Chapter 12

Bella simply gawked at him. She was hoping that this topic would somehow get evaded in the awkwardness. Guess she'd run out of luck, rather awkwardness. She didn't know what to say to him anymore. The truth? She wondered what that would initiate, would he want to meet her, and talk to her. What if he wanted access, custody and all that stuff? She really didn't want to scar her child's life with custody battles and parents fighting. She didn't even know how she was going to explain to Renesmee how she was Edward related to her. It's easy to say, 'he's your father', and just drop it on the kid. Little do we realize what goes on in their minds and the repercussions of such a revelation on the psyche of the child? What if she wouldn't accept him in her life?

But he didn't know it was a daughter and not a son. He'd seen Jacob and not Renesmee. He'd find that out soon, too. She wasn't a good liar.

"Edward, what do you want to know?"

"What's his name?"

The question took her by surprise. She wasn't sure what she was expecting really but this wasn't it, it was so innocent.

"It's a she." She decided it was easier with the truth. Edward's face lit up, it was like nothing had ever happened – she felt as if she was looking at the guy she met in college. "Renesmee."

"That's a beautiful name," he mumbled, trying to piece together the origins of the name. "You named her after our mothers." She gave a small smile at this, not many knew about it. Everyone thought it was a combination of the names of Renesmee's grandmother and hers.

"If you don't mind, can I meet her sometime?" he said, tentatively.

"Ed – I don't think that's a good idea – really, I mean," she didn't know how to explain it to him. She was having way too many thoughts in her head to sort through and even try voicing one of them.

"Why?"

"I think you do know why."

Edward shook his head at it, "I don't. I think I know, but I want to know what you've got to say."

"What would I tell her, telling her the truth right away would be downright foolish, and not telling her – I don't think I want to lie to my daughter. Most of all what if she doesn't accept you?"

Edward

It was endearing how she was concerned over their child accepting him. He hadn't thought of that. He was too caught up in the excitement to consider that aspect. Suddenly he felt scared, what if his daughter wanted nothing to do with him owing to his absence all these years.

"I guess you're right. But I can meet her right, you know we don't really have to tell her that we're related right away," he offered.

"I don't want to lie to her, I don't want to be that kind of mother."

"I don't want to be that kind of father either, but I'd rather know her a little than be out rightly be stripped off of whatever I can be to her as a father – " he didn't finish. His eyes went slightly glassy, he wondered if he could say another word without choking on them. He took a gulp of his beverage, and another, hoping the heaviness that had suddenly overcome him would go away. He started looking at the menu with too much concentration.

"It's okay, I understand." She said reaching out for his hand, gently squeezing it. He wondered if it was a doctor thing, or her old self coming through. "you can meet her as just Edward, probably – it's easier than having to explain stuff. It'll be easier for you to warm up to her that way."

"Are you sure you don't have a problem?"

Bella

It was too late to have a problem anyway. It was either this or a custody battle. The more you deny someone something the more they want it, it's better to give in to smaller demands than fight bigger battles tomorrow. If Renesmee didn't like him, he'd have to go away. So it was a calculated compromise.

A small part of her wondered what she would do if it came down to the truth, but that wasn't the battle she had to fight today so she let it be.

"Yeah, I think I owe you that much."

"Thank you," Edward said softly.

"Tomorrow, just drop by the hospital at two, you can come with to pick her up."

"Thank you for letting me in."

Not so soon, she thought. It's only because you're related to her biologically. To be honest she didn't want anything to do with him. She still hoped the past one week hadn't happened. What if he'd never seen her? What if she'd never lived in New York? What if she moved away, someplace non-descript, far away from him.