Chapter five: An explaination.

Severus took a moment to process what she had just said, his face mirroring the confusion filling his head. "Excuse me?"

"Your tea. Black, white? Sugar?"

He shook his head momentarily, trying to get his thoughts straight. "Oh, um, Black. No sugar."

"Looks like we have something in common then." Again, that same, bright smile spread across her lips. "I was worried that we wouldn't. Seems this may be an easier task than I originally thought." Cups in hand, she settled herself on the sofa next to Severus, passing him his drink, and propping her feet up on the coffee table, her own cup warming her hands. Unused to someone being so comfortable around him, Severus settled himself a little further down the sofa, earning a smirk and a raised eyebrow from the woman sat next to him.

"Yeah, that's right. Be afraid!" The comment accompanied her very best mock scowl, the kind really bad actors have in movies where everything suddenly turns deadly serious.

"Are you mocking me Madam?" Severus, in turn, put on his own scowl. His, however, was not in the least bit faked. I'm supposed to be protecting her, not bonding over tea and cookies. I'm not here to be made fun of, little upstart.

"It's Merida. And no, of course not, whatever gave you that idea." Smirking into her mug, Merida reached out for the television remote, meaning to switch off the tv, and her eyes settled on the screen. She froze for a second, a faint blush creeping up onto her cheeks, embarrassment and shock flitting over her features, much like it had when she let out her torrent of abuse at him from behind her door. "Oh. Shit. I am so sorry about that. I had no idea that was still on." Severus could visibly see her cringing. Thought not. Putting on an air of superiority he usually saved only for his students, Snape waved a hand at the television screen. "Oh I don't mind at all. Miss. Trelawney" The emphasis he put on her title was painfully audible. "But I would advise you that in the future, should you wish to indulge in pornography before supper, you should probably wait until after you guests have come and gone."

"It was NOT pornography." But despite her statement, her bright red face suggested it was something equally as filthy. "It's called Game of Thrones. It happens to have a very deep and complex plotline, filled with murder, betrayal, war…"

"And gratuitous sex."

"…yes. But that's not why I watch it!"

"I can assure you, Miss Trelawney that I have no interest in your reasons."

"Good." Turning off the telly and settling back into the sofa cushions, Merida went back to cradling her tea, a slight scowl marring her pretty face. "Not that I need to explain them to you anyway."

"There is one thing I would appreciate you clearing up for me."

"Oh really? Coming down off our high horse are we?"

Severus had to take a moment then. He could feel the anger boiling under his skin. He had given his students half a year's worth of detention scrubbing the dungeon toilets for less insulting comments than this little wench was flinging. But she isn't a student, is she. Can't give her detention for flying her mouth off at you. Even if the little trollop might deserve it.

"Believe me madam, if I were on a high horse, I wouldn't get down off of it because of a few badly flung barbs." It seemed that by this point, Merida had given up on trying to spar with him, merely sending a disgruntled "hmmph" his way. A slow smile spread across his face, as he relished the small victory over this small, strange, infuriating woman. Ten points to Slytherin.

"You said earlier that I was less than impressed by your parents' note. I take that to mean that I taught you at some point?"

"Of course. How else would I know who you were?" Draining the rest of her tea, Merida made her way over to the kitchen once more, petting Precious on the head and placing the mug in the sink, before grabbing a wet washcloth and beginning to wipe down her work surfaces. "You were my potions teacher for almost a year and a half. And I can see that you haven't changed a bit."

"Meaning?"

"Well, you're still the same snarky twat that I remember terrorising the classroom."

Severus' eyebrows shot up into his hairline at the audacity of the little witch, before settling back into place in a feral scowl reserved only for Potter, Granger, and any wizard with red hair boasting the name of Weasley.

"Miss Trelawney. I did not apparate all the way to Ireland for some buxom upstart to fling foul mouthed frippery my way and question my teaching methods."

Merida's face seemed to soften at this, an apologetic expression settling over it. "I know Professor. My apologies. I'm not particularly used to company, and I tend to talk before my brain catches up with my mouth." Casting her gaze downwards, she began again on her task of clearing the counters, before throwing the dish cloth in the sink and settling herself once again on the end of the sofa.

