Author's Note: Hello, everyone! It's finally here, the long-awaited conversation between Loki and Odin. I really feel like I did it justice and I hope you all agree.
This is the last official 'story' chapter, with the next being a wrap-up/epilogue sort of chapter. I realize that this story is shorter chapter-wise than We Can Be Found, but the amount of words per chapter in this story has gone up, so it's really not that much shorter.
Anyway, on with the story. As always, reviews, favorites, and follows are extremely appreciated. Thank you for all those who take the time to leave feedback, you always make my day.
Chapter Ten
It was a Saturday morning in Avengers Tower, and nothing strange was happening.
"You know, something really should go wrong right about now." Tony said, sprawled out on the couch. Saturday mornings had become the de-facto "everybody who's not on a mission or working on something top secret come eat breakfast" mornings.
"The only thing I see going wrong is that you're not helping, Stark." Steve shot back.
"Uh, I thought I was banned from the kitchen…apparently I cause things to explode in flames."
"No, that's Thor." Natasha said, deadpan. "You're just hopelessly inept when it comes to cooking."
Christy was peering into the fridge and frowning. "Uncle Bruce, how many eggs do we need, again?"
Bruce looked up from where he and Steve were frying large quantities of bacon. "Ah…at least a carton, I think. Maybe two. Actually, probably two. And we can make more if we need them."
"That's a lotta eggs…"
"Blame your dad. And Thor."
Steve rolled his eyes. "Bring the eggs over on the other counter, sweetheart. You can start cracking them in the bowl."
Christy nodded, and then shook her head. A smirk that looked to be borrowed from Tony appeared on her face.
"Uncle Tony, Uncle Thor, c'mere! I'm gonna show you how to crack eggs."
Loki, who'd been fairly silent up till now, suddenly looked alarmed. "Are you sure…?"
Christy shrugged. "They gotta learn sometime! And cracking eggs is easy!"
Thor approached the counter like a skittish kitten. Tony looked mildly bored, but there was a tinge of worry behind his eyes.
Taking an egg out of the carton, Christy faced her uncles. "Now, first thing you do is hold the egg, like this." She demonstrated, holding the egg toward one end. "Then, you tap it on the edge of the bowl. Not too hard, otherwise it gets eggshell in the bowl, and the eggs taste crunchy. And that's gross."
Steve smirked. This 'lesson' was sounding familiar to the one he'd given Christy not too long ago.
Tony grabbed an egg and proceeded to crack it on the side of the bowl. "Now what?"
"Now, you pull the egg apart, let it come out of the shell, and then throw the shell in the sink."
The billionaire completed the task easily. It wasn't so much that he couldn't do things in the kitchen as that he'd never had the need or opportunity to do them.
Thor was still frowning at the carton of eggs. "Like this, then?" he questioned, picking up an egg and holding it in a death grip.
The egg promptly cracked.
Everyone stared for a moment…and then burst into laughter.
Thor laughed too, but he still looked extremely embarrassed.
Loki got up from where he was sitting at the bar. "No, no, brother. Like this." He took another egg out of the carton. "Hold it gently, not like you're gripping Mjolnir!"
"I tried that!" Thor protested, a trifle sulky.
"Obviously not hard enough. Now, hold the egg like you would hold a child's hand." Loki said, gesturing at Christy.
Thor slowly grabbed an egg from the carton and held it gingerly from his fingertips.
"Hold it from the end and tap it against the side of the bowl."
"How did you become an expert?" Thor grumbled.
"Watching and listening. Now hush and crack the egg. In the bowl!"
Thor very lightly tapped the egg against the bowl's side. It barely dented.
"A bit harder…"
It took three more taps, but the egg finally cracked. Thor beamed, and then looked up to see everyone staring at him.
"Well? What are you all staring at?" he asked, huffing slightly.
"Who wants to make waffle batter?" Bruce asked, breaking the awkward silence.
"Ooh, me!" Clint said, grabbing a bowl out of the cabinet.
"You are such a child." Natasha joked, flicking him with a towel.
Clint easily dodged the swinging fabric. "Who's the child, now?"
"Not me, obviously." Christy said under her breath.
Thor snorted. "I think she is taking after her uncle."
"Which one?" Loki asked.
Conceding to that point, Thor nodded. "All of them. And after Natasha."
"We've created a monster." Tony joked in a fake-horrified tone.
Christy just shrugged and tapped Clint on the shoulder. "Can the waffles have chocolate chips?"
They finished cooking breakfast and the meal quickly dissolved into the typical bantering free-for-all that categorized most of the team meals.
It had been almost a month since Loki's last 'epiphany'. He and Bruce had been working nearly non-stop in the lab and had finally managed to create a self-replicating liquid that counteracted the effects of not only cancer, but also most forms of AIDS.
Around the Tower, things were less tense. Everybody had acknowledged that Loki had become a completely different person, so there was little-to-no sniping about what had occurred in the past.
Life was good.
Everybody (even Tony) helped clean up after eating. It was the rule.
