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Chapter 4: Roast Mutton
When Harry awoke the next morning, he didn't know where he was. He sat up quickly, put on his glasses, and looked around the room he was in, and the bed he was in. Well bed didn't really describe it. It was really more of an army cot. Then it all came back. The Room of Requirement, Luna, the archway, and the dwarves. He fell back down on his pillow. "Bloody hell." He muttered to himself.
After a few moments he slowly got up, and stretched. "I hope Luna got a better sleep than I did." As he picked up his wand from the table he had placed in on before going to sleep. With a swish, the cot was transfigured back into Bilbo's chair.
Evidently Mr. Baggins was already up and about, as he chose that moment to come into the room. "Oh good, you're awake Mr. Potter." He said.
"Please, just call me Harry, and I know Luna would want you to call her by her first name as well." Harry said with a yawn. "I'm sorry. Not fully awake yet I guess."
"Oh not to worry Mr….Harry. I have the tea on, and there are fresh crumpets, some ham and eggs, sausages, as well as toast, jam, honey, and other thing set out for breakfast."
"Thank you Bilbo, but you didn't have to go to all that trouble to make all that for us. Tea and toast would have been fine."
"It's no trouble. I only made what I usually make every morning."
"What you usually make?" Harry asked. "But don't you live alone?"
"Yes I do." Bilbo answered. "But Hobbits like a good first breakfast in the morning, and if we're going to set out to the Green Dragon Inn later, we'll need something to tide us over."
"Yeah, about that," Harry began. "I wanted to ask you about this 'adventure' as Gandalf calls it. Do you really want to go? I mean, you sounded last night like you were being forced into something you didn't want anything to do with."
"Well," Bilbo began, "at first I didn't. I just didn't say anything because of Gandalf. He can be quite imposing when he wants to be. But I thought about it last night in bed, and I decided that a very big part of me wants to go. I guess it's the Took side of my family coming out. I'm just glad you and you're friend Luna are coming along as well. With your magic, I don't think we'll be in any danger, and this will all be like a vacation."
Harry listened to all this, and thought about what Gandalf had told him and Luna on the way to Bag End. He definitely didn't think it would be a vacation. The wild regions of Middle Earth were still the wild, as Gandalf put it, and it's fraught with dangers. Something the dwarves no doubt knew as well. He made a mental note to watch out for the little hobbit as best he could.
"Well, I don't know about it being a vacation, but it shouldn't be too bad a trip." Harry yawned again. "What time is it anyway?" he asked.
"Oh it's just past seven o'clock. Rather late for me. I usually start my day at dawn, but we were up late last night. You know it was nearly 10 when we got to bed?" Asked Bilbo, who seemed to think 10pm was VERY late.
"Ten o'clock? Really?" Harry asked. "Well, that explains why I was so tired I suppose. But we should get also try to get used to it as we're most likely going to be up much later than that at times in the coming months."
"Later than 10?. Oh my! I'll have to speak to Thorin about that." Said Bilbo. "Adventures are fine, as long as nobody finds out about them that is, but staying up to all hours of the night…that just wont do."
"I wouldn't worry about it too much Bilbo. I'm sure we'll all be getting plenty of sleep on the trip. " said Harry. "And speaking of sleep, is Luna up yet?"
"Yes I am." Came a voice from across the room.
Harry turned and saw Luna coming into the room. "Good morning Luna. Did you sleep well?"
"Wonderfully. In fact, it was the best nights sleep I've gotten in months." Luna told them dreamily. "Mr. Baggins, what kind of mattress was that I was sleeping on? It was like sleeping on a cloud."
"Just a normal goose down one." Bilbo replied. "Don't they have mattresses like that where you come from?"
"Not like that no." Luna answered. "The mattresses we have all have springs in them and they can be rather hard."
"Springs? Iron springs?" Bilbo asked shocked. "Why would anybody put iron like that in a mattress? They'd poke you in the back and keep you awake all night. I think you and Harry both come from a very strange world Miss Lovegood."