Severus grew silent then, taken aback by this woman's sudden change in behaviour. Well, she should bloody well feel sorry. What right has this little chit of a thing to comment on me? He could not help feeling a strange sort of understanding, however. He, more than anyone, could understand the way that solitude changes a person. Determined to break the awkward silence that had fallen upon them, Severus cleared his throat, causing the woman at his side to look up.

"So, for someone who claims to have been my student for a year and a half, how is it I have no recollection of you?" Settling his now tepid tea on the coffee table, he leant back into the softness of the couch, folded his arms, and fixed her with a piercing glare. "It seems you were either entirely unremarkable, or incredibly talented at keeping out of sight."

Merida's face broke into a wistful smile, seemingly unfazed by the potion master's subtle digs. "A little bit of both to be honest with you." Turning herself to face Severus completely, she folded her legs underneath her, and leant back into the couch cushions, mimicking his position. "I enjoyed potions classes, but they weren't particularly my strong suit. The theory made perfect sense, but I always seemed to get the practical aspects muddled up."

"Were you one of the ones who managed to melt one of my cauldrons?"

A rose coloured blush crept into her cheeks as she raised her hands. "Guilty as charged. But only the one time. And it didn't help that my potions partner decided to put chopped wolfs bane in at the exact same time I was putting in the bladderwrack. Gods above that boy was a dolt."

This made Severus snicker. It seems she too has a dislike of incompetence. "And what was this dolt's name, may I ask?"

Merida's face fell once again. "I can honestly say I can't remember. He was in a different house, and I hadn't know him long before they made me leave the school."

A crease appeared between Severus' brows as he frowned. "You were expelled?"

"Not exactly." A whine emitted from the corner of the room, and both of the sofa's inhabitants looked around to see Precious gazing at his owner, an almost worried look plastered on the canine's face. He shuffled forward towards his owner, crawling unceremoniously over Severus' feet ( much to his annoyance)to nuzzle her knee affectionately, leaving a small spot of moisture where his wet nose stained the fabric of her skirts. Leaning back onto his hind legs, Precious teetered slightly before practically falling paws first into Merida's lap, looking up into her face before voicing that worried whine again, like he knew his owner was distressed.

"Oh, come here then, you great lump." Precious barked happily as Merida reached down and pulled him onto the sofa with her, depositing him neatly in her lap, the creature's great stomach flopping over to practically cover most of her lower half. Looking up to meet Severus' questioning gaze, a small smile crept onto her lips. "He knows when I'm feeling a bit down. Silly bugger mothers me too much." Gazing affectionately down at the dog now licking her palms, she let out a long sigh, like she was about to get something of her chest.

"I take it Dumbledore has told you about why I need protecting? My, erm, special circumstances?"

Severus merely nodded, not intending to interrupt her. "I had to leave school because of it. Unlike most magical children, I began to manifest my magic extremely early, around the age of three. Sybil had already set off for her first year at Hogwarts by then, so my mother and father thought the most prudent thing to do would be to write to the headmaster for advice, Professor Dumbledore. He advised that my mother try and teach my how to control my magic until I was old enough to attend school formally, and she did, very well. Aside from the obviously strange age of my magical development, nothing after that seemed out of the ordinary. My powers were not particularly strong, mostly dependant on my emotions. During a tantrum I could be a little devil, I'll admit, but aside from that everything was fine. We grew up in a relatively non-magical household, we lived in quite a small village, with quite a strong Christian following. Most of the neighbours were relatively old, and quite a few had very black and white opinions on goodness and sin, and my parents were right in thinking that if any of them even saw a hint of witchcraft, they'd either have an apoplectic fit, or try and get the pope on the phone to request an exorcism. Insane old dodderers the lot of them."

Precious gave a rather slobbery "hrrmph" in agreement at this, making Merida smirk. "So, needless to say we had all the muggle amenities, dishwaher, washing machine, telephone. No floo, no apparating, no magic at home of any kind. So by the time I turned twelve and finally went to school, I had no idea what magic could really do to me. " Precious whined yet again, and returned to his task of licking the woman's palms, seemingly encouraging her to continue. Leaning her head back against the sofa cushions and taking in a deep breath, she did so.

