LOK Stateless Man One
Foad U'Pad
I don't own LOK & don't earn anything from this fiction
Rated M for possible adult language, themes, violence & sexual situations. Fallout from the end of Displaced Person, so read it first. You know what they say about payback...
I'm standing in the tunnels saying something to Asami when I see Zhu Li...but this Zhu Li is 3 meters tall with a medieval battle-axe swinging not at Raiko but at me, slicing towards me, I feel the ax begin to slice through my body as I scream, sitting straight up, my body covered in a cold sweat.
"Damn," I think to myself, "that's the third time tonight! Well, I need a hot soak." So I grab Guang Ci and my workout gear before heading to the communal hot baths. As I exit the locker room I notice Asami weeping into Korra's shoulder. Not wanting intrude on the trauma and loss that Asami is going through I turn towards the alcove off of the hot baths.
It all seems so real, hearing my Father's last words, "I love you Asami.", then feeling myself being ejected from the hummingbird mecha, but instead of Kurvia's Giant Mecha, its a giant Zhu Li, she's decapitating my Father the same way she did Raiko. While a hideous version of Foad, his entire body glistening in blood, with a grin that covers half his face, his oversized eyes bloodshot stares at me silently. I try to run, but my escape pod is hanging in mid air above the growing wreckage that is Republic City. This same scene keeps repeating over and over again.
This time I hear Korra's voice calling to me, "Sami, wake up. Please wake up!" This time I wake up, my girlfriend's arm wrapped around my torso, one holding the back of my head against her shoulder, the other in the middle of my back, holding me tight against her. I'm trembling, covered in a cold sweat, my nightgown plastered against my skin. I begin to sob into Korra's chest trying to bury myself into her strong arms, anything to feel safe.
As Asami crys into my chest, I ask "Another bad dream?"
"NNNo, the same one over and over again, it's all so horrible! I'm afraid to go back to sleep, this the 4th time tonight. It was 5 last night, Korra what am I going to do? I can't go on like this!"
"Sweetie, let's go to the communal hot baths, a good soaking will work out some of that stress! And Kya likes to be there early in the morning too. Talking to her can help, she should know of some meditation techniques that could help interpret your dreams."
"Korra interpreting my dreams isn't the issue, dealing with the death of my Dad, watching helplessly as Kurvia crushed him. Feeling the same type of helplessness as Zhu Li decapitated Raiko covering the two of us in his blood! Stopping them so that I can wake up refreshed and happy in your arms, not drained and crying my eyes out!"
Crestfallen at being unable to raise her girlfriends spirits Korra replies "I still think that Kya can help, I want you to feel better too!"
"I know you do, Honey, I just haven't felt this helpless since Zaheer poisoned you. I don't want to take 3 &1/2 years for me to get past this, I want to be happy with you know! "
"I know, Sami, I know. What took me so long was that . much of who I am is based on how physically strong I am and I couldn't get that back until Toph helped me to get the last of the poison out of my system. Who you are is based on how smart, strong and capable you are. You haven't lost those attributes which is why you will be able to overcome this so much faster than I did!" "Thank you for that Korra, but what happened to beautiful and sexy?", as Asami nuzzles Korra's ear.
"MMMMM, I...I didn't want to come across as shaaaallloow...", as Asami nibbles my ear lobe, "you Avatar BBBenddder you!"
"Why thank you," Asami purrs into her ear, "now let's get to the baths, I really need to see Kya."
As the two young women change in the locker, Korra darts out and seeing Kya talking with Zhu Li darts back in to warn Asami.
"I don't think I'm really ready to see Zhu Li but,you and Kya are here...let's try this." As Korra and I leave the locker room to approach Kya, I can't take my eyes off of Zhu Li. Try as I might I can't stop staring at this woman who haunts my sleep, the images that are leaving me a quivering mass of pain and fear again and again over the last 2 nights. I'm barely in the same room and I can't breathe, I'm shaking like a leaf, my heart feels like it's going to explode in my chest. As I collapse into Korra, I whisper "Get me out of here, please, I can't do this..."
