Chapter Five:
Spying
Santana sat in the small pew behind the Fabray family though her eyes remained firmly fixed on the priest who continued his segment on damnation from the week before. The first ten minutes of the lesson rocked Santana's core a little, as it always did when talk about where she would spend the afterlife turned up. However as the monotoned man spoke, the novelty wore off and Santana found herself slipping back into her own thoughts.
She had spent the majority of the morning avoiding any conversation regarding the night before, as did her parents. It was Roman who seemed hell-bent on finding out what she thought of his girlfriend.
"Come on San, you can tell me, what did you really think of her? " He persisted following her around the house as she dressed and brushed her teeth.
"Why does it matter what I think? You're the one who's crazy about her, shouldn't that be all that matters?" She said picking up her pace around the house hoping he would notice the brush off and go away.
"I mean I'm going to keep dating her no matter what you say- it's just that what you think is important to me. You're the only family I'm close to." his sincerity made Santana even more annoyed.
"I don't know what you want me to say. She's good-looking and all, but she's kind of weird. She seems like one of those people who are insufferably sweet like, all the time. She's whatever. If we were at school together I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to her, but I also wouldn't give her shit ether." Santana lied.
Brittany was stunningly adorable only made more perfect by how kind-hearted she seemed. It wasn't a far stretch to picture all the animals of the forest flocking to the girl because her heart seemed so pure. Santana kicked herself for having such thoughts about her again. Brittany was beyond off-limits which put Santana in a foul mood from the start of the day. She needed a way to start clean and throw these feelings away.
As Santana sat pretending to really listen she remembered how Quinn had gone to confession just the week before. It didn't seem like a particularly fun thing to do, but she had always been taught that she should turn to God when she had troubles beyond her control. Plus there was some bizarre promise of digression when it came to confession.
Santana was pulled from her thoughts once more by the feeling of being watched. Her eyes glanced around to her mother who sat alone next to Roman. Their father had for gone church due to some emergency at the hospital. Nether were looking at her. Her eyes trailed back to the pew in front of her where , sure enough, Quinn was watching her with an intense stare. Santana's stomach knotted at the way her former crush watched her, but she batted those feelings away, instead she furrowed her brow.
"What's up with you?" Quinn lipped silently. She could feel the knots growing tighter. How did Quinn know there was something even 'up'? Santana shrugged and shook her head as if to say nothing was wrong. Quinn opened her mouth to protest, but was deterred by a sharp smack to the thigh by Judy Fabray. Both girl's attention snapped back to the front and didn't waver until the service had ended.
When the final hymn had been sung and everyone had finished greeting each other with a series of 'Peace be with you's ', Quinn turned back around to Santana while Judy and Maria chatted.
"Okay, for real. What is up with you Lopez? You're usually in a bad mood or whatever , but today it's just pathetic. You've got wounded puppy written all over your face. What's going on where's your dad?" Quinn dug.
"Nothing is 'up' with me. I just had a crappy night last night." Santana tried to deflect but it didn't work.
"Does this have anything to do with the rumors about you and Puck?"
Santana's eyes flicked back to Quinn's. How the hell did she know already it hadn't even been twenty-four hours.
"Please, Noah and Finn are bros for life. They tell each other everything, so of course Finn told me that you and Puck were dating. What I want to know is why you didn't bother to tell me, since I'm like the only friend you have." Quinn snapped placing her hands at her hips, waiting for an answer Santana didn't have.
"I—uh-" She struggled to find words to explain what had happened, but remembered the conditions Noah had set out. She had to endure this for one week, go to a dumb dance, and then it would be over. It couldn't hurt her rep at school ether. "It's new. He asked me out on Friday and I said I couldn't be his girlfriend unless he met my parents, so he came over last night. That's it. Things didn't go so well because Puck is well...Puck." Santana explained.
"Well keep me in the loop next time. You should also know that Angelica is having knee surgery and wont be on the team any longer this year. We're going to need to hold try outs."
Santana could see the priest cleaning up and about to leave, motivating her to end this conversation.
"Uh—yea. Cool. Whatever. I think I know a girl, but if you'll excuse me I've got to go talk to the father-" Santana left Quinn looking as confused as ever as she pushed her way through the congregation toward the confession booths.
"San, what are you doing?" called Roman from across the room.
"Just give me a few minutes and then I'll be out." she yelled back before taking a deep breath and pulling the priest aside. "Father Thomas, I was wondering if I could—erm-" She nodded toward the confession booth. The elderly man seemed a little surprised, but smiled and nodded .
