was already uncomfortable in her new surroundings and on her first night I interrogated her like a criminal. Sure, I was distrustful of the stranger but that gave me no right to do what I did.
My fingers slid from the arm of the chair and up to my face where I sighed and cradled my chin in my hand. Glancing out my dusty window I was surprised to see a red pick-up truck pulling a trailer on a hitch kicking up dust as it sped toward the camp. I squinted in confusion, but was interrupted when the door to my trailer banged open.
My mother poked her bearded face around the corner, "You had better not be late to rehearsal today," she warned with her serious face on, "We are working on the Twin's act."
She had deep lines around her eyes and a tired look in them, this life had taken it's toll on her.
"I'll be there on time." I sighed.
My mother walked all the way into the trailer, the tiredness in her eyes was replaced with a look of sad understanding.
"You did a good thing last night, Jimmy." She sat heavily in the chair opposite me. I thought she would have been furious when I told her about the cop, instead she seemed almost relieved. I was a little disjointed, I could barely look at myself.
"I did what I had to do, but I will never be sure that it was the right thing." I shook my head and looked her in her tired eyes, daring her to disagree.
"You protected our home." She leaned forward, returning my stare with even more determination.
I scoffed, "Some home."
"Hey!" My mother used her scary mom voice that used to scare me shitless as a kid, but now just frustrated me, "Elsa's done a good thing for us!"
"Ugh!" I grunted as I got to my feet, kicking the chair on which I had previously been sitting, "She only cares about herself, her supposed stardom! It's pathetic!" I snapped.
I was answered by a sharp slap in the face; hard enough to hurt, but not badly. I placed a hand on my red cheek and glared at my mother.
"This is the best kind of life that people like us can hope for." It broke my heart to hear the woman who raised me say such a thing with so much conviction.
I softened, "There has to be someplace we can buy cheap land." I pleaded, all the venom left my voice, "We can live off the land!"
My mom shook her head as if dismissing the conversation, "you just worry about getting yourself to rehearsal in time." She turned and walked slowly toward the door but stopped short of it. She turned back to me, a small smile on her face as she pointed at me, "And that doesn't mean the last five minutes, mister. I have to go and collect the twins."
I waited until I heard the door bang shut behind her before I let the corners of my mouth tug upward in a smile. But it was a fleeting sensation, every damn day was the same around here; we wake up, clean the camp, rehearse our acts, drink heavily until we have to parade our deformities around on stage for people with deep pockets and normal lives, drink heavily until we pass out, wake up and repeat.
I, myself, had never been a fan of drinking, but on occasion, or a particularly bad night i had been known to imbibe. I always swore to myself that the moment I ever felt as though I truly needed the alcohol I would never touch the shit again. Some of my friends weren't so lucky to have that voice of reason. I dreamed of a day when they could get help, and live lives full of the love and respect that they deserved.
I sighed and looked out my window, where I saw Elsa shaking hands with a beautiful black woman while a man who looked like he could lift my entire trailer with one hand surveyed the camp with his hands around his waist. Looked like I wasn't the only one who was going to be late.
I winced as i walked up to the big top; it sounded for all the world like someone was setting fire to a cat in heat. I flipped open the door to the tent and was shocked to hear that god-awful sound coming from sweet Bette Tattler.
I noticed Bridget sitting off to the side, her sketchbook resting on her knees as she drew furiously, a cigarette sat between her fingers and her tongue stuck out between her full lips. I almost wanted to laugh, before I remembered what an asshole I was to her last night. I looked away, ashamed of myself and making a mental note to apologize later.
"I'm sorry." Bette said, looking down when the woman whom I had seen leave Elsa's tent stopped playing the piano.
"We'll find something else for you to do." Elsa said, waving her hand dismissively and lighting a cigarette, "Juggling, perhaps."
"What about Dott?" Bridget's voice carried from where she was sitting away from the rest of us. Her talent wasn't really one that could be rehearsed; it was just kind of...do or die.
Bette giggled demurely, "Dott doesn't have any talent." The way she said it made it sound as though the very idea was preposterous. I felt bad for Dott, especially when she looked down and said, "it's true. I don't even know that song."
Bridget shrugged and went back to sketching, but I wasn't about to let it go that easily, "So pick a different song." I smiled reassuringly and approached the stage, "Pretend like you're just singing to me."
Dott softened under my encouragement and after a moment she stepped up to the microphone. She opened her mouth and blew everyone away. Her voice was sweet, though underdeveloped, but that would only get better with practice. Even Bridget looked up from her doodling. For a moment I thought I saw her smile, but I quickly dismissed it as a trick of the light; I hadn't seen her smile since she had shown us her tattoos.
When Dott stopped singing the door of the tent opened and the Large man I had seen leaving Elsa's tent walked in, clapping.
"That will do real nice for the show today.." He smiled.
Elsa blanched, "There is a curfew in place! There will not be a show tonight."
We all watched the exchange silently, unsure of who this new interloper was.