Luna smiled. "Sometimes I thing the same thing Mr. Baggins, and please, call me Luna."
"Then you must call me Bilbo Luna. Now, we were just going to sit down and have breakfast. Will you join us?"
"I'd love to Bilbo. I'm actually more hungry than I thought."
-=ooo000ooo=-
Breakfast with a hobbit was something new for Harry and Luna. It was as if someone had crushed down Ron Weasley to half his normal size, but left his stomach the same.
By the time they were done, Bilbo had managed to pack away as much, or more than Harry and Luna had eaten between them. It was just past 8am before they were finished, and Luna, using magic again, had cleaned up all the pans and crockery and had it all put away.
Bilbo had packed a few important things for the trip. Fresh clothes, a cloak, his pipe and tobacco, and some handkerchiefs. This wasn't a problem for either Harry or Luna as they could transfigure anything they needed into clothes as they needed them. They did however borrow two cloaks from Bilbo and after enlarging them considerably, they were ready to set off for the Green Dragon Inn to meet Thorin and Company, as well as Gandalf, who had told all of them the night before that he would be able to accompany them at least part of the was on their journey before he had to leave for his meeting with the White Council.
They met the dwarves at the Green Dragon in Bywater with plenty of time to spare, and found that wouldn't have to walk as they had thought. The dwarves had gotten a troop of ponies both for them to ride, and to carry their supplies. They had also managed to get two normal horses for Harry and Luna. Harry thought they looked like the horses that had been pulling Gandalf's cart.
-=ooo000ooo=-
The journey East from Bywater went pleasantly enough for the group. The dwarves often sang as they rode, providing a great deal of entertainment for Luna and Harry, not to mention a great deal of information, not only about the dwarves in general, but of the wider world of Middle Earth. Gandalf also filled them in on much of the history of the first and second age, which by this time were thousands of years in the past. Bilbo too listened in on these conversations because next to maps, history was one of his favourite subjects, and he very rarely got to learn anything beyond what directly concerned the Hobbits of the Shire.
And so it was that after four days of travel, the found themselves in the town of Bree. A place Bilbo had only heard about, and a village that to his surprise contained hobbits and big people living side by side. They spent the night at an Inn called The Prancing Pony, and then after replenishing some of their supplies, set off the next morning.
At first things had gone well. Bilbo had started wondering why he had been so worried about adventures. They seemed to be having a fine time indeed, and except for the dwarves not stopping for meals as often as he would have liked, he was mostly content.
But as they pressed on, things he started to notice, began to get steadily worse. First there were no more Inns, and the buildings they did pass were mostly old castles that seemed to have been abandoned ages ago. Most of them Bilbo thought had an evil look to them, and he was glad they hadn't stopped near them to spend the night. The roads as well got worse. When they had left Bree, the road had been wide and clearly defined. Now he saw that it was little more than a trail, hardly wide enough for two ponies to walk side by side.
But it was the weather that caused most of his misery. When they had started out from Bywater, it was the middle of May, and the weather had been as good as May could be. But now June was approaching, and the weather had turned cold and wet. In fact it had been raining for the past two days. Bilbo's hood kept dripping water down into his eyes, his cloak was filled with water, and both he and his pony were tired from trudging through mud all day. And I'm sure the rain has gotten into the dry clothes and food bags. He thought to himself. Bother burgling and everything to do with it. I wish I was back home in my nice hole by the fire, with the kettle just beginning to sing! It was not the last time that he would wish this!
Harry and Luna however, were faring better. Harry had charmed both their cloaks to repel water, so they at least were dry. Luna also helped keep his spirits up because, as he found out, Luna loved the rain. That, and because she was so much more in tune with nature than the rest of them, she was able to see something new and exciting everywhere she looked.
It was on their eighth day out of Bree that the first of their trouble really started. The rain had let up that day, but it was still cold and damp when they came at night to a river. It was swollen with the rains of the last few days, and the dwarves knew they would have to be careful when they crossed it the next morning. They had made their camp that night 100 yards from the river in a thick clump of trees, where, they hoped they would be able to stay dry if it started raining again during the night. It did.