As Asami and I exit the locker room she seems alright until she can see Zhu Li in an alcove out of sight of the entrance. But once Asami can the woman that is haunting her sleep I feel her lean in to me, trembling and taking gasping breaths whisper to me "Get me out of here, please, I can't do this...", as I hold my love close to me, I guide her to the far side of the baths, away from the alcove. .. As I approach the alcove I hear the voice of Sifu Kya, thinking to myself that she may have some way to help me deal with the reoccurring nightmare I've been having over the last 2 nights. When the alcove comes into view I see the back of one woman's head, while in profile is Kya.
"Ah, Foad, we were just discussing you. I don't believe that you've been formally introduced, Foad U'Pad I would like you to meet Zhu Li Moon,..." the rest of Kya's words fade into the roaring that now fills my ears, the blood rushing from my face as the woman who haunts my sleep turns towards me..."Foad...Foad, are you alright?" as I hear a concerned Kya ask.
"I'm sorry Sifu Kya. Ms. Moon, I was surprised by your presence. I must apologize, I'm still coming to terms with our first meeting.", brusquely, as I turn to leave.
"Foad, you must know that Zhu Li meant you no harm," exclaims Kya, "her rage was directed at Raiko only!"
"Knowing and Feeling can be two different things Sifu. I know what happened to you, I saw where you were kept Ms. Moon. I saw your clothing that was sliced from your body. I saw where you were hung by your wrist's. I saw the body of...of that thing that hurt you, who hurt Verrick.", as I'm giving this description Zhu Li is becoming visibly upset, so Kya draws her into a comforting embrace, "What I Feel is I that is you are the 2nd woman, in less than 24 hours, that has scared the shit out of me on this planet! Literally! I am having nightmares of you doing to me what you did to Raiko. I've had to deal with things like this before. I have gotten past them by facing them, but I'm not ready to face Zhu Li.", as I go back to the locker room to change I notice that Korra and Asami have left as well.
As my overwhelming fear subsides in the safety and strength of Korra's arms, I'm able to speak without sobbing, "Can we go back to your room? I don't want to be here if Zhu Li comes by." Korra picks me up bridal style and walks into the locker room and sets me down on a bench.
As I set my shaken girlfriend on a bench, I hope that I'm keeping my worries from my face, "Asami I'm going to Water Bend us dry, then you can change, ok." As she nods silently, I am becoming more concerned about the changes she is showing over the last few days. After we dress, I turn towards Asami, "Will you be alright for a moment, I need to make sure that Kya will come see you?" Asami gives me a weak smile and a nod, I head back to the baths. As I leave the locker room I see Foad disappear into the men's changing area.
As I enter the alcove I overhear Zhu Li "Sifu Kya, if Foad is aware of what happened to me why is he so abrupt?"
"What you did in front of Foad and Asami has made them feel very uncertain around you. As Foad said he knows why you did what you did and supports you, but when he see's you he is overwhelmed by his feelings. I would ask that, for the near future you avoid both of them. Until I tell you otherwise. At this point it is not good for you to be around Asami or Foad."
"Korra! I didn't see you there, how can I help you?"
"Sifu Kya, I was wondering if you would stop by my room as soon as your free? I need...I need you to help Asami, wwhat she's been through this last 5 days is more thannn she can handle...", as Korra's eyes swell up.
"Of course Korra, I'll just be a few minutes here, ok?"
"Thank you Sifu Kya, we'll be waiting." Korra says as she heads back to the locker room. As the two women exit the baths walks by them as if they aren't there, heading towards the practice grounds. "He's in a hurry! I overheard Kya say he's having similar issues with Zhu Li that you are."
"I..I'm seeing him in my dreams too...He's standing drenched in blood, the light glistening off him, with a big, toothy grin that seems to cover half his face...iittt's just scary."
As I bolt out of the baths I see no one as I walk quickly towards the practice grounds, Guang Ci on my back, hoping to get past these dreams and growing apprehension I'm having around Zhu Li. I hope that there aren't other triggers I haven't noticed yet.