"We'll have a matinee." The man shrugged, brushing off Elsa's excuse like a pesky mosquito.
"People don't come to see Freaks in the heat of the day!" Elsa stood her ground, "They come at night. Matinee's are for kiddy shows. This is a real freak show. MY freak show."
"Dell," Came the warning voice of the woman playing the piano, "Be nice. Remember, she is your new boss."
New boss? Great, another stranger in our troupe. I eyed him suspiciously. I didn't like the way he threw his size around. I made eye contact with Bridget and tried to smile, but she looked away before she saw it.
"Three o'clock." Dell said, towering over Elsa, "There WILL be paying asses in these seats. I am gonna go to town and post some bills." He made eye contact with each of us in turn, "Be ready."
I shoved my hands in my pockets and squinted into the sun. How strange, to be performing in the middle of the day. I sighed, two new people again? That's a new act every day for the last three days. In the back of my mind I knew that adding more acts could only help us at that point, but it was strange to have our family grow so exponentially so quickly. I had to admit that between Bridget and Dell, Bridget seemed to be less of a threat. So far she hadn't done anything super suspicious, other than the way she hesitated when she said her name that first day. Now was the time to apologize, I knew, if I waited any longer it would be more awkward.
When I found her, she was perched on the farthest picnic table from where the rest of the group sat, listening to the radio and discussing the confrontation in rehearsal. Bridget sat, her sketchbook beside her, smoking a cigarette and staring blankly into space. She sucked so hard and for so long that I thought the whole thing would burn up. I wondered what she was thinking about.
"Hey." I said as I approached her. Her shoulders stiffened at the sound of my voice, she jumped up and made a move like she was going to leave.
"Wait!" i said as I reached out and grabbed her wrist, she turned quickly and stared at my hand on her wrist. I dropped it quickly. Oh-kay then. I threw my hands up, "Woah, you don't like to be touched; that's cool." I said and shoved my hands in my pockets again. She was wearing a sleeveless dress, her tattoos on full display. I was struck again by their beauty. They were even more impressive up close.
"What do you want?" She snapped, and lit another cigarette with the burning end of her old one. My lungs hurt just watching her.
"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the third degree last night." I said earnestly, rocking on my heals, "It was a stressful night, I don't know what came over me."
Bridget was silent for a beat, regarding me through narrowed eyes. "Why are you apologizing?" she accused, "What do you want?"
What? This girl was nuts, "Look, I don't want anything. I feel bad about what I said to you and I am asking you to forgive me. That's all."
"No one just apologizes." She answered defiantly, further frustrating me. This was turning out to be a total waste of time, I was about to snap at her again. It was just going to be a delusional cycle of apologizes, "You must want something."
I sighed, "I said I'm sorry and that's what I meant. Do you forgive me or not?" My hands were shaking in my pockets from the effort it took to not shake her.
"I guess." She said, turning her back to me. This was the weirdest conversation I'd ever had. I was not backing down.
"Why do you smoke so much?" I asked her. She sighed and turned to face me, her green eyes flashing.
"Do me a favor," She snapped, her voice icy, "Don't ask me any 'Who, where, what, or why' questions." Her dark hair was lifted off her shoulders by the force of her snapping her head back around, making it clear she didn't want me to stay.
Nothing was easy with this girl, not even a simple conversation. I struggled to keep my composure and forced a smile at the back of her head, "Why don't you come and sit with us?" I asked through gritted teeth, trying to keep the poison out of my voice.
"That's a 'why'." She said without looking at me, "I'm not doing 'whys' right now."
I felt my jaw drop as I stared at her shoulders. How could someone so pretty be so nasty? I prickled, wanting so badly to smack the cigarette out of her slim fingers. I was struck with the childish urge to kick the picnic table she was sitting on. Just to bug her. I took a deep breath and walked away. That had not been satisfying.
"Damn!" I said out loud when I was out of Bridget's earshot. Why, if she was the one acting like a bitch, did I still feel guilty?
A/N Cont:
I wanted to address some things that have been left in reviews.
I'm sorry, I do not have a picture for refferance of her body art. It's all coming out of my head. :C Ditto for a face claim, however I would say that the closest person resembling my image of Bridget would be Alison Harvard with black hair and freakles, a narrower face and higher cheekbones. I hope that helps!
Also, the guest reviewer who thinks I deleted a review: Sweetie, no! I would never delete a review, good or bad! I just had a filter on for guest reviews so that they wouldn't show up until two days later! I have since corrected that but since your review was sent before I did, it still got wait-listed! I'm sorry for the confusion and your reviews made my heart happy! :D
As allways, thank you guys for your continued support in the forms of Faves/Follows/Reviews. You have no idea how it makes my day when I come home from work and find new reviews/faves/follows. I LOVE YOU GUYS!
ps. Prepare for a major Bridget/Jimmy moment in chapter 6! Thank you for bearing with me through my awkward begining!