Okay, this was the story 'Kankurou is Tom Cruise'…..well I changed the title as noticed…..but hey….it is just a bunch of random put together…soooooooo….ENJOY!!
(Oh yeah, some of the jokes are from shows and parodies, …you know the usual…and I don't own Naruto, nor the characters in it.)
One day, a lonely day, a boring empty dusty road with a little tumble weed rolling along day, Shikamaru was sitting on his roof, counting how many fingers he had.
"One, two, seven, PICKLE, ZEBRA, CHICKEN!"
He was very talented at counting. Suddenly, Rock Lee fell from the sky and landed on a sharp piece of wood sticking out of the roof. He screamed in pain, as the wood was stuck in his head, and ran around in circles. He stopped and looked at Shikamaru, and said,
"Gai Sensei?"
"I am not Gai sensei."
"Gai sensei?"
"I told you I am not GAI SENSEI!"
Rock Lee went silent for a bit, and said again,
"Gai sensei?"
Shikamaru was gone by now and rock Lee felt lonely…
"GAI SENSEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Suddenly. Off in the distance, Might Gai's voice was heard.
"LEE, STOP SAYING MY NAME LIKE A STUPID POKEMON!!"
Suddenly, off in the distance, Kankurou was riding on his Crow, and landed on the roof. He looked at Rock Lee and smiled.
"I'm gonna eat your toes."
Rock Lee froze up and screamed.
"OMG!!!! HELP ME!!! TOM CRUISE IS GONNA KILL ME!!"
"I AM NOT TOM CRUISE!"
Rock Lee turned around and stood in his fighting position.
"SIX GATE OF JOY OPEN!!"
Kankurou sighed,
"I just said I wasn't Tom Cruise."
"I KNOW YOU SAID THAT, BUT YOU DID NOT AGREE THAT YOU ARE MY LITTLE FLUFFY BUNNY STUFFED ANIMAL THING THAT COMFORTS ME WHEN I AM SAD!!! YOU NEVER COMFORTED ME WHEN YOUR STUPID BROTHER SMASHED MY LEG AND ARM!!"
Rock Lee ran off and he was heard screaming,
"YOU STUPID!!"
Suddenly, Rock Lee made a sudden stop and saw Shikamaru again. But this time, he was holding a string of Christmas lights while Gaara was spinning in a circle so that all the lights were wrapped around him.
"I'M A TORNADO!"
Shikamaru ran out of lights and soon grabbed garland and put it in Gaara's hand, and he started spinning around once more. Rock Lee walked over to Gaara, and waved his hand in a friendly hello. Gaara gave him a mean stare and then attacked.
"YOU MUST D.."
Gaara fell on his face for everything was wrapped around his feet as well. So, Gaara got up, and he had tears in his eyes.
"ROCK LEE!! YOU HURT MY FEELINGS!"
And Gaara ran away and hugged his dad. On his way to his dad, he fell a number of times. He reached out to hug his dad's leg, but Gaara's dad just shook him off.
"GET THIS THING OFF OF ME!!! OMG!!! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!"
Gaara's Dad ran around while Gaara was clinging to his leg while saying,
"I love yah Dadio."
Gaara's Dad suddenly ran up a mountain and jumped into a pit of lava to get Gaara off. Gaara let go at the last second and stood on a rock over looking the rim of the volcano. Temari spurt out of the lava holding her dad on her shoulder while she sang,
"OH THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC!!"
Gaara stare wide eyed.
"YOU STUPID!! WHY DIDN"T YOU LET HIM BURN!! HE WAS SUCH A MEANY HEAD!! HE CALLED ME FAT!!"
"Gaara, no he didn't."
"HE SO DID!! DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT GIRLFRIEND!!"
"I'M YOUR SISTER!!"
"FINE BE LIKE THAT!! BUT, MY FOOT SAYS SOOOOOO OTHERWISE!!"
Gaara turned around,
"I am going to go home and watch some T.V. while you go and save DADDDDYYYYYY!!"
Gaara stuck out his tongue, and soon Temari started crying.
"DAD!! HE STUCK HIS TONGUE OUT AT ME!!"
"I DON'T CARE!!"
"Gaara was right, you are mean, and you do call him fat."
"WHAT! I NEVER…."
Temari dropped her dad into the lava, and road off singing again.
Gaara went walking down a road, while he could see Kankurou up ahead.
"HEY I KNOW YOU!!"
Kankurou turned his head, and soon ran away.
"OH COME ON!! JUST BECAUSE LAST TIME I MADE YOU PEE YOUR PANTS DOESN'T MEAN I AM GOING TO BE ALL EMO THIS TIME!!'
Kankurou kept on running.
"I GOT CUPCAKES!! MADE WITH EVERY LOVING TOUCH!!'
Kankurou turned around,
"FINE!! GIVE ME A CUPCAKE NOW!! I WANT CUPCAKE I WANT CUPCAKE I WANT CUPCAKE!!"
Gaara stared at him. He gobbled down all the cupcakes before Kankurou could even get to him.
"You don't get cupcake. You get a ten year old prune."
Gaara picked out a prune out of his pocket and threw it at Kankurou's head.
"I found it, and kept it for the right moment."