"Of course my child. Go in and have a seat I'll be with you in just a few moments."
Santana thanked him and entered the small booth, thankful that most everyone had left for the lobby already. She sat quietly trying to think of all the things she wanted to get off her chest. Her nerves jittered causing her legs to bounce of their own accord. She had never told another living person her secretes before and she worried weather or not she could be forgiven. The door on the other side of the small screen opened and startled Santana.
"Good afternoon Miss. Lopez what would you like to confess today?" The elderly priest was surprisingly pleasant for someone who had spent the last two hours discussing what awaits in purgatory.
"In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. My last confession was er—never." Santana began. It was really the only thing she could remember about confession from catechism class. The old man chuckled.
"I see you at least remember something from all our time together, but I think for now we can skip formality. God will understand." She couldn't see his eyes, but she could hear the amusement in his voice. She let out a small breath which helped calm her anxieties.
"Father, I've come here to confess a sin a few actually, but I'm afraid that there is no forgiveness for them. I've broken commandments and committed mortal sins. I feel trapped with no way out. I've come here to ask forgiveness and a fresh start, so can move on and live a life that makes me and God happy." She said miserably.
" Santana, from what I have seen you are a good and smart girl. Maybe you're a little rough around the edges, but I can assure you that if you are truly sorry there is nothing our lord god can not forgive you for." His words relaxed Santana a little. This confession thing wasn't so bad after all.
"Father, I've –I have unnatural feelings for a girl who I've met, but it's not just her. I fear that I'm gay and there is nothing anyone can do about that. To make it worse the girl who I have these confusing feelings for is my brother's girlfriend." Santana looked down at her hands. Her words hung quietly in the air for a long moment. She waited for the father to cast her out or react harshly in some way, but he did not.
"I see. That is a very heavy burden to bear Santana. First let me begin by telling you that God loves all his children no matter the struggles they face and if you put your faith in him, he will lead you to the answers you seek. Coveting something a sibling has is breaking one of the lords commandments, so I'd like you to keep that in mind when you see your brother. Instead of focusing on what he has that you do not try to consider his happiness above your own. As for the woman who you claim to be lusting after, there are worse things in this life than loving someone. That being said I want you to try to curb you attraction. Look at her as though she or the others you meet as fellow sisters. Love them as you would love your brother. You would not have intimate relations with your brother because that is an abomination in the lord's eyes."
The father spoke softly like a wise grandfather to Santana. His words seemed to make perfect sense as she sat there and listened quietly. She was over come with a sense of relief and accomplishment. Maybe she would be able to move forward just like that.
"This evening I'd like you to pray the rosary three times and I'd also like you to take this."
From a small slot the priest pushed through a small pan-flit. On the front it seemed like a regular weekend bible study flier, but as she looked closer at the inside contents Santana realized it was a camp where they tried to 'heal' the gay out of you. She swallowed thickly.
"I'd like you to attend at least once, Santana. See how it works for you. If it doesn't, that's okay. There are other things out there that could help you. This is simply one of them. Your parents don't have to know. It will appear as though you're going to a regular bible study camp every other week. All I ask is that you think it over."
His words rattled around her brain, but she didn't really hear them. Until now being gay had never really felt real to her, but holding that flier was like finding out that she was sick or sicker then she had previously though. She felt like an AA patient finally owning up to having a drinking addiction and her insides became racked with guilt.
"Thank you father. I'll think about it." she whispered.
"If that's all my dear, I think your family is waiting for you." He said with a kind smile in his voice.
Santana shoved the flier down deep into her purse and left the booth as quickly as possible.
Monday wasn't much of an improvement on her mood as Santana gathered her things up and began to walk toward fourth period. Her mind continuously jumped around as she tried to figure out what to do about Puck, Brittany, church camp and the cheer team. It felt as though she would have an answer to one question only to have it slip from her grasp when she was reminded of a different problem. It had her brooding around campus all day. It didn't help that every time she found a spare moment, Puck would round the corner to walk to class with his 'smoken hot girlfriend'.
Thankfully as Santana walked down the hall it was only Quinn who stood next to her locker. At first Santana hated the fact that the hot blonde's locker had been placed right next to her own. It felt as thought the cosmos loved to torture Santana, but as the year wore on Santana seemed to mind less and less. At least she didn't have to waste her whole passing period to catch up on the latest gossip.
"Hey, how was the English test?" Quinn asked pulling her things out with out taking a second glance at Santana. She shrugged and opened her own combo, only to come face to face with the pan-flit from yesterday. Santana bit her lip, but pretended nothing was amiss.