Steve had just loaded the last plate in the dishwasher, when suddenly, there came a loud crack, as though the ceiling had split in two.
And then, the last person any of them had expected was standing in the middle of the Common Floor.
Everyone was more-or-less used to Fury's imposing demeanor. But the man who stood before them almost put the Director to shame. And it wasn't just the fact that his eye patch was made of gold.
"Father!" Thor cried.
Thor was the only one who seemed at least moderately happy. Everyone else had gone into a defensive position.
Steve took one look at Christy's wide eyes and snatched her up into his arms.
Loki just stood, eyes almost as giant as Christy's. Bruce moved behind him and placed his hand lightly on Loki's arm.
"Okay, does he just pop in like you do, or am I gonna have to pay for damages on my Tower, again?" Tony asked Thor.
"I have left your Tower unscathed, Tony Stark, never fear." Odin replied, giving Thor a smile and firm grip on the shoulder.
"And you know my name because…"
"Tony, just shut up." Steve muttered, still trying to soothe Christy. She wasn't crying—but she wasn't making a sound either, and that was troubling.
"I know your name, because I have been observing this Tower all these many months while my sons have been here."
Loki's eyes got even wider. Was it just him, or had Odin put specific emphasis on the 's' in 'sons'…?
"And I have come, because I wished to speak with both of them, on their territory, as it were."
"Well, it's really our territory, if you don't mind…sir, your majesty…whatever you're called." Clint drawled.
Thor glowered slightly. "My father is the ruler of the Nine Realms and you will show proper respect…"
Clint smirked. "Apologies. We don't exactly have royalty around here. Closest we get is him." He jerked his finger at Tony.
Loki shot a glance at Steve, one that clearly read please save this before we all die.
Setting Christy one the ground, Steve cleared his throat and stepped up to the proverbial plate. "Welcome to Avengers Tower, your majesty. I apologize for any…offense my team may have caused you, they're all insane."
Clint looked ready to protest, but Natasha pulled him back and gave him a glare.
Odin actually smiled. "Steven Rogers, if I am not mistaken. My son spoke a great deal about you when last he was on Asgard."
Steve looked slightly embarrassed.
"What, you didn't talk about me, Point Break? I'm shocked, shocked and hurt…"
"Shut up, Tony!" Nearly all the Avengers cried.
"Ahem…" Odin cleared his throat. "If there is a room somewhere…?"
Tony smirked. "Nope, I've got a better idea. I'm not hanging around while this little pow-wow heats up. I'm co-opting my niece for the day and taking her to Coney Island."
Steve groaned, but nodded when he saw the ecstatic look on Christy's face. "Fine. Nat, Clint, Bruce, you up for it?"
Bruce looked at Natasha. Natasha looked at Clint. Clint nodded.
"Yeah, we'll go. I can win major prizes at those shooting games, anyway."
Everybody not from Asgard began to troop off the Common Floor.
"Bye Uncle Thor, bye Uncle Loki!" Christy called. "Try not to kill each other!"
As the elevator door slammed, Odin looked at his sons, an extremely perplexed expression on his face.
"What exactly…?"
"Don't ask." Thor replied quickly. Loki nodded.
"Yes, it's all better if you don't ask."
"Very well. Who does the child belong to?"
"Steven." Thor said.
"He adopted her." Loki added.
Odin sighed.
"And you jump straight to the point, Loki. Thor, if you could…leave us alone for a moment."
Thor nodded and left the room. Loki almost wished he could stay, but he knew this was a conversation that could only work between him and Odin.
Steve's words from weeks ago were playing on repeat in his head as they both sat in the entertainment area, across from each other.
"Have grace for him. All people make mistakes. All people at times have less than pure motives."
"Maybe he really did love you and was just bad at showing it."
"My son." Odin said quietly. "And there, I suppose, we must begin."
Loki took the opening to ask the question that had been burning on his mind ever since that horrible day he'd found out the truth.
"But am I really your son?"
Odin sighed. "Frigga obviously did not give birth to you, so in that respect, no, you are not biologically mine. But you are still my son. I found you, I brought you home. Your mother never questioned it, and she was longing for another child anyway, since Thor had grown into his difficult toddler stage. You were raised as a prince. From the moment I found you, you have never not been mine."
He sighed again. "Loki…I have made mistakes."
And that was all it took. The dam burst.
"Why? You said that you never told me, because you feared that I would feel different. Did it ever occur to you that I already did? How I was always 'Thor's brother' and never just 'Loki'? How I was weak and pale and scrawny and Thor was strong and handsome and shining? I only ever wanted to be his equal! I only ever wanted to be loved like him!"
Odin sat, still as stone, while Loki raged.
"Well? Aren't you going to say something?"
"And what can I say? That I have failed you, failed as a father? That I did not notice my own child falling into despair? That I should have hauled you back onto the Bifrost before you had the chance to loose your grip on Thor? That I am possibly the worst father in all the Nine Realms?!"
Loki felt paralyzed, his mind blank and numb.
Odin had not just uttered those words, he had not…
Because Odin was never wrong. Odin never failed.