"It started out relatively small. Voices in my dreams. Usually those of my grandpa, who died a few years before, or my great auntie Celia, who has passed just before I left for school. They weren't unpleasant dreams, just conversations, but when I awoke it would feel like I hadn't slept at all, like I had stayed up the entire night talking to people who weren't there. I asked the other girls in my dorm if they'd perhaps seen me sleepwalking, but apparently I never left my bed until morning. The matron simply told me I had insomnia, and prescribed me a sleeping potion. It never helped, but aside from feeling more tired than usual, I wasn't particularly concerned. My first year went by without much fuss. When I returned home for the holidays, the dreams practically went away. I would still hear whispers in the night, but they didn't keep me up as before, and I was never tired in the mornings. It never occurred to me that it was strange that they lessened at home, with no magic around me. When I returned for my second year, things initially seemed much the same. The voices returned, but they were friendly. Until a few months into the first term. Suddenly, the dreams became nightmares. I started hearing voices I didn't recognise, crying, begging. They sounded lost, and so, so frightened. They wanted to come home. They kept begging me to let them come home. I'd wake up feeling more tired than ever. I couldn't keep up in classes, I started getting detentions for being late and falling asleep at my desk. I tried taking more powerful sleeping draughts, but they just made things worse, made the voices louder. I thought I was going crazy."

Merida paused for a moment, and Severus, who had been staring into his mug until this point, looked up. He was momentarily taken back by her appearance. Her, eyes, which seemed to sparkle with life only minutes before, now looked deadened, a faint glimmering of tears resting in those mahogany orbs. Her mouth was set in a grim line, she looked as if lost in a memory, one that elicited either great fear, or great pain.

"As the year went on, the voices got louder, angrier. They screamed at me, telling me to let them through. They said I was holding them back on purpose, that if I didn't let them through they'd hurt me, drive me crazy, make them join them and feel their sorrow. I would dream of hands, claw like fingers grabbing me, hitting me, and I would wake up with bruises all over my body, fingerprints. I was terrified, too scared to tell anyone in case they thought I was psychotic or something. Then, the other girls in my dorm began complaining of nightmares, of things grabbing them in the night. Some of them began hearing the voices too. The teachers thought it was Peeves or another one of the ghosts playing a prank, they cast wards on the dorm rooms, saying they would keep everything out, but it didn't help. My magic became out of control at a rapid pace. I would snap at one of the girls in my tiredness, and a window would smash, the fireplace would light. I can't remember much of the night I left. I remember my head of house holding me down, telling me to be calm, I was screaming I think. There was glass everywhere, the windows had all been smashed out. One of my room mates, they told me later, had thrown herself out of the window. Dumbledore was there, casting some kind of calming spell to stop me from struggling or hurting myself.

The rest is mostly a blur. My mother filled me in on what Dumbledore had told her once I got back home. She said I was something called a "bound", that the voices I had heard were the voices of dead witches and wizards, trying to come back to earth, through me. I was petrified. She said that while I was at Hogwarts, the potent residual energy from magical activities meant I was more susceptible to the "other side". To be honest, I couldn't explain that to you if I tried. She didn't understand it, so neither do I. All she really understood from Dumbledore was that the magic from Hogwarts had opened me up to attacks from the other side, and that had caused my magical capabilities to spike completely out of my control. As it only happened while I was asleep, my body automatically syphoned off the extra power, like a defence mechanism, and projected the other side onto the other girls, which Is what caused their nightmares. I didn't know at the time, but they had been waking up with bruises too. She said that the night I left, something big had caused my magic to spike tremendously, to almost lethal levels. That's why the windows were all smashed. I'd blown them out. If it hadn't been for the wards on the dorms, the entire tower could have been knocked down. As for the girls, most of them had woken up when the windows started breaking, and had run for their lives, except one girl. Laura Bolton. She was deaf, and hadn't heard the smashing. So she was still in bed once everything in the room was broken, and the power had no place else to go. Mother said, that I was so out of control, she took the full brunt of the other side. She was only thirteen."

Tears began to trickle down Merida's face, only to be lapped away by her adoring guard dog. "Thirteen, and I drove her mad. She was the girl who leapt from the window. She killed herself. If the headmaster hadn't arrived to stop the connection, I could have done the same. The official story told to those who hadn't seen what happened was that the castle's foundations had collapsed under the Hufflepuff dorms, and Laura had been an unfortunate casualty. But Dumbledore insisted that for my safety, and that of my classmates, I should be removed from the school. I should not practice magic. I should not set foot anywhere associated with magic, ever again."