"Heart of the Immortal One, you are concerned of this one memories effect on you?", ask's Guang Ci.
As I think back to Guang Ci, as I begin my forms on the practice grounds "Yes Guang Ci, I have undergone a similar traumatic event in the past and was rendered incapable of dealing normal life for 18 months, before I was "cured". And I was one that held up as a "Shining Example!" Of how well the treatment worked."
"So the memories still had a negative effect on your life?", asks Guang Ci.
"Oh yes! The treatment allows me to recognize the symptoms and using biofeedback techniques to minimize the effects of the symptoms. Though the way we remember and record memories had recently been discovered a treatment had not been developed that would block the re-recording of the traumatic memory."
"I can take those memories from you if you wish.", replies Guang Ci.
On hearing this I freeze in the middle of my forms, thinking "Whaaat? You have that tech? Could you do this for anyone? What would...how would it happen?"
"Yes, I have the "tech", as you say. I would have to be held and you would have to remember the event, the more detail you can remember the more complete the removal. I can do it now, if you like."
I pause, my mind a blank, when I mentally reply "No, I need to think on this." As I quickly sheath Guang Ci. Setting Guang Ci against a tree I step away thinking "if it sounds too good to be true..., I need to find out more about this sword. Sokka was its first owner, right Sifu Kya said he was her Uncle...she knows about Guang Ci." I see Zi Hao, one of the White Lotus squad leaders, and call him over. "Zi Hao have seen Sifu Kya in the last hour?"
"Yes, Master U'Pad, she was entering Avatar Korra's quarters about 10 minutes ago."
"Thank you, Zi Hao. Are you headed to the White Lotus barracks?"
"Yes, Master U'Pad, what can I do for you?"
"Would you return Sokka's sword to the arms room, I don't want it with me if I speak to the Avatar or the Sifu. Thank you for your assistance Zi Hao."
As he takes Guang Ci from where I placed it, Zi Hao bows, "May peace and balance fill your days."
It's been a day since that unknown Water Bender forced the van off the road. I can't tell if they are following us down the canyon towards the city, Shui's got at least busted rib, she may even have a concussion. I'm not much better either. I'm afraid that Shui was right about Raiko trying to sweep us
under the rug. We should make it to the outer tunnels before sundown. I just need to get us to one of the old emergency bunkers for food and shelter.
"Qiang, how much further to the tunnels?", moans Shui.
"Just a couple of hours, buddy. Once there you can rest while I try to find out what's going on."
"I still think we should get right to the Avatar for sanctuary!"
"Yeah, but I think that you need time to heal, and I'm not sure if she's still in the City. Let's just take this one step at a time, ok?"
After leaving Zhu Li at the baths and going to Korra's room, I tap at the door. I hear her footsteps pad across the wooden floor and Korra slides the door open. "Korra how is Asami?"
"Not good Sifu, not good.", As she whispers to me Korra is hugging herself, rubbing her palms up and down her arms, "As Asami and I left the baths we saw Foad bolt past us, I mentioned to Asami that he's having similar issues. Asami told me that he appears in her dreams as a terrifying grinning face covered in blood. I think that she is afraid of him as well."
"I'm sorry to hear this Korra. What's happening to Asami isn't something that is well understood, as their only 6 cases on record. 4 are from the end of the hundred years war, while Asami and Foad are the most recent. He has said some things that lead me to believe that he has suffered this malady before. I only hope that he can provide me with some ideas in helping Asami. I'm going to talk to Asami, if you could wait outside, please."
After Kya asks me to wait outside my room while she talks to Asami, I pace back and forth rubbing my upper arms with my hands, hoping that Kya can help Asami when I notice someone has silently fallen in step with me. As I look up to see Foad, I exclaim "Spirits, how did you do that?"
"Your just extremely worried about Ms. Sato, Avatar Korra. I've been pacing with you for the last minute or so, I've spoken to you, but you've been whispering to yourself. Korra I've been through this myself and Asami will come through. She's got you and her family and...", as I say this Korra gives me a cold, hate filled glare, "I'm sorry Avatar, what did I say..."