The rain started up again a few hours after they went to sleep, but it was the lightning that was the worst. It flashed across the sky in great flashes of violence that caused everyone to wince with each bolt. One of their pack ponies took fright at one particularly loud crack, and bolted into the swollen river, and before they could get him out again, Fili and Kili nearly drowned, and all the baggage that it carried was washed away. Of course it was mostly food, and the company now found that unless they could forage for more, they would have very little to eat in the coming days.
They were all discussing this problem, when Balin, who was always their look-out man, said: "I see a light over there!" Everyone looked to where he was pointing, and sure enough, a bright, warm looking fire could be seen through the trees. They all stared at it for some time, with the dwarves arguing whether or not they should investigate it or not.
"These parts are not too well known, and are too near the mountains. Travelers seldom come this way now, and the old maps are of no use." Said Balin. "They have seldom even heard of the king, and the less inquisitive you are as you go along, the less trouble you are likely to find." He added.
It was then that they all noticed that Gandalf was missing.
Finally Thorin said, "We don't have to worry." After all we have got an expert burglar with us, as well as two other wizards." He said, indicating Harry and Luna. "But for now, it's the burglar's turn," and turning to the hobbit said "You must go on and find out all about that light, and what it is for, and if it's safe for us to approach," said Thorin to the hobbit. "Now scuttle off, and come back quick, if all is well. If not, come back if you can! It you can't, hoot twice like a barn-owl and once like a screech-owl, and we will do what we can."
Bilbo was about to try and explain to Thorin that he didn't know how to hoot like either a barn or a screech owl when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry Bilbo," said Harry. "I'll go with you." And then turning to Luna added quietly. "I don't know where Gandalf has gone off to Luna, but would you stay here and watch the dwarves so that they don't do anything stupid?"
"Just as long as you don't do something stupid Harry." she replied.
"And when have you ever known me to do something stupid?" he asked with a smile.
"Yeah right!" she answered. "Just be careful."
"Always."
-=ooo000ooo=-
Harry cast a silencing spell on himself so as not to make any noise as he approached the firelight. He was going to do the same for Bilbo, but noticed that he didn't have to. The Hobbit seemed to be naturally stealthy, without any outside help. So it was that they were able to get right up to the what they now saw was a cam and campfire.
Around this fire Harry saw there were three VERY large…persons, that Harry guessed were some of troll. The three were talking and arguing amongst themselves.
"Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and bloody 'ell, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrer too," said one of the trolls.
"We haven't ad a blinking bit of manflesh fer long enough," said a second. "What the 'ell William was a-thinkin' of to bring us into these parts at all,
beats me – that and the drink runnin' short." he said jogging the elbow of
William, who was taking a pull at his jug.
William choked. "Shut yer gob!" he said as soon as he could. "Yer can't
expect folk to stop here for ever just to be et by you and Bert. You've et the better part of a village and a half between yer, since we come down from the mountains. How much more do d'yer want?" he said, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.
"We should try and get the meat they're toasting." Harry whispered to Bilbo. "I'll creep around to the other side of their camp and make some noise. I should be able to get them all to follow me. When they do, you creep in, grab the meat off the fire, and get back to the dwarves camp. Okay?"
"What about you though? Will you be alright?" Bilbo asked.
"Don't worry about me Bilbo. I've dealt with trolls before." Harry replied, thinking about the incident in his first year.
Bilbo nodded and Harry started to make his way around the edge of the firelight. Finally he got to the other side of the camp where he removed the silencing spell on his feet, and started to rustle the bushes. He also broke a few twigs. This of course got the attention of the trolls.
"What the 'ell is that?" William asked.
"Sounds like someone moving through the woods." Said the troll named Bert.
"Well lets go look. Maybe it's sumpting we can eat that's better than mutton." Said the third troll who was named Tom.