It was at this point that Merida seemed to shake herself out of her daze, and glanced over to where Severus was sat, mouth agape, looking for all the world like a codfish who had just seen the most disturbing horror film in existence. He was speechless, aghast, and utterly horrified. Merida, on the other hand, seemed to be caught in an unexplainable fit of giggles, which gradually turned into snorts, which turned into guffaws. Severus could feel his face get redder as he watched the woman before him, and the spectacle of laughter seemingly aimed at his person.

SHE NEARLY DESTROYED HALF OF THE SCHOOL! SHE WAS ALMOST DRIVEN MAD BY THE DEAD! SHE FUCKING WELL KILLED A GIRL IN HERSLEEP! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS SHE LAUGHING AT!? Unable to control himself any longer, Severus burst.

"What the BLOODY HELL is so funny!" He had sprung up onto his feet, backing away from the obviously insane woman struggling to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…it's just…" Looking up into his face once more, Merida cracked a small, but sincere smile. "Close your mouth. You're gonna catch flies." With that, she let out a great sigh, ran a hand through her cropped mane, and went to put the kettle on.

Severus continued to stare at her incredulously as she washed up her used mug and placed another teabag in it. Precious, who had been unceremoniously deposited on the floor when Merida got up, grumbled loudly, pottered under the coffee table once more, and began snoring loudly. Severus, still lost for words, could do nothing but wait for her to turn around and explain her actions. After a few brief minutes of silence, she obliged. Turning around, and propping the heels of her hands behind her on the sink, she looked Severus square in the eyes. "I'm sorry for just now. That was a lot to put on someone all at once. But I don't tend to beat around the bush much. And I'm sorry for the slight hysteria a moment ago. To be honest, I'm still not entirely sure how to deal with it when I have to explain to people. It all comes back so suddenly, and, it's not always easy to, erm, react appropriately." Well, Severus could certainly understand that. How many times have you done the same thing when you think about HER? Albeit you're usually drunk as a skunk…

"And…" another small smirk graced Merida's lips. "You did look bloody funny." At this, Severus once again donned his signature glower, but for some reason, couldn't quite put his whole heart into it. She's all over the place. No wonder Albus said she needed help. How in the hell is she even staying sane out here on her own? "Comments on my appearance aside, Miss Trelawney…"

"Merida."

"…Merida." The name felt foreign on his tongue, but not unpleasant. Severus realised then that despite her annoying mask of cheeriness and her free use of back chat, he genuinely pitied the girl too much to truly dislike her. Pity. Severus had not felt pity for anyone in a long time. "There is still one thing I don't entirely understand. You may not be able to practice magic regularly, but you evidently have enough power residing in you to level a small village if you so choose. Even without regular practice, if someone were to come after you, you have enough magical capabilities to dispatch them, without even the use of a wand. Why do you need protection from me?"

"Christ, Dumbledore really didn't tell you anything, did he?" With an exasperated look, Merida turned to begin pouring water into her mug. "As I've grown older, my connection to the other side has grown stronger. Like they say, every day you die a bit more. So, naturally, every day the pull gets stronger. It's now got to a point where I don't need residual energy to push me over the edge. If I walk into a place like Hogwarts, sure it would make things almost unbearable, but it wouldn't get to the point it did last time. Before, it happened because I was using my own magic, as well as being exposed to that of others." Slowly, realisation began to creep up on Severus, and the severity of her situation became even clearer.

"I have a fairly good control over my magic now. No more subconscious spiking, no more emotional outbursts. But my psychic link doesn't need other people's power any more. Just mine." She turned back around to face the counter, and drew a large knife out of the block beside her. "If I were to willingly perform any kind of magic, even the smallest levitation charm, the dam would burst, and I could lose control." She proceeded to cut a slice of pie, and offered it to Severus. "Goodbye baking, goodbye Precious, hello other side."

"Pie. Really. Now?"

"It's nice to keep a degree of normalcy."

"So, you can't perform any magic, at all."

"Nope."

"Absolutely nothing,"

"Yup. I am for all intents and purposes, a squib."