"You Ass, Asami has no family, she only has me and a few friends!" I bitterly exclaim at him, "She watched her father die after ejecting her from hummingbird mecha and in her nightmare's your there, your head shining from blood with a grin that covers half your face!"
Using a calm, soft tone I say, "Korra, look at me, listen to me. I'm sorry that Asami is in such pain, I've been there before and I know how much it hurts. Not just for Asami, but for those who know and love her, like you!"
"I'm sorry Foad, I 'm the Avatar, the single most powerful Bender in the world and I don't know how to help her!"
"Korra the best thing you can do for Asami is what you're doing now. Be there for her, give her a shoulder to cry on, arms to hold her, make her feel safe and loved. I didn't have that when I went through this 30 years ago, but the men and women in my support group who had someone close all told me that it helped them."
"Thank you Foad, and I'm sorry for snapping at you. I overheard Kya and Zhu Li and understand that you are having issues similar to Asami's. Is there any way I can help you?"
"Yes, and I assure you that this does relate back what's happening to Asami. What do you know about the Spirit in Sokka's sword, Guang Ci?"
"I was told by Vaatu that it is an old Spirit, old when Vaatu and Ravaa were young. It gives its full name as Guang Ci Haochi Hun in the old tongue. Sifu Kya tells that Her Uncle Sokka believed that it would eat his most cherished and intense memories...like the one's that are hurting Asami! Foad how did you know?"
"It offered to remove my painful memories, but only after I mentioned that my world had found out how memories stored, recalled and then stored again. It's like your memory is a mover, your watching it. But when you watch it its like your erasing the film and then reshooting it. We had figured out how to stop the reshooting. That's when Guang Ci offered to help.
"This sounds wonderful, it can help Asami! I have to tell her!"
"Korra, stop! Have you ever seen or done something that looks like a good idea, but turns out to have been the worse choice you could have made? I've found that when you don't have a lot on information or don't ask the right questions things can go wrong in a big way."
"What do you mean?"
"You mentioned that Sokka thought the Spirit was taking his most intense memories. What if it did that to Asami? What if in taking the memory of Raiko's death it took away an intensely good memory. Like your first kiss, a memory of her mother, when she first told you she loves you...you see where I'm going with this?"
"This could be a really bad kettle of fish!"
"Exactly, which is why I needed to talk to Kya as well. I need to know what Guang Ci is up to before its let loose in any one's memory...though it could be used as a form of punishment...a mind wipe of a violent offenders memory and desires...death of personality. Please don't mention this to Asami, I don't want her getting any false hopes."
Lin wakes to someone knocking on her office door, lifting her face from the desk, a report stuck to her face, thinking "Damn, I'm to old for this!", feeling her back ache as she sits up from having slept slumped over her desk for Spirits know how long. "What is it!" she yells at the door, pulling the report from her face.
Ru, her administrative assistant sticks his head in "Chief, Fire Lord Izumi is here for your 0430 in her office."
As Lin glances at the clock above the door to see that its 0445, muttering "damn", as Izumi sweeps into the Chief's office.
"Chief Bei Fong I would to discuss the transfer of custody of Verrick and Moon for the role they played in the attack on my son, the former Crown Prince, to my forces!"
"Fire Lord Izumi, as the remaining senior civilian executive of the United Republic of Nations, I must decline. Your son, General Iroh is the Commander of our military and any investigation is under the sole authority and responsibility of the United Republic! Now if you will excuse me I have a meeting with Master Tenzin on Air Temple Island.", as Lin walks by Izumi she places her hand on Lin's arm.
"Lin, please I just want the parties responsible for attacking my son to pay!", pleads the concerned mother.
Looking at the distraught mother's eyes, Lin replies "Izumi, that man died during the 2nd attack on the Spirit Cannon."
Then I want the fools that told him how to use that weapon or I will destroy the rest of this city!"