Gaara was walking down a road, while he saw Kakashi off in the distance.
"OH HI MR.MAN!!"
Kakashi turned his head.
"It is Kakashi."
"WHATEVER YOU SAY MR.MAN!!"
"I'm Kakashi."
"Mr. Man."
"Kakashi."
"YOU ARE SO MR. MAN!!! GOD!!"
Gaara ran off and turned to find Naruto sitting in a corner.
"HEY YOU!!"
Naruto looked at him,
"I like rusty spoons."
"SO DO I!!"
"GROUP HUG!!"
Gaara went wide eyed when Naruto hugged him.
"OMG!! COTOUTIES!! OMG OMG OMG!! I AM GOING TO GET A DISEASE!!! OMG!!"
Suddenly sand was blown in Naruto's face. Naruto swallowed half of it, and soon Gaara ran off. He ran ALLLLLL the way to the Hokage.
"MISTER OLD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT INFECTMACATED!!!!"
"With what, Gaara?"
"NARUTO GERMS!! THEY ARE GOING TO EAT MY LIVER!!"
"Yes that is a shame. Now do you have anything else to say?"
"Do you have any Jubjubes?"
"No, but I do have other sorts of CANDY!! AND NOW WITH SUGAR COVERED DONUTS!! WITH FIFTY PERCENT MORE SUGAR!!"
"OKAYYYYYYY!!"
The Hokage gave Gaara his donut. Gaara took one bite, and because of his small body, the sugar went through his whole body under three seconds. He ran around the room screaming,
"I'M A FRIENDLY ARMADIO!! I'M A CUDDLY PUSSY WILLOW!!! I MASTERED THE BARBEQUED GRILLO!!"
The Hokage dropped dead from Gaara's horrible singing. Kankurou walked into the room. HE saw Gaara passed out on the floor.
"Hey wake up."
SUDDENLY……nothing happened, and magically Gaara didn't turn into a raccoon. Go figure. Kankurou carried Gaara all the way home, and laid him on the couch, Kankurou sat down on a recliner chair. He turned on a football game and drank coke ALL DAY.
Next day…
Gaara was still asleep, and Temari came home to find him sleeping and Kankurou sleeping, too. Except Kankurou was in a coma.
"YO, GAARA WAKE UP!! I GOT PANCAKES ON THE GRILL!"
Gaara mubbled,
"I hate…..pancakes…you…always…put to much…starch in it….blueberries…."
"Oh no not the blueberries thing again."
FLASH BACK!
One day Gaara, when he was about three learned his first word. As everyone would think it would be die, or I hate people, or something like that, but he was in the kitchen. Gaara's Dad was in an apron, pretending to be a pastry chief. Gaara, looked at the counter and saw a bag, it said blueberries on it. He read it, and he soon learned his first word.
"Blueberries…."
"Oh yeah Gaara…..uhh….yeah…..forgot my line….where is that script."
"DADDY YOU JUST RUINED THE WHOLE THING!! YOUR STUPID!!"
BACK TO REALITY!!
Gaara was rolling around on the couch, and soon he got up. His eyes were still closed and now he was sleep walking……suspicious….he walked over to Temari…
"WHAT'S GOING ON PRETTY LADY!!!"
He hugged his sister, and Temari screamed.
"Oh fiddle sticks, I am dead."
Gaara hugged his sister so hard that Temari fell on the floor, in a coma. Kankurou woke up, and saw Gaara wide awake.
"Uhhhh you are awake."
"Yeah, I need to catch some zzz's"
Then Gaara fell to the floor asleep.
Outside of the building.
There was a little kid playing with his friends when all of a sudden, the building they were playing in front of started to have something crack out of the roof.
"OMG!!! IT IS A GIANT…….THING!!!"
There was a giant sleeping raccoon……yeah……
Kankurou stared…..and stared….and stared….he started chewing on the prune….and stared some more……
"Well, I will go call dad."
ring ring
"I am sorry please hold while the Kazekage is busy."
elevator music
Kankurou stood for a while, staring and waiting, and staring and waiting…then his dad answered..
"What?"
"Yeah, Gaara turned into Shukaku again, and how do you turn him back.."
"Two words..cheese puffs…and you have to sing it too…yeah…kind of busy right now…"
"CHEESE PUFFS CHEESE PUFFS!! OMG IT IS A CHEESE PUFF!! CHEESE PUFF CHEESE PUFF!! GET YOUR BAG TODAY!!"
Gaara shrunk down, and smiled and sand with his brother…..suddenly Rock Lee came in…
"KANKUROU!! Omg……..tears YOU ARE HANING OUT WITH THAT GUY!!!!"
"He is my brother you know."
"I I I I I I I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!! WE ARE SO OVER!!"
Rock Lee slammed the front door.
Yes…yes indeed…this is what happens in spare time…there was a whole other part at the end, but I decided to not add it since it wasn't as funny as this part. Sorry if there are any grammar problems or spelling problems. Some of the jokes are taken from other things and I pay full credit to them for the lines.
I just posted this for no reason at all. I don't care if you criticize it or whatever for I am sure people will read it and laugh their asses off….and I wrote this a long time ago as noticed with the whole Shukaku still being in Gaara….anyway…I hope you enjoyed….