"Shitty. Fucking Bentley turned it into a timed essay. I'd tell you the prompts, but he wrote different ones for every class."
"uh—Excuse me. Santana?"
Santana nearly jumped out of her skin and slammed her locker door shut suspiciously fast.
"What?" She growled turning on her heals to come face to face with a startled Rachel Berry. Santana could feel Quinn's eyes watching her closely. The weird cat sweater girl regain an obnoxious level of confidence and cleared her throat.
"Hello, I'm Rachel Berry. No doubt you've heard of me from my extremely popular web-series entitled-"
"No." Santana said sharply.
"E-excuse me I didn't—no what?" Rachel's confidence wavered.
"No, I don't know. I wouldn't be caught dead watching anything that you or your lame ass Glee club posts on the Internet. If you're here to ask me or Quinn to join you can forget it." The girl's face fell a little, but all Santana cared about was if she had seen into her locker.
"I just thought that you might like to join a club where your talents are actually appreciated and not over shadowed by-" Santana cut Rachel off, this time by taking a blue slushy from the hand of a freshmen walking by and then dumping it on the girl's head. Quinn gasped and covered her mouth trying not to laugh.
"Get the picture now, Hobbit? We're not interested, so why don't you and your hideous cat sweaters make your way to the locker rooms and change before I go all Lima Heights on your ass." Santana watched as the poor girl fought back tears before taking off.
"Jesus Santana. That was cold." Quinn smirked, but didn't protest what she had done any further.
It wasn't until fourth period was half way over that Santana began to even consider there might be consequences to her actions. Becky Jackson, couch Sue's new pet marched into her classroom and interrupted as though what she had to say were far more important than any lesson they could be learning.
"Coach Sue wants to see Lopez in her office stat." She stated before turning on her heel and storming right back out of the room. Santana roller her eyes and gathered her things up. She couldn't stand that little munchkin. She was almost as bad as Berry, almost.
Santana gave a single sharp knock on Sue's door before walking in. Quinn sat in the furthest open chair looking back at Santana.
"Look she had it coming-" Santana began, but it was Sue's turn to cut her off.
"Whatever you're about to prattle on about, forget it. I have much bigger fish to fry. Q, has told me all about the Oakwood girl's and how they have some kind of secrete weapon they're planning to use at nationals this year I'm sending you two on a mission to scope out what this weapon is, so we can figure out how to destroy it. I've already taken the liberty of calling your mothers and explaining that you'll be going home sick, nether of which seemed to care. I want you to take my credit card and drive to Oakwood and get me some answers." Coach slammed her fist down causing both girls to flinch.
Santana knew there was no arguing with Sue on this matter, but going to Oakwood meant seeing Brittany. She wasn't sure she was prepared to view the sexy blond as a fellow sister just yet.
A half an hour later Santana sat in her Prius looking toward the stadium where her arch rivals could be heard practicing. She tapped her steering wheel anxiously not sure whether to get out or not.
"Are we going over there or are we just going to sit here like lame asses Santana?" Quinn asked impatiently.
"They're not going to be happy if they catch us spying on them." Santana muttered knowing it was a piss poor excuse.
"They're not going to see us. We're going to stand-off to the side of the bleachers where those trees are over there. They wont even notice us unless they knew to where to look for us."Quinn said confidently opening her door and getting out. Santana gave a low groan. Maybe she should have just gone home sick like Sue had said, but she got out of the car regardless. Mentally she tried to brace herself for the person she might see, but it did little to calm the butterflies floating around her stomach once again.
The walk to where Quinn had pointed out was short and gave them a prime view of the field. It took Santana only a moment to spot the ginger bitch captain barking orders.
"God I can't stand her" Quinn growled under her breath. "Okay so who is that girl right there? She looks like she's instructing some of the other cheerleaders." Santana followed Quinn's line of sight until she found Brittany. Granted her back was turned to them as she faced another girl, but Santana would recognize her anywhere. She didn't say anything to Quinn, instead she continued to watch.
Brittany's hands extended and grabbed hold of the cheerleader's hips swaying them back and forth. She pointed to the girl's leg and motioned for her to stick it as far out as possible. The move looked familiar, but Santana couldn't put her finger on in. She couldn't take her eyes away from the girl's perfectly tone ass. She easily remembered with it had looked like in the light blue thong she had worn that night in the locker room.
Subconsciously Santana bit her lip as she watched. Brittany took a step back from the girl and did a small count off before demonstrating the move properly.
"Single Ladies."