The three got up and started off towards the noise Harry was making and soon the camp was deserted. Bilbo crept into their camp and started taking the mutton leg off the fire. He had finally gotten it loose, (It was heavier than it looked) when he felt a large hand grab him around the neck and lift him up off the ground.
"Blimey, Bert, get back ere. look what I've copped!" said William.
"What is it?" said Bert, coming back into the firelight.
"Bugger me, if I knows! What are yer?"
"Bilbo Baggins, a bur— a hobbit," said poor Bilbo, shaking all over, and wondering how he was going to get out of this mess before they throttled him.
"A burrahobbit?" said they a bit startled. Trolls aren't very bright, and tend to be very suspicious about anything new to them.
"What's a burrahobbit got to do with our food, anyways?" said William.
"And can yer cook 'em?" said Tom.
"Yer can try," said Bert, picking up a very sharp looking skewer.
"He wouldn't make more than a mouthful," said William, who had already had a fine supper, "not after he was skinned and boned."
"P'raps we might make a pie if there's more like him round about," said
Bert. "Here you, are there any more of your sort a-sneakin' in these here woods?"he said looking at the hobbit.
"Yes, lots," said Bilbo, before he remembered not to give his friends away.
"No, none at all." he said immediately afterwards.
"What d'yer mean?" said Bert, holding him up by the hair and shaking him .
"What I'm saying," said Bilbo with a gasp, "Is that I'm all alone here and I was hungry. So I tried to get some of your mutton."
"Poor little bugger," said William. He had already had as much supper as he
could hold; also he had had lots of beer. "Poor little bugger! Let him go!"
"Not till he says what he means by lots and none at all," said Bert. "I don't
want to wake up and find me throat cut in me sleep. Hold his toes in the fire, till he talks!"
"I won't have it," said William. "I caught him anyway."
"You're a bloody fool, William," said Bert, "as I've said afore this evening."
"And you're a lout!"
"And I won't take that from you. Bill Huggins," says Bert, and puts his fist in
William's eye.
Then there was a gorgeous fight. Bilbo had just enough wits left, when Bert
dropped him, to scramble out of the way and into the woods where he was grabbed by the now returned Harry.
"Shhhh!" Harry said to him. "Are you alright?"
"Just a bit knocked around. Otherwise I'm fine." Bilbo whispered to him. "What should we do?"
"Let's let them fight for now. Dawn's nearly here, and if these trolls are anything like the trolls back home, they'll turn to stone when the sunlight hits them."
Bilbo nodded, and then turned his attention back to the fighting trolls, who were still fighting like cats dogs, and calling one another all sorts of perfectly true and applicable names in very loud voices. Soon they were locked in one another's arms, and rolling nearly into the fire kicking and thumping each other.
Right in the middle of the fight up came Balin. The dwarves had heard the sounds of the fight, and despite Luna trying to stop them, they started off one by one to creep towards the light as quietly as they could to see what the noise was all about and to help if they could.
No sooner did Tom see Balin come into the light than he gave a shout. Trolls simply detest the very sight of dwarves (uncooked). Bert and Bill stopped fighting at once, and "Get a sack, Tom, quick!" they said, and before Balin knew what was happening, a sack was over his head, and he was down.
"There's more to come yet," said Tom, "or I'm mighty mistook. Dwarves don't travel alone." said he. "No burra- hobbits, but lots of these here dwarves. That's about the shape of it!"
"I reckon you're right," said Bert, "and we'd best get out of the light."
Harry turned to Bilbo and whispered. "Bilbo, go around and warn the others not to come into the camp. I'll try to rescue Balin."
"Alright." He said and started creeping off in the direction Balin had come from. He hadn't gone far when he met Thorin. "It's trolls!" whispered Bilbo. "They're hiding in the bushes with sacks, and they plan to grab all of you as you come into they're camp." He told Thorin.