"I did not silence the words of those who called the Frost Giants monsters, nor did I assure you that you were not one, when you discovered your heritage. I did not reassure you that you were and always would be my son. I did nothing. And that was the greatest crime of all—that which I did not do. And my passivity damaged you greater than any sword."
"Loki…I was wrong."
Loki couldn't breathe. His heart was pounding in his ears and he was sure that any moment it would leap out of his chest because no, no, there was no way this could be happening, it was impossible.
Because for all he had longed for this day, nursed petty thoughts of having Odin groveling before him, he'd never believed it would actually occur.
Nobody apologized to him. Nobody. Only Thor ever had, and that was only recently.
"For this and anything else I have done that facilitated your turn down the dark path you took…I apologize. Can you…can you forgive me, Loki?"
Loki was trembling now, his breathing short and harsh. Could he? Could he forgive the man who had caused him so much pain?
Have grace for him…
Everyone has value…
Takes a lot of energy to hate someone…
He did not want to spend the rest of his life hating. He had already wasted too much of it in that place.
And if he had already (somehow) been forgiven in spite of his crimes, how could he refuse to offer the same?
"If you had asked me that question before you sent me here, I would have said no." he replied. "But now, after all I have seen and learned…I say yes. Yes, Father, I forgive you."
Odin's face broke into a broad smile, before turning serious once more. "This does not mean that what I did was suddenly of no consequence. I shall be attempting to make up for my past actions once we return to Asgard."
Loki nodded. "I understand." Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. "Will you be lifting the spell, the one that binds me from lying?"
"So eager are you to have it lifted?"
"Actually, I was wondering if you could leave it in place, for a little while more."
Odin looked beyond shocked.
"It's only…it's easier to change one's reputation if the general populace knows that one is incapable of lying."
Still in a state of disbelief, Odin nodded.
"So be it."
"And…one other thing." Loki half-whispered, feeling extremely pathetic.
"Anything."
"I…do you…you actually love me?" the words came out in one distressed rush.
In two swift strides, Odin had walked across and sat down beside Loki.
"Yes, of course I do, my son. I have always loved you, ever since you were a child."
"I…I asked you, if you didn't take me for a war trophy, why you took me. You never answered."
Odin shook his head, his gaze far away, across the sea of time. "I was exhausted. We all were, after the battle. And I found you, lying alone, abandoned…I know not. I suppose I was just so tired of death, of killing, of the acres of blood…I looked at you, kicking and crying in your blanket…and I wanted you to live. I knew no one else would take you; for the blood lust was still too high. As I said before, your mother had already spoken of her desire for another child."
He sighed. "So, there it is. Not particularly glamorous or compelling, I suppose…I simply wanted you to have a chance. You were an infant, undeserving of your present fate. I wanted you to live."
It may not have been glamorous or compelling, but to Loki, it was a balm on his wounded heart. He had not been taken as a war trophy or relic.
Someone had wanted him to live. Someone had cared enough to snatch him from an icy death.
He bowed his head. "I have…not been the best son, recently."
"And I have not been the best father. It seems we shall both have to start over." Odin smiled. "What do you say we let Thor back in, eh?"
Loki smiled, a trickster's smile, and yet innocent at the same time, like a child about to play a prank. "Indeed. But allow me to test a theory." He strode over to the door of one of the spare rooms and deftly twisted the knob on the door.
Sure enough, Thor fell forward as the door opened up. He caught himself in time, though, and turned an incredulous gaze on Loki.
For his part, Loki just smirked and said, "Tsk, tsk, brother; when will you learn not to listen at doors?"
Thor, of course, was already roaring with laughter and as they returned to the entertainment area, Loki was shocked to find their father laughing as well.
As the laughter died down, Odin shook his head in wonder. "Ah, my sons. It seems exile was good for both of you. Come, tell me how it has been for you all these months. Your friends seemed…interesting."
Thor grinned. "Interesting, yes, that's one way of putting it."
"But mortals are much wiser than we were ever told." Loki added. "Kinder and more willing to extend mercy in most cases."
"Indeed?" Odin once more felt a sense of shock at the change in his youngest. Loki would never have been caught saying anything of the sort a few months earlier. "Then tell me more."
And so, Loki did, chronicling the tale of everything that had happened to him since his banishment; joys, sorrows, embarrassments, awkwardness. Thor interjected a few points, but he refrained from hijacking the conversation, as he once would have.
Nothing could be healed in a day, and it would take many to fix the rift in this family. But today, a very large step in the right direction had occurred.
Because, in the end, nothing was impossible. No one was ever truly a lost cause.
All it took was someone courageous enough to look at what had never been, and ask, "Why not?"
Title drop! Hope you enjoyed the conversation. Last chapter should be up within the next week, if not this weekend. And then, it's on to the pre, during, and post-Winter Soldier timeline. OHBOYOHBOYOHBOY! ICAN'TWAIT! BUCKY! ANDSAM! YAY!
Ok, I'm done now. Sorry about that. ;)
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