Santana almost didn't hear Quinn over the dizzying feeling in her head. The way Brittany had moved her hips just for that half a second made it impossible to view her as just a friend. The return of the ache between her legs confirmed it.
"Huh?"
"She's teaching them moves from the 'single ladies' dance to add to their routine. I think the rumors about the professional dancer were true." Quinn grumbled. That was bad news for the cheerios, but even worse news for Santana's libido.
They continued to watch as Red called the team together for a run through. Strangely the girl took Brittany's right hand side instead of standing center-stage where captains usually stand. A medly of Beyonce music blasted through the stadium as the girls began their routine.
As expected the moves were complex; mixed with back-flips, round offs, back hand springs, and a series of other stunts which generally came with cheer routines. Their form was sloppy and a few girls missed their marks, which was something the judges had come to expect from the Wolfpack over the years, but Brittany never missed a beat. Her beauty and precision distracted Santana from the other sloppy girls who lacked good training. Her focused faced seemed to love every moment she was in motion. Unlike every other cheerleader Santana had ever know, Brittany's smile seemed genuine.
The dance only lasted a few moments leaving all the girls out of breath. Brittany panted, but she looked pleased with the team, Red however, did not.
"They were sloppy, but that routine was good. Too good. If that girl can clean up their technique, we might have a problem." Quinn said folding her arms tightly over her chest looking to Santana for a reaction or a comment.
Unfortunately Santana was frozen to the spot. Across the field Brittany stood waving to them while Red bitched out the rest of the team.
"She's not waving at us is she?" Quinn asked, just as baffled as Santana felt.
"I don't know..." Santana looked around to see who else the girl could be saying 'Hi' to, but there was no one around. 'Shit' Santana thought. She offered Brittany half a wave back only to have the bubbly blonde jog over toward them.
"Fuck! San why is she coming over here? How did she see us?"
Santana didn't answer yet again. She could just make out Red eying Brittany. A dark scowl shadowing her features as she followed over.
"Hey Santana ! What are you doing here?" Brittany's chipper voice called to the brooding latina. Santana didn't get a chance to answer before their Wolfpack captain strolled up from behind.
"Funny. I was about to ask you the same question. You know it's against league rules to spy on other teams right? You could be disqualified for this. I thought you of all people would know that Lucy." Red smirked darkly.
"Oh get over yourself. We weren't here spying..." Santana snapped back at the rude girl. Her eyes flicked to Brittany who looked like someone had just kicked her dog.
"Then why were you here?" Red raised her eye brow expectantly. Quinn opened her mouth in the hopes that a witty answer might come out , but there was nothing. They were caught red handed and both girl's knew it.
"Santana was actually picking me up from school today. Her brother is my boyfriend, but he got caught up at practice. I was just surprised she got here so early. I mentioned to you that I was moving. Santana lives closer to my house and I didn't want to inconvenience anyone. Isn't that right Sanny?" Brittany's innocent Crystal eyes locked with Santana's for the third time in the last week. She couldn't think. She couldn't breath. She couldn't even move,but some how she managed to give a small nod.
"Yea. I'm here to give her a ride home. Quinn came with me because we ditched school to get a good lunch instead of a crappy school one. Do Have a problem with that?" Santana clenched her teeth and forced herself to look at Red, who had an ugly sneer on her face.
"Whatever. That wasn't even our main routine anyway. Go ahead and go, Brittany,but you better not tell them anything." Red turned and marched off to take her frustrations out on her team.
"Do you mind filling me in on what the fuck is going on here?" Quinn demanded to know.
Santana rolled her eyes.
"I'll tell you in the car. Go get your things." She ordered Brittany, who seemed more than happy to skip off and grab her bag.
Once again Santana sat in her small fuel-efficient car staring at the football field trying to ignore the girl's in her car.
"Do you guys mind if we get some food first? I'm starving." Brittany chirped in the back center seat.
Santana pulled out of the parking lot and began the inconvenient trip back to Lima as Quinn started her onslaught of questions.
"So you're telling me, she's Ro's Girlfriend?" From the corner of Santana's eye she could see Quinn look back over her shoulder at Brittany. She flicked up to her review mirror only to see Brittany watching her before turning her attention to Quinn.
"I sure am. He's a sweetheart. My brother plays football with him. We met at a party." Brittany explained. Santana gritted her teeth and kept her eyes on the road. This was some kind of social nightmare. Her old crush and her new crush sitting together in her car talking about her brother.