"At this point I can tell you that Raiko became unbalanced due to the damage caused by Team Avatar's repulsing Kurvia's attack and blamed anyone associated with Kurvia's defeat. Verrick and Zhu Li were 2 of those people that Raiko was capture and tortured. If you want me to hand over 2 of his victims just so you can sate some misplaced maternal rage you've got another thing comin'! I want you to begin withdrawing your troops by mid day, your "Help" is no longer needed!", as Lin turns and leaves her detective's empty squad room and yells "Ru, you're with me! "
As I enter the hallway outside Korra's room I see Foad speaking to Korra and overhear "...Asami, I don't want her getting any false hopes." As I walk up to them Foad continues, "Sifu Kya, just who I'm looking for."
As I turn to greet Kya I ask, "Is it alright for me to go in"
"Oh yes Korra, spend as much time as you can with her. Asami will need know that she's not alone in this." I reply to her, "I'm hoping that you can ease her fears."
As I enter our room Asami is at the window watching the sunrise over the eastern mountains, turning as she hears me. Reaching out with one arm she waves me over, "Come here you!", as Asami wraps her arm around my shoulder, I wrap my arm around her waist, leaning into her tall frame. "So, what does the beautiful and talented Ms. Asami Sato have on her agenda for today? Anything a little ole Avatar like me can help you with?"
At this I turn my head towards my shorter girlfriend and lean in smelling her hair and murmur "I can think of lot's of my "little ole Avatar" can help me with," as I move my hand from Korra's muscular
shoulder to her wonderfully toned neck, lightly tracing my fingers up towards her ear, "but most of them we really, really shouldn't do in public!", watching the flush rise from under her high collar and up her face.
"A..Asami", I stammer as her porcelain fingers trace up my neck to fondle and tug at my ear lobe, I feel her turn towards me, bringing her other graceful hand up to cup my cheek and leaning her forehead down to touch mine her emerald eyes gazing into mine, whispering...
"Korra, your so easy!", as I break away from our embrace, "Let's get some breakfast and then get into the city to assess the damage.", as my girlfriend stands there pouty lipped, then...
"Asami, you tease! That's twice before breakfast...ohhh you are so going to pay!"
While Korra turns towards her room I continue speaking with Sifu Kya, "Kya, Guang Ci made me an offer on the practice grounds that I'm a little hesitant to take without further guidance. Since you are the Senior Healer here and you are the niece of the swords previous master I'm hoping for some help."
Well, let start by telling you that Guang Ci's full name is Guang Ci Haochi Hun, which translates as Light Sting Gluttonous Eater of Souls. An more accurate translation would be Thief of Memories. What it does is offer to remove a painful memory and have you hold the bared blade by the hilt and point. Then you recount the memory verbally with as much detail as possible, Guang Ci will prompt you for details, like the lighting, smells, sounds as much detail as it can get you to recall. The problem is that it doesn't stop there! By this point Guang Ci is in control and you can't let go of the blade. It keeps asking for emotional memories, negative then positive ones.", at this point the memory of finding Uncle Sokka curled up his arms held straight out in front of him...overwhelms me.
At this point I see Kya begin crying and hugging herself, "Kya, if Sokka couldn't let go of the blade how did he get free?
"I found him first, when my Mom sent me to get him for the evening meal, Uncle Sokka was curled up in a ball on his side, but his arms were straight out in front of him. It was really scary, he had this pleading look on his face, but was speaking in a monotone voice about when he and my Mom first met my Dad. M...My Uncle never spoke like that ever! I think I screamed for help, but it took my Mom, Dad, Bumi and me to get the sword away from him. Uncle never touched that sword again."
At the end of this tale Kya is shaken and in tears, as I pull her into a comforting embrace, placing her head against my shoulder, stroking her hair, "Damn, I'm sorry Kya, I didn't know how close you were to this. I am sorry your family lost so much to that Spirit, can I ask how old you were then?"
"I...I was 16, why?"
"It must have been so confusing not knowing what was happening to your Uncle. So this is when the sword went up on the Armory wall?"