"O! are they?" said Thorin, and he jumped forward to the firelight. But before they could jump on him, he grabbed a big branch from the campfire; and Bert got that end in his eye before he could step aside. That put him out of the fight for a bit. Bilbo did his best to help. He caught hold of Tom's leg-as well as he could, it was as thick as a young tree-trunk, and ended up being sent spinning up into some bushes, when Tom kicked the sparks up in Thorin's face. He got the branch in his teeth for that, and lost the two front ones. It did not improve his mood. But just at that moment William came up behind and popped a sack right over Thorin's head and down to his toes. And so the fight ended.
Harry had been watching all this from the side but had been afraid to cast any spells in case he hit either Thorin or Bilbo. Where the hell was Gandalf when you needed him?
-=ooo000ooo=-
Gandalf, as it turned out was not too far away, and had in fact gotten back to see the end of the fight. He couldn't see any more of the Dwarves or the Potter lad, but he could sense him nearby.
-=ooo000ooo=-
Harry listened as the trolls started arguing about whet to do with Balin and Thorin. The argument looked like it was going to end in another fight, but finally they decided that they would sit on and squash the dwarves, and then make them into a pie which they would have for their breakfast (or dinner) the next night.
"Who shall we sit on first?" said a voice that sounded like Tom.
"Better sit on the second fellow first," said Bert, whose eye had been damaged by Thorin. He thought Tom was talking.
"Don't talk to yerself!" said Tom. "But if you wants to sit on the second one, sit on him. Which is he?"
"The one with the yellow stockings," said Bert.
"Bollocks! It's the one with the grey stockings," said a voice like William's.
"I made sure it was yellow," said Bert.
"Yellow it was," said William.
"Then what did yer say it was grey for?" said Bert.
"I never did. Tom said it."
"That I never did!" said Tom. "It was you."
"Two to one, so shut yer mouth!" said Bert.
"Who are you a-talkin' to?" said William.
"Now stop it!" said Tom and Bert together. "The night's gettin' on, and dawn
comes early. Let's get on with it!"
Harry had just stated to understand what was going on when a loud, booming voice called out
"Dawn take you all, and be stone to you!"
As the voice said this, the light came over the hill, and there was a mighty twitter in the branches. William never spoke for he stood turned to stone as he stooped; and Bert and Tom were stuck like rocks as they looked at him.
"Excellent!" said Gandalf, as he stepped from behind a tree, and helped Bilbo
to climb down out of a thorn-bush. "Are you alright Mr. Baggins?" he asked Bilbo. "Not too badly shaken up?"
Bilbo, not believing that he had made it out of this mess alive, simply nodded.
"And what about you Mr. Potter? All is well with you I hope?"
"I'm alright." Said Harry, stepping back into the firelight. "But where were you? We could have used your help."
"I was off looking ahead." replied Gandalf.
"And what brought you back in time?" asked Bilbo, talking for the first time since the old wizard had re-appeared.
"Looking back." He answered simply.
Suddenly Bilbo understood what Harry had gotten earlier. It was the Wizard's voice that had kept the trolls bickering and quarrelling, until the light came and put an end of them.
Harry raised his wand and muttered something Bilbo couldn't catch, and he saw to his surprise a large stag shoot out of his wand and go running off through the woods.
"What was that?" he asked Harry.
"Just a message to Luna, to tell her and the others that it's safe to approach." He answered
The next thing was to untie the sacks and let out Balin and Thorin. They had nearly been suffocated, and were both very annoyed: they had not at all enjoyed lying there listening to the trolls making plans for making them into a pie, and had to hear Bilbo's and Harry's account of what had happened to them twice over, before they were satisfied.
By this time Luna and the rest of them had arrived, and Gandalf said "The trolls must have a cave or a hole dug somewhere near here to hide from the sun in. We must try to find it!"
They searched around, and soon Ori found a big door of stone leading into a cave. But they could not open it, not even they all pushed on it. Gandalf tried various spells, but he couldn't get the door to open either.
Finally, Luna stepped up and pointing her wand at the door said "Alohomora!"
The door seemed to shake a little, but remained shut. Luna tried again, with the same results. "Harry you try. You're powerful than I am, so maybe you can get it to open."