"Brittany was the one I mentioned yesterday who I thought might be able to replace Angelica, although at the time I didn't know she could dance like that. Roman brought her over for dinner Saturday night with Puck. " Santana added sheepishly as Quinn glared at her. Clearly she wasn't happy about all the secretes floating around.
"Who's Puck? I don't remember meeting a puck."
"Noah Puckerman. My—my boyfriend" Santana nearly choked on her words.
"Oh! The one with the missing button on his shirt. He was funny. I enjoyed talking with him. You guys are cute together. " Brittany gave Santana a playful smile which she pretended not to see. The leggy blonde turned her attention back to Quinn. "Hi by the way. It's nice to meet you. What's your name by the way. When it's my turn to ask all about your life I'd like to have a name to go with a face."
Santana tried her best to hold back a smile. Quinn didn't find Brittany's playful sarcasm nearly as charming. As a matter of fact Santana didn't think Quinn knew she was being sarcastic at all.
"Quinn Fabray. I'm captain of the Cheerios."
"I love Cheerios! Especially the honey-nut kind."
For the first time since Santana had known her , Quinn seemed to be at a loss for words.
"Who's up for a little mexican?"
"That's so racist." Brittany dead panned, but the glint in her eye told Santana she knew just what she was saying. How was this girl so many wonderful things at once? With one look she could melt Santana from the inside out, she seemed the perfect balance of sweet and kind, yet held a wildly nature that Santana could not pin down, and now even more frustrating the girl was far too wonderfully brilliant for even Quinn to keep up with. How was a girl like Brittany real.
They didn't take long gathering their burritos and quesodillas from a quaint little shop off the side of the road. In the interest of saving time they agreed to eat in Santana's car on pain of death if they spilled a single drop. They ate and drove quietly the rest of the way only stopping to speak to get directions to Brittany's house.
"So do you think you'll be switching to McKinley, Brittany? Our cheer team is way better even though our football players suck." Quinn finally asked breaking the silence.
"I'm not sure. Winning isn't that important to me. The girl's at Oakwood aren't very nice. I much rather cheer for a team where people are friendly. Plus I don't want to make Santana uncomfortable."
Santana nearly slammed on the breaks as they came to a stop light.
"Wha-Why would I be uncomfortable?" She stammered angrily at the girl in her back seat.
Brittany shrugged.
"I don't know. It might just be weird since I'm dating your brother. If I had class with someone who was dating my brother I know I'd feel weird about it. Plus, all I'd think about is them kissing. "
Santana glared daggers at the girl through the mirror, but kept her tone even.
"Please. I can promise you that would not be a problem for me. Besides, if you haven't forgotten I have my own boyfriend I can fantasize about kissing. "
Brittany gave a silent laugh as though she very much doubted what was going on between Santana and Puck were real, however with Quinn in the car both girls continued to play the clueless game. It was becoming very confusing for Santana as she tried to figure out what it was Brittany did and did not know.
"That's my house." Brittany said pointing to a small little apartment complex that had seen better day. Quinn turned around to face Brittany.
"Why don't you visit our school tomorrow. Santana can pick you up and you can spend the day at McKinely—you know, see if you like it. You can make sure Santana isn't uncomfortable or whatever." Quinn gave a sweet fake smile that Santana could tell Brittany didn't believe for an instant. Santana turned her glare to Quinn who seemed not to give a damn what she thought.
"That sounds perfect. Pick me up at 7:30 tomorrow Sanny?" Brittany asked in her sweet innocent voice. Santana cringed at the new nickname, however there was something so annoying about the way she said it that almost made Santana find the name precious.
"Yea whatever." She said looking out her driver's side window refusing to look at the beautiful blonde again. She was being played hook and line, but she'd be damned before she let Brittany sink her.
The door closed and Santana couldn't stop herself from watching her bounce away towards the safety of her apartment complex.
"I don't care if her brain is full of cotton candy Santana, you will be fucking nice to her tomorrow. We need her on are team if we're going to crush Red and her Wolfpack bitches." Quinn said flatly as they pulled out of the parking lot.
Something told her that being mean to Brittany would be nearly impossible to do, no matter how infuriating the sexy smart blonde was.
*A/N- Hey guys! I just wanted to say thank you so much to the people who gave my stories C2s. That's really flattering. Also thank you so much for your sweet words. Your comments make me a better writer every day. I hope you liked this chapter so please review!
Also I'd be so grateful if you guys checked out my one shot called Shooting Star from Britt's POV. It's not too triggering, but you see the world through Britt's eyes. It's my first stab at second person narrative and I'd love some feedback on it.