"Yes, and thank you for your concerns."
As I round the corner leading to Korra's room I find the younger looking man that I am developing feeling's towards and my long time lover embracing, Foad stroking her hair! I bark, "Foad, what are you doing with my cousin?"
As I hear Lin bark at me I extend my arm closest to her, inviting her in, "Kya was telling me about the last time her Uncle Sokka held Guang Ci...does this make Sokka your dad?", as I feel a small giggle from Kya, I lean towards Lin and pull her into my chest next to Kya, "It must have been hard having him lose so many of his memories of you when you were so young."
As I feel his voice rumbling through his chest, his concern strangely overwhelming me at the memory of what we all lost that day, I begin to tear up. Looking across his chest to Kya I see her whisper "let's keep him", hoping it will work I wink back. "Thank you, Foad. What brought that story up Kya?"
"Guang Ci offered to remove the memory of Raiko's death, but Foad didn't trust it."
As I look up at him I say, "That's a good call, Foad. What ideas do you have next?"
As I look down to answer Lin, I ease my embrace on these 2 women, "I would like someone to talk to Asami about designing a restraint system where you can touch Guang Ci, but not grip the blade with some way to break contact when we want to end its feeding on our memories. Since I am another trigger for her it shouldn't be me. I can give a rough sketch to Kya of what I'm thinking of."
As I listen to Foad's voice rumble through his chest as he explains what he wants to do, I tighten my embrace, "Not on your life, Pretty Boy, I saw what that thing did to my Poppa Sokka! I don't want you to lose any good memories!"
Kya, still embracing Foad, reaches out to cup Lin's face, "Honey, this may work! As a back up we can have several White Lotus members in protective gear to pull them apart if needed."
"That's a good idea, Kya!", Foad says, "Though if I appear to be just sitting there without speaking for ...say 3 or 4 seconds, it may mean that Guang Ci has flipped me into Time Bending. So we'll need to watch for that and trigger the separation process then. Jinora is the resident Spirit expert, right? We should bring her in for her suggestions as well. This may be of help to Verrick and Zhu Li too."
"Foad, I am surprised at how well you are accepting Spirit's and adapting to their behavior! Why don't you give me that sketch to give to Asami! I sure that Korra will be thrilled that you thought of a way to help Asami."
"You two do that, I need to get Korra to Iroh and Tenzin for an update on the Fire Lord's actions. She's getting on a Drumhead, she even wants Verrick and Zhu Li for telling Raiko on how to use the Spirit Cannon. Spirit's be Damned if I'm going to hand over a Rape victim and a blind man to her in this state!"
As Kya pulls a pad and scriber out for Foad, he begins to sketch, as I turn towards the partially open door to there room, I hear Asami say, "...into the city to assess the damage, then...", then Korra breaks in with a tone in her voice, "Asami, you tease! That's twice before breakfast...ohhh you are so going to pay!", I
break in "I need the two of you to stay out of the city today, the Fire Lord's is doing a Raiko over what happened to her son and I don't want her to target either of you.", smugly grinning at the two red faced women, "Korra we need to see Tenzin and Iroh about the Fire Lord's actions." As the three of us leave Korra's room, I turn towards Kya and Foad, just finishing the sketch, when I hear Asami whisper "What's He doing here!", Korra then calls out "Foad, can you leave, please." I see him nod as he says something to Kya, then leave, as we approach. "Korra, what was that about?"
Kya replies, "Its ok Lin, Foad pointed it out to us that he is a trigger to Asami's panic attacks.", turning towards Asami, she continues, "Asami he doesn't take this personally, he knows that this one of the effects of what happened to you. Korra, if you don't mind I'd like to talk to Asami about designing something."
"It's ok Korra, we'll meet for a late breakfast."
"Sorry, Ms Sato, better make that lunch, what I want the Avatar for may take awhile."
Looking concerned, Korra turns to Asami, hugging her tightly whispers "If you need me for anything send a message, I'll be right there! "
TBC