Harry took out his wand and pointing it at the stone door said "Alohomora!"
The door shook more violently this time but still refused to open. Harry sighed and put his wand back into his cloak, and took out another. This wand was white, and very intricately carved.
Harry," said Luna, whose eyes had gone wide. "Isn't that Professor Dumbledore's wand?"
Harry nodded.
"But it was buried with him. How did you get it?" she asked
"It's a long story Luna, and I tell you the whole thing at a later time. But for now, this is the Elder Wand, and Dumbledore won it from Grindelwald when he defeated him in 1945. If this can't open the door, nothing can." And then pointing the wand at the door repeated "Alohomora!"
There was a loud *click* and the door shifted inwards about an inch. Harry pushed it open, and they all went inside. All that is save for Luna. She was standing at the entrance way, a thoughtful look on her face. Harry could see she was thinking about the Elder Wand, could almost see the wheels turning in her head, and wasn't at all surprised when she suddenly looked up at him, a look of shock on her face. Harry saw her mouth the words "The Hallows?"
He nodded, and she came inside.
They found many old bones piled here and there around the cave, and a very nasty smell was in the air. They also found a great deal of food in the cave. Most of it up on shelves. They also found a great many pots full of gold coins standing in a corner. There was also a large assortment of clothes hanging on the walls; too small for trolls, and Harry figured they belonged to the victims of the trolls. Among the clothes, were several swords of various makes, and sizes. Three caught their eyes particularly, because of their beautiful scabbards and jewelled hilts, and in Harry's case, because the blade of one was completely black. Gandalf and Thorin each took one of these; and Bilbo took a dagger in a leather sheath. It would have been too small for the others, but it was as good as a short sword for the hobbit.
"These look like good blades," said the wizard, half drawing them and looking at them with a raised eyebrow. "They were not made by trolls, or by any smith among men in these parts and days; but when we can read the runes on them, we shall know more about them."
Harry looked at the sword blades and said. "Luna, you took ancient runes. Can you read these?"
Luna looked at the runes that were inscribed on the blades and shook her head. "No I can't. Some of the runes look failure, but most are unlike anything I ever seen."
"Elrond should be able to read them. He's the greatest lore master of the age, and we'll be at Rivendell within a week." Gandalf said finally.
"Until them, let's get out of this horrible smell!" said Fili.
So they carried out the pots of coins, and all the food that looked fit to eat, also carried out one barrel of ale which was still full and sealed. But before they all left, Harry asked Luna. "Do you want one of the swords Luna? There are still one or two that look like good ones."
"No I don't think so." Luna replied. "I have my wand," and then almost as an afterthought said, "and I have you."
Harry blushed slightly at this, but didn't say anything, and together, they left the trolls cave. Happy to get back out into the fresh air.
"Harry," Luna began. And Harry thought she was going to bring up the Hallows and the wand. But she didn't. Instead she asked. "why did you pick that rusted old sword? There were other there that looked like they were in much better shape"
Harry pulled the old sword out of its scabbard and held it up. "It's not rusty Luna. It's almost like the black finishes I've seen on military weapons." He saw she didn't know what he was talking about. "Dudley used to have a bayonet from the Vietnam war that had a black finish on it, and this looks something like it. The blades were coated with something to help prevent them from rusting, and this sword looks like how they must have looked when they were new."
Luna nodded her understanding. "So you took it because it wouldn't rust?" she asked.
"No I took it cause it looked cool." Harry said with a laugh.
-=ooo000ooo=-
By the time the Dwarves got everything out of the cave, they felt like breakfast, and being very hungry, they didn't turn their noses up at what they had gotten from the cave. Their own provisions had been few. Now they had bread and cheese, and plenty of ale, and bacon to toast in the embers of the fire. In the end, they were all content with their late supper, even Bilbo.
After that they slept, they brought up their ponies, and carried away the pots of gold, and buried them secretly not far from the track by the river, putting a great many spells over them, just in case they ever had the chance to come back and recover them. When that was done, they all mounted up again and continued on the path